A. THE DA VINCI CODE
Crap book. Crap film. Yeah, you should look worried, Paul Bettany. I always thought Tom Hanks was a little too old to play Langdon. Could Jake have saved it?
B. KING KONG
I never saw it because Peter Jackson has taken away enough hours of my life, he wasn't getting another three. I heard it was okay but it didn't make an impact at the Oscars like everyone reckoned it would. Did it need some Jake?
C. RUMOR HAS IT...
I really want Jennifer Aniston to have a successful movie career because she is normal and nice and pretty and sweet. In The Good Girl she really proved what an incredible actress she is but she hasn't had much luck since. I'm not sure which role Jake would play in this film but lets just pretend they rewrote the whole movie so he could have sex with Jen again.
When shall we be saved from the Johnny Depp doppleganger that is Orlando Bloom? I know he's smokin' but the dude can. not. act. Add a squealing Dunster to the mix and britpopbaby is not a happy bunny. Would Jake have stopped the flop or would the vision of him and Kiki available to all on celliod have made us reach for the bucket?
E. HOUSE OF WAX
(I was going to superimpose Jake into all these pictures but then I got really hungry and had to go and eat Tomato Soup.)