Thursday, May 03, 2007

THERE'S A SPECIAL PLACE IN HEAVEN FOR AGENTS WHO MAIL THESE

It's Jake Watch Craft Time! We thought we'd continue this tradition after the wildly successful Valentine's Day project. Today's exercise in creativity is called:

Fun With Boo And The U.S. Postal Service!

Instructions:
1. Click on the pictures below to see the full-sized versions. Save these to your computer.
2. Print off both pictures (make sure they're 4"x6") on cardstock and paste the two blank sides together. Instant postcard!
3. Check appropriate box.
4. Sign your name (or someone else's).
5. Affix stamp (before May 14th in the U.S. to avoid the postal rate hike!).
6. Put in mailbox.

BACK:

FRONT:
And there you have it! It's pre-printed, pre-addressed, and pre-approved by Jake Watch, so anyone with a printer and a stamp can now help us get to the bottom of this mystery! We're not actually kidding on this one. SEND IT! It's the right address and everything.* We even left lots of room in case you have to stick on an air mail sticker. You're not getting out of this just because you don't live in the United States...

(Yes, we did do Boo on a milk carton before, but we had to do a quick edit job on that since the original mentioned Ben Stein and this is probably going to be confusing enough for the recipients as it is.)

Jake, meanwhile, is working hard to distract us from what is really important here:
Doth mine eyes perceive a faux-hawk?! God, Gyllenhaal. It's like you're psychically tapped into all my quirks and fetishes. Now can you stop being so goddamned irresistible so we can get back to concentrating on your dog?

Agents, get to work!

* Thank you, Katie, for finding CAA's new address!

And thank you IHJ for your endless supply of Jake pictures.

66 comments:

call me cherita said...

You put that picture of The Sex in the shirt in front of us, and you expect us to remember our names, much less how to use a printer, glue stick and stamps??? Be realistic.

Anticipated response via CAA:
We're sorry, but we don't comment on Jake's personal life. Yes, this includes his four-legged family members. P.S. Don't you people have anything better to worry about? Global warming? The war in the Middle East? Who will win the current American Idol? Go away.

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ I think you overestimate their response. ;) It's more of an attention-getter. I can't actually believe Jake showed up looking like that yesterday. It's a no-win situation because that's all anyone's going to talk about anyway...he always ruins our posts. :D

ncwoman said...

Oh I am SO going to do this! To hell with what CAA thinks of me!

BTW, Cherita and PG....

ROFLMAO!!!!!

joycedavenport said...

Hey PG- so you mean it wasn't your campaign advice on how the porstache would affect the polls for 'Jake in '08' that made him shave. Damn- maybe he does read JW and IHJ after all...

This will certainly do in lieu of a towel pic reprint.

cina said...

PG - how did I know this was your post? LMAO! ;)

Stupido said...

Could someone please explain to me what a faux-hawk is or where it is in the picture?
TIA

pink mist said...

PG, the postcard is hysterical! But yeah, what can you do, Jake will steal your thunder effortlessly if and when he so pleases, just by walking down a street...Boo who?

joycedavenport said...

I need help. I have just spent time stroking the V of Jake's shirt and the little bit of hair showing there with the hand cursor you get when you move over the picture.

There is no hope.

Anonymous said...

This is very cute! :)

JOYCEDAVENPORT said...

Hey the hand cursor thing is fun! You can trace the outline of his jaw and lips and stick your finger up his nose...

Well he does it!

Prophecy Girl said...

Check here for more faux-hawks. It's when you style your hair into a mohawk-like configuration without actually cutting it. For some completely ridiculous reason, I love them.

Joyce, you are 100% right! As head of his campaign, I did send Jake a list of acceptable hairstyles just yesterday and he obviously took me up on my first choice at the first available opportunity. He is so devoted to this campaign. There's really no stopping us.

I'm not even joking, if CAA gets just one of these cards from one of you, I will be deliriously happy.

theshowerlady said...

I love this! Once again, JW is showing leadership! Courageously living life on the edge! How could I not support your important work.
Especially if, like some of us may believe, (but not me!) Boo might be in danger of becoming Puggle Stew...ewww! (sigh!) Poor brilliant PG! You shine! Your luminous, brilliantly creative, and spirited, and there's nothing Jake can do to ever detract from that brilliance....who the hell am I kidding? I am sending not one, but at least two of those postcards. Having multiple personality disorder permits me to post more than one.

Anonymous said...

One'll be on it's way from the UK later this afternoon, just as soon as I can quit drooling on my keyboard whilst looking at Jake

theshowerlady said...

P.S. (oops!)
The weekend will soon be here. We have a golden opportunity. We can absolutely FLOOD CAA with postcards. When they come into work on Monday, they will be confronted with an overwhelming mountain of postcards. To paraphrase Alex Forrest (Fatal Attraction)"We Will Not Be Ignored!"

Anonymous said...

That's a sexy black henley Jake's wearing...but it's not The Shirt.
Different weave. Not see through. But damn! It works. Love his hair.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm - I wonder if we could do something like this to complain about the "official" website too? Just a thought.

Anonymous said...

One last comment about clean shaven Jake....and he is always sexy,IMVHO...but as far as beards, pornstache, and etc.,...it's not how they look...it's how they feel that's important. So actually, I'm always very relieved when he shaves,... even if I prefer him hairy.

Anonymous said...

Yes, that's the dilemma I have - love facial hair, but also love to touch a smooth, clean-shaven face! :)

Anonymous said...

Anon 4:05 here. What I meant was Hairy!Jake might feel VERY good. And seeing Hairy!Jake makes me wonder WHO is feeling very good...
Once again, JW's cultural influence is felt! Many gossip blogs are now showing pictures of Jake with captions that say, "Here's Jake Gyllenhaal doing aboslutely nothing..." Or "Jake Gyllenhaal walking..."

call me cherita said...

Anon 3:56, I beg to differ! I don't believe the shirt was actually "see-through"--it was a trick of the light and the way the breeze made it, um, cling to him. This looks like it to me. But I could be wrong.

And what is up with all the people who don't like the feel of facial hair? Am I that freaky? Okay, so I do have a bit of a masochistic streak (don't tell anyone!), but the moustache didn't look scratchy...it looked...tantalizing.

KayDee said...

It's when you style your hair into a mohawk-like configuration without actually cutting it.

i can't believe it! there's actually an attractive-sounding name for the "hairstyle" i have when i wake up?

btw, you know that when a guy shaves for the first time after a couple of days, he has baby-smooth skin? :D

KayDee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

You bet I'm gonna be doing this! Gotta go get it printed somewhere 'cause I don't have a printer, (I think I'll send two, or three?) and buy those special stamps to send to the US....

One thing tho, shouldn't these cards be branded www.JakeWatch.com to give credit where credit is due?? C'mon PG, maybe you should even sign your artwork???

Anonymous said...

PG, you should sign them!!! And also, I think we need to use your return address...at your house. BCZ I think the CAA Agents will send someone after you...to hire you to help take care of Jake. Of course you'll have to do a dog-walking internship first, but still...

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:56 here. I have now done some very scientific research. This shirt is definitely NOT THE SHIRT. The buttons are smaller on this shirt, the weave is different, and on my enlarged version of both pictures, which I am too simple and dumb to know how to link, THE SHIRT is see thru, not our imaginations or the lighting. Also very expensive. This shirt, while sexy(!) is a simple(!) cotton/spandex casual t-shirt. My guess is that is costs only about one gazillion dollars. You just can't assign a mere human price to THE SHIRT. It was woven by magic elves under the supervision of Legolas and then gifted to Jake because both he and THE SHIRT are magic...and therefore priceless. That is all.

Prophecy Girl said...

Ha! to anons 5.36 and 5.49 but I think the mention of Jake Watch on the back of the card is as far as we should go in identifying ourselves. They do actually know who we are, but they have no interest in talking to/acknowledging us. I sort of fear the day when they figure out where I live... :D

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, whether scratchy stubble, silky beard or smooth and clean-shaven, it's all good! :P

call me cherita said...

Okay, Anon 3:56/5:59 (why can't you people just give yourselves names? :)), you convinced me to look further into the matter myself. After finding a much larger version of the shirt photo than I have ever before seen, and making a strangled gasping sound in the office that fortunately seems to have gone unnoticed, I concur: yesterday's is not the shirt, though it is damn fine anyway.

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:36 here. Well maybe we are going to have to get an independent expert opinion about THE SHIRT situation. I myself lined them up side by side, and I could see no discernable difference between them! My conclusion was the opposite of Anon 3:56/5:59.

Are we going to have to just live with this mystery hanging over our heads??

Anonymous said...

^^^Do you really think that he has two shirts that look almost identical and yet are different shirts? surely if they were two different shirts smth else about them would give this away, the border, the hem, the collar, diff buttons, placed differently, etc etc etc. I can't see the diff.... :O

Prophecy Girl said...

Jake's wardrobe is notoriously limited. I think he only owns about 4 or 5 shirts. :) I'm guessing it's the same one.

call me cherita said...

The evidence (you absolutely must view these at full size):
May 2 vs. Dec. 6, 2006, a.k.a. The Shirt.

Anon's right...the weave is different, and so are the buttons.

Maybe this sudden rash of the shirt lookalikes indicates he really is reading JW. He's such a damn tease.

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:36/6:40/6:45 here. Excellent Agent work Cherita, I stand corrected. I am so embarassed, good thing I was in disguise through all this! Thanks for the hard evidence.

Prophecy Girl said...

Well, I'll be damned. He apparently owns 6 shirts. ;)

call me cherita said...

Anon 7:20, no need to be embarrassed! Remember, I thought it was the shirt myself originally. We like to dream. *sigh* And I'm telling you, he's playing with us.

veeveevee said...

Damn. I had to go back and forth about seven or eight different times between the links that Cherita posted before I could even focus on any articles of clothing! I kept getting distracted...

*click* Oooh, look at that smile. Oh yeah, I'm supposed to look at the shirt. Let me check the other one.

*click* Galarhg! Chest. hair. Peeking. out. Wait? Oh yeah, shirt.

*click* Do I see pectoral muscles? And look at his hands! Dang. Supposed to be looking at the shirt Vx3.

*click* Oh look at those lips. And the profile. Looking a little lean, Gyllenhaal, and I like it. Oh crap.

*click* Focus. Look at the shirt. Look at the shirt.

*click* Right. What about the shirt again?

*click* Is that see through? Oh my. Is it getting warm in here. Okay. How about focusing on the buttons. That's good, that will help.

*click* Dang. Something about buttons, but what the hell was it?

*click* Great googly moogly, would you look at the man's body? Gorgeous. And his hands. How I love his hand. Oh shit.

*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*
*click*

Oh never mind. I'll take your word for it.

Anonymous said...

3:56 pm here. I take no joy in being right about the shirts. Something strange is going on.I think there are games afoot! First, interviewing petite women with long blonde hair and a certain "look", even accepting rides from them at crowded airports! Now, THE SHIRT vs. The Shirt. And Boo missing. And how often in the past has Jake gone to the dog park, and he always carried a book. Now he has this orange ball throwing thing. That is SUCH an affectation!!! Jake never minded dogspit and mud on his hands before. These are signs. WHAT DOES IT MEAN????

Anonymous said...

That you have WAY too much time on you hands? LOL

Commando!Jake said...

OK. Good. Now. I just want to know. Are those the same pants he wore when he went commando that time getting out of the cab in NYC? And does he always wear them when he goes commando? Does he go commando very often?

Anonymous said...

8:46 LMAO!!!!

hajele said...

U guys are really great...I'm studying for my final exam and every time I see your writings, it makes me forget about boring civil code... Lots of love from Hungary

call me cherita said...

commando!jake, if I were privy to that intimate level of information about him, I know I for one wouldn't be reading this blog. ;)

Nothing Really Matters said...

Check here for more faux-hawks. It's when you style your hair into a mohawk-like configuration without actually cutting it. For some completely ridiculous reason, I love them.

Darling just for you i have this hair style! Okay so i already had it before i read the post! But it's the thought that counts right!

call me cherita said...

Okay, who else is now dying to see pictures of KayDee's and NRM's faux-hawks? ;)

Nothing Really Matters said...

btw, you know that when a guy shaves for the first time after a couple of days, he has baby-smooth skin? :D

Darling what are you talking about! I have baby smooth skin all the time!

cina said...

Okay, who else is now dying to see pictures of KayDee's and NRM's faux-hawks? ;)

Oh I've seen NRM's already. And believe me - it's cute! ;)

phoebe said...

^^ Totally agree! :D

Okay. Postcard? Hilarious!! I bet they'll raise a few eyebrows over at CAA! LOL!

The new pics of Jake? HOLY FREAKING HELL!!! I never thought he could possibly turn me on any more than he already does. Well.. I was wrong.

*DIES*

(I know, I'm being predictable again! LOL!)

Nothing Really Matters said...

Aww how sweetie my dears! Hej!

call me cherita said...

LOL Phoebe! Your avatar should be changed to show you lying on your back. ;)

phoebe said...

^^ LOL! Totally!!

Aww how sweetie my dears! Hej!

Hej! :) *kisses*

KayDee said...

Okay, who else is now dying to see pictures of KayDee's and NRM's faux-hawks? ;)

hmmm. i think i'll leave it to your fevered imaginations to conjure up my hot and handsome self. :D

Darling what are you talking about! I have baby smooth skin all the time!

i do too, just not on my face :P

KayDee said...

i think i will also mention that i have those fluffy bits of hair at the back of my neck. :D

JUST in case :P

sigh. thud. drool. DED

phoebe said...

i think i will also mention that i have those fluffy bits of hair at the back of my neck.

You're such a tease, kaydee!! :)

Anonymous said...

Jake in black makes me forget Boo!
OMG! He is so sexy in these pics.

By the way, I miss him in spandex..

jediane9 said...

The postcard is in the mail tomorrow!!! I wish I could see the looks on the CAA people when they start to trickle in...

Jake is The Hotness. That's all.

city girl said...

Good God this guy can't take a bad picture. Damn he makes me weak.

My post card will be in the mail in the morning.

heddaparsons said...

That picture of Jake is distracting but the postcard is in the mail!

PS: PG, this is brillant!

nice anonymous said...

This postcard is marvelous! I'll send mine on Monday. (I'm not hooked up to a printer here at home.)

As for the photo of Jake, I'm always feeling somewhat faint when his hips are tilted at that angle & he's wearing tight, light-colored pants & I can see something outlined inside his pocket -- even if it's obviously his cellphone.

kokodee said...

even if it's obviously his cellphone

Are we so sure about that? i think we need to carefuly inspect the pic for evidence.

*licks stamp...heads for post box*
Agent KoKo's mission acomplished.

Anonymous said...

I ask this very 'umbly,Agents. Can you plz not use the phrase, "mission accomplished." Some of us become violently ill and our tummies get upset and we get an ALMOST uncontrollable urge to puke when we see or hear this phrase. We expect this condition to persist for at least the next 20 months. So I would deeply appreciate your indulgence on this small thing for a little while. TYVM.

dru said...

Good Lord, is there going to be another rate hike? And how does a British blogger know this stuff before I do, in the US? And why did I just buy a whole frickin BOOK of 39-centers at the PO today?

grumbling, but will send postcard.

S4M985 said...

WHAT CINA SAID (I cant italic apparently!) Oh I've seen NRM's already. And believe me - it's cute! ;)



Me too, it is isnt it!

Oh ive been away and missed out on the fun comments, you guys crack me up hey!

So many things about this post that i love, the postcard thing is awesome such a good idea... everyones going to do it right?!

That website you found PG, you have no idea how long ive been trying to find a website with 'hairstyles' like that. its so informative! *bookmarked* Thanks ;)

And the shirt, i dont care if its just a shirt or THE shirt... its pretty god damned fine if you ask me! (but i agree, its not the same one!) When does Jake go to the beach again, it must be nearly summer over there now? Warm enough to swim.. i was to see topless Jake again

Anonymous said...

This was posted over at IHJ on the where's Boo thread:

Without sounding negative, I am a pug owner and they are riddled with health issues. He might have gone to puppy heaven and it might make Jake feel sad if he gets all these constant reminders.

On a more positive note, they are real sooks, a lazy as all buggery and prone to grass allergies that cause their little paws to become very swollen and infected so he may not be able to just walk Boo like he can his other dog. A doggy treadmill might do the trick.......as you can see by the amount Jake has carried boo, they are a little precious about how far and what they walk on...sweet breed but won't have another one myself.......they need a regular routine and I know I can't provide that for mine, so how on earth does Jake manage it.

I hope Boo isn’t in doggy heaven but in case he is, it might be a good idea to not send reminders.....though I do think they are pretty funny and wonder what he must thinks when he gets them all…if he even knows he gets them.

Daniel said...

Jake, how handsome he is! Most friends of mine on EbonyFriends.com like him very much, and me too.

purchase exceed similarly said...

The big head on its own is my playing with stylisation. I also did an interpretation of another one of Frankii following uniformes de futebol the same style. Whew! I also have some oils on the go but none are quite ready to share yet.

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