Saturday, October 06, 2007

Gyllenhaal Tries To Appeal To The Gun-Toting and Elephant Humping Masses

America is a nation clearly divided. Any successful candidate needs to learn to diplomatically straddle the gaping er, gap, between liberal and conservative politics. But how does Jake Gyllenhaal, raging Democrat, attempt to persuade the red states that he loves oil slicks and stirrups as much as the next Bush? With the cunning application of an oral matchstick!! Oh, baby. THIS is the kind of thinking that sets you apart from the other donkeys in the crowd.

Gyllenhaal's previous strolls into 'cowboy terrority' probably did little to win over the more ardent Republican voter, but this matchstick move harks back to the heyday of the macho man, inspired by Clint Eastwood in such films as A Fistful Of Dollars, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and Two Mules For Sister Sara.

Political commentator, Eddie Izzard, had this to say;

"The matchstick in the corner of the mouth is the eptiome of masculine cool, reminiscent of James Dean. If Jake continues with such mind-blowing political manoeuvres, he will surely win. He must be careful though as one can get too carried away and if he were to stick another matchstick in the opposite corner of his mouth he would look like a dickhead."

Images from, apart from Clint, who came here of his own accord.


Sam said...

"He must be careful though as one can get too carried away and if he were to stick another matchstick in the opposite corner of his mouth he would look like a dickhead"

thats the funniest shit ive heard in ages! (well since the last post anyway :p) Thanks for making my boring saturday night at home a joyful one :)

Anonymous said...

Brit!! welcome back!!

Cherita said...

How lame is it that at first I thought Eddie really had commented about Jake and his toothpick? *giggle* Of course I recognized the clip immediately, at which point I realized what an idiot I was. But in addition to almost spitting coffee all over my monitor, you did make me feel like playing some of my Izzard DVDs this weekend.

BTW, another schedule update, and instead of that post I'm putting it here so everyone will see it. 10/16, NBC, Today show. Hope PG saved a template of her chart. ;)

Anonymous said...

good to se you brits!

BirdGirl said...

Welcome back Brit!

I don't come on for one day and I miss a lot.

I figured we would be hearing about more morning talk show appearances. Woo Hoo! The more the merrier. I just want to know how I am going to accomplish anything that week.

Becky Heineke said...

I knew it! Thanks, Cherita, and I'll get the new version up, er, soon. :)

Anonymous said...


Hi Brit!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Hi Brits.

I love Eddie!

Where exactly did you get the info that Jake loves stirrups? I have to admit the image that came to mind had more to do with my last gynacological exam than horses.

Sorry that was probably TMI. ;)

BirdGirl said...

That's pretty funny Anon 11:26. I love Jake Li. :)

heddaparsons said...


That pic of Eastwood looks like it's from A fist full of Dollars.

Anonymous said...

I needed that after the shity weekend I had, thanks BP!!

PS: I love the way Jake's campaign is shaping up.

Xenia said...

A man is not a man without a toothprick in the corner of his mouth...ah masculine, classy Jake! ;)

Hi Brit, it's nice to see you around...:)

Anonymous said...

OMG Eddie Izzard.

"One eye patch and you look really cool. Two eye patches? hellooo?. Three eye patches? now what's going on here"

Vote Jake '08