Now, as we all know, Jake is oft stalked by some neophyte lurker, some greenhorner not yet granted entry into the Academy of Stalkemia for their slack ways and general unclassiness. We've taken time out of our own busy 'observation' schedules to assess and defame these brazen charlatans and call them out for their reckless behaviour. But which, over this year of the Lord just past, was your favourite? Should I rephrase that? Which posed the greatest danger or which was just too, too obvious?
Put that egg to one side you gluttonous fool and wipe the smears of coco goodness from your lips as we once again partake in the great Sunday Project (Copyright 2007. All Rights Reserved. Bitches).
A. THE TRACK RUNNER OF OBLIVION
She pretended to be jogging. She wore a cap...TO COVER THE LIES!
Refresh your memory...
B. DEATH CAB FOR UGLY
Taxi for Mr Gyllenhaal? UNLIKELY!
Refresh your memory...
C. HANNIBAL DOGTER
Playing to Jake's weakness. SICKENING!
Refresh your memory...
D. THE GOLDEN FIEND
Mightily clever but the facial expressions gave it away. SMARMY!
Refresh your memory...
E. THE SEAGULL OF MALEVOLENCE
Just...blatant. BLATANT!
Refresh your memory...
Please consider the above options carefully and come to an informed decision. Then you may return to your calories.
