Friday, October 12, 2007

Friday Night with Jonathan Ross With Guest Star Jake Gyllenhaal As Live-Blogged By britpopbaby Exclusively for Jake Watch

Pre-amble.

Huzzah! Jake has arrived in London; city of cities and questionable Olympic infrastructure spenditure. And thank god he did arrive as it's kind of essential to tonight's post. Nice to see him still using public transport as opposed to propelling himself across the Atlantic on the gusts of his own ego and a flock of underprivileged children as I hear Brangelina like to do.
Pictured above is Jake arriving at Thiefrow (I wonder whose luggage he came away with?). Also pictured is his date that he took to the LA Rendition premiere. I mean, I'm not one for gossip but surely international travel and a red carpet renedvouz in the same week leaves little room for speculation, no?

Well, it's now just two hours until Jake airs himself on BBC1. The other guests include Peter Andre & Jordan who are famous for being orange and tacky, and Jools Holland who was kind of cool in the 80s. And I apologise in advance, as Ambassador of Anglo-Gyllenhaal Relations, for everything Jonathan Ross says. Excited?

Lets rumble...

22.33: Fiona Bruce informs me I can now watch Newsnight over on BBC2. I'm good, thanks.

22.37: Roll credits. I will warn you, Jonathan Ross's studio looks like a crack den for autistic children.

22.38: YES!!!! The Poofs have Jake on their t-shirts!

22.40: Green room. Jake is in there, thank god. Ross makes first Brokeback Mountain jibe. Ass. Jake doesn't really find it that funny. Fortunately we all quickly move on...unfortunately to Jordan and Peter Andre.

22.46: Jake enters, stage left. The Poofs sing Jake the Peg. Inappropiate somehow.

22.47: As soon as Jake sits down Jonathan compliments him on his "manly beard."

22.48: Jonathan asks Jake about his carbon footprint and how being an international jetsetter might impact quite heavily on that. Jake says, "I swam here." Then says he has to go because he needs to swim back.

22.49: Jake adds, "I would swim the Atlantic for the enviroment." I somehow don't believe him.

22.50: Jake says he likes The Poofs t-shirts. Which have his face on them.

22.51: Talks moves on to Brokeback Mountain and Jake says he thinks Jonathan might be gay. Then we are treated to the golden nugget of info that Clint Eastwood has never told Jake what he thinks of Brokeback Mountain.

22.52: Jake is now miming swimming the Atlantic whilst laughing.

22.53: Clip of CITY SLICKERS! Yeah, bitches!

22.53: Quick discussion about whether City Slickers could be considered child abuse.

22.54: Jake states that shoulder popping is erotic.

22.55: We move onto some serious talk about Rendition before Jake randomly asks of Jonathon, "Weren't you offered Meryl Streep's part?"

22.56: Clip of Rendition is shown and as we cut back I swear I hear Jake tell Jonathan he's disappointed that his suit wasn't more colourful.

22.57: Jake says he found food in Marakesh "intense" before going on to say it was mostly rice and cous cous. Jonathan then asks about airplane food and Jake says he wouldn't know because he swims everywhere.

22.58: Jonathan calls Maggie a "hot patootie". Jake is confused.

22. 59: Jonathan asks Jake about his love life on behalf of the ladies and the band. Jake says he's single for the ladies but not for the band. They look a little put out.

23.00: Jake leaves. No mention of Presidential campaign. Fuck you, Ross.



23.15: Jake looks bemusedly at Jordan and Peter Andre as they walk past him in the Green Room.

23.19: I hope Jake brought a pack of cards with him so he doesn't have to watch these four tits.

23.20: (Retraction) Jake just laughed at Jordan's joke. I'm sorry, I now have to jump out a window.

23.22: Jake eagerly offers to be a witness to the fact that Peter Andre just offered Jonathan a "go on his wife." Did you think it would be the BBC that brought out the lewd in sweet, sweet Jake?

23.23: Jake laughs heartily at Jordan's statement that she'd "finish [Jonathan] off quickly." Oh god, WHAT HAPPENED HERE?

23.30: Jake is shocked by Jordan trash-talking Posh S[ice. Obviously a big fan.

23.32: Jake is entertained by Jonathan's talk of a "family wank".

23.35: It's all over. I feel dirty. I hope Jake does too. At least he has that swim home to cleanse himself.

92 comments:

felicia said...

Excited and waiting with bated breath!! :-)

Now what do we call this new 'ship? Jinder (Jake + Minder)?

Anonymous said...

Gah I'm so excited about Jonathan Ross tonight...shame Jordan and Peter are on too cos god knows what Jake will make of those two!!
I hope he's entertaining as he is on American talk shows, hopefully he'll get Ross's randomness!
I'm gonna have me a Southern Comfort and lemonade to calm my nerves while I bask in the Gyllenhaal's beauty!

only1annabel

claire said...

Oh wet myself, I'm probably less than 10 miles away from Jake right NOW, who knows what i'd be like if I was in the same room as him!!

Anonymous said...

Plus they're both wearing backpacks. You know what that means, they're in love hunnerd percent.

LOL.

Cherita said...

Nice to see him still using public transport as opposed to propelling himself across the Atlantic on the gusts of his own ego and a flock of underprivileged children as I hear Brangelina like to do.

Oh my, I can't stand it. This is gonna be too good. You're already in top form. :)

I apologise in advance, as Ambassador of Anglo-Gyllenhaal Relations, for everything Jonathan Ross says

In that case, whose job is it to apologize to all the Brits for the dumb shit Jake is bound to say? LOL!

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ Ha! That was so my thought. He'll be jet-lagged, too, so you know he's going to be in rare form. :D

Anonymous said...

They just had a brief interview with Jake on the BBC1 news.

Anonymous said...

the last time he was on - ross kept banging on about how big Jakes head was. Jake didnt look impressed.

Cherita said...

So Brits, did you jot off for a freshener, or can you tell us what the picture on the shirts is? Is it attractive or one of Jake's bizarre faces? What was Jake doing in the green room? Did he look dazed?

claire said...

I am just in the process of trying to find some software to convert the file that is recording the show on my pvr to avi so I can upload to t'internet. If it works, anyone who cant see the show should be able to view it in a couple of hours time (IF i can get it to work!)

Cherita said...

Good luck, Claire! I'm switching from the lappy to the desktop, as this thing is crawling. I suspect JW has a much bigger audience right now than just those of us who are speaking up.

claire said...

They have Jake on their t-shirts!!

Prophecy Girl said...

Claire, YAY!!! You're awesome. And yeah, we seem to be running a bit slowly right now. Ah, the thrill of the live blog! It's weird to be on this side of things and not have any idea what's going on... :)

Cherita said...

Jake adds, "I would swim the Atlantic for the enviroment." I somehow don't believe him.

I can't imagine why. ROFL! This is too good.

chestnut said...

Excuse me, what is the green room? Is it backstage?

Cherita said...

Okay, so, about that thing I said before? Who has to accept responsibility for Jake's comments? I guess I'll offer to do it. I'm sorry, Britannia.

perky pia said...

Jake who? Never heard of him!

Anonymous said...

I'll be honest Jake's beard concerned me but then he turned on the charm and put me at ease! My fave quote of his would have to be "Jonathan I don't fly, I swim!"

What a legend and he said he was single...woo!! If he said it on Jonathan Ross it must be true, yeah?!

only1annabel

Anonymous said...

I hope this is better than it sounds, I don't find it very special. :( Is Jonathan off his game tonight, or whut?? He should just stick to the questions we sent him, dummy!

britpopbaby said...

Sorry, it all happened so fast I had to take notes and then type it up. Professional, reponsible journalism.

Prophecy Girl said...

Chestnut, yes. It's where he would sit waiting to go on. :)

Seriously! What about his album?! ;D

Prophecy Girl said...

Oh, it's over already? That was...fast.

Prophecy Girl said...

ALL THOSE E-MAILS AND NOTHING?! I'm so not at all surprised.

Anonymous said...

Excuse me, what is the green room? Is it backstage?

Chestnut, The Green Room is what they call the room that guests wait in, before they go on, when they are appearing on TV, talk shows, etc....

britpopbaby said...

On the Jonathan Ross show they make all the guests wait in The Green Room throughout the show and they have a camera in there. They cut back randomly to the other guests during other people's interviews.

Cherita said...

Really, PG. You'd think he could at least have commented on how bloody annoying Jake's fans are.

Maybe something else will happen. How long's the show?

chestnut said...

Thanks for all the explanations about the 'green room'.

Cherita said...

(Retraction) Jake just laughed at Jordan's joke. I'm sorry, I now have to jump out a window.

ROFLMAO!

Cherita said...

*hysterical*

Cherita said...

Jake is entertained by Jonathan's talk of a "family wank"

*blink*
*blink*

Are we speaking of a noun here, or a verb?

Prophecy Girl said...

It's actually over now and not over like I thought it was earlier? Let me be the first to say that that was AWESOME, brits. Your words are being copied and pasted all over Jakedom as we speak.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, THANKS bpb, I've been looking forward to this all day! And as far as I know, yours was an exclusive!! Way to go Jake Watch!!!

Cherita said...

Wow, I can't believe it's over. Excellent job, BPB. I don't think I could have enjoyed that as much if I'd been watching it myself. :)

britpopbaby said...

My pleasure! Jonathan actually wasn't being as rude tonight as he usually is but I still think he shocked poor Jake. I think he was laughing out of fear. If you get to see Jordan, you'll know why.

chestnut said...

Thanks bpb!
I hope someone will upload the show on the net so I can watch it, too. But I'm always glad if there's something like a transcript, cause English is a foreign language to me and sometimes I don't understand half of what they are saying.

Cherita said...

Chestnut, your English is better than much of what I've seen just today online.

Anonymous said...

Happy as I am Jake was finally on some British tele I have some complaints;

the interview was well short - they just seemed 2 race through it, we had no time 2 bask in all the Jakeyness,

why oh why did they have 2 put him on with Jorden and Peter??- if nything was gonna put the poor guy of britain 4 gd it was those 2,

why can't Jake follow trend settin Ross and shave off the beard?-the wolverine look is not a gud one


By the way this blog is brilliant I could neva be this inventive in stalkin...I mean keepin up with what Jakes up too

Anonymous said...

why can't Jake follow trend settin Ross and shave off the beard?

Needs it for "Brothers".

Leyla said...

I want a youtube vid of the dirty wank talk! PLEEEEEAAAASE?? Wet Dark and Wild put up the rest (thank you!) but I want to see the naughty too...

BirdGirl said...

I'm sorry I missed the live Blog. Great job Brit!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm,

So, Jake thinks that long hair and flamboyant clothes = GAY.

Not surprising since he felt it necessary to dress in drag to honor his UNIQUE FAN-BASE on SNL.

Sorry to see Jake buys into these
steriotypes!

Anonymous said...

Pretty sure both were jokes.

Anonymous said...

Loved it, just checking on a UK based site, and all are commenting on how lovely, smart and funny Jake was. Shame he Presidential campaign wasn't mentioned, but you can't have everything

claire said...

Sorry guys but I was having real trouble trying to convert the file last night, I got too stressed so went to bed instead! I'll give it another go today - at worst, I'll just have to upload the file somewhere and you can download but will need to download videolan or something to view .ts files.

I'm trying my best here!!

Anonymous said...

Needs it for "Brothers"

Oh whats brothers??

Anonymous said...

Natalie Portman has signed on to star alongside Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhaal in Jim Sheridan's love-triangle drama "Brothers" for Relativity Media.
Based on Susanne Bier's 2004 Danish-language film, story centers on a man (Maguire) who is sent to fight in Afghanistan while his black-sheep brother (Gyllenhaal) cares for his wife (Portman) and child.


Variety, Oct 2, 2007

Anonymous said...

'black-sheep brother (Gyllenhaal)'

ooh black sheep eh? does this mean Jake's playin a baddie?? very nice-even if he does have 2 keep the beard

heddaparsons said...

I'm finally getting around to commenting on BP's brilliant live blogging of the Ross show, great work!!! No mention of the campaign or the album, well we still have the US shows, fingers crossed!

Anonymous said...

Give me a break trolls at 3:14 AM and 1:37 PM.

Anonymous said...

On behalf of those of us who missed the interview last night...please someone take pity on us and upload the clip...am turning blue from holding my breath...thank ye kindly
magichappening

Anonymous said...

Part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vB2RWMbt5tw

Part 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57P2AYS4lQI

Anonymous said...

Sir/madam, you are a gentleman/lady and a scholar. I am eternally grateful for the links on youtube...although is it just me or has an elephant sat on Jake and Jonathan?
magichappening

Anonymous said...

You are welcome!

has an elephant sat on Jake and Jonathan?

LOL
No, just small technical difficulties in video editing (I presume).

claire said...

Phew! Glad someone else sorted that out, my computer was crashing all over the place trying to do it. It could just about cope with the short clip on the news earlier on.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=XaA-Q50yyqQ

Anonymous said...

well damn...I was hoping your clip would restore Jake and Jonathan to less flattened proportions in my mind's eye claire...but although be-bearded twas a funny clip

magichappening

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
Sir/madam, you are a gentleman/lady and a scholar. I am eternally grateful for the links on youtube...although is it just me or has an elephant sat on Jake and Jonathan?
magichappening

5:32 PM BST

I'm a lady, a young lady at that, and it was my pleasure. If you search Youtube, you'll find all sort of things on Jake, recent and old, so happy searching ;). I always download everything I find of Jake, everything I don't find at IHJ of course. TTFN

Anonymous said...

Thanks for uploading the video, Claire. I just downloaded it because my computer was acting up. Anyways, short, but good. TTFN ;)

Anonymous said...

Looks like Jake has already left.

http://iheartjake.suddenlaunch.com/index.cgi?board=Pictures&action=display&num=1192304088

ny agent said...

Thanks so much for the live blogging Brit, it was blast to read!

ghost of elvis said...

Ladies and gentleman, Jake has left the UK!!
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/16400743.html

Anonymous said...

^^ Uh, Jake, my friend.... you're swimming to NYC in that get up!?

Anonymous said...

I adore my Jakey, but I'm glad he's headed home, bcz, IMHO, this was a wasted trip. Don't much care for that JR show. They should have done a transatlantic hook up...Jake could ah ve phoned it in.
I hope he restes and freshens up and looks smoking hot for his U.S. appearnces. I think JR is a bit of an arse.

Anonymous said...

Hey, For everyone that is in the UK, Jake's on Film 2007 on BBC1 next Tuesday the 16th at 11-05pm, and on the Culture Show BBC2 27TH October 7-10 OR 7-20pm.

get real said...

Brits, thanks for the fantastic live blogging! Loved it.

PG, thanks for fixing the JW forum!

Xenia said...

That was great BPB, thank you! Your style is inimitable!:)

britpopbaby said...

Jake needs to do the Graham Norton show. Now THAT would leave your eyes watering.

The best thing is, Graham ultilizes the internet to great effect as seen here, with Orlando Bloom:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujlG4U4xVu0

Puts everything in perspective!

And another for laughs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hGtvNoOR4Y

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