Some people like to read their movie reviews in The Times, The Guardian or hell, even The Daily Mail (oh my god, did I actually try and make a British tabsheet newspaper gag? Yes! Yes I did!). Not me. I like to get my movie reviews from shallow red top weekly magazines that headline with titles like, "Posh's Life Falls Apart And Her Skin Looks Like Crap And She Is Wearing Crazy Shoes!". So imagine the thrill I got today when I went to pick up one of my favourite aforementioned mags, Heat, and stumbled upon a review for Rendition starring our very own, Bob Gunton.
Now, I was going to post the review here but at some point during the time I left my car and entered my house (distance: approx 2 feet), I managed to recycle said review. Jake would be proud as that officially makes me more enviromentally friendly than him. But here's what I remember:
There was a picture of Jake. They gave the movie 3 stars (out of 5). They said Jake's character was underwritten and he couldn't do much with it. They said Meryl Streep's character was nought but a pantomine villian, thus immediately making my brain jump to Cruella De Vil where upon it shall stay for some months and will inevitably ruin the movie for me as I vainly try to bat away images of dalmations, cockneys and long cigarettes.
What more do you want? Don't say we never provide you with in depth, thought-provoking actual career-related Gyllenfodder.