Step 1: Smile as enthusiastically as possible at every moment to show you're really, really happy to be there. It shows you're a fun time kinda person, approachable or maybe on some pills. Either way, it's a winner - unless you have teeth like Shane MacGowan...then you might as well go home now.Step 2: Make like your extremely interested in anything your crush has to say. You may use my patented techinque - the bottom lip bite. Good, isn't it?
Step 3: Hypnotise your prey. That's easy for me to say with my baby blues but even those less blessed can manage it. Persistance is the key. Don't get too carried away though or it'll turn into some weird stare down and you'll have to leave.
Step 4: Joke time! You gotta make them laugh but with you not at you. An inoffensive anecdote will work well. You can recycle my 'Got arrested for stealing Speedos' story but you might want to scratch the Speedos part - I do.
Step 5: Going well? Of course it is! Now you can really test the water. Try a quick quip. Make it confident, maybe even slightly arrogant. Here I'm saying, "Can you see Uranus tonight? Can I?"
Step 6: Now you might want to try the 'Too Cool for School' vibe. No one likes the whiff of desperation so step back and act like you have somewhere else you have to be. Like the Jarhead premiere - actually, that line might not work for you.
Step 7: It's time to close the deal. I recommend the coy, 'Look, I don't usually do this but...would you like to come back to my house/hotel room/alley?". Badda bing!
Now students, use these tactics very wisely. I can't have thousands of folks running around, stealing my game all the time! Okay, you've cramped my style enough now, get outta here.