Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Fun With SiteMeter

Congratulations, Jake Watch! This is our 650th post!!

We've averaged 1.2 posts a day for 534 days now (!).

That's a lot of days, a lot of posts, and a lot of Jake.

Jake shows his utmost appreciation for our dedication.

We thought it would be nice to use this momentous occasion to celebrate the unsung heroes of Jake Watch: the people who wind up here via Google searches. I'm not just talking about Google searches for "jake gyllenhaal" (not that we don't appreciate you), or Google image searches, where we seem to pop up all the time (check out what you'll find on page 5!). I'm talking about the people who search for something specific and, for whatever reason, think they're going to find the answer here.

So let's play a game called

Which of the Following Google Searches Have Led People To Jake Watch Over the Past 24 Hours?

(Hint: The answer is "all of them.")

1. The Google search for: attractive m-shaped hairline
- Jake Watch is the first search result*. Understandable, because Jake does have an attractive m-shaped hairline. What's not understandable is why anyone would be searching for this.

2. jake gyllenhaal, boo, what happened
- 1st result, as we should be, since we are the Boo Authority. But in this case, "Authority" is not indicative of having any sort of knowledge on the subject.

3. where is jake gyllenhaal
- 9th result, but you won't find any specifics here. I will, Google Searcher, give you this tantalizing clue: Jake is somewhere on Earth, likely on land. To give you anything more would be unethical.

4. Jake gyllenhaal favourite food
- 1st result, although I don't think we can answer that. I can say for certain, though, that it is not cilantro!

5. jake gyllenhaal nude pictures
- 7th result. Seriously? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I would know...

6. jake gyllenhaal stalking
- Jake Watch shows up 1st...and 2nd and 5th and 10th! Now that's what I'm talking about! I'm guessing this searcher does not need me to elaborate at this point.

7. jake gyllenhaal acl
- 6th result; someone cares about something important (I'm assuming there is a vowel missing and this person is not actually interested in knee injuries)! Thank God, britpopbaby did that one post that one time that had actual facts about Jake on the issues...too bad that wasn't the post that showed up in the search.

8. boys like jake gyllenhaal (do they?)
- 9th result. Who searches via declarative sentences? Google couldn't do much with that. Neither can I.

9. jake gyllenhaal in boxers
- 6th result. Huh. You're a pervy bunch of searchers, aren't you? I hope the Rendition review helped you out.

10. wet cowboy boots pics (what?!)
- 1st result and, I gotta admit, this one actually makes sense. There was, in fact, a post about water, pictures, and cowboy boots. Interestingly, this post also came up under the search for "jake gyllenhaal nude pictures" and "jarhead shower jake" so basically it's the Google version of Jake porn. Awesome!
And the wild card:
11. heath ledger hair loss
- 3rd result (!). We did actually have a discussion on this. It went on for 61 comments. Those were the days...

Also, many of you have asked about britpopbaby. She has not abandoned Jake Watch! She is alive and well but completely without internet access at home, and has been for several weeks now. It is quite the mess, but unfortunately it's out of her hands. She will be back when she is able.

* Search positions subject to change based on time of search and country where search was performed. All of the above searches showed up as a "referral" on our SiteMeter between Monday night and Tuesday night.

Random picture of Jake from HERE. Wet cowboy boot Jake from IHJ.


Anonymous said...

Just goes to show you that sooner or later, everyone in the world will end up here at JW HQ.

Glad to hear Britpop's okay!

Becky Heineke said...

Someone just searched for "imaginary gingerbread people" and we came up second. I have seriously got to stop looking at the SiteMeter...

Cherita said...

Those are fracking hilarious. I knew the "M-shaped hairline" thing was originally part of the text in a magazine bit about Jake, but had forgotten that you had referenced it! And to think, so far the strangest search that keeps coming up on my FeedBurner analysis is "t"--just that, the letter t. If entertaining queries like these are what I have to look forward to, I can't wait!

Congratulations on post number 650, ladies. Here's to 650 more!

Cherita said...

Okay, inspired by your data, I went in to my Google Webmaster Tools, and discovered that the ninth most common search returning my blog, over the past 7 days, was "jakes a perv." Fabulous! Unfortunately this data has nothing to do with where in Google's rankings the returned page fell. But Zen Gyllenhaalism is on the first page (number 9!) when you search for "jake gyllenhaal cilantro." :)

Becky Heineke said...

^^^ HA!! I don't think I've run across a "jakes a perv" for JW, yet (although I just checked and we are on the second page). :) I'm so happy you're on the first page for Jake and cilantro! If there were any justice in the world, you'd be first...but there is no justice in the world.

The Google Webmaster Tools is intriguing...sorting searches would be nice. Too bad we don't have any comprehensive data over the course of the blog. I'm sure some REALLY weird shit has popped up over the months.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Jake Watch shows up 1st...and 2nd and 5th and 10th! Now that's what I'm talking about!

Damn right!

Anonymous said...

And og =f course when you gogle Jake-socks, JW comes up on the first page, LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry for the above typo's, the excitement of Jake and socks and all, hee.

cina said...

First of all: Happy 650th post Jake Watch! =) Wow, time flies huh?

Second: That picture of Jake? Seriously?? *scratches head*

And just a little tidbit: A friend of mine has a blog where a surprising amount of people actually end up by searching for "clown sex". And I tell you, her blog has NOTHING to do with clown sex (I never knew there was such a thing to be honest!) so how those people end up at her blog is a mystery in itself. But, It goes to show that there are some seriously twisted people out there...

Nothing Really Matters said...

^^^ Oh darling that is vile!

BirdGirl said...

Happy 650th everyone. Drinks all around!!!

Anonymous said...

Brilliant post. But now I'm dying to know, which post could have possibly led the person searching for imaginary gingerbread people to JakeWatch? I'm laughing out loud alone in my apartment, and I love it.

Xenia said...

Congrats for your 650th post JW!!:)

And come back soon BPB! We miss you!!

heddaparsons said...

Congrats on the 650th post PG!!!

I'll think I'll try Jake=Coffee and Jake looks so goofy in Stipes specs!

Thanks for the update on BPG, I was wondering where she went!

Sam said...

650 posts and lovin everyone of them!!!!!!

ooh a site meter- sounds SO fun, how does that work?

Becky Heineke said...

^^^ Go down to the very bottom of the main page and you'll see a little white and green button that says "SiteMeter." Click on it and you can see anything and everything you ever wanted to know about the last 100 people to visit Jake Watch. Our traffic numbers are public, so you see everything we do. ;)

Sam said...

ooooo how cool! Now i KNOW its not going to be an early night for me ;)

Anonymous said...

Seriously, how huge must Stipes head be when those glasses look like a comedy outsized pair when worn by Jake 'My head's so big they had to make a hat specially for me' Gyllenhaal.

*runs off to google 'imaginary gingerbread people'*

Sam said...

i think it thinks i live in melbourne. i dont i live in brisbane. either that or mine isnt showing up hehe

Becky Heineke said...

^^^ It's been know to say I'm in Atlanta. It's not the most accurate thing ever. ;)

Unknown said...


Incidentally - very poor show if you google "what no i dont"; I dont know why.

Valentina said...

I live in Italy so my google search is different...I was looking for something interesting about my bad cardiac problem with " heartache"...I found your page. I don't know how, but I've found your page ... maybe Jake will be my only chance to survive ... before surgery I will come in the U.S. to look for:) sorry for my bad bad english :)

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