I'll tell ya something, there's nothing easy about Sunday mornings here at JW HQ. Inbetween my gluten-free museli and Earl Grey I often stumble across another great injustice of the world that I feel must be righted straight away by the unstable and inaccurate voting system we operate around here.
Today's travesty: Jake has won countless awards (7) and that's all fine and dandy, but what about all the awards he has missed out on? Obviously he should have won them all in the first place but I only have the resources to right one wrong at a time. So please, take this opportunity to decide which trophy Jake should have had bestowed upon him but he didn't (and in some cases wasn't even nominated for, bastards.)
A. REAR OF THE YEARDon't be alarmed! It's a British thing. A glass ball to celebrate who has the best arse (annually). I'm sure if Jake had won this award he would have hopped straight on the plane to Milton Keynes and accepted it with his usual grace.
B. SPECTACLE WEARER OF THE YEAR AWARDOkay, so Jake NEVER wears glasses but he did once, for like a minute, in Proof and lo it was good.
C. MTV MOVIE AWARD FOR BEST FIGHT 2006Er, hello? There was a lasso and everything!
D. SHEPHERD OF THE YEAR AWARDThe
Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival seem to have rather conviently omitted Jack Nasty from this tournamnet, instead choosing to honour Sissy Spacek and Old Blue. WTF? It's because he's gay, isn't it?
E. PUGGLE OWNER OF THE YEAR AWARDI may or may not have just invented this award.
F. THE JAKE WATCH AWARD FOR BEST JAKE GYLLENHAALOh, wait, Jake did win that one!
32 comments:
As a fellow specky, I'm going for Spectacle Wearer of the Year. And if the only competition they can come up with is one of the clones from Atomic Kitten, I have a feeling he could walk it.
P.S. Who is that girl in the Rear of The Year photo? Cos I was a guest judge once and I never voted for her rear.
Rear of the Year (ROTY) is 25 years old I'll have you know.
I will have to go for the Puggle Owner of the Year Award...I wonder who remembers that what Boo is chewing on is an effigy of George W Bush?!
Another specky here, so of course I vote for Spectacle Wearer of the Year.
And I just love that picture of Boo chewing on George W Bush!!
Oh to be that sheep in Jake's arms. My God look how tenderly he is gazing at that animal. Those are great pictures and posts, BritPop, Thank You
He should get all of these awards. And more. But I believe there's one here that he particularly deserves. I think that, comparatively speaking, this site is guilty of neglecting Jake's ass. In fact, the back view of Jake is like a splendid, still-unexplored continent, waiting for our attention. Between "Jarhead" and "Brokeback Mountain," Jake's ass was one of the highlights of the 1995 movie-going experience. He's so spectacular frontwards from the neck up -- and also from the neck down -- that we tend to forget his taut little pair of cheeks. I prefer seeing them encased within tight-fitting Western denims -- which serve as a well-crafted frame for a stunning work of art. Also, there is that one surfboard picture, where he's wearing the light-blue shorts, crouched over & bending forward a little from the knees, that just stops my heart. For that picture alone, he should win with a comfortable margin to spare.
(Now I need to calm down & head off for brunch ...)
I have to emphasize, again, that I also admire his acting ability & his political activism. ;-)
Thank god Jake doesn't get his specs from the Specsavers.
"Rear of the Year (ROTY) is 25 years old I'll have you know."
Then it seems even more fitting that Jake recieve that award.
that one is easy. best arse, of course.
i can just imagine the ceremony. guh.
the picture with the sheep is so cute. it's my second choice.
E. PUGGLE OWNER OF THE YEAR AWARD
Yay is has to be this one! That puggle is so sweet!
That puggle is so sweet!
the owner is no too bad neither
^^ Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! If I ever make a quotes page that baby is going on it.
brits, i hope you don't mind but i counted our yesterday's votes for cleanshaven versus wolverine jake. smoothies win!!! with 19 votes against 16 with 18 votes for either way and 25 off topic comments (about age, jake-sex-dreams and assorted weirdness)
soclean shaven jake weee-hooo
i feel strange for doing that
I vote for the Wolverine look!
smoothies win!!!
You lie! No matter, I have a leather catsuit and squall on my side - I am indestructable.
You lie!
ha, you wish!!!
we could mud wrestle over it if you want. but i wouldn't if i were you. i fight dirty, especially if the stakes are so high
so there
i repeat: smoothes win
Well he's the obvious Rear of the Year champion, but I do love the way he's looking down at Boo for the Puggle Dad of the Year, and the fact that he would give him a Bush doll to chew to pieces is perfect and makes me love him even more!
I honestly don't know what we'd do without you to point this stuff out to us. I do think that Jake should win hands down on the best arse award, that man can shake his booty like no one elses business.
and as a fellow eyeglass wearer (though I wear mine more than Jake) he looks hot in those specks.
but I think rear of the year should be his every year!
any more awards you can think of? Cause people might leave Jake out as sexiest man alive again
I love them all but you forgot Walker of the Year. No one does walking and stepping off curbs better than Jake. Oh and yes, it's all about the smoothies...
I would have said best owner of a puggle,because both of them are true beauties and they look just perfect together. But..I'm not satisffied with the way the owner treats the puggle.I mean..how long has it been since we last saw them out and about? too long.
So..I have to pick MTV Award for best fight scene. That WAS the best fight ever. Seriously,it has everything..violence,sexual tension,great background,dirty jeans..
Well my favorite celeb booty is Beyonce's because it looks like cake yum. So I say he should have won best fight WTF MTV??? There was wrastlin, the mistaken bloodying of a nose, and The Shirts of Interlocking Souls what could be better?
OMG I just had a scary thought. I have seen, or should I say WE have seen, almost ALL of this man's body in the flesh. On screen of course, but still......
The only unseen part, covered by a santa hat.
This came to me as I was watching Moonlight Mile, AGAIN, and saw the bottoms of his bare feet goung out the window.
I've got to find something else to do with my spare time.
Great Sunday project. It's almost impossible to vote but I will have to say as first choice, the best fight, with the best rear of the year a close second.
Oh I've always had plans for a JW awards ceremony but obviously it has to be held in awards season, Jan-March. Should we go before the Oscars and steal their glory or bask in the afterglow?
What are those huge papers that he's holding in the Puggle Award picture?
I vote Best Spectacle Wearer. Guys in glasses are cute, and it's nice to see someone unafraid of looking a little nerdy.
Oh, dear. I'm embarrassed. You're right, 2005, not 1995. (Sigh.) Where did all the time go?
But all will agree, I'm sure, it's an ass those impact could most definitely be felt for a decade or more.
(Not to mention his acting talent and concern for social causes. Jake, I'm going to vote, I promise.)
Wow this is a tough choice-I'm gone a couple of days and have to decide over Wolverine Jake or clean shaven Jake (I pick Wolverine) and now this. Well I guess the shallow option would definately be rear of the year cos thanks to Jarhead we all know he is worthy! But as a specs wearer also I like the idea of having that in common with him...scrap that its ass all the way!!
I vote for best fight, definately! The lasso is better than guns and stuff anyday!
I think Jake's is the finest ass I've ever seen. I don't think it should be limited to Rear of the Year. I think Best Ass Ever! is the only fair way to go here.In fact, I feel that way about all the categories mentioned...as well as those not mentioned...
I'll vote for the Puggle Award, because its' a cutesy thing.
What glory?- they blew it last year and they are now on the out. We will be the replacement for the Oscars- far more glorious and entertaining. JW rules!
I'll second your words, Joyce! We have here more glamour and less silicone.
Happy Birthday,Kendra!! May you and Jake Weird have a happy,long life!!Cheers,hun!
The Puggles..lol! Instead of the Oscar buzz there will be the Puggle buzz..
nice anonymous said...
"Between 'Jarhead' and 'Brokeback Mountain' Jake's ass was one of the highlights of the 1995 movie-going experience."
Wow, his ass made you forget ten years of time
Brit says:
^^ Ha ha ha ha ha ha!! If I ever make a quotes page that baby is going on it.
Okay that was knee slapping gafawing fun. I just wanted to inform you ladies that I have taken this quote and made it my sig at the DC. God I love this place!
Also Brit you used to have quotes on the sidebar I remember because you used one of mine. *smiles* I think you should start that up again JUST so you can put this quote up. LOVE.
I'd say best fight: specifically the one the picture is from, which is NOT the one involving the lasso, but the one when Aguirre is watching from a distance... Because: ... we all know how it ends up though Ang Lee cuts it short (dammit!) Lucky horse in the background!
Post a Comment