What up? How's it going? Getting ready for Toronto? You know, I was thinking about you and me the other day. Remembering our first time and all. It seems like a lifetime ago now but I guess it really wasn't. In fact it was...
May 2006 - You were in New York, I was in Los Angeles, but damn, it was good. I made my first mark on your online world, in the process proving I had the chops to do this job...and that I'm possibly insane. I haven't had a cupcake that good since. And I saw some outside lockers which led to the first scene ever written for the first fake movie ever written* which is one of many reasons why our first time might just be my favorite.
And then there was the second time...
October 2006 - Yeah, there was a little more at stake that time. It was you and me in New York. With your mom. And your dad. Three Gyllenhaals, three strikes, and I was out. For better or worse, Time Two changed everything. Everyone remembers that time. The opinions, the controversy; it was downright scandalous.
I was hoping for better luck with Time Three...
March 2007 - Except this time when you were in New York and I was in LA, it wasn't quite as fun. There were a lot of cancellations and happy stories from the opposite coast and a weird appearance by Mark Ruffalo's brother. In fact, even more so than Time Two, I associate Time Three with crying and hysteria. What can I say? Stalking you is emotional.
How about Time Four?
July 2007 - The secret trip to New York! Ostensibly, I was there for work, but I stuck around for a few extra days to see if you would show up. When you didn't, I stalked Heath. His absence suggested that the two of you have clearly been talking avoidance tactics...
So, is the fifth time the charm?
All I'm saying is that people are starting to think that I'm pathetic...and I'm starting to not have an argument against them. So how about it, Jake?
September 2007 - You in Toronto. Me in Toronto.
One week from today. Let's make it happen. I will even make it super-easy for you because I have tickets to the Rendition screening and NOTHING ELSE TO DO but stalk you (and see movies, and look around Toronto, and see a friend of mine who lives there, and do other things). I'm in this, Jake. I'm willing to commit if you are. All you gotta do is meet me halfway (because I can't justify a sixth mission if there are five failures in a row...normal people would have quit by now!). I mean, no pressure or anything, but I'm starting to get embarrassed at how well you're avoiding me. Give me a picture, let me introduce myself, say, "Jake Watch?" in a voice feigning familiarity (it doesn't have to be real...you're an actor!) and I will be one happy camper. It won't take much. Really. I'm easy. Let's do this thing, because, uh, yeah. This is kinda it for me.
See you next week,
P.S. Karma, you owe me for Times 1-4 and for the deletion of the Jake in '08 MySpace page.
P.P.S. Jake Watch, at the very least I'll get you a sneak peak of the movie. :)
*Unlikely, but it sounds good.