Tuesday, March 06, 2007

EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO CALL EVERYONE I HAVE EVER MET RIGHT NOW!!!!

OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!! SQUEEEEEEE!!!! I was, like, reading the paper, OK. No, really! I read! So, I was, like, reading, right? And I flipped open to this one page and I almost, like, passed out right there on the floor because I saw the name "Jake G," like, right there in the middle of the page. OMG, breathe. Breathe. So, I was, like, OMG, I, like, have to read this article right now! Right? Like, right now. So I read it, and I swear to Gawd, I, like, almost fell over dead right there.

HERE it is.

JAKE BUYING UNDERWEAR!!! JAKE, LIKE, FREAKING STANDING IN A STORE BUYING FREAKING UNDERWEAR?!?! Can you believe he, like, buys underwear?!?!?!?!??! I would die. OMG. Just thinking about, like, what I would do if I was in the store, makes me want to die. And if I was there, I would die. I would, like, fall over dead. And DIE! Just thinking about him, like, holding underwear in his hands, like, makes feel all light-headed and stuff. Like, underwear that he might actually put on. OMG. I gotta stop. I'm, like, dead. No, but one more thing, because I, like, got on the computer and found a picture of the store. Are you ready? I mean, are you, like, really ready, because you are going to die once I show this to you. OMG, this is the store where Jake G was buying underwear:

DEAD!

Editor's Note: Yes, this is the same Kitty Fangirl as starred opposite Jake Gyllenhaal in the winter hit of 2007, The Day After Tomorrow Never Dies. As I'm sure is becoming clear, PG took some liberties with her character when committing Kitty to paper...much as she did everyone else in the film. Kitty seems kinda...flakey or something. But we're going to let her blog for us every now and again anyway.

36 comments:

KayDee said...

Just thinking about him, like, holding underwear in his hands, like, makes feel all light-headed and stuff. Like, underwear that he might actually put on. OMG.

i would be more light-headed if i imagined that he doesn't put any underwear on, like ever. OMG

hmmmmmm

veeveevee said...

Kitty seems kinda...flakey or something.

Kinda?

Glad to have you, Kitty. You might want to consider switching to decaf. ;-)

Anonymous said...

OMG!OMG! I was IN that store!!! I cannot believe this! I was actually IN THAT STORE. That very one. About five years ago....Kitty seems just fine to me!

smurfette said...

hmmm... i have to say, from the JW movie, especially by the end, our heroine kitty appeared a lot more calm and rational than this fangirl here-- are we sure this is really her? or did PG take artistic license in the movie to make her less fangirly than she really is to make her more likeable? these are questions i pose for the JW team ;)

ncwoman said...

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!

That was, like, so hilarious!!

phoebe said...

^^ Oh, so totally!!

LMFAO!! Hysterical!

Prophecy Girl said...

What? You mean you guys don't talk like that? Because Kitty and I have, like, THE most awesome conversations. ;) Snort.

No, she actually started out pretty normal...but then she met Jake. No one really knows what happened at the party after the trial, but she was just never the same after that. And even before that, I may have swapped some of her personality traits with Jake's...artistic license and entertainment value and all that... She's a tad more, erm, enthusiastic in real life than she came off in the movie. ;)

Nothing Really Matters said...

OMG!

veeveevee said...

No, she actually started out pretty normal...but then she met Jake.

Isn't that the exact description of what has happened to us all??

;-)

cina said...

PG, make sure we have a large stock of Valium at the JW Headquarters, ok? Kitty seems in desperate need of some, or I fear she'll go into convulsions.

But seriously, like, how cool is that?! Like, Jake buying underwear! OMG! It's like sooo exciting I'm gonna die. Like, really! *squeee*

cina said...

Apparently this is what he ended up buying. Isn't that, like, SO HOT? I'm like, freaking out!! Like, seriously!

Local Celebrity said...

I was just going to mention this, if someone hadn't already done so. I read this on celebritynation and instantly freaked out in a happy sort of way. It's so cute and amusing, but mainly cute and makes me smile.

Anonymous said...

Now...if somebody had caught him buying SOCKS....that would knock the situation in Iraq right off the front page wouldn't you say??

Kitty Fangirl said...

Cina, that link, like, killed me. No. I'm not even kidding. I am, like, dead right now and I don't even know how I'm typing this. Just, like, damn.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the link. I need to know. What are "performance briefs"?????

On another note, I read somewhere, that people who are really decisive and make important decisions regularly often have trouble deciding on a menu selection or on what kind of underwear to buy. So, in RL, Jake must be like REALLY decisive. Either that or he lost a contact and couldn't see. But seriously. What are "performance briefs" ???

Anonymous said...

It should be fairly clear, I would think. Performance briefs are for...erm....performers.

smurfette said...

And even before that, I may have swapped some of her personality traits with Jake's...artistic license and entertainment value and all that...

what?! no! PG, you mean jake in RL isn't EXACTLY as he appears in the JW movie? hehe. am i the only one who thought the doofy, clueless jake was kind of a turn-on =P?

cina said...

Cina, that link, like, killed me. No. I'm not even kidding. I am, like, dead right now and I don't even know how I'm typing this. Just, like, damn.

I know!!! It's, like, so the hottest thing, like, ever!!

KayDee said...

Breathable performance mesh fabric keeps you cool and dry

snort

Kendra said...

I am, like, dead right now and I don't even know how I'm typing this.

We feel your pain (pleasure), Kitty. And oh, Cina, that vision of the Pro Mesh Boxer Briefs could interrupt your sleep tonight.

Prophecy Girl said...

PG, you mean jake in RL isn't EXACTLY as he appears in the JW movie?

Well, I guess I can't really say since I wouldn't know personally... *sends a pointed look towards the east*

Snicker.

smurfette said...

^^ and also because you're only allowed to see him from behind, apparently =P. poor girl. hey, at least from behind is better than nothing, right? (i'm referring to myself here ;)

girls, you're killing me here-- mesh underwear?! hahaha...

Anonymous said...

7:04 here. OK. So mesh fabric is "breathable..." etc. but what does "performance" describe? And the thing is, Jake was going back to Morocco and maybe he needed something particular for that climate. Or maybe he was so rushed to get to NYC he didn't have time to pack properly...OMG!! I would have loved to have shared a plane ride with him!!!!!

JW fan1 said...

what happened to Brit Pop Baby? I have'nt seen her post lately. Is she still a part of JW?

welliwont said...

^^^ BPB is still kidnapped, she is in Mexico we think. I think Number Six is thwarting her rescue, but no matter how many times I bring it up, all the other Agents just ignore.

S4M985 said...

like omg, that was so like, omg, so fucken hallarious...!!!!

dottieb said...

In that description of the performance boxer briefs, what do they mean by "'almost' full bottom coverage"?

Anonymous said...

7:04 here again. See! That description of the CK briefs raises more questions than it answers. "almost full bottom coverage..." Breathable fabric.
"performance briefs..." Does it mean the wearer's performance will be brief???

Local Celebrity said...

I want to see him wearing them. Is there anyway we could pull that off?

welliwont said...

^^^HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!
Anon 7:04, hahhahahahahaha, are you crazy?! :p No, I doubt his performance would be brief!

Ok to be perfectly boring and serious, I suspect that the reason he may have been scrutinizing (if that story is true) all the panties is because of the sports factors in his life. Bike riding, etc. Hellooooo!

veeveevee said...

"almost full bottom coverage"??????????

mesh???????????

performance??????

That...makes...me...very...dizz....

*THUD*

Anonymous said...

OMG

If he was insecure I could help him to buy underwear.

Obvious he ´d need try to me seeing.

heddaparsons said...

Like, OMG!! I was just walking past Bloomingdales 2 weeks ago and like Jake was there buying underwear, and if I waited and went a week later I could have bumped into Jake and help him choose, OMG!!

What a silly story.

Anonymous said...

March 6, 2007 -- JAKE Gyllenhaal is way beyond the simple choice of boxers vs. briefs. A shopper in Bloomingdale's underwear department recently watched the "Brokeback Mountain" star with a salesman "combing through every style . . . A good 10 minutes later, Jake was still at it . . . holding up a pair of tight white briefs that he'd pulled out of the package to examine, as if he'd never seen tighty whities before in his entire life. It was hilarious. He looked very confused and had a furrowed brow . . . He was examining undies like an anthropologist in the city's most highly trafficked department store."

Okay I'm pissing myself laughing because I too take this much care on whatever portects my bits and pieces from the world as well. You Go JAKE!

I admire a man who cares about chaffing possibilities!

Anonymous said...

PRO MESH! speeeeeeeeeeew!

Mesh should never be saddled onto the likes of Jake.

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