Wednesday, June 13, 2007

When Jake news abounds, Jake Watch has it covered.

Jake called me last night and said, "PG, I'm sorry I never loiter outside your apartment anymore," and I was like, "It's OK, but maybe you could try to be a little more sensitive towards my feelings," and he was like, "Yeah, that's why I'm calling. I wanted to tell you that I'm on board with the Presidential thing." And I was like, "No way!" and he was like, "Way!" and I was like, "No way!" and we did that for a while until I said, "Thank God, because I already hand-pressed 2 million 'Jake in '08' buttons," and he was like, "Neat. Look, I'm doing some research right now and I'm looking at doing this play based on Howard Dean's 2004 Presidential campaign," and I was like, "Holy shit. You do love me! If you don't go through with this, I'll resign as your campaign manager."

And then Jake said, "But PG, I have even more news! I've made People Magazine's Hottest Bachelor's edition!" And I pretended to be really excited but in my mind I added People Magazine to my boycott list because they ranked McConnaughey ahead of the Gyllenhaal which pretty much puts them in the same category as Satanists and people who don't use their turn signals. Freaking McConnaughey, people! He continues to be our greatest challenge in "hot men" listing world...

Then today I was reading through some stuff by the posers over on Gawker (I think we could probably give them a run for their money when it comes to gawking and stalking; am I right?) and found out that Jake had lunch with Mario Batali which for some reason made people think he was Rock Hudson. Huh?

And last but not least, britpopbaby and I are moving into the family home in the next couple of days thanks to the overwhelming generosity of you, the readers. We raised $12.50. We're covered, though, on the $20,000 because brits sold her liver on the black market and I agreed to go without food or water for the next month.

Here's a picture of Jake wearing an Alf shirt because that just never gets old:

86 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is he really wearing that or did you do photoshop again. Bcz I just saw a picture of Patrick Dempsey in a floorlength pink formal... a gown...and I thought it was photoshopped, but it wasn't. So I was wondering. Alf is sweet. One thing tho. Please don't ever let Jake wear anything with Barney on it. Barney redefines insipid.

Becky Heineke said...

If you can't tell, then neither will I. ;)

call me cherita said...

Here's a capsule moment to show you how sad my life is: I was at the gym, on the last weight machine of my workout, when I looked up at one of the two television sets they have constantly running with closed-captions on and saw Entertainment Tonight flash something about the People thing and the words ...Matt, Blake or Jake... and a quick shot of our boy from Cannes and I got distracted. I had only done one set (out of four) and was kinda just...looking lost, I guess, because one of the staff asked if I was done so she could show this new person the machine. Of course first I had to pull my earbuds out because I had the iPod on fairly loud to drown out the horrific "music" used for the dance class and all I knew was she was looking at me with her lips moving. So anyway, at least that snapped me out of my stupor and I finished my workout but seriously considered just standing there for the next 20 minutes so I could see what the results were. I'm grateful I didn't, of course. But these are the things Jake does to me.

I apologize for the length of this rambling comment. I have no idea what I'm saying. Like a hysterical woman in a melodrama, someone needs to slap me.

Anonymous said...

WOW! No offence intended, but if BPB got close to $20,000 for her liver after that much gin, how much does a less pickled one fetch?

Anonymous said...

LMAO, Anon 2:51!

Anonymous said...

I saw a series of pictures the other day: Jake walking along and he either got a text message or a voice message.(cellphone, blackberry,???)Anyway,it must have been really good news, (maybe about the play?) bcz he got really happy. And then he realized he was out in public and he was being photoed and so he bit his lip and put his head down to try to contain it, but it was SO cute. Does anyone else know which ones I mean?

Anonymous said...

Anyone else notice the Reese chatter has stopped over the past few days?

welliwont said...
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Anonymous said...

What is the problem with People magazine? What talent does Matthew McConnaughey have other then parading around with no clothes on at the beach? He certainly doesn't have the look that belongs on a magazine cover.

Unless there's a large size photo of Jake I'm not going to purchase the magazine.

Anonymous said...

What talent does Matthew McConnaughey have other then parading around with no clothes on at the beach?

Why would he need other talents for People's hot men list?

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen the magazine, but my guess is that they gave Matt McBongo No. 1 because he offered them an exclusive interview. That's what happened in past years.

Anonymous said...

4:25: I don't know about that, if you mean the mainstream press, yes there has been nothing because there is nothing new, no new sigthings or "mysterious" trips to medical buildings. Although I still see the gossip blogs posting about the pregnancy rumors, so yes and no. Also Reese has been missing in action for a while, Jake is in NY and Ryan has been spotted with the kids as of late, hmmm.Anyway I'm predicting another sighting soon, mark my words.

Anonymous said...

In an earlier posting on Gawker (the original one referring to breakfast with Mario Batali (sp?), they'd called Jake the new Jean Paul Belmondo.

What - with that nose????

Anonymous said...

It's nice to hear that someone still remembers Jean Paul Belmondo :)

Anonymous said...

I will never forget Jean Paul, Jake should be honered to be compared to him

Anonymous said...

10:44AM here, I spoke too soon, Access Hollywood just mentioned Jake and Reese in regards to the People magazine sexy bachelor issue. Something like he may not be available for long, blah, blah. So silly considering the point of the People issue is to push the single angle, not married nor rumored GF is mentioned. ell, Matt is rumored to be dating some brazillian model, and I don't think people mentions that.

Yeah, on Jake and Reese online fandom the chatter is quiet, on IHJ, IMDB and on this forum, the Jake/Reese threads haven't been updated since the May 30th "sighting" and the silly preggers rumors which are stillcirculating on some gossip blogs.

Anonymous said...

You didn't spoke too soon - Access Hollywood note is nothing worth mentioning.

Anonymous said...

PG, you are in top form! I bet the rumor about that play had something to do with it ;-) Don’t you think it’s time to move to NY?

And People magazine, who are all those randoms in the same list as Jake? No wonder Jake is tired of those 10-Hottest-Whatever lists. He would need a 10-Most-Interesting-Well-Rounded-Intelligent-Refined-Witty-Talented-Adorable-Athletic-Eloquent-Literate-who-also-happen-to-be-Sizzling-Hot-in-a-relaxed-casual-kind-of-way list and 9 more people (who probably do not exist) to fill positions #2 to #10.

P.S. Cherita, you’re a gyllenhaalic. Slapping does not cure that. Nothing does. Just enjoy it!
P.S.2 gossip makes me feel so sleepy...

Anonymous said...

People lacks judgement and taste. To place that American Idol loser and Kenny Chesney on the same list as Jake boggles the mind!!!It is beyond insulting. I've changed my mind about lists. I don't want Jake anywhere near them. He is in a class alllll by himself. There's Jake. Then there's everyone else.
CMC, Gyllenitis is a incurable disease.And yes. You are a Gyllenhaalic. Embrace it.

Anonymous said...

Why does everyone keep forgetting that People is a tabloid?

Anonymous said...

11:44AM Ah, but you said it was quiet, I just mentioned that little "chirp" from Access Hollywood. As far as the other insipid tabloids, with the exception of US mentioning the 5/25 Dr. Office visit and the 5/30 internet gossip blog chatter that they visited a friends house in seperate cars, nothing. Jake has been in NY and Reese semms to be MIA, in L.Al. anyway, no "news" nothing to report.

Anonymous said...

Jake for prez! Hell yeah!

Vote for the Gyllenhaal! Because voting is sexy!

Tabloids Blaboids! Whatever!
Jake Watch forever!

Anonymous said...

Jake for prez? Jake as a politician?!?

Heaven forbid!

heddaparsons said...

We should know for sure by the end of this week if Jake says yes to doing this play, and I hope he says yes!!! If he does this calls for a gathering of agents in NY this fall!!

Seriously, I'm so happy to hear this news along with Rendition opening in October. This is what I want to read about, not who he is rumored to be dating and other tabloid gossip blogger nonsense. Besides I prefer JW take on stuff like that, it's a hell of a lot funnier.

Anonymous said...

The French referred to Jean Paul Belmondo as the French Bogart. He had a stroke a few years back, he is taking it easy these days.

PS: I noticed that the the peoples avatars are gone????

Becky Heineke said...

2.05, original post HERE. I just now linked to that in this post because yeah, that might help with understanding that whole first paragraph. :)

To all you Jeese people, what blog are you reading? We don't seriously discuss that stuff here! If ain't in the forum, we don't know about it.

And breathless, the avatars have been gone for a while and I'm not sure why that happened. :(

Anonymous said...

Prophecy Girl wrote:
"...I added People Magazine to my boycott list because they ranked McConnaughey ahead of the Gyllenhaal which pretty much puts them in the same category as Satanists and people who don't use their turn signals."

LOL!! Oh I am SO there with you on that one, PG!!! Grrrrr.....


"We're covered, though, on the $20,000 because brits sold her liver on the black market and I agreed to go without food or water for the next month."

ROFLMAO!!!!! I swear, I don't know what I'd do without this blog to get my day started with a laugh! *Mwah*

Anonymous said...

Yes please, all the Jake/Reese gossip to the forum, thank you.

Anonymous said...

LMAO!!! I just got Google alerts from Glasgow, Johannesburg and Prague...about Farragut North and Jake on Broadway! WHen he finally announces he's doing it, there will be another wave of articles. His PR people are really good. And being second to Matty is not satisfactory to us, but in the People Magazine world, it must mean something.
(BTW: Penelope, the modern fairytale about a pig-faced girl, Cristina Ricci, will be screened at CineVegas, the Las Vegas film fest on 6/15. Reese is the producer.)

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure of wanting Jake anywhere around Matthew Mc Conaughey, whatever the reason...

But at least you got a call from Jake, PG...:)

Anonymous said...

His PR people are really good.

They are?

Michael Riedel, NYP: "Asked about Gyllenhaal yesterday, an extremely agitated Richards declined to comment - for fear, I'm told, of blowing the deal. Ah, relax, Jeffrey. I'm reporting theater news here, not Watergate, for heaven's sake."

I think that everyone else just repeated what Michael reported - New York Post is reliable source.

Becky Heineke said...

^^^ I think you're probably right. I personally think his PR people suck.

britpopbaby said...

What are you talking about? We ARE his PR people!

WOW! No offence intended, but if BPB got close to $20,000 for her liver after that much gin, how much does a less pickled one fetch?

My liver was PRESERVED.

Becky Heineke said...

What are you talking about? We ARE his PR people!

Yeah. And we suck. :D

Anonymous said...

if your liver was preserved the way strawberries are preserved, I wouldn't give 20 pesos for it, much less $20,000.Tell the truth. Did you promise the real estate agent sex with Jake???? Not even knowing whether he comes with the house or not??

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:20, that is what's known in the biz as a "strategic leak..." The people who want Jake might have done it to test the concept, or to sort of push Jake to make a decision. You know. Turn up the heat. OTOH: Jake's people might have leaked it, then feigned displeasure, to up Jake's price or get him the kind of contract he wants. Such are the games that go on!

Anonymous said...

"strategic leak..." makes sense to me. "Jake's people might have leaked it" - does not.

Anonymous said...

Well, Whatever is going on, the last few sets of pics of Jake indicate a pretty happy guy. I think he'll do it. Tell ya whut.
If they even announce the theatre where it will be mounted, that play will sell out its entire run in less than 48 hours. Make that 24 hours. If I were a producer of the play, I would start out with Jake who wil probably only do it for a few months at most. If he starts in October, say, he might not stay beyond the holidays. OR he could stay thru the end of January. But then. I would have another high profile star take his place. It could be the most sought after part on B'way. All bcz of Jake. OR. MAybe he will atay with it until the spring and get nominated for a Tony...which he will win.

call me cherita said...

Guys, maybe I'm just burned out on conspiracy theories, but the writer referred to his "spy." I'm more inclined to believe he has someone on the inside with the play, as he indicated, than that this is some slick PR move. Especially since the only slick thing about Jake's PR is their patina of slime.

Anonymous said...

OK, This is OT, but not. I just came from IHJ reading about that encounter with the girl who followed Jake in NYC. I gotta say. She should write for a living. Her story had me laughing out loud. Yeah, it might have been kinda stalkerish, but not really. And she offered and explanation a few pages further in that made perfect sense. Anyway. I loved the way she told her story. She's cute. And I think Jake was mean not to finally give in after being a tease, bcz you know he was, and he should have let her have her picture. I love Jake. But still....

Anonymous said...

P.S.
Look. Jake has the right to refuse, totally, and I don't begrudge him at all. And he was nice about it. I guess with all her frantic, nervous, "my hands were shaking as I took the picture..." and "his hair was all golden..." and "I saw his lower back..." "I saw the hair on his legs..."(LMAO!) I just wish the story had a happy ending. But then, life is like that.

Anonymous said...

And I think Jake was mean not to finally give in after being a tease, bcz you know he was, and he should have let her have her picture.

Of course. Jake should encourage fans who follow him around, publish pics on the Internet and tell cute stories about it.

Anonymous said...

There's something about the way Jake looks in his Alf t-shirt that makes me want to rub his tummy.
In fact, I'd like to rub his tummy regardless of the t-shirt. And if I ever run into him, I will!!! LOL!

Anonymous said...

Hi everyone, I thought if you support this play idea, (as I do)you might want to stop by and leave a encouraging comment on the story about it, at Huffington Post.

Link

Thanks.

britpopbaby said...

if your liver was preserved the way strawberries are preserved, I wouldn't give 20 pesos for it, much less $20,000.Tell the truth. Did you promise the real estate agent sex with Jake???? Not even knowing whether he comes with the house or not??

You lost me at strawberries. You must stop now.

As for the girl who followed Jake around NYC, I'm going to have to come down on the side of borderline squirrel snacks. I can simply not condone such blatant stalking.

Anonymous said...

The picture of Jake in his Alf t-shirt, he looks all happy and waving his arms as he walks. Reminds me of Al Pacino. When Al is excited, he propels himself with those arms waving all over the place. Watch HEAT. He does it in HEAT. Now I see Jake waving his arms propelling himself forward like he is SO excited. Cool.Are we really doing Jake in '08??? Bcz I think that would be the ultimate great idea!!!! Wee can wear the t-shirts to his B'way show and stand around the stage door...while he leaves out the front...we're lucky that way.

welliwont said...
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Anonymous said...

would you do?? Follow? not follow?

Same situation? I would follow, probably took pics. But I would NEVER stop him and ask for a picture - that would be like slaping his face.

Becky Heineke said...

But I would NEVER stop him and ask for a picture - that would be like slaping his face

Slapping his face? That's an inappropriately harsh comparison. Come on. No one knows until they're in such a situation how they'll react. You can talk it up till you're blue in the face but until you're in that position, there is no possible way to know.

So maybe it was a little weird...she still acted a hell of a lot more appropriately than the average paparazzo and reported it a hell of lot more reverently than the average gossip blogger. She had an imperfect experience and she wrote about it. She certainly didn't ask us all to commentate like we have some deep insight in her behavior or Jake's. She didn't do anything illegal and she didn't even get what she wanted in the end, so I don't understand why people are still upset about it.

This news is sooo last post anyway.

Becky Heineke said...

I'm not condoning her actions. I'm just saying that if you have some objection to Jake's privacy being invaded, there are plenty of more worthy places to direct your anger.

Anonymous said...

Slapping his face? That's an inappropriately harsh comparison.

I was talking how I would feel. I would feel guilty for following him so there is no chance in hell I would ask anything from Jake after that.

heddaparsons said...

In the previous post, I mentioned that I saw Jake twice, once with his parents and once with his friend Chris here in NY. It was recent. I didn't bother him obviously, but I would have if he was alone. I would of asked for a picture with him, if he said no then I would leave it like that, I wouldn't have followed him or took pics of him as he was walking away, but that's me.

I'm older than Nicole and I realize she was excited and she meant no harm, but I still felt uncomfortable reading her account.

welliwont said...
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Anonymous said...

Why not? [b]She[/b] decided to share her story and pics.

Anonymous said...

Why not? She decided to share her story and pics.

welliwont said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I hope you will need less time to decide what to do if/when you meet Jake one day!

Anonymous said...

I'd never bother Jake if he were eating,meeting, orout with family, but if I saw him with a friend, I think I would. I'd be as courteous as possible. I might even lie and say I am leaving town the next day for...the Mojave Desert where I live in a cave and will never be back to NYC again ever. Maybe one of the reasons he discourages when he is alone and the fan is alone is to avoid "problems." There are all kinds of nutjobs out here. Not that Nicole is one, but who knows what kinds of experiences he's had! He could be sued or people could lie about him for $$$ or publicity. The world's a crazy place. Maybe he took pictures with those others bcz they were NOT alone.

welliwont said...
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Anonymous said...

"Guys it it totally official. I just saw it on E! The Daily 10 in the section Quick Hitters"

Becky Heineke said...

What's official?

Anonymous said...

"Faragut North"

Anonymous said...

Ops - it's "Farragut North"

Becky Heineke said...

Fabulous. I knew he'd do it for me! Snort. :)

Anonymous said...

So are we gonna plan an outing to NYC for Rendition/Farragut or what??? And should we have "Jake in '08" shirts for it and badge thingies? We need to move fast on the shirts if we do. We could start an effin' movement with this. I can feel the big mo'(momentum.) building.

Sam said...

oh my god i wish i could get to new york

Sam said...

Anon 4.23 said I saw a series of pictures the other day: Jake walking along and he either got a text message or a voice message.(cellphone, blackberry,???)Anyway,it must have been really good news, (maybe about the play?) bcz he got really happy. And then he realized he was out in public and he was being photoed and so he bit his lip and put his head down to try to contain it, but it was SO cute. Does anyone else know which ones I mean?


I didnt see these, but i want to! Im so out of the loop atm, im so busy at work i miss all this stuff? Can anyone point me in the right direction?

welliwont said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
britpopbaby said...

I'm torn between confining my comment here to the subject of today's post, and responding to this

OH MY GOD, I WAS JOKING, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

I couldn't give a figgy roll about anyone else meeting Jake and what they did to meet him and what happened when they got there and how Jake responded and then what happened afterwards and then how the internet masses felt about it and then I did not spend a few hours contemplating what I might do in the same situation but no, but thinking about it now, itwould probably not involve FOLLOWING HIM FOR THREE HOURS.

welliwont said...
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welliwont said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

People magazine=Velveeta cheese.
I agree with PG regarding Jake's PR team: They suck mooseballs.

Anonymous said...

I saw a series of pictures the other day: Jake walking along and he either got a text message or a voice message.

IHJ Gallery

Anonymous said...

IMDb, Rendition: "Indeed, Reese and Jake never meet on screen."

Sam said...

thankyou anon 11.42 *hug*

I dont like all the f words :( Im lost, i'm not sure what we are swearing about... maybe we could move on?

Alf and Jake would make a cute couple... imagine the kids, it'd e like the donkey and dragon kids from shrek!

Anonymous said...

11:47: Which is good news because that means people won't be seeing it just because of them and the spin regarding the rumors surrounding them is because of Rendition, now that spin rings false. This is a political movie, kind of silly to be pushing them as a couple because of it IMO.

I read the whole thread over at IMDB, and overall it was good but they say that Jake appears for about 30-40 minutes and his performance is muted, Reese about 30 min and Meryl about 20 min. Sounds like an ensemble piece. I hope they are wrong about Jake though.

Anonymous said...

"I read the whole thread over at IMDB, and overall it was good but they say that Jake appears for about 30-40 minutes and his performance is muted, Reese about 30 min and Meryl about 20 min. Sounds like an ensemble piece. I hope they are wrong about Jake though."

This is only one user who (allegedly) saw the film in a screening. He tells us not much about the plot or where and when he saw the film. I am a bit sceptical...

In a movie blog someone who knew the script wrote:
"Sorry to disappoint, but Reese Witherspoon's role ....blabla. It's not a meaty part.

It's really all Jake's movie. At least in the script, that is.

Saarsgard plays another in his line of kindly appearing scumbags. Not a big role."

So did they change the script??

Anonymous said...

This is only one user who (allegedly) saw the film in a screening.

Read again - two users.

Anonymous said...

Alf and Jake would make a cute couple... imagine the kids, it'd e like the donkey and dragon kids from shrek!

Its comments like these that make me addicted to JW.The commentary, the posts, the wit, the banter...*sigh*.

And I totally agree about Jake's PR. Mooseballs? *snorts*

Anonymous said...

IMDb: well its not a completely finished product yet, but it def looks like an oscar film. reese has about the same screen time as everyone else, its split up pretty evenly. i didnt really see any one primary character.

Anonymous said...

If Jake had really good PR that so-called "official site" wouldn't exist as it is currently constituted!There's chatter about Maggie doing a Broadway revival of the musical South Pacific in today's papers and the blogosphere!
The New York Film Festival is much smaller than Tribeca's and it focuses on films that are more indie and quirky.It is possible, but unlikely Gavin Hood might use it to feature Rendition. NYFF isn't as commercial as Venice or Toronto. NYFF is like the LAFF which has a similar focus. I read a news alert that Howard Dean said he wishes Jake would be him in the play. Bet Mrs. Dean thinks so too! LOL!

Anonymous said...

OT: There are some new pics of Jake and his Mom on Just Jared.

Anonymous said...

Cute pics, cardigan, not so cute!

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to imagine "Rendition" all diced & sliced with multiple story lines, like "Crash" (uck) and "Babel," as seems to be fashionable nowadays in scripts.

I keep wishing & hoping Jake will pop up in the Union Square Greenmarket. I imagine looking up from evaluating a handful of greens to find him there. We will have a brief, never-to-be-forgotten conversation about broccoli rabe, which I'll keep replaying in my head for days afterward, wondering why it didn't occur to me to say something to him with more intellectual content or praise for his acting.

britpopbaby said...

On the other side of the coin, I don't know why you are gettin so fucking hostile to me for, guess what, you did not read my tone of voice in my post either Suzy, there was nothing critical of you in my fucking post, which I haved deleted, or I would re-post here for your edification.

My comment was a declaration of exasperation not hostility.

I'm sorry you misunderstood me, welliwont. I was joking in my original comment, shown by me using the term 'blatant stalking' in reference to one of JW's regular features. I was mildly irritated that you read it incorrectly and sparked off a serious discussion about it but my second comment wasn't aimed wholly at you, more the talk in general. I was slightly alarmed at the direction it was heading in and wanted to put a definate stop to it. There is only so long PG and I can pussy-foot around these situations. We try and break up these types of conversations by dropping in humourous comments because we don't feel comfortable with them. You admitting you'd follow Jake around and wait for outside whilst he ate in a restaurant was the final straw for me, which is why you got brunt of my aggravation.

And please don't use my actual name on this kind of forum. If I wanted to be referred to by that name, I would use it.

Anonymous said...

I will never understand anyone thinking Matthew McConnaughey is hot!! He lives in a trailer and doesn't use deodorant--UGH!! Honestly, if you think that's hot ladies, RUN--DON'T WALK to Arkansas (in the States) and you will be in heaven because lots of people there live in trailers and have B.O., if that's your idea of hot! The only difference is most of them are missing teeth, and thanks to Hollywood, old Matt's got teeth (could be fake though).