Monday, October 01, 2007

Jake Watch Exclusive: More Info on The Gyllenhaal's Album

It seems that there are those out there amongst the interwebs who think that the story we ran last week about Jake releasing an album was false. Oh, naysayers of little faith, I guess you did not realize that we are Jake Watch and Jake Watch knows all. As if we'd ever lead you astray! While there is no official release date set, we did get our hands on an early prototype of the press kit (we're connected), and here's what we found inside...

What an album cover...check out the tiny Abraham Lincoln!

A full song list wasn't available, but we can confirm that Jake will be covering:

- "Comrades, I Am Dying!" (1864) Dance remix being consider by Tiesto (we haven't been able to confirm).

- "The New Emancipation Song" (1864) Produced by Timbaland.

- "Brave Boys Are They!" (1861) Produced by Timbaland.

- "Ashokan Farewell" (1982) New spoken word section composed by Kanye West (confirmed).

- "Battle Hymn of the Republic" (1861) Guest vocalist MIMS (glory, glory, hallelujah, muthafucka!).

We can also confirm that the album notes are being composed by Ken Burns. Burns has been friends with the Gyllenhaals ever since an 8-year-old Jake dug up a piece of scrap metal in his yard and mistook it for a Confederate bullet. Burns made a personal visit to the family home to explain the Mason-Dixon line, instilling in Jake a lifelong interest in 19th century muskets.

Though Jake has not spoken much about his motivation, he did exclusively tell Jake Watch that he hoped this project would revive the traditional war ballads he has always held dear to his heart. While the use of modern hip-hop artists to accentuate an acoustic album of songs written during America's Civil War may seem a little unorthodox, insiders are already buzzing that the unique approach just might make Gyllenhaal the next big name in music.

Thanks to nice anon for the tip on Burns.


DKBB said...

Brilliant! It'll definitely be on my iPod playlist. ;) (um, well, if I had an iPod it would be....).

Anonymous said...

Oh, sweet Lord Gawd A'mighty!!! I haven't laughed so long and so loud...We're talking a computer screen. We're talking jump out of your chair and walk it off for a couple of minutes, so you can come back and finish it.Go get a tissue to wipe the tears streaming down your cheeks, funny. This has to be the absolute most hilarious piece I have EVER read on JW. EVER. And probably among THE top ten funniest blogs. Shit.

Having said that, I am extremely impressed by Jake's song selections and even more by the artists he's collaborating with. An acoustic hip hop/rap album will be quite an achievement.

I think the music world is holding its breath as we speak. If there be any doubters left out there,once this drops (music industry jargon) they will be replaced by shouters of "Amen!"

I am in no doubt they will probably have to create an entirely new award for this CD. An entirely new category won't be enough. PG. One question. Which directors will they be using to shoot the videos? I hope they will not use live rounds when they do.(Avoid Brian De Palma!) Those Civil War Re-enactors can get pretty damned authentic. Maybe they should just use regular actors who know how to fake it really well.

Sam said...

Oh my god, PG, i can only imagine whats going to happen now! LOL

I love who he is teaming up with, i mean Mims, Kanye (not 50Cent?! hmmm i think Jakeys taking sides!) and Timberland. He couldnt have a better bunch of people helping him. This is going to be a hit i feel it in me waters! HAHA

Nothing Really Matters said...

Oh darling thank you so much for this information!

You're so on top form these days!

Xenia said...

This is brilliant PG!!:D

It's scary though that some statement that is SO out of the blue and proclaimed on a blog which has CLEARLY humouristic purpose is accepted as THE TRUTH without any kind of judgment...

Don't you check the riability of the sources people before spreading some news on the Net?
I dunno, it seems so absurd to me...

But damn the post is fun!!:D

Anonymous said...

PG, I'm always happy to pass on a hot tip about Jake's career or public appearances to the keepers & fellow agents at Jake Watch. :-D

Becky Heineke said...

^^^ I couldn't not use it! It was brilliant. :D

bobbyanna, I think that was the best comment in the history of Jake Watch. You make me feel SO much better about the hour I spent laughing while doing the album cover (I'm my own best audience). I mean, it's not even a funny cover! But then again, the concept, and the fact that people think this is REAL, has basically had me in stitches for 72 hours straight. ;D

No word yet on the directors; but I will let you know. Fortunate for Jake, I live where there is no shortage of re-enactors! He should be so happy he has me...

And Sam, Fiddy is on the short list. It's still so early in the game, I didn't want to reveal EVERYTHING I know. I really think this might be the most star-studded hip-hop/acoustic Civil War album ever produced.

Cherita said...

the most star-studded hip-hop/acoustic Civil War album ever produced


I have to say, as impressed as I am by the track list, it's the cover art that really bowled me over. What a masterpiece of commercial art! I can almost hear the acoustic/hiphop strains as my heart swells with patriotic pride.

So I guess it's pretty much given that Jake will be performing when he makes his official acceptance of the Democratic nomination. The only question is, which tune will he choose? Damn, such a long time to wait!

Anonymous said...

Bwahaha! PG, I bow down to your creative genius! This had me LOLing and marveling at your master skills at cover art. And the rap guest appearances is s stroke of brilliance! ;D

Anonymous said...

somebody told me there's gonna be a duet with Heath..?

heddaparsons said...

Best album cover ever, LOL!

Definately one of the funniest JW posts, glad to hear that Fiddy is on your short list PG!!

phoebe said...


OMG I think you killed me with this one, PG!! I couldn't even breathe, I was laughing so hard!

-"Battle Hymn of the Republic" (1861) Guest vocalist MIMS (glory, glory, hallelujah, muthafucka!).

Freaking HILARIOUS!!! And don't even get me started on the album cover!

Now. Where do I pre-order this beauty?!

BirdGirl said...

Yeah I herd that Jake and Heath will be doing the theme from An Officer and a Gentleman (Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong). :)

Spot on PG! I love it!

Anonymous said...

tiny Abraham Lincoln! LOL:P

cina said...

Jesus Christ!!!


I swear this really is the funniest shit ever! This is already a classic, I tell you that PG. A CLASSIC!!!

cina said...

- "Battle Hymn of the Republic" (1861) Guest vocalist MIMS (glory, glory, hallelujah, muthafucka!).

*howls with laughter*

Anonymous said...

I heard nothing about a duet with Heath ... but I did hear that Britney is scheduled to make a guest appearance on one track. She thinks something acoustic & y'know patriotic & Southern will help her make her comeback. It will be a whole new Britney. (And Jake always has liked blondes anyway.)

Anonymous said...

PG. Did you see how in my whole third paragraph I was rhyming???" doubters" and "shouters?" THAT'S how moved I was. This is shaping up nicely. This will blow every single other presidential candidate out of the water. Totally.

BirdGirl said...

I just hope that he has herd about this and is getting a kick out of it.

Anonymous said...

wow.......i simple CANNOT wait. :)

and glad to see you go jakey on SNL up! yaaay :D

Anonymous said...

This is the best idea ever!!!!

Anonymous said...

Lots of news!

Jake on Letterman, 10/15 and on Conan, 10/16

Variety-Natalie Portman officially signs onto "Brothers"

Anonymous said...

2:50PM: Thanks! It's also posted on the JW forum on the Rendition and Brothers threads. It's interesting so far that he is sticking with the East coast shows for PR like he did for Zodiac (with the exception of Jonatahn Ross in the UK on the 12th)

cina said...

WOW! Jake-week revisited! =D (kind of)


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