Gyllenhaal Tries To Appeal To The Gun-Toting and Elephant Humping Masses

America is a nation clearly divided. Any successful candidate needs to learn to diplomatically straddle the gaping er, gap, between liberal and conservative politics. But how does Jake Gyllenhaal, raging Democrat, attempt to persuade the red states that he loves oil slicks and stirrups as much as the next Bush? With the cunning application of an oral matchstick!! Oh, baby. THIS is the kind of thinking that sets you apart from the other donkeys in the crowd.

Gyllenhaal's previous strolls into 'cowboy terrority' probably did little to win over the more ardent Republican voter, but this matchstick move harks back to the heyday of the macho man, inspired by Clint Eastwood in such films as A Fistful Of Dollars, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and Two Mules For Sister Sara.

Political commentator, Eddie Izzard, had this to say;

"The matchstick in the corner of the mouth is the eptiome of masculine cool, reminiscent of James Dean. If Jake continues with such mind-blowing political manoeuvres, he will surely win. He must be careful though as one can get too carried away and if he were to stick another matchstick in the opposite corner of his mouth he would look like a dickhead."

Images from IHJ.com, apart from Clint, who came here of his own accord.