Well, drat.

Oh, dear. My super-secret stash of October Sky quotes has been compromised by Wet Dark and Wild. This is terribly disappointing as the website of young Misty was probably one of the only things I ever found in the Jake World before anyone else caught on (OK, I had help). She also once interviewed Jake, therefore making her the most successful fan site-runner in the history of Jake fan site-runners. As our foremother in Jake (her site was the very first), we should remember Misty and recognize that Misty's Jake Gyllenhaal Web Site is a direct internet ancestor to all of us who are around today. But seeing as how I have lost the element of surprise, I'm forgoing a Quote of the Week today so that I may ruminate on my quote options for the future. Speaking of ancestry...

Instead (some might say "in desperation") I turned to my fellow stalkers at iheartjake.com. Perhaps they had some story of interest which I could cover in a satirical manner to distract from the egregious lack of quotage? Ah, there it was. The golden nugget of genealogical information: that Jake and Princess Diana are, like, freaking related (!). With excitement, I left-clicked...and found that the story had been taken from Wet Dark and Wild (you're everywhere!). So I left-clicked again...and found that the story had been reported by Cherita of Zen Gyllenhaalism. All of these (former?) Jake Watch readers are now flying the nest and striking out on their own...it warms the cockles of my heart to think how our little family is now begatting other little families. This convoluted, quasi-incestuous, online world of Jake fandom reminds me of something...what could it be?

Ah, yes. It reminds me of the convulted, quasi-incestuous fact that for PG, Years 18-22 were spent daydreaming of her ride into the sunset with Prince William. Prince William, who was later ditched for, and now just happens to be the direct blood relative of, Jake Gyllenhaal. I feel dirty, like I've possibly done something illegal. I hope I haven't caused too much tension within the royal family. I can imagine that earlier in history, my loyalty switch would have spawned wars (as opposed to new blogs).

Who discovered this intriguing link between Hollywood royalty and actual royalty? Richard K. Evans, who, for the hell of it, went back 12 generations in Princess Diana's lineage. To the surprise of none, Anderson Cooper is also a blood relation (why wouldn't he be?). To the surprise of many, my own lineage is not dissected in the book. Odd, since I am so pivotal in the newly created rift between the Gyllenhaals and the Spencers/Windsors.

Also odd is that the name of the book is, "The Ancestry of Diana, Princess of Wales, for Twelve Generations," since the Gyllenhaal connection is actually traced back 13 generations (14 to get to Wills, although it's 12 on the Gyllenhaal side...apparently the Swedes procreated at a slightly slower pace than the English).

What Jake would look like today if a mere 12 (or 13 or 14) generations of diverging lineage had not separated him from the British royal family.

Honestly, though. 13 generations? I'm sure half of us could claim we were related to Princess Diana if we went back 13 generations. I wonder how many generations back the connection to Mitt Romney is? Oh, he made the list, too. Apparently they had to choose Presidential candidates on both sides of the aisle so as not to appear biased.

In conclusion, perhaps we will have a quote later in the week.

Seriously, hats off to Misty.