I was feeling alliterative. If the release of a Jake-related movie trailer isn't reason enough to use repetitive initial consonants, then what is? So, I was really only watching "Entertainment Tonight" because I was interested in Britney's out-of-control bodyguard, but lo and behold they happened to be premiering the Rendition trailer tonight, too. Except that was sort of a lie because it was more like they were showing a few clips from the movie while talking over everything to explain very basic plot points.
But let's pretend it was a real trailer, shall we? A run-down:
EDIT! It should be noted that within a half an hour of this being posted, the honest-to-God real trailer showed up. You can watch it HERE. Most of Jake's scenes in the trailer are the same as shown in the Entertainment Tonight "first look." Now back to my suddenly-worthless recap of the not-trailer:
0:00 - Reese looks distressed. Snap judgment: her husband in this movie is kinda hot.
0:14 - Jake shows up. He's sitting in a car. By now, we all know that's something he's good at.
0:15 - Jake walks down a hall looking important.
0:16 - Jake talks to someone in a dimly lit room.
0:17 - Jake dejectedly puts his head in his hands as if to say, "Damn, this would have been so much better if this was an actual trailer."
0:18 - Someone's shirt is being cut off, but it's not Jake's. A harbinger of how the rest of this "first look" is going to go for us.
0:25 - Jake walks importantly into a room while a shirtless man (Reese's husband, I believe) gets all weepy on us. Jake seems too manly to care.
0:31 - Sarsy shows up (DUDE, we've missed you!) to explain the title of the movie to Reese.
0:41 - The voice of Jake! I try to pay attention but I'm distracted by his massively overgrown hair and dimly lit profile.
0:45 - Holy shit! Jake goes all Tony Swofford on our asses, which is to say he grabs the shirtless man by the neck in a decidedly non-sexual manner and says, "Explain the phone calls," in an intense voice. Non-sexual for Reese's husband, perhaps, but a different story for those of us at home.
0:50 - Jake almost gets blown up in his car. I try to worry but the scene ends too quickly for me to emote.
0:52 - Jake walks down a dark hall with Reese's hubby. Voice-over guy tells us that the movie will open October 19. So either ET or IMDb is lying. Dammit! Are there never any easy answers?!
1:00 - Reese screams. Probably because this was way too short and has far too little Jake.
I should add that the segue into the Rendition "first look" involved talking about Matt Damon and Joaquin Phoenix originally being considered for the roles of Jack and Ennis (what?! no!). I shudder to think what my life would have been like if this casting disaster taken place.
I'm sure this will show up on YouTube in no time...when it does, you'd do well to ignore my time stamps as they were only rough approximations based on my crappy VCR timer.
Screencaps courtesy of Team IHJ.