Today's task is to determine a final resting place for The Gyllenhaal. Wait, I worded that wrong - a permanant residence for the wandering one. From Paris to Berlin and every disco he's been in...wait again, that's a recent popular gay disco track not an accurate record of The Gyllenhaal's movements...from LA to New York and back again, often, and the many rumours about Malibu beach houses and hip New York shag pads, I'm getting a little confused and I'm sure Jake is too. So, let's help him in that difficult decision, (that many of us don't have to deal with because we don't have any damn money to move anywhere), of where to nest.
A. THE BEACH HUT.
Ah, an idyllic dream. For us! Imagine all the shots we'd get of those baby blue surf shorts if he lived here. Not to mention the midnight skinny dipping and naked beach barbeques. Plus this particular hut doesn't even look that pricey. Hell, Jake could build one himself!
B. THE CALIFORNIA HOUSE OF WHACK.
Well, I heard Jake was a fan of architecture and shit so when I saw this house I automatically thought, "Oh, good lord who would EVER want to live in that rubik's cube-esque nightmare of a house?! Maybe Jake does".
C. THE TRENDY NEW YORK APARTMENT
Okay, so I have no idea if the picture I've put up here is a trendy New York apartment block but it was the first one that showed up in Google Image Search and I couldn't be arsed to research any further. I'm not even 100% sure it's in New York but ain't it nice looking?
D. THE ENGLISH COUNTRY MANSION
A move to the Shires, you say? No, this isn't a pathetic attempt by britpopbaby to get The Gyllenhaal in the same time zone as her, she just wants the best for Jake. And she wants to imagine him dressing up as Mr Darcy and flouncing about the drawing room. If Jake also wants to take a dip in the lake and emerge from it all dripping and sultry before announcing he's going for a spot of afternoon tea then who are we to stop him?
E. THE CARDBOARD BOX
A favourite of the hobos for centuries this all inclusive, open plan box is a desirable option for the constant traveller. Jake need not forgo his wandering urges, moving from city to city, country to country, he can bring his abode along for the ride! Perfect for The Gyllenhaal World Tour I'm hoping he decides to stage soon.
26 comments:
A - The beach hut! We haven't seen a shirtless Jake in a long time now and ohhh, imagine the beauty of a nicely tanned, shirtless Jake in his blue surfing shorts walking along the beach in the sunset... Of course with me - Agent Cina - by his side in my stunning bikini which he will later remove as we drop to the sand, From Here to Eternity-style....
*sigh*
The open plan box almost got me, lots of room!
Yes the BEACH HUT is also very tempting. Crisp white sand clear blue water.
NEW YORK APARTMENT now that would be good.
But no i have to go with the ENGLISH COUNTRY MANSION. Look like there would be room enough for me to move in. I want the room third from left or is that right??
I'm going for the country mansion purely for selfish reasons as it means he could be within a 100 mile radius of me whilst he sleeps - I'm not being scary am I?!
The Beach Hut does sound like a fabulous option since it makes shirtless Jake a very likely scenario! ;)
However, my first choice would still be the English Country Mansion - cause it seems real roomy and then we could all move in and live like the big, happy, Jake-obsessed family we are! :)
I have missed this SO much!!
English Country Mansion!
I'm going with the beach hut as a personal fav, but knowing, well not knowing him but knowing my luck, jake would select the architectural designed place :P
typical!
Box - means he's portable. Can go wherever the wind takes him. Or where the garbage pickings good.
P.S. 3 lines doth not an e-mail reply make. If you're not careful, I'll send you an e-mail documenting all the cooking I've done this week. And there's a lot.
Could you please refrain from airing your personal grievances with me on the Jake blog.
This is really scary, I have a déjà vu with this sunday project.
Oh well I'll do it again then:
I vote for A = lots of surfing pictures :)
Even though the architectural designed place seem to have a lot of windows
Location wise, I am favouring the English country mansion... so maybe I can stalk him in person for a change. But I think Jake's more likely to live in one of those "Calfornia house of whack".
Definitely the beach hut, which I would christen 'The Love Shack'. As Cina says, the sight of a shirtless Jake strolling along the sand would be more than welcome. As much as I love the blue surfing shorts I think those illegally-obtained Speedos should make an appearance. C'mon Jake, this girl's got needs.
Okay I'll have to go with C - the trendy New York apartment. Selfish reasons only! Two desires of mine, all mixed up in one BIG one: me living in New York again, and doing so happily together with Jake in a gorgeous kick-ass apartment. Oh the very thought of this... *thud*
Oh, and alt. E - the box? LMFAO!!!
The English country manor and the beach hut, while they might indulge my sense of romantic fantasy, are, alas, not suitable. For me, the main criterion is that Jakey be accessible. I mean, if he runs into difficulties and needs our help, we must be able to get to him QUICKLY. As in instantly.
While a trendy architectual nightmare in LA is worth considering, especially if it has LOTS of windows, I finally concluded that this, too, was not adequate to Jakey's needs. It seems that Jakey is a people person. He needs the stimuli of being in a high energy, culturally exciting place. Where he can be out and about around real people. So. For me, the ideal place is N.Y.C. I think we have vast resources in N.Y.C. and if we need to do an intervention, a rescue, or, hopefully, an abduction, we can deploy our JakeWatch forces more efficiently. I mean. Think of this as a military decision. Bcz all's fair in love and war.
I would love to see Jake in the English Country Mansion - especially Pemberley, and especially if he's sharing with Mr Darcy... ;) It's in Europe - which is a big plus - and there's enough of room for me AND my friends to come visit...
(Though, I'm hoping he would keep the beach hut, so I would get to see him surfing, walking the dogs on the beach, watching the sunset with me... ;))
I'd choose the trendy N.Y. apartment, it seems a more appropriate context for enjoying a cultural life and intellectual pondering of sexual obsessions.lol.
I think the Beach hut suits him best! I can't imagine him actually living in the city, he seems more a beach hut sorta guy.
The merits of the portability of a cardboard box intrigue me.
Well, he's got a heck of a lot more money that me, so why not more than one "resting place?" I'd say a trendy NY apt. and a Cal. House of Whack on the beach - a whackhouse beachhut!
He could always use the cardboard box for temporary housing or a guesthouse. ;)
COUNTRY. MANOR.
Preferably juuust outside of Cambridge, within walking distance of Hill.
I think that Jake may know a little bit about modern art & architecture (or he wants to know a little bit about it), so I'm inclined to agree that he might commission a rather interesting-looking house. I can't imagine him picking a kitschy, faux-Colonial place. And maybe something pre-ware in Manhattan, eventually, since I think he'd interview quite well with the co-op boards, even if he's an actor.
"Where would he put his vast sneeker collection?"
Haha, one can't help but wonder.
And I was thinking Beach Hut before, but on further thinking I can totally see him loving the House Of Whack.
"Could you please refrain from airing your personal grievances with me on the Jake blog."
No.
Box - means he's portable. Can go wherever the wind takes him. Or where the garbage pickings good.
I agree, being portable is good. And Jake you'll always have a spot on my lawn to be on if you ever come to Sweden.
He has his box to live in, but if it rains I would let him in :)
E, a portable jake is all i need, i ain't fussy!
Damn! That beach cottage sure is nice, and I can totally appreciate a shirtless, blue swimming trunked Jake......but I think I'll have to go with the box. That way he can pack it and move in with.....ME! (Like I was gonna say anything else?)
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