So today, I would like to explore the possibility that Jake, perhaps, has certain powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Yes, I'm talking about:
Jake Gyllenhaal: The Multitasker!
I ran across this amazing series of pictures at IHJ and was shocked, nay, astounded at what I saw.
January 30, 2005. We start off casually enough. Jake, in the standard grey hoodie/dark glasses combo, carries not one but two bags of groceries. No small feat, but no act of God (yet).
What...is that a bottle of Snapple in his hand? Both bags go up (let's take a moment to reflect on the Gyllenhaal biceps, shall we...and we're good) and the tongue is out!
Then things start to move really quickly. The tongue goes in, the bags are switching from two hands to one hand, the Snapple bottle is seemingly gone but in reality hidden behind a flurry of hand/bag movement....my God, will he pull this off?
Amazing! Somehow he has secured both bags in a single hand while the Snapple bottle now has a hand and an upper arm all to itself! And nothing was dropped! There you have it, folks. Proof that Jake is no ordinary man!(Ten bucks says McConaughey would have had Snapple all over the parking lot.)
30 comments:
Prophacy girl, can we keep you? You're hysterical!
McConaughey can't hold a candle to Jake in my opinion! ;-)
we are sick, sick people!
But God I adore him.
Seeing him like that...all hooded and struggling with his grocery bags and his Snapple, sticking his tongue out, concentrating...I just want to hug him!!! At least we could start with hugs....
Wow! It' some sort of magical illusion isn't it? Holding 2 grocery bags all the while holding onto a bottle of Snapple!?!? The man can do no wrong.
Proof of bad taste in women of Matthew M: he dated Penelope Cruz, the same annoying Spanish actress who dated Tom Cruise before. Jake has far better taste in women, if only he met me someday ;)
If they ever have an Olympic category for "Appearing in public places while carrying your food in a paper bag AND juggling a beverage on the side", then our boy Jake would win the Gold medal every time!!! God knows, he get plenty of practice.
Not everyone can pull off the Unibomber look. However, I do believe on Jake it works!
I'd say Jake is showing off some amazing skills there, yes - for a man. ;-)
Under that grey hoody lurks the Jake's Jarhead body. The pictures were taken around Jan. 05 and I thank he was either filming or starting to film Jarhead. He was very muscular at the time so handling two shopping bags is no problem when you've been lifting weights. I didn't care for the Jarhead haircut very much but that body was to die for.
His feet are cut off in the pictures but he was also walking on water at the time. ;)
PG you would be very rich now my friend!
LOL.
Just LOL.
Jake was so self concious about his dome when he was filming Jarhead. He's so precious. I love his insatiable need for yummy raspberry tea. I get like that too Jakey!
Yep that's our man he can't do no wrong ;)
@gin LOL
lol gin! very moonlight mile :)
hey PG, submission for sock watch--check out the black socks + slippers combo in this series!
http://www.iheartjakemedia.com/displayimage.php?album=165&pos=0
Hahaha I love it. This is one of the many many reasons I couldn't be a celeb - imagine performing such complicated manoeuvres while knowing there's 10 paps taking a pic a second. I would definitely have Snapple all over the carpark floor.
Devine, that's all there is to it, devine!!
Oooh, Smurfette, nicely done! We'll have to crop out his dining partner so as not to start a war. Where is my mind this morning? I was trying to save that as "sock watch" and I typed "cock watch." Bad, PG!!
^^Heee, PG, talk about Freudian slip!
And as for the OP: brilliant PG, just brilliant! MAN you're good. LMFAO!!
Bet McConaughey sees this and runs snivelling home to his mother:
"Mummy, Mummy, that Jake Gyllenwhatsit can stick out his tongue AND rub his tummy at the same time! I can't even pronounce his name without having to go for a lie-down. I'll never get that Oscar!" :(
Such is life, Matthew.
PG a one track mind!
re: cock watch. hahahaha, that should be a new feature, starting with the famous blue shorts hehehe...
gin said: His feet are cut off in the pictures but he was also walking on water at the time. ;)
LOL! Are you implying that we're getting too enthusiastic about Jake's talents? ;-)
(But if you study the recent pap shots very carefully you'll see that he is often walking on water these days too. ;-))
PG, this was a brilliant post! I tell you, today was a totally crappy day, but a few minutes visiting JW and I'm grinning and giggling like a silly fool!
Sigh! Too too funny!
"Mummy, Mummy, that Jake Gyllenwhatsit can stick out his tongue AND rub his tummy at the same time! I can't even pronounce his name without having to go for a lie-down. I'll never get that Oscar!" :(
LOL!!!!!
re: cock watch. hahahaha, that should be a new feature, starting with the famous blue shorts hehehe...
AMEN, smurfette!!!
LOL
"I think you should talk to the Olympics people. Tell them we want Jake to win a medal and we want it NOW."
He would, of course, be wearing his Gold medal when he is photographed during the "Sexiest Man Alive" photo shoot. Not that he needs public validation of incredible hotness. He knows how we feel <3
Great site loved it alot, will come back and visit again.
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I love your website. It has a lot of great pictures and is very informative.
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