Because Sunday is that day where you listlessly wander around the house with nothing more do to than dread the arrival of Monday I've decided to devise a project to help keep us all busy for at least five minutes. This Sundays task is to help pick a partner for Jake because he's obviously unable to do it for himself. (Note that yourself is not an option because sometimes we just have to live in the real world.)
A. Send him back to Kirsten.
Some people are a fan of the Dunster and would love nothing more, than prehaps world peace and a chance with Jake themselves, to see these hip young indie lovebirds reunited. I, on the otherhand, would rather let Ashton Kutcher stick a fork in my eye.
B. Have a go with Natalie.
They've been friends for years; is it possible for it to go any deeper? Let's just move V for Vendetta aside for one moment and concentrate on how beautiful and talented she is. Their kids would so go to an Ivy League college!
C. Evangeline Lily
I know Jake's probably never even met her and she's in love with a hobbit but she is just sooooooooooooo amazingly hot! I even wish she was my girlfriend and I'm straight (mostly).
D. Austin.
Because, what the hell, it would be so damn cute.
E. Teri Hatcher.
The experience of an older woman and hey, she'll fuck anyone. She's probably tried already.
MORE SUNDAY PROJECTNESS:
The Next Move?
Pick A Pet
A New Cause?
27 comments:
I had the opportunity to meet Natalie Portman in person a few months ago. And I was amazed by her beauty. She had no make up on, was wearing jeans, a t-shirt and converse sneakers and looked stunning. She is a real beauty. But I'm not sure if she and Jake are meant for each other. I don't know them, but Natalie strike me as an adventurer kind of person, who dares to travel on her own and meet strangers. Jake seems to be always hanging out either with people he has known forever or celebrities like him and his two dogs, of course. I always wonder why doesn't he travel to Europe or the rest of the world on his free time. Maybe he does, but paparazzis are always taking picture of him hanging in LA or New York.
Natalie! She would be perfect to bring him out of that shell he lives in. He seems to hang out with the same people, he is A-list now, time to meet new people JAke!
Thank you, Happy Easter!
Wow! You guys are quick off the mark. I've been fiddling around with the banner and colour scheme, what do you think??
Blues and purples or coffee and creams?
Natalie!
Between those, Kiki or Austin.
My personal choice is Keira Knightley (for more of Chantelle's love *completely non-sexual* for Keira Knightley, head over to IMDB).
Austin! Though, I wouldn't mind Natalie either.
In the perfect almost too ideal world, he would go with natlie, the smart, beuatiful, dorky-cute one, bu the truth is...he doesn't seems to like that type of girl.. I thikn it was during the Bafta's red carpet interview that when women interviewing him say "hollywood women is smart these days, they all go to Harvard or something" (obviously thinking about Natlie since how many hollywood starlets goes to Harvard) and he interrupts and say in a disdain manner, "Well, I don't know if going to Harvard proves that they are smart or anything"
It kind of makes me feel that he is not into the smart women...even though he is the "thinking women's men."
makes me sad.
so.. yea.. AUSTIN (KiKi is fine too if she truly makes him happy..provoded that she doesn't break his heart AGAIN.)
EVANGELINE LILLY, hands down! She must be the most stunningly pretty girl I have ever seen. God I wish I had her pretty face. Plus she needs to dump that hobbit of hers.
And I love the banner btw!
Leave the hobbit alone! He is funny and... well, he was a hobbit. That's enough to put him in my book of cool (I am apparently a "Pervy Hobbit Fancier©").
And #2... the Philip Seymour Hoffman is a woman convo?? I be confused...
I loved the Harvard comment but didn't take it as a slight to smart women; just as a rejection of the elitist notion that if you go to an Ivy League school you are smarter or better than anyone else. You can be brilliant and not have attended an Ivy League school or even attended college at all.
Damn it! I was going to put Keira Knightley in but then I got all distracted by the outside world and forgot! Oh well, she's too busy with her bit of posh Rupert Friend.
What's wrong with Teri Hatcher?; a bit of experience never did any harm and don't forget...he didn't look like he was acting when jenny from the bedroom block was all over him in the good girl!
If it can't be me, then I nominate Zooey Deschanel!
Jake needs to mix it up and choose someone quirky & stylish. I know he loves Kirtsen, but
#1) she takes him for granted and
#2) I just can't bear anymore pix of those fugly outfits. She & Maggie are bad for each other!
And how cute wereJake & Zooey co-hosting the Sundance Awards? He can get off on the Salinger quotient, too.
I started to reply to 8:49 but then saw that 10:08 already said it perfectly. I would add that 1. going to that fancy rich-kid school, he probably knows first hand that that is practically a guarantee of getting into a darned good university, as long as you are of reasonable intelligence, and 2. Jake didn't finish school; it just wasn't his bag.
*stab of jealousy* How about [i]none[/i] of them???
Austin, please.
Not Keira, not Kiki.
Thank-you JakeWatch - make it so!
AUSTIN!
Failing that, Natalie is a good choice too.
I'm going to have to tally it up soon, I think Natalie is winning!
Not Austin please... Ok someone has to say this, Austin is so ugly! I prefer seeing Jake with a girl, but if it has to be a boy, please find someone better. Oh, and Kill Dill!
I so agree. Austin is beyond FUG. EW!!! Have you seen his face? He looks like a gorilla. Gross.
I perfer Jake with girls so if I had to pick it would be Natalie. They're both jewish, smart, good looking, funny and down to earth. Perfect pair.
I was going to say Austin, because he's the only dude on the list, but it's true, Jake could find better.
1. Heath
2. Zooey Deschanel
Natalie is stunning. And very bright too. Speaks 5 lingos y'know? She would definitely be able to hold her own against the Gyllenhaal. And he would have to be able to hold his own...ok I'll stop there..
Ian, ew. Austin is fine for Bi!Jake - at least they seem to laugh like idiots at the same thing. For having beautiful kids, Natalie wins out. But Natalie and Jake Mom might butt heads, both being strong Jewish women.
Jake and Austin are as compatible as Beavis and Butthead. Now, that's love.
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