Now, in recent months there has been a lot of whining going on regarding Jake's current choice of busom buddies. Personally, I don't get what you're bitching about - anyone who smokes weed, does yoga and plays the bongos naked is A.O.K in my books and Matthew McConaughey isn't too bad either. But, Jake Watch being the public service that it is, I guess we should take a moment to choose some new, more appropiate playmates for Jake. As soon as something gets the official Jake Watch seal of approval there can be no more complaints (ooo, that just gave me an idea!).
A. Snoop Doggy Dogg
Now you steppin' with Big G from Los Angeles
Where the helicopters got cameras
Don't think I'll be bikin' up mountains wit you Jake,
We're gonna chill by the pool wit my home-made cakes.
B. His Holiness The 14th Dali Lama of Tibet
Now that would make for some boring ass Pap pics.
C. Oceans 11 through 24
Clooney needs a new mac to ride with ever since Pitt and Damon got all sprogged up.
D. Paris Hilton and friends.
I can't remember who her friends are anymore but I sure know all about her enemies. Maybe Jake could help patch up that rift with Firecrotch and Skeletor. Or maybe not.
E. Lieutanent Dan and Forrest Gump.
Shrimp Boat Captain? Plenty of fresh air, exercise and well, shrimp. Sorry, I don't know what it is with me and Lieutanent Dan lately.
F. Tom Cruise
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. McBongo not looking so shoddy now, is he?