Another Jake Watch Exclusive
From The Ikea Self-Assembly Bureau of britpopbaby
The mysterious relationship of Reese Witherspoon and Jake 'Air Gunner' Gyllenhaal has been grabbing headlines since their rumoured romance exploded into the nation's conscience in early 2007, surpassing any concerns the general citizen had for the Iraqi war, global warming and Jennifer Aniston. The hot fling has now garnered more column inches than discussion regarding Britney Spear's hair regrowth, with everyone from Perez Hilton to Prophecy Girl throwing in their unsolicted opinion. Tony Blair was even overheard in The House of Commons saying, 'Biotches stole MY moment'.
But the lack of pictorial pashing and silence from Jake's manager, ex-East end villian turned loveable Hollywood rogue, Frank Boulevard, gossipmongers, fangirls and fangays alike were mighty suspicious of the hook-up.
Now Jake Watch can reveal whats really been happening as Frank Boulevard grants us access to Jake Gyllenhaal's blackberry, in an attempt to set the record straight.
"People have got it all wrong,' says Frank, 'of course they're deeply in love, but it's more than that...they're opening a traditonal London Caff together'. Frank explains that Jake's long-established love of food and cookery took an unusual turn when Witherspoon admitted to him that she secretly harboured a love of British cuisine. 'His face dropped, like a foot, when Reese told him she adored nothing more than going home after a long day's shooting and firing up the chip pan and gridle. Jake said he liked baked beans but he'd never taken it any further. She persuaded him to try a Ploughman's and after that, well he was 'ooked. You could say he got himself into a right Branston's pickle about it! Ahahahha! I kill meself'.
It was some weeks after this revelation that Gyllenhaal and Witherspoon decided to celebrate their newly found common ground by opening a traditional British-style cafe. A source close to the couple said, 'Jake has always dreamed of opening his own restaraunt, he just never imagined he'd been be doing it with the woman of his dreams...or that 'Spotted Dick' would come into the equation'.
The 'Gyllen Spoon' Cafe will be opening next month in Beverly Hills. Rumour is, the pair are currently recruiting staff - experience with lard is essential.