HELLO MY DAHLINGS

My name is Madame Swiss and I have been recruited into the Jake Watch fold by the increasingly mysterious Number Six. My postion is a flexible one but know that I'm here to deal with the rather nasty business of rumors and gossip! I won't bore you with the fabulous details of my life just yet, just know I'm an old Southern Belle with more wisdom than Oprah rubbing up against an oak tree. But let's concentrate on the beautiful Jacob for now, dahlings.

So, I was out pruning my camellias last Thursday when Rev Gregor rode past on his bicycle, spouting some trolly about my dearest Jacob and one Miss Reese Witherspoon-mont. Well, sweet home Alabama! It'll be a dark day in Albuquerque before I see that petticoat rustling the follicles of my sweet, innocent Jacob. I said to the pastor, as he came to a screechin' halt right by my crocuses, where did he hear such damn nonsense? 'All over the place, Madame Swiss! There making a moving picture together back in the Old World'. I almost collasped right there on my secateurs. A woman in her position with that naive boy in the backwaters of god knows where! Well, I'm telling you all right now, ain't nothing but poppycock. She's cute in a 'reserve-cheerleader-squad' sort of fashion but Jacob knows better than to upset his Mama Swiss and make her come over all unnessecary. And that's the end of that.