Monday, June 12, 2006

BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN

Holy Mother of Moses! How did this get past us? I'll give 'em credit - they're two of the more foxy bitches that have tried to get near the Gyllenhaal but dear god, they are scary! The one in green looks about ready to launch herself at him. Jake, bless his cotton ankle socks, looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights and like most of us when confronted by utter psychos is nervously laughing along, hoping for the best. I presume he managed to escape but if he didn't at least he got mauled by women with smoking bodies and glorious hair. God, maybe that's why they had metal handbags - to concuss him?

44 comments:

zoo said...

sweetest, did i ever thank you for your incredibly clear explanation on how to host and update my avatar? unfortunately it doesn't work because the picture is too big - and anyway, vanity compels to stick to Barbara Back.

now, these birds. they look a bit scary, don't they? clearly ready to mow anything down to get closer to ourjake.

zoo said...

Bach, not Back.

cina said...

As said above - who can blame them? But the still look ridiculously overexcited, can't deny that! LOL

zoo said...

I think what we need is the JakeWatch guide to How To Act Cool And Collected When You Meet Jake While At The Same Time Not Missing The Opportunity To Put Across Just Exactly How Much You Would Give To Get Into His Pants That Instant.

Obviously this is not the job for me.

The Chemistry Guru said...

Lmao!
Way to go ladies, show 'em how its done!

The Chemistry Guru said...

By the way who are they??
I presume they are celebs/actresses too?

cina said...

I'd like to know who they are too.

If it's ok for two female celebs to act like that around The Gyllenhaal, then it should be ok for anyone! Those women are just too damn lucky to even come near him. God knows I never will be in that heavenly place. :-(

Nothing Really Matters said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nothing Really Matters said...

Clearly the girl in the cream dress is an expert at "BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN" Look how she is stopping the green girl in the first picture with her arm and then again in the second. Arm and handbag out stopping the green girl from moving in! See how the green girls arm is stopped mid air from the invisible barrier! Also cream girl is showing her disapproval of Jake even attempting to talk to green girl with a full flash of teeth.

cina said...

@NRM - maybe "cream girl" is one of us in the JakeWatch mafia...? Hehe.

Anonymous said...

Those girls are clearly expert stalkers! I think much can be learnt from them...dress like your a celeb, smile sweetly at security, swoop past and bang you've got yourself on the red carpet! Locate your target and pounce!!

Anonymous said...

They are actors from the movie Hustle and Flow. Don't know their names, though. I remember seeing one of these pics in a mag after the SAG awards.

Becky Heineke said...

Good call, bree. They are most definitely Hustle and Flow girls. When was this? You know they filmed that movie in Memphis and I went to the Memphis premiere...so does that mean I can add yet another way to six-degree myself to Jake?!? I mean, Jake wasn't there (obviously), but they were...this still doesn't excuse their behavior, though I give them credit for showing an appropriate level of fawning.

cina said...

It's probably from the SAG awards, like bree said. Or from the Oscars.

Anonymous said...

This photo is from the red carpet arrivals for the SAG Awards.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, these were taken at the SAG awards - you can see the SAG emblem in the background of one of the photos. I love the bluey-green dress one of the girls is wearing. I'm going to smother by jealousy by being complementary...

Except it didn't work. I'm still jealous!

Miffed67 said...

The green girl is Taraji Henson, I think her name is (who was EXCELLENT in Hustle and Flow, btw) but I don't know the cream girl's name. I loved that movie, but they both need to back away from my man! Sorry girls, he's taken!

Anonymous said...

I think the ladies are both praising Jake's performance in "Brokeback Mountain," even as they are clearly checking out the Gyllenhaal goods. At least they have the conversational gambit of their shared common profession of acting. If I ran into Jake, I'd want to look like they do. I mean, it doesn't get much better than that, does it? You're in a gown that costs thousands, you're styled to the teeth, you're made up as well as you'll ever be, your hair is fierce.

Anonymous said...

I can't blame them at all for their obvious gushing of enthusiasm. I would convulse and foam at the mouth were I that close to Jakey. It's probably a good thing that I'll likely never meet him. It would be humiliating. :)

Anonymous said...

"Hey I even make Black chicks cream! I'm on fiyah!"

Yes, Jake. Yes you do. and Yes Jake, Yes you are.

cina said...

^^ LOL!!

Anonymous said...

nothing really matters, you had me braying with laughter! You broke that picture down! I love Ellyse Neal. Don't know much about Taraji whatever cause I refuse to watch a pimp movie or another damn "In the Hood" drama until they are all about Spelling Bees and Scholastic Achievment. Maybe because I live and work in it, I don't get the fun Hollywood vicarious feeling others do.

I do like Elyse though. She's a sexy little minx and she has a "Pussy Cat Doll" ish burlesque show. I can only guess that instead of tits arayed prominantly hers is more focused on asses.

zoo said...

sweetest, I think it is a public service that Brit simply needs to provide.

Anonymous said...

Hey, that's taraji, from hustle and flow in that pic.
She was great, i really liked the movie and her part was just so heartbreaking and touching. Of course Mr howard was great as well.

Anonymous said...

Hey, that's taraji, from hustle and flow in that pic.
She was great, i really liked the movie and her part was just so heartbreaking and touching. Of course Mr howard was great as well.

Anonymous said...

Lol, sorry about the double post!
Don't know much about Taraji whatever cause I refuse to watch a pimp movie or another damn "In the Hood" drama until they are all about Spelling Bees and Scholastic Achievment. Maybe because I live and work in it, I don't get the fun Hollywood vicarious feeling others do.

That's a shame, it is actually a really good film about struggling with your conscience and trying to the right thing.
I don't usually watch those types of films either, but i had to see this one after seeing terrance in Hart's war. And trust me its amazing!
I really hated that pimp song though, but then i'm not really into rap.

cina said...

Hell, I'll join you, tbl. And make it two. At least.

The Chemistry Guru said...

Make it three! Indeed, how is one expected to survive the gyllendrought season. I hear zodiac is not coming out until next year. Damn!

Anonymous said...

If Zodiac doesn't come out til next year I'm burning something to the ground. WTF?! I thought it was coming out in September!

britpopbaby said...

Well, I'm still working on that Jake script we were talking about if the drought goes on for too long. So far he is naked in his bedroom...I think that's all it needs.

A stalking guide you say? Might set it up at a special JakeWatch myspace page because this place is getting slightly cramped!

cina said...

@tbl - oh we are going to cry alright. But I have a feeling we are going to be laughing a GREAT DEAL as well. I can't imagine having an endless amount of gin & tonics with you could be anything but a riot!

Jess said...

Nooooooo! Next year??! We have to wait til next year for Zodiac?! Now that's just too freakin' long. Is that the sad truth?

*sobbing uncontrollably*

britpopbaby said...

I've always wondering if the stuff people send him reaches him.

How funny would some big ass grotty looking trophy be? With 'Love from Jake Watch' scrawled on the side of it!

Nothing Really Matters said...

The Bearded Lady you are so funny.

Anonymous said...

I feel so sad. We're not going to see him do anything for the forseable future. All my hopes and dreams hinged on Zodiac with Jakey and The Ruffalo. Now, bupkiss. January 2007.

Fuckers.

Where's my gas can and matches?!

Jess said...

hey, squallcloud, when you find 'em, can you pass some over to me too?

Anonymous said...

but in yahoo.....:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809233125/details

Anonymous said...

Being a black girl myself who has fallen under the Gyllenhaal spell, I am insanely jealous of Taraji and Elise being anywhere in the vicinity of Jake. I will try to get over it because both are fine actresses and I would like to continue to enjoy their work

Anonymous said...

It's downright ridiculous how crazy this black Ole Babyboomer mama is over this man. It's sad really. I am SO jealous of Tariji...

Anonymous said...

I'm more jealous of Elyse cause she's closer... and hotter, but I digress. phoebe You know I got your back. What the fuck are we supposed to do now? I was only subsisting on these random pap shots because I just knew that right after the summer there would be new Jakey goodness now...

Reminds me of "Serenity" all over again. Reshoots? Bah! Yah I wouldnt' want to be the editor on that movie at all. Fincher seems undecisive. I rember when Jake thought he was joking after the first day and they had shot some scene like 60 times or something. How the hell do you sustain a good performance that many times?! I guess that's why they get that long money.

He needs to do some TV or something because even if he signs on to another movie tomorrow, we wouldn't see said movie until deep into 2007.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

Anonymous said...

jla, you just made me giggle like a loon just now. I love how you couldn't restrain yourself from pulling out the "sistahs" like it was a burp or something heee.

It's good to know that I'm not alone. "I think Jake Gyllenhaal is so damn fine." "Who the hell is Jake Gyllenhaal?" *pout-sigh* "Nevermind." The WWW is the best invention ever in the history of the world.

Anonymous said...

Anyone asking "Who the hell is Jake Gyllenhaal?" I am making it my personal mission to inform them. I have already turned four people at my job onto Jake who didn't have a clue who he was. We range in age from 22 -52 and are of various races. He is our inspiration at work. When we are stressed on a busy day we just pop up a picture of Jake and all is ok! The most exciting thing happened to me the other day when I found out my 64 year old cousin is a closet Gyllenhaal addict. We both agree that we loooove this fine white boy!!

Anonymous said...

I'll take two of those guides! Taraji needs to re-read hers cause the calm and collected part is not in evidence. lol

Jess said...

You know I got your back.

Thanks squallcloud, I knew I could count on you!

I'm just too damn upset about these Zodiac-news that I don't think I will be able to recover for a very long time...