...is my freaking shirt making me look fat? Excuse me, I have to go find a full length mirror.
BRITPOPBABY READS JAKE'S GQ INTERVIEW AND IS MOSTLY CONFUSED.
1. The word 'milquetoast' is used.
2. Jake likes to watch pigs being slaughtered.
3. Interviewer and Jake talk about ellipsies. britpopbaby shudders as the ghost of James Joyce taps her on the shoulder and says, 'Remember me?'
4. Robert Downey Jnr describes Jake as '...wet, dark and wild'. There is no explanation of this comment. Unfortunately.
5. Interviewer accidentally insults Jake. jake responds by doing a faux English accent and then a monkey impression.
6. Interviewer keeps mentioning 'leathery woman'. Is she Jake? No. So do we care? No.
7. Jake demands a pug to wipe his chicken wing covered hands on, which leads beautifully into how he has a Boo.
8. Caddyshack? Kill me. Kill me now.
9. When interviewer says, 'Wow, you're a traditonally guy.' Jake replies, 'Not really...but, yeah.'
10. My new favourite Jake quote: 'Brutha, the mountain is many things'.
11. They have a fake Shakepeare's Globe Theatre in LA. Sacrilegious.
12. Jake and interviewer attempt to break in to fake Globe Theatre. Again, no explanation.
13. Jake has a bitchin' car...but says he's going to buy two hybrids. Why does one person need two cars?
14. Jake screams at his GPS.
15. Jake keeps mucho sporting equipment in his trunk. You never know when you might need a squash raquet.