I THINK IT'S TIME WE ALL TRIED TO BE BETTER PEOPLE

Our Lord Saviour, Jake, has come to guide us all in the right direction, (about time, I was getting seriously lost in the sinful jungle). I was reading an article, can't remember which, in which Jake expressed a wish that all his fan sites should draw attention to the causes he supports. Well, anything I can do to support you Jake, er, I mean the needy and improverished.

Let us first look at ROCK THE VOTE. Now I don't really care if Americans vote or not but Jake apparently does and I have the feeling that he might want you to vote Democrat but don't quote me on that. I spent ages looking for a banner or button that I could put on here to truly show I'm not shallow but I couldn't find one so screw 'em and their campaign. Let's enjoy a nice picture of Jake instead...

Moving onto College Summit. This is a non-profit organisation that helps poor kids go to college except they don't call them poor, they call them "low-income". Aren't all students low-income?

Now Jake himself has admitted he's a hypocrite as he bangs on about global warming but drives around in a Mercedes Benz so please don't think me the bitch when I point out the irony with this particular cause. Didn't Jake, born into fair affluence with many opportunities, drop out of university because he couldn't be bothered anymore? Tut, tut, tut. Maybe he feels guilty. He should. I'd also like to point out that this organisation likes to shine "a light on talent that would otherwise be overlooked." What about the kids with no discernable talent? Don't they get a chance? You really can't start a charity and then get all elitist about who you help out. Looks like the white trash and ghetto kids without Mensa membership are going to have to go back to making that rap music...

Next up, the American Civil Liberities Union (ACLU). They would like you to keep America "Safe and Free in times of crisis". I think you should keep it clean too. They say, "Our rights as individuals -- the very foundation of our great democracy -- depend on our willingness to defend them, and as an ACLU member, you'll be doing your part."
Can I just say, and I don't mean to generalise, but people seem obssessed with defending things in the US. Freedom, liberty, democracy. Who do they think is going to steal them? Leprechauns in the night? (ed note: I've just been reminded by my politically aware and can I just say, beautiful commenters, that one George W. Bush is eroding away America's liberties and should probably be stopped. I apologise for my throwaway remarks but when you think about it, he does sorta resemble a leprechaun, no?). Anyway, back to matter at hand, here is Jake giving a speech at an ACLU Freedom concert. I'm not sure what he said and I don't know why he's waving a laptop around but isn't he all powerful and sexy?

Jake also spreads his love to:

• War without End? Not in our name. (NION)
• Artists United WWW
• Future Forests

Well now you've rocked with democracy, sent a hobo to Yale and defended your liberties from tiny mythological Irish creatures, I think you can relax. In the words of Ryan Jarman, "I'm a modest guy, I can sit back and be content knowing that I don't need the recognition. It's just nice to know you've made a little bit of difference."