Sunday, July 01, 2007

The Second Campaign Scandal Hits HQ Hard

For the love of Ronald Weasley!!
Who went and released these frickin' pictures? Presidential candidate Jake Gyllenhaal moonlighting as bleedin' Harry Potter! We were having enough trouble thinking of ways to win over the Bible belt - now what the HELL are we supposed to do? Jesus Christ. Witchcraft is just not popular with any demographic...except Pagans.

Oh, I get it. This is LOW, Hillary, LOW.


Anonymous said...

Jake is very young in these pictures. We could simply say his Mother laid out his clothes for him. We can also say that she has successfully completed a course of treatment for deprogramming and now has a complete aversion to anything remotely connected to Harry Potter.

Anonymous said...

I don't think it was Hilary. Altho, I think she is a bit miffed that Chelsea has been lurking around Jake's campaign headquarters.

Anonymous said...

i saw this pics at IHJ yesterday. and was thinking the same thing! one can only hope he doesn't repeat his mistake at the next harry potter premiere. OR maybe we could trick bill into making the same mistake. I wonder at the possible headlines...

call me cherita said...

Blaming Jake's sartorial dysfunction (that's not just a red shirt, it's a red polo with a tie...even I have some limits) on Naomi would be unfair and misleading. We've all seen pictures of Stephen with sneakers that made his son's look totally bland by comparison. I think the whole thing is a boon to his image, if you view it properly. Imagine a 21-year-old with the self-confidence to be photographed acting like a fanboy over Harry Potter! The kid's got guts, I tell you, and always had. This demonstrates his longstanding fortitude and strength of conviction, and says he will not be persuaded by the opinions of others but will stand up to do the right thing. We salute you and your Harry Potter lovin' little heart, Jake!

Anonymous said...

Look for candidate Jake to start using/shilling for the new iphone for Apple!!

Anonymous said...

But I think Hilary started the rumor that Jake has a "crush" on Jessica Simpson. Very low Hilary!

cina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cina said...

LMFAO!! The "glasses"!! Hehee!

only1annabel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
only1annabel said...

I'm quite the Harry Potter fan myself so I say stay out of the closet Jake! Although that polo shirt and tie can disappear!

Anonymous said...

Actually,Jake looks like a dorky, policy wonk type person. Tho he has an endearing smile.He just doesn't look "Presidential." He looks like someone who might work for a President, but not "BE" a President. I liked BAFTA'07 Jake for looking Presidential...altho the Jake who was doing late night talk shows to promote Zodiac, especially the looks of
Letterman!Jake (outside with that grey scarf around his neck and the tie and the "ear curl") and Jon Stewart!Jake, was awfully persuasive looking. He sure persuaded me! I think whatever we do, we have to force Jake to project a sexy image. I know it might be difficult....but let's try...that might cause people to forget about this Jake.

Anonymous said...

Thanks God. He is grown up and probably now he has a personal stylist! His sister doesn´t have yet!

Anonymous said...

I love how you drew on wonky specs rather than photo shopping a real pair. Altho' come to think of it that might be a task that challenged the ingenuity of the photo shop queen PG.

Anonymous said...

That photo is f*ckin' hilarious - as Joyce said, love the "wonky specs." Jake would have made a good Harry, although I think Daniel is totally adorable. :)

-from coffeecat33
google won't let me log in >:(

Lauren said...


This wardrobe malfunction is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation!

Becky Heineke said...

Believe it or not, that is a real pair of glasses! The only way they would fit on Jake's face was to make them a little lopsided, but it's true that the actual glass part of them proved more trouble than I was willing to deal with. :) The scar is a genuine Harry Potter scar, though. I'm sort of amazed at how well it fits up on his forehead...

Unknown said...

Poorly chosen apparel aside, my biggest concern is that our man has unleashed his biggest weapon on to an unsuspecting American populous too early in this campaign. Look... THE TONGUE IS OUT!

Jakey, Jakey save that for the primaries

heddaparsons said...

Hilary had better pay more attention to Obama who at this moment has raised more $$$ for his campaign than her, never mind Jake and his Harry Potter obsession!!!

Anonymous said...

Hug Suzie says:

ROFLMAO! How could I have missed the Tongue??! Thanks for pointing that out Suzie, but I think you're right, it's way too soon for the Tongue. That's a powerful vote-getter right there, his people are not minding him as well as they should.... shame on them!

Anonymous said...

I love this picture. He is adorable! I just want to DO things to him...I want to pinch his cheeks,and ruffle his hair, and kiss him, and hug him and do other meaningful things...

Anonymous said...

Maybe Jake was going through an Avril Lavigne faze. Who knows.

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