Instead (some might say "in desperation") I turned to my fellow stalkers at iheartjake.com. Perhaps they had some story of interest which I could cover in a satirical manner to distract from the egregious lack of quotage? Ah, there it was. The golden nugget of genealogical information: that Jake and Princess Diana are, like, freaking related (!). With excitement, I left-clicked...and found that the story had been taken from Wet Dark and Wild (you're everywhere!). So I left-clicked again...and found that the story had been reported by Cherita of Zen Gyllenhaalism. All of these (former?) Jake Watch readers are now flying the nest and striking out on their own...it warms the cockles of my heart to think how our little family is now begatting other little families. This convoluted, quasi-incestuous, online world of Jake fandom reminds me of something...what could it be?
Ah, yes. It reminds me of the convulted, quasi-incestuous fact that for PG, Years 18-22 were spent daydreaming of her ride into the sunset with Prince William. Prince William, who was later ditched for, and now just happens to be the direct blood relative of, Jake Gyllenhaal. I feel dirty, like I've possibly done something illegal. I hope I haven't caused too much tension within the royal family. I can imagine that earlier in history, my loyalty switch would have spawned wars (as opposed to new blogs).
Who discovered this intriguing link between Hollywood royalty and actual royalty? Richard K. Evans, who, for the hell of it, went back 12 generations in Princess Diana's lineage. To the surprise of none, Anderson Cooper is also a blood relation (why wouldn't he be?). To the surprise of many, my own lineage is not dissected in the book. Odd, since I am so pivotal in the newly created rift between the Gyllenhaals and the Spencers/Windsors.
Also odd is that the name of the book is, "The Ancestry of Diana, Princess of Wales, for Twelve Generations," since the Gyllenhaal connection is actually traced back 13 generations (14 to get to Wills, although it's 12 on the Gyllenhaal side...apparently the Swedes procreated at a slightly slower pace than the English).
What Jake would look like today if a mere 12 (or 13 or 14) generations of diverging lineage had not separated him from the British royal family.In conclusion, perhaps we will have a quote later in the week.
Honestly, though. 13 generations? I'm sure half of us could claim we were related to Princess Diana if we went back 13 generations. I wonder how many generations back the connection to Mitt Romney is? Oh, he made the list, too. Apparently they had to choose Presidential candidates on both sides of the aisle so as not to appear biased.
Seriously, hats off to Misty.