Monday, June 12, 2006

BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN

Holy Mother of Moses! How did this get past us? I'll give 'em credit - they're two of the more foxy bitches that have tried to get near the Gyllenhaal but dear god, they are scary! The one in green looks about ready to launch herself at him. Jake, bless his cotton ankle socks, looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights and like most of us when confronted by utter psychos is nervously laughing along, hoping for the best. I presume he managed to escape but if he didn't at least he got mauled by women with smoking bodies and glorious hair. God, maybe that's why they had metal handbags - to concuss him?

67 comments:

thesweetestone said...

omg, this girls look like they are having an orgasm...well, i cant blame them. To me they seem pushy and annoying, I dont think he takes them seriously so I dont think we need to wory about them ;-)

zoo said...

sweetest, did i ever thank you for your incredibly clear explanation on how to host and update my avatar? unfortunately it doesn't work because the picture is too big - and anyway, vanity compels to stick to Barbara Back.

now, these birds. they look a bit scary, don't they? clearly ready to mow anything down to get closer to ourjake.

zoo said...

Bach, not Back.

cina said...

As said above - who can blame them? But the still look ridiculously overexcited, can't deny that! LOL

zoo said...

I think what we need is the JakeWatch guide to How To Act Cool And Collected When You Meet Jake While At The Same Time Not Missing The Opportunity To Put Across Just Exactly How Much You Would Give To Get Into His Pants That Instant.

Obviously this is not the job for me.

beskyddaren said...

Those girls are so cute, not even trying to play it cool around the Gyllenhaal! Warms my heart. I think I'd even look away if they wanted to cop a feel of that precious Gyllenass I'm supposed to watch over... sorry Jake!

kokodee said...

Lmao!
Way to go ladies, show 'em how its done!

kokodee said...

By the way who are they??
I presume they are celebs/actresses too?

cina said...

I'd like to know who they are too.

If it's ok for two female celebs to act like that around The Gyllenhaal, then it should be ok for anyone! Those women are just too damn lucky to even come near him. God knows I never will be in that heavenly place. :-(

Nothing Really Matters said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nothing Really Matters said...

Clearly the girl in the cream dress is an expert at "BACK AWAY FROM MY MAN" Look how she is stopping the green girl in the first picture with her arm and then again in the second. Arm and handbag out stopping the green girl from moving in! See how the green girls arm is stopped mid air from the invisible barrier! Also cream girl is showing her disapproval of Jake even attempting to talk to green girl with a full flash of teeth.

cina said...

@NRM - maybe "cream girl" is one of us in the JakeWatch mafia...? Hehe.

only1annabel said...

Those girls are clearly expert stalkers! I think much can be learnt from them...dress like your a celeb, smile sweetly at security, swoop past and bang you've got yourself on the red carpet! Locate your target and pounce!!

bree said...

They are actors from the movie Hustle and Flow. Don't know their names, though. I remember seeing one of these pics in a mag after the SAG awards.

Prophecy Girl said...

Good call, bree. They are most definitely Hustle and Flow girls. When was this? You know they filmed that movie in Memphis and I went to the Memphis premiere...so does that mean I can add yet another way to six-degree myself to Jake?!? I mean, Jake wasn't there (obviously), but they were...this still doesn't excuse their behavior, though I give them credit for showing an appropriate level of fawning.

cina said...

It's probably from the SAG awards, like bree said. Or from the Oscars.

Anonymous said...

This photo is from the red carpet arrivals for the SAG Awards.

bree said...

Yeah, these were taken at the SAG awards - you can see the SAG emblem in the background of one of the photos. I love the bluey-green dress one of the girls is wearing. I'm going to smother by jealousy by being complementary...

Except it didn't work. I'm still jealous!

miffed67 said...

The green girl is Taraji Henson, I think her name is (who was EXCELLENT in Hustle and Flow, btw) but I don't know the cream girl's name. I loved that movie, but they both need to back away from my man! Sorry girls, he's taken!

wtbgirl said...

Those two need to Hustle and GO ... as in far, far away, from the Gyllenhaal.

Sorry - it's Monday, I coudn't help myself.

wtbgirl said...
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nice anonymous said...

I think the ladies are both praising Jake's performance in "Brokeback Mountain," even as they are clearly checking out the Gyllenhaal goods. At least they have the conversational gambit of their shared common profession of acting. If I ran into Jake, I'd want to look like they do. I mean, it doesn't get much better than that, does it? You're in a gown that costs thousands, you're styled to the teeth, you're made up as well as you'll ever be, your hair is fierce.

stupidmansuit said...

The girl in the cream dress' name is Elise Neal. Lol! They love him.

gin said...

I can't blame them at all for their obvious gushing of enthusiasm. I would convulse and foam at the mouth were I that close to Jakey. It's probably a good thing that I'll likely never meet him. It would be humiliating. :)

stupidmansuit said...

You and me both, gin! My mamma would hide her face in shame ;)

thesweetestone said...

Haha, Im suppoting the idea of JakeWatch guide. You know, we must train ourselves to be cool around him, that will shock and intrigue him (cause no girl has escaped his fatal effect- hey, not just girls, look at justin:-), and he will fall inlove. and we will live happily ever after, just jake and me...or should i say, jake and us:)
good idea, zoo!

squallcloud said...

"Hey I even make Black chicks cream! I'm on fiyah!"

Yes, Jake. Yes you do. and Yes Jake, Yes you are.

cina said...

^^ LOL!!

Diana Rigg said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
squallcloud said...

nothing really matters, you had me braying with laughter! You broke that picture down! I love Ellyse Neal. Don't know much about Taraji whatever cause I refuse to watch a pimp movie or another damn "In the Hood" drama until they are all about Spelling Bees and Scholastic Achievment. Maybe because I live and work in it, I don't get the fun Hollywood vicarious feeling others do.

I do like Elyse though. She's a sexy little minx and she has a "Pussy Cat Doll" ish burlesque show. I can only guess that instead of tits arayed prominantly hers is more focused on asses.

zoo said...

sweetest, I think it is a public service that Brit simply needs to provide.

jla said...

Yeah those are the Hustle and Flow girls and they usually come across very put together and saavy but around Jake they are reduced to typical fangirls! They do look fierce and take it from Foxxy Cleopatra, I know from fierce!!

Like NRM said, I do appreciate how Elise is kindly but effectively restraining Tarajii! Without her quick thinking to diffuse this situation it coulda really gotten out of hand!

Maybe Elise is a Jakes girl who trained as an actress and went deep undercover to infiltrate the industry all the while positioning herself to get close enough to Jake to save him from impending doom! And we call ourselves Jakes Girls? Now that's commitment people!! She is an inspiration and a role model for us all!!

BTW...Yes Jakes sexiness transcends all races, creeds, colors and nationalities! He could definitely have a future in politics! Jake could do wonders for international relations! I know everyone is up for relations with Jake!

twisted fate said...

Hey, that's taraji, from hustle and flow in that pic.
She was great, i really liked the movie and her part was just so heartbreaking and touching. Of course Mr howard was great as well.

twisted fate said...

Hey, that's taraji, from hustle and flow in that pic.
She was great, i really liked the movie and her part was just so heartbreaking and touching. Of course Mr howard was great as well.

twisted fate said...

Lol, sorry about the double post!
Don't know much about Taraji whatever cause I refuse to watch a pimp movie or another damn "In the Hood" drama until they are all about Spelling Bees and Scholastic Achievment. Maybe because I live and work in it, I don't get the fun Hollywood vicarious feeling others do.

That's a shame, it is actually a really good film about struggling with your conscience and trying to the right thing.
I don't usually watch those types of films either, but i had to see this one after seeing terrance in Hart's war. And trust me its amazing!
I really hated that pimp song though, but then i'm not really into rap.

The Bearded Lady said...

That girl in the green needs a sedative. Which one is she? (hustle or flow)

stupidmansuit said...

"Hey I even make Black chicks cream! I'm on fiyah!"

HELL YES!

The Bearded Lady said...

How are we to survive until Zodiac? I need a gin & tonic.

cina said...

Hell, I'll join you, tbl. And make it two. At least.

kokodee said...

Make it three! Indeed, how is one expected to survive the gyllendrought season. I hear zodiac is not coming out until next year. Damn!

The Bearded Lady said...

I've made an entire pitcher full... Grab one, and have a good cry with me....

squallcloud said...

If Zodiac doesn't come out til next year I'm burning something to the ground. WTF?! I thought it was coming out in September!

britpopbaby said...

Well, I'm still working on that Jake script we were talking about if the drought goes on for too long. So far he is naked in his bedroom...I think that's all it needs.

A stalking guide you say? Might set it up at a special JakeWatch myspace page because this place is getting slightly cramped!

cina said...

@tbl - oh we are going to cry alright. But I have a feeling we are going to be laughing a GREAT DEAL as well. I can't imagine having an endless amount of gin & tonics with you could be anything but a riot!

The Bearded Lady said...

Well being the proper Victorian lady I am . There is only one way to handle this situation. (besides drinking) I will enter a official mourning period. Black dress and vail. And I won't lift my vail (unless he wants to give me a kiss on the cheek) I'll be living in a black shroud until further notice...sob... sob

phoebe said...

Nooooooo! Next year??! We have to wait til next year for Zodiac?! Now that's just too freakin' long. Is that the sad truth?

*sobbing uncontrollably*

The Bearded Lady said...

Is there any awards left to entice him to appear? Will he attend the "Bloggy's"? Perhaps if we declare him world humanitarian or something?....I have a old bowling trophy I can have re-engraved....Tell him will have cheese and crackers , and all the boxed wine you can drink...

beskyddaren said...

^^^
tbl, LOL!!!

Katie of Sweden said...

Hehee.. yeah we should send him an engraved trophy...

britpopbaby said...

I've always wondering if the stuff people send him reaches him.

How funny would some big ass grotty looking trophy be? With 'Love from Jake Watch' scrawled on the side of it!

Nothing Really Matters said...

The Bearded Lady you are so funny.

The Bearded Lady said...

And a little note from all of us,....we know this isn't an Oscar... But you've won are hearts....danm I'm gonna pass out soon.

Simon Agent 002 said...

A virtual awards show...lol...via web..no cheesey jokes and recorded entertainment!

squallcloud said...

I feel so sad. We're not going to see him do anything for the forseable future. All my hopes and dreams hinged on Zodiac with Jakey and The Ruffalo. Now, bupkiss. January 2007.

Fuckers.

Where's my gas can and matches?!

Simon Agent 002 said...

Well they did so many takes and from the rumor mill, their in reshoots... I would'nt want to be the film editor digging though it all.

phoebe said...

hey, squallcloud, when you find 'em, can you pass some over to me too?

Lena said...

but in yahoo.....:

http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809233125/details

Dani said...

Being a black girl myself who has fallen under the Gyllenhaal spell, I am insanely jealous of Taraji and Elise being anywhere in the vicinity of Jake. I will try to get over it because both are fine actresses and I would like to continue to enjoy their work

mina said...

It's downright ridiculous how crazy this black Ole Babyboomer mama is over this man. It's sad really. I am SO jealous of Tariji...

squallcloud said...

I'm more jealous of Elyse cause she's closer... and hotter, but I digress. phoebe You know I got your back. What the fuck are we supposed to do now? I was only subsisting on these random pap shots because I just knew that right after the summer there would be new Jakey goodness now...

Reminds me of "Serenity" all over again. Reshoots? Bah! Yah I wouldnt' want to be the editor on that movie at all. Fincher seems undecisive. I rember when Jake thought he was joking after the first day and they had shot some scene like 60 times or something. How the hell do you sustain a good performance that many times?! I guess that's why they get that long money.

He needs to do some TV or something because even if he signs on to another movie tomorrow, we wouldn't see said movie until deep into 2007.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

jla said...

Oooh I love how the sistah's are representin our Jakey admiration! I promised I wasn't going to be all stereotypically cliche and call us sistah's but I know yall feel me on that one!! I am glad Taraji and Elyse are blazing the trail for us because they look damn good standing there next to Jake...gives a girl some hope!!

squallcloud said...

jla, you just made me giggle like a loon just now. I love how you couldn't restrain yourself from pulling out the "sistahs" like it was a burp or something heee.

It's good to know that I'm not alone. "I think Jake Gyllenhaal is so damn fine." "Who the hell is Jake Gyllenhaal?" *pout-sigh* "Nevermind." The WWW is the best invention ever in the history of the world.

Dani said...

Anyone asking "Who the hell is Jake Gyllenhaal?" I am making it my personal mission to inform them. I have already turned four people at my job onto Jake who didn't have a clue who he was. We range in age from 22 -52 and are of various races. He is our inspiration at work. When we are stressed on a busy day we just pop up a picture of Jake and all is ok! The most exciting thing happened to me the other day when I found out my 64 year old cousin is a closet Gyllenhaal addict. We both agree that we loooove this fine white boy!!

jla said...

squallcloud said...It's good to know that I'm not alone. "I think Jake Gyllenhaal is so damn fine."

Girl I know!! I feel like I have found my people here!! Most people I talk to about Jake just don't get it!!I mean WTF he is fine as hell..enough said! I'm like broaden your damn narrow minds!!

Dani said... I am making it my personal mission to inform them. I have already turned four people at my job onto Jake who didn't have a clue who he was.

Good Job sweetie!! I am doing my part to convert as many people as I can too!

Smurfeyshmoo said...

I think what we need is the JakeWatch guide to How To Act Cool And Collected When You Meet Jake While At The Same Time Not Missing The Opportunity To Put Across Just Exactly How Much You Would Give To Get Into His Pants That Instant.

I'm going to have to say that's basically the greatest name for any kind of guide, ever. Because you know it's exactly what is going through the mind of anyone within 20 feet of Jakey.

squallcloud said...

I'll take two of those guides! Taraji needs to re-read hers cause the calm and collected part is not in evidence. lol

phoebe said...

You know I got your back.

Thanks squallcloud, I knew I could count on you!

I'm just too damn upset about these Zodiac-news that I don't think I will be able to recover for a very long time...