Sunday, June 25, 2006

EXCELLENT WORK, AGENT!

Jake Watch loves nothing more than a good scoop but it's been about a month since our last so let's get a little creative. Thanks to Agent Katie (who must have the eyesight of a cheetah with spectacles for catching this!), Jake Watch can unofficially reveal that:

MAYBE THE GYLLENHAAL HAS QUIT SMOKING!?

No! Surely not! This is HUGE. Regarde la evidence:

Katie goes on to dissect: "According to some instructions for nic patch use: 'Stick the patch onto your outer upper arm or any clean, dry, non-hairy part of your trunk.'" Hee Hee - trunk. Great research, Agent.
Well, I'm sold. I dare say it's a nicorette patch, chaps! Either that or a nude coloured bra...
Good luck with it, Jake! I could use some corny, "I wish I knew how to quit you" line but instead I'll offer some copyrighted britpopbaby advice: drink copious amounts vodka to take your mind off the cigarettes, easy!
(pic from IHJ, nicorette patches from all good chemists, all good vodka from britpopbaby.)

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can't see the picture, britpopbaby

britpopbaby said...

Pic works for me, sorry sunnyweather.

You can see it HERE if you're a member of iheartjakemedia.com.

Anonymous said...

And we're sure it's not a band-aid covering the scratches from BritPopBaby's fingernails?

Miffed67 said...

DUDE, I just KNEW he was trying to quit! GREAT JOB, katie! AWESOME! I'm so proud of the Gyllenhottie, I can only go.....AWWWWW!

Agnes said...

Good work Katie. *Keeps my finger crossed for Jake*

Anonymous said...

You know someone had to put that one for him. Unless he's severely double triple jointed. LOL If it's the patch indeed, they would have had to press down on it go really make it stick well like the directions say. (that is how I quit 4 years ago) Whoever did it is very lucky.

cina said...

Now THAT's what I call hawk-eyes!! And it's a good guess I think, we haven't seen him smoking in a long time now. Plus, he's started to excercise a lot, so perhaps he's decided (a new year's resolution perhaps?) to start leading a healthier life? If so, Jake - I have to say: Looking good, dude! Now would you please remove that shirt of yours so we can see the result of your efforts completely? Pretty please...?

Weirdland said...

Oh, it's a pity... am I the only who thinks Jake looked like cool and hot when he smoked?

The Real Me said...

anonymous @ 3:09pm, i'm not severely double triple jointed at all and i can reach around and press down in the same spot without any real difficulty.. i do stretch and do yoga a bit but i asked my brother to see if he could do it (same build as jake) and he could too..

:P

and kudos to jake for giving up, smokin harms ur sperm :P

Anonymous said...

If he uses his left arm and sort of gives himself a one-armed hug, he could put the patch on his right side. The only thing that perplexes me is thinking of him giving himself a one-armed hug. It makes me feel bad. Especially when there are a great many people who would willingly give him a two-armed hug...Jakey, plz! Let me help you!

Anonymous said...

This would also explain all the water he's been drinking. He's tryin to get rid of the toxins. Go Baby!

Anonymous said...

I only ever saw him smoke sometimes when he was with the dunst.Probably drove him to it.As for the plaster could be anything but it would be easy to apply himself as we have seen pictures of him self hugging.Just a healthy boy.

Anonymous said...

Wonder if he drinks?And what his fave tipple is?Anybody know what he likes?

Anonymous said...

My god the beard is in full force there isn't it.I like it though.

Anonymous said...

anon 5.25 I agree.It has an alarming growth rate.So fast.
So sexy.

Anonymous said...

well, we know from city slickers that jakey is double jointed =P... and speaking of a one-armed hug, you guys remember that picture where he looked like he was scratching himself when he was eating outside on that bench with maggie and peter? maybe he was scratching the patch then!

Anonymous said...

OMG, smurfette! You're right!!! And I thought he was sitting there carressing himself. I know I would...carress him, I mean...not myself...He was probably in discomfort from the patch.Ciggies probably make Maggie sick to her stomach right about now. When I was pg, I couldn't stand the smell of a cigarette. I quit. That's how I knew I was pregnant. The day after baby was born, I craved a ciggie! I know.

Anonymous said...

Almost all of the pictures I saw of him smoking were with Kirsten just like anon 5:22 said. Kirsten smoked, too. It's hard to quit if you are constantly around someone who does.
I don't smoke and never have but do find it a little sexy when a hot guy smokes. So, Kendra, you are not the only one who thinks that way....But for his health and longevity and so that we can gaze upon his beauty for as long as possible, I hope Jake really is trying to quit. My friend thinks that if he continues to smoke he will lose his gorgeous looks. Her example is Mel Gibson who used to be pretty hot himself back in the day but he is a notorious smoker. I don't know if that's what took awy his looks or no. All I care about is Jake having good health. So, more power to him if this is what he is trying to do.

Anonymous said...

Congrats, Katie, good work. God knows I had gone over every other inch of those photos several times, but I missed the shoulder blades. Attempting to quit would go along with the very slight weight gain some of think we've noticed.

Maybe he's giving them up because of the impending arrival of young Gyllengard. You know, Uncle Jake not wanting to set a bad example or harm young lungs.

About the patch, he may have applied it himself, but it's much sexier to imagine Chris or Austin or Heath or Peter applying it for him.

Anonymous said...

I never knew he smoked! My image of the Jakemeister has been tarnished! :(

Anonymous said...

If you watch the Donnie Darko DVD's behind the scenes footage you can catch him smoking pre-Dunst.

I wish I had of kept track of all of those old interviews of him that have dissapeared offline. I remember a british reporter asking him if his parents ever knew when he was high (although he didn't use the word "high" he used some slang term), and Jake's response was that no, he didn't think they ever knew when he was in either a Bubbleboy or a Highway interview. Heh. He obviously doesn't open his mouth that much about that sort of stuff anymore.

Anonymous said...

I read somewhere amongst the thousands of things I've read on Jake - that he started smoking when he was 17 or 18. So, yes, that is pre Dundst.

That probably is why he has really started excercising so much - to fight off the creeping pounds - still looks good to me. And this could also account for his occassional irritability of late.

The Chemistry Guru said...

*dies laughing*
Damn! You stalkers are better than i thought!

Miffed67 said...

When I was using the patch, I had no problems applying it to myself in a similar location, so I could see Jake being able to do it. And it is entirely possible he was rubbing or scratching it in those lunch photos, too. Those things used to give me muscle cramps when I used them, I used to rub mine all the time.

Anonymous said...

Wow! I'm all for a non-smoking, self-hugging Jake. If he's quitting he'll be healthier, happier, and therefore sexier - so good luck, hot stuff!

cina said...

am I the only who thinks Jake looked like cool and hot when he smoked?

@kendra: I must admit that I find him looking incredibly sexy when he's smoking too.

Anonymous said...

Yeah "Maybe" smoking does sexy,also if He no need of it for beeing that but i wish absaolutely that he just quit with it !

I dont smoke but i know how hard can beeing tryng to stop it

But it is also a thing about health and Jake (i think ) is such an healthy guy that i am really really happy about this news.

Go Man !

cina said...

LMAO!! ^^

britpopbaby said...

LMAO at Simon Agent 002. I didn't know we were up to reccon? You have to tell your Commander these things!

Agnes said...

@Diana rigg: LOL!!

Nothing Really Matters said...

Well done kaite thats good work!

LOL Simon you do come with such, well......

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