Wednesday, May 31, 2006

BLATANT STALKING #4

Interesting technique, my golden friend. On the one hand I can see you've gone to a lot of effort to stalk the Gyllenhaal - attended Oscar statue academy, trained for years in the art of being a statue, got your big chance when you where hand selected for this year's awards. I bet you couldn't believe your luck when the Gyllenhaal wandered right in front you, posing for those cameras and cutting a dash. Kudos to you, my kinetically challenged pal. But wait a bleedin' minute, it's not the professinal job it first appears to be! Look more closely at the face. Do I detect a smirk? Did someone lose their stoic composure and get a little over-excited at the mere presence of the Gyllenhaal? And that attempt to hide yourself between the ferns can only be described as pathetic! Oh yes, I can see you for what you really are, you poor man's C3P0, a BLATANT STALKER! Take him away!

32 comments:

Linna said...

LOL!!

julia said...

I think it's a miracle he's still standing!!

I would pass out if Jakey would stand so close to me, for sure.
I mean, look at him, God, he's so sweet...

beskyddaren said...

"...you poor man's C3P0, a BLATANT STALKER!"
LMAO!!! That was brilliant!!!

cina said...

LMAO!!!

tankergirl said...

Look at him clutching his staff with nervous excitement. And do I detect a slight head turn in Jake's direction? Poor, poor form. Shameless, really.
He's using every last morsel of self control to keep from reaching out to touch that majestic shock of rich brown hair. I know, I know, Oscar. I've been there. Just keep your mouth shut & your hands tucked in. And breathe; breathe him in.

queenscroft said...

What's with the intense expression on Jake's face? He looks pretty uncomfortable being so close to Mr Blatant Stalker.

br33n said...

" What's with the intense expression on Jake's face? He looks pretty uncomfortable being so close to Mr Blatant Stalker."

He can probably sense Oscar undressing him with his eyes, that intense, longing gaze on his back...

No wonder he looks uncomfortable!

SCG said...

Funny!...We all Know Brokeback was robbed. At least Jake got a well desevered BAFTA! Thanks England... I think that's the award show "we" over here should be tuned to. The Oscars are a over produced politial farce.. I only watched after many many years...to see Jake. And was disappoint yet again at the result. Love the picture!

Nothing Really Matters said...

Maybe our lovely golden friend should have used more foliage!

Anonymous said...

If our golden friend really has a thing for Jake, then why did he end up clutched within Clooney's sweaty palms, looking on smugly while Clooney said how proud he was not to be in touch? And why did he snub "Brokeback Mountain" for that travesty that I'd prefer to call "Trash"? Was it all jealousy, because the little golden stalker was spurned by Jake at the nominees' luncheon?

beskyddaren said...

^^ LOL!! Conspiracy theories, gotta love them! That sad bastard Oscar, shame on you!!!

Tany said...

Now, that's just too funny!

zoo said...

Hahahaha very good BPB. I want to attend Oscar statue academy, too, who knows what the future might bring...

ANON 6:30: How did Jake snub Our Golden Friend at the nominees' luncheon? Is that the one he didn't go to? Is that why he didn't get the Oscar do you think?

Anna said...

So, Oscar didn't get to go home with Jake after the luncheon, and because of that he wouldn't go home with him after the awards ceremony?

(Though, to tell you the truth, it would have been a hard choice for me to Jake - George C. Jake would have won in the end, of course, but still; a difficult decision...)

Kokoro said...

BWAHAHAHAHAHHAA!

Hill said...

LMAO...I've long hated Kirsten, thought I'd hunt down that snowboarder chick and KILL her (before I found out it was all a sham and breathed a very deep sigh of relief) and thought for a moment I may have to hunt down and woound a certain male basketball game companion, but I've never taken it to THIS extreme before!

I. Love. It.

britpopbaby said...

Can you kill Oscar statues? Maybe you just have to dismantle them?

see you said...

Just so very sexy! The guy in the front, I mean!

The other one.. melt him! That's an order!

Anonymous said...

This has nothing to do with the oscar statue but head on over to www.pinkisthenewblog.com for some new pics of jake & maggie during memorial day!

jla said...

Damn that was hilarious Brit!! Statues are not immune to the charms of Jake "The Sex" Gyllenhaal! We are all susceptible to his manly wiles!

jla said...

Damn that was hilarious Brit!! Statues are not immune to the charms of Jake "The Sex" Gyllenhaal! We are all susceptible to his manly wiles!

Dangerous Woman said...

Bahhh... who cares about oscars ...
How many movies own oscars awards and actually nobody remember their names?
How many actors didn't own oscars awards and became legends? I remember James Dean, John Garfield ( Body & Soul ), Charles Chaplin...
Keep going Jake. All cinema lovers appreciate your work and dedication, I'm sure.

By the way, for those who loves cinema and photography look at Gregory Colbert work. It's amazing. Hope see it in Europe soon.

http://www.ashesandsnow.org

britpopbaby said...

Thanks for the tip, anon. See I knew building this network of stalkers would pay off.

And yeah, I lost all respect for the Oscars in 1998. Titanic? Please.

britpopbaby said...

Or was it '97? Either way, Titanic sucked.

britpopbaby said...

Just checked that Ashes & Snow link, dangerous woman - how stunning. I'm completely in love with elephants and those images just blew me away. Thanks for showing us that!

debaser said...

HAHAA. good one

claire said...

why do i always laugh when you call him 'the Gyllenhaal'?

squallcloud said...

*spits cranberry juice*

Katie of Sweden said...

Heeeee... took me like 3 days to understand WHO was the blatant stalker here.. the statue... bawhahaa

dalloway said...

So that's what we should do! get dressed in a golden armure, get lost through the real ones and when Jake appears on the red carpet, walk along with him! he won't realize, he'll just think it's another statue!! hmmm...smart..very smart..

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