Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The Wheelie Bin Ate My Homework

Some people like to read their movie reviews in The Times, The Guardian or hell, even The Daily Mail (oh my god, did I actually try and make a British tabsheet newspaper gag? Yes! Yes I did!). Not me. I like to get my movie reviews from shallow red top weekly magazines that headline with titles like, "Posh's Life Falls Apart And Her Skin Looks Like Crap And She Is Wearing Crazy Shoes!". So imagine the thrill I got today when I went to pick up one of my favourite aforementioned mags, Heat, and stumbled upon a review for Rendition starring our very own, Bob Gunton.

Now, I was going to post the review here but at some point during the time I left my car and entered my house (distance: approx 2 feet), I managed to recycle said review. Jake would be proud as that officially makes me more enviromentally friendly than him. But here's what I remember:

There was a picture of Jake. They gave the movie 3 stars (out of 5). They said Jake's character was underwritten and he couldn't do much with it. They said Meryl Streep's character was nought but a pantomine villian, thus immediately making my brain jump to Cruella De Vil where upon it shall stay for some months and will inevitably ruin the movie for me as I vainly try to bat away images of dalmations, cockneys and long cigarettes.

What more do you want? Don't say we never provide you with in depth, thought-provoking actual career-related Gyllenfodder.

8 comments:

Cherita said...

I really wouldn't concern yourself over a movie review anyway. Most movie reviews are only fit for the recycle bin to start with, regardless of the name on the banner, and that's where it likely belonged. I make my own judgments, and am looking forward to doing so on this film.

So, did you watch Film 2007?

Anonymous said...

I watched it and JR called Rendition an accomplished and compelling filming, he seemed to really like. There was a short interview with Jake. IHJ may have it up soon.

Cherita said...

Hope we'll see PG in here soon to prep for Conan. Anyone want to open betting on whether Jake wears the same pinstriped suit and blue shirt with fine crosshatch pattern? :D

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ I have so prepped! I even used a picture of the suit in question without even realizing you'd written this (although it's from yesterday). :)

And also, I'm glad I already saw Rendition because the Cruella De Vil imagery is TOTALLY sticking with me.

Cherita said...

LOL! Well, I've seen more snippets of reviews than I'd ever care to do before a movie, so that little image won't be my main impediment to sinking in to this story. I just hope I don't hate the movie. That would be depressing.

shondra said...

I've learned a long time ago to ignore movie critics. I'm looking forward to Rendition this Friday.

BeABee said...

"They said Meryl Streep's character was nought but a pantomine villian, thus immediately making my brain jump to Cruella De Vil where upon it shall stay for some months and will inevitably ruin the movie for me as I vainly try to bat away images of dalmations, cockneys and long cigarettes."

LOL!

Anonymous said...

bpb: fyi!

From IMDb

"Jake is on ITV's tomorrow, not live in the studio but being interviewed by the lovely Alison Hammond (who is hilarious, so undoubtedly it will be a very funny interview!)"