Jake Watch has been given the exclusive news that The Gyllenhaal was drafted in by the underground militant movement HATMASC (Hollywood Actors That Mostly Aren't Shit Crazy) to give Mel Gibson, "a good talking to". After some finger pointing and tutting The Gyllenhaal persuaded Heath Ledger to admit deep regret for his role in The Patriot and chinese-burned britpopbaby's 'A' Level history teacher into aplogising for once making the whole class watch We Were Soldiers when they should have been learning actual facts about the Vietnam War.
The smile in these pictures are in fact a, "Oh, you think that's funny? How about I show you some Payback?" smirk.
31 comments:
Is Jake regrowing his beard in honor of his new status as an underground mililtant?!?! Thought we'd dealt with that whole beard issue ages ago!!!
All jokes aside - Mel could really use some time with Jake or the Gyllenhaal family as a whole to get some of his ideas and behaviours "out of his system"....
lisasmile - it looks like he's had some blood drawn. He was sick a couple of weeks ago, so perhaps he just had a check-up.
Well, here's an exercise for the historically minded, or those with long memories for male beauty.
Go look up pictures of the young Mel Gibson, when he was just a little younger than Jake & appeared in Peter Weir's "Gallipoli," and then tell me if those blue, blue eyes weren't heartstopping.
And then look up pictures of the young Tom Cruise, when his Wayfarers were just as hip as Jake's Blinde sunglasses.
If you want to go back even further, check out Alain Delon, when he was at the height of his beauty, and look at what he's become recently.
Time isn't kind to anyone. (Imagine these three actors quoting to Jake that New England graveyard verse: "As you are now, so once was I.")
Jake needs to hang onto his principles & his sanity, and to cultivate his acting talent & any other gifts he has, so that he will wear better in the long run than these other male beauties. If Jake ends up conducting himself like his Gyllenpappa in 30 years, he'll be very fortunate, and he'll probably escape the curse that seems to be visited upon some handsome actors who get a little too much out of touch with reality as their careers accelerate.
Hear, hear.
Hahahah Brit. 'Rosary beads ERGO Mel Gibson'.
Nice, you are so right. Time isn't kind to anyone.
In other but not wholy unrelated news, 'I am what I am' from La Cage Aux Folles just came on the radio.
Sod MadMel and let's do a cancan, everyone.
Since you mentioned Heath in this post, Warner Bros. just confirmed that Heath Ledger WILL be playing The Joker in The Dark Knight, the next installment of the rejuvenated Batman franchise.
Will they be able drag Katie Holmes from the clutches of Crusieanut long enough to make a next installment? They'd better tell him it's for Superman instead - alien from another planet would be more comfortable for him
And the cancan? With my foot?!
Back on topic: I never liked Gibson since The Patriot was released and when he was questioned on UK TV about the gross historical inaccuries in it he started to laugh. Then said, "Hey, it's only a film...". Fuckwit.
With your foot, young lady. We didn't win the war by moaning about our feet, I'll have you know.
Poor The Sun - they were talking about Paul Bettany as The Joker, like, two minutes ago. Bizarre really needs to pull its finger out of its bottom, doesn't it?
HAWTMASC (Hollywood Actors That Mostly Aren't Shit Crazy)
LMAO!!! LOVE it, britpop! I do believe Mel long ago crossed over to the "bat shit crazy" side - but our little Gyllenwolf is thankfully an upstanding member of HATMASC. :)
They'd better tell him it's for Superman instead - alien from another planet would be more comfortable for him
LMFAO!!!
Thank God someone's doing something about Mel. I actually wouldn't mind seeing that smack-down. Damn, it's a violent day in Jake Watch history, isn't it? I'm still hanging my head in shame that I didn't know about this. Thank God for you guys; that's all I'm gonna say.
Crusieanut
LOL!!
I never liked Gibson since The Patriot was released and when he was questioned on UK TV about the gross historical inaccuries in it he started to laugh. Then said, "Hey, it's only a film...".
If it's possible, I now dislike that dude even more. *shudder*
What's with all this leaning into car windows? Is he homeless?
ahhh u can always count on JW and BPB to cheer you up!
I'm still hanging my head in shame that I didn't know about this. Thank God for you guys; that's all I'm gonna say.
Hey, don't feel bad, BPB. It was by merest chance that I happened on the Mel thing, and that only moments before I clicked on JW and say your comment in the last post. (That anon was me being duh!)
Warner Bros. just confirmed that Heath Ledger WILL be playing The Joker in The Dark Knight, the next installment of the rejuvenated Batman franchise.
Yeah, a big whoop-de-doop for this! The rumour has been all over the place since just before Comic-Con. No disrespect to Jake, but imho, Heath is an awesome actor and at the rate he's going, will never be in danger of being typecast.
Heath has such a wonderfully deep, rich speaking voice (which makes me all shivery whenever I hear it). I hope he's got a lot of dialogue in the movie.
Did the new "Superman" do so well that they're extending the franchise even further? I'd thought it was considered a bit of a disappointment. But maybe not.
Way to go Heath!
Wonder if he's going to play the Joker as Mel Gibson- like Batshit crazy, or as a quiet ominious dangerous Joker. But then again the Joker was always a tad loud and crazy wasn't he?
^^ That should probably read, Be strong Public Telephones! They have no respect these days do they?
nice anonymous(7:06) loved your post! I don't worry about Jakey. He is intellectually curious and very open. Brave actually.And he was raised my intelligent, compassionate people. Mel, on the other hand, always had this manic, scarey look, even as a young man. He strikes me as someone who's filled with fear and self-loathing.
And from what little I know about his dad, guess it's the old 'apple falling not far from the tree' thing. Thus he is a homophobic, mysoginistic, anti-semitic ass. Too bad. He could have been so much better than he is. For some reason, I can't get myself to gloat about this. I just want him to go away.
Oh, dear. In my 9:54 post, I confused the "Superman" franchise with the "Batman" franchise (revived by Christian Bale). Sorry about that. I'm just no good at remembering these 40s & 50s "--" man comic book superheroes. ("Aquaman" is the one who doesn't really exist yet, right?)
Wasn't it Jack Nicholson who played The Joker in an earlier version of a Batman movie? So that's who Heath is following up on.
Wasn't it Jack Nicholson who played The Joker in an earlier version of a Batman movie?
Correct, nice anon! Directed, if memory serves, by Tim Burton. So he has some B-I-G shoes to fill there!
They had a segment on the BBC news just now in which they showed an interview from 2004 in which the reporter asked Gibson straight up, "Are you anti-Semitic?" and he kind of paused and then went, "Of course not!" in the same way Jake might say to me, "Have you been rummaging in my trash?" pause Me: "Oh course not!".
And congrats to Heath on the Batman gig. Evil Heath, mmm...
Any racist, phobic feelings lying deep within his mind seem to be more his own personal demons. I do believe he is sincerely ashamed...and regrets what came out of his mouth...
I can't speak for Mel G, but one thing I can tell you guys. I live in South Africa, where we had Apartheid as official policy for years. I was unaware of it growing up, but unconsciously you absorb stuff - attitudes, generalizations etc. And even now, as a tolerant, non-racist, open-minded adult, I sometimes find a racist attitude and/or remark springing to mind / out my mouth - usually in a situation where a person of color is behaving in an annoying or threatening way and I get angry or scared myself... and that is NOT who I am now, but still the stuff I've absorbed unconsciously is buried deep. And we all know that drinking loosens your inhibitions and controls, so when someone under the influence spews stuff, it could be coming from way back when and not necessarily from who they choose to be in everyday life.
Just my 0.02 on the subject.
Well all this talking of Heath doing the Joker really makes me want BAD to see Jake playing a bad guy. You know I am one of those who REALLY loved him as Tony shut-the-f**k-up Swaff!
As for Mel ... sad really. I used to like him a lot in his heydays, his eyes ... but not as a person.
Nice anonymous funny you mentioned Alain Delon, I found myself recalling Delon several times looking or reading about Jake... Not sure why. (OK I am old that's right!)
Anon. 2:27, I'm a bit too young to remember Alain Delon when he was in his prime. But a good friend took me to see "Purple Noon" several years ago when it was re-released & playing at the Quad Cinema. And then, a year or two afterward, I saw "The Leopard" when a cleaned-up print was re-released. Alain Delon was such a very beautiful, blue-eyed young man. Like Jake, he had the good fortune to work with some really fine directors during his career. And he seemed to really struggle to get good, substantive parts, so that he wasn't just used for his pretty face. (Jake seems nearer to Alain Delon in his physical presence than, say, Helmut Berger, another very handsome actor of that time period.)
Can any of our friends in Europe tell me if Alain Delon has gone off the deep end, the way that Mel Gibson & Tom Cruise have done recently? We don't get much news of him stateside. What struck me, of course, in recent photographs I've seen, is how time has ravaged Delon. (Since I'd seen him fairly recently on a big screen in his beautiful 1960s incarnation, in the art house revivals, I'd begun to think of him as a contemporary actor.)
Cina said: "lisasmile - it looks like he's had some blood drawn. He was sick a couple of weeks ago, so perhaps he just had a check-up."
He was sick?? :( What was up with that?
*Squeeee* cough, cough! Wait that means Jakey is not going to be Two Faces? FUUUUCK!
[i]I can't speak for Mel G, but one thing I can tell you guys. I live in South Africa, where we had Apartheid as official policy for years. I was unaware of it growing up, but unconsciously you absorb stuff - attitudes, generalizations etc. And even now, as a tolerant, non-racist, open-minded adult, I sometimes find a racist attitude and/or remark springing to mind / out my mouth - usually in a situation where a person of color is behaving in an annoying or threatening way and I get angry or scared myself... and that is NOT who I am now, but still the stuff I've absorbed unconsciously is buried deep. And we all know that drinking loosens your inhibitions and controls, so when someone under the influence spews stuff, it could be coming from way back when and not necessarily from who they choose to be in everyday life.
Just my 0.02 on the subject.[/i]
Wow, it's so weird chatting on a blog with an Afrikaaner. I mean I spent most of my formative years participating in school walk outs and letter writing campaigns to get corporations and the American gov't to divest from SA and put up embagos until Apartheid was over and was gravely dissapointed by Mandela's soft pedal leadership in the Reconstruction efforts.
For someone who exists on the other side of the coin, it can't be taken lightly. The specific comment has not be reported so he might have said something like "All jews are poo-poo heads!" or something like "I will kill any jews that come near me1" We just dont' know. I was over Gibson when I found out what a religious fanatic he was. I don't have tolerance for them because my country is run by one and he's gleefully allowing Isreal to go bat shit on Lebanon so he can have his fucking Armegeddon and get raptured to the bossom of baby jesus or somesuch.
Crazies shouldn't run big influential countries is all I'm saying but crazies can star in as many shitty movies I'm not ever going to see if they like.
OMG, Dani, I found the picture of the aged Jake and it isn't pretty. It's on google images.
http://www.worth1000.com/entries/177500/177533hNPM_w.jpg
I'm hoping he looks more like his father over time and not like the doctored photo.
Wow, it's so weird chatting on a blog with an Afrikaaner. I mean I spent most of my formative years participating in school walk outs and letter writing campaigns to get corporations and the American gov't to divest from SA and put up embagos until Apartheid was over...
Hey squallcloud! The internet is the most divine place for this kinda thing, isn't it? :-) Would you believe that growing up as a sheltered little white girl in this country, I knew far less than you guys outside did about the injustice and immorality of the whole thing? Much, much later, I was like - what did we just live through?!?!? I never knew ...
And btw, just FYI (and in the interests of general pernickitiness and accuracy) I'm not an 'Afrikaaner' - that's someone whose home language is Afrikaans. I'm an English-speaking South African. :-) There is a huge cultural divide between Afrikaans-speaking and English-speaking people here - and don't get me started on that!! :-)
If Jakey pulled me over for speeding, I would LOVE to pay the fine.
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