Now, in recent months there has been a lot of whining going on regarding Jake's current choice of busom buddies. Personally, I don't get what you're bitching about - anyone who smokes weed, does yoga and plays the bongos naked is A.O.K in my books and Matthew McConaughey isn't too bad either. But, Jake Watch being the public service that it is, I guess we should take a moment to choose some new, more appropiate playmates for Jake. As soon as something gets the official Jake Watch seal of approval there can be no more complaints (ooo, that just gave me an idea!).
A. Snoop Doggy Dogg
Now you steppin' with Big G from Los Angeles
Where the helicopters got cameras
Don't think I'll be bikin' up mountains wit you Jake,
We're gonna chill by the pool wit my home-made cakes.
Fo' Shizzle!
B. His Holiness The 14th Dali Lama of Tibet
Now that would make for some boring ass Pap pics.
C. Oceans 11 through 24
Clooney needs a new mac to ride with ever since Pitt and Damon got all sprogged up.
D. Paris Hilton and friends.
I can't remember who her friends are anymore but I sure know all about her enemies. Maybe Jake could help patch up that rift with Firecrotch and Skeletor. Or maybe not.
E. Lieutanent Dan and Forrest Gump.
Shrimp Boat Captain? Plenty of fresh air, exercise and well, shrimp. Sorry, I don't know what it is with me and Lieutanent Dan lately.
F. Tom Cruise
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. McBongo not looking so shoddy now, is he?
25 comments:
Hi - Im along time lurker - absolutely love your site :)
I havent seen this mentioned here yet - your chance to win a lunch and set visit with Mr G :
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=140029857996
tony
xxx
Oh 1st anon - you missed the prior blogs I see - check out Archive my pet on the Pimping of JG!
Okay as for the bid - we got $3,100.00
from Brokebackfan - gee I wonder what kind of fantasy this bidder gots in mind?
BTW - the winning bidder can bring 1 GUEST! HELLO BRITPOPBABY - I think I see your 'in' on this visit! You need to get in serious negotiations with the bidders for that guest slot!
I'm voting Lt. Dan. He'd probably be into working out, or at least living vicariously through Jake by making him work out, which is something we all want to see.
Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!Lt. Dan!! Lt. Dan!!
eBay - JG on set visit:
Q: To prevent an awkward moment - who pays for lunch? Does the winning bidder split the bill with Jake or is this on ACLU's tab?
A: This will take place on a set, so their will be no tab. Just food from the caterer.
So free lunch is included!
HA HA HA HA HA HA! TOM CRUISE! HA HA HA!
green said...
"Q: To prevent an awkward moment - who pays for lunch? Does the winning bidder split the bill with Jake or is this on ACLU's tab? "
Oh my god that is hysterical...I love the fact they even answered that question!!! LMAO - Jake breathes a sigh of relief know he doesnt have to hit the ATM that day!
Paris Hilton - don't worry PG i have my reason!
TBL -- excellent plan. Totally failure proof!
FYI - I believe he goes by just 'Snoop Dogg' these days.
i vote for ocean's eleven - there's nothing like a bunch of handsome guys in the background who would accentuate his gorgeousness (does this word even exist?). of course he will overshadow them all - but it's nice to win in a good competition, unlike mcmatty
I'm going to also go with the Oceans Whatever series. For his past roles, Jake seems to have favored the angst-ridden teenager & the rural working-class looks. And yet he looked so damned sharp when he dressed up for the award shows last season. The sight of Jake in a tux made my mouth water. I'm hoping he'll one day pick a movie role that will eventually get him into a wardrobe of beautifully tailored suits.
or those historical outfits like in "liaisons dangereuses" - can you imagine him in those tight trousers and a shirt with fluffy lacy collar.
god, i'm al ashamed of myself and my overheated imagination...
or in a MR Darcy's costume a la Colin Firth - imagine the scene in the lake... wet shirt with chest hair peeking through. Guh
i'm starting to drool over my keyboard
I vote Snoop! For no other reason than the fact that I love him...
and, uh, did I miss something with the bongos? LOL
BWAH!
Okay I'm on team McBongo. I think he'd be exceedingly fun to hang around with all horny and high all the time, but I digress. I vote for George Clooney and pals. I can tell by award season that George has a great deal of affection for his little replacement and the feeling seems mutual.
re: SquallCloud 's comment:
ooooh Clooney is gonna get you for that one!! LMAO
But Jake will never have the 'Facts of Life' memories that George has - NEVER!
See if Jake doesn't hang out with McMattie then he misses out on this:
http://tinyurl.com/j5tke
This is not fair. What possible choice can there be for anyone concerned about the well-being of Jake? I mean, would you really choose a Gangsta rap murder suspect, or a bunch of robbers, or an alcoholic cripple, or Tom "Thetan XXX I'm not gay" Cruise? (I can't even bear to mention that hotel chain French tart). The Dalai Lama it has to be.
I´m all for the Dalai Lama for Jake´s moral and spiritual well being. But our boy needs some fun once in a while, and I´m pretty sure Clooney & Co. are the right guys for that.
But as long as he stays away from Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton, it´s all good.
i think it's be cool if the sunday projects have voting buttons, so we can see which are the most popular choices! i mean, how can we NOT pick lt. dan?!
found an interesting article on zodiac: http://www.hollywoodwiretap.com/
?module=news&action=story&id=6394
i hope the idiots at paramount come to their senses and zodiac comes out in december.
Oooo! Penis spam!
I think I threatened to whip babies when I heard of the Zodiac delays. I gotta stake out a pre-school or something... I call my high school students my babies but then I'm pretty sure all of those fuckers who tower over me mind you, could whoop my ass so that's out.
Paris is pissed again and her useless sister just looks on!
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