Sunday, February 25, 2007

JAKE GYLLENHAAL POWER HOUR...TIMES TWO!

I wasn't planning on writing about either of these shows, but as soon as I heard Naomi called "Nora" on the TV Guide channel, I figured it would be unethical if I didn't at least come up with some kind of snarky commentary. Aside from some really interesting behind-the-scenes footage, TV Guide's "Close Up" on Jake Gyllenhaal was...well...it looked like they put about as much effort into their special as I did into writing a summary of it. The least you need to know in 5 sentences:

1. Whitney Cummings (who the hell are you?) gets an exorbitant amount of screen time and 30 minutes in, reveals she doesn't know how old Jake is.

2. There's a bit where Jake gets really excited about The Day After Tomorrow and then compares his life to Teen Wolf.

3. Perez Hilton (how the fuck did he get in this?!) tackles The Gay Rumors and later talks about Jarhead in a really uncomfortable way.

4. There's some Zodiac stuff we've all already seen.

5. Before commercial breaks, TV Guide challenges viewers with insultingly easy Gyllentrivia, and then throws in a question about how much Jack Twist's shirt sold for on eBay, like that's something the average person on the street knows off the top of their head.

Er, points for effort, TV Guide, but I think you meant to interview someone from Jake Watch and not Perez Hilton. I can't really excuse such a mistake.

Moving on to a show that's much more dimly lit, "America's Most Wanted!" I've never watched "America's Most Wanted" before. I was always more of an "Unsolved Mysteries" person. Completely not on topic, I know. Hey, that summary thing worked pretty well, don't you think? Let's try it again. With more sentences.

1. Oooh, lots of dramatized reenactments! And actual Zodiac evidence! I'm duly impressed.

2. Robert Graysmith talks exactly like he writes.

3. Man, the movie scenes just keep on coming. Jake and The Most Dangerous Game! Jake Against the Wall! Jake Manhandling a Child! Jake in a Shooting Range! Jake Eating Carrots! Jake Flipping Through Posters! (veeveevee is on top of things yet again! Click HERE and HERE.)

4. Jake wore Robert Graysmith's clothes and used his pens. That piece of trivia, I did not know.

5. Those Zodiac interviews from last week are getting some serious play tonight.

6. There's an entire segment on handwriting analysis. Always riveting television. Viewers are then encouraged to go online and solve unsolvable Zodiac ciphers.

7. Arthur Leigh Allen is cleared of being the Zodiac because his upward loops don't have ink spots. Isn't that who "Primetime" cleared through DNA analysis? I think "Primetime" might have had the upper hand on that one.

And that's it. Two hours, 12 succinctly written points of interest, and not a whole hell of a lot of Jake. I guess I shouldn't complain, though, since he's going to be live on every show on television in the next week.

35 comments:

veeveevee said...

Great summary, Number Six...you nailed it!

veeveevee said...

P.S. YouTube is being very slow, so they're on Photobucket as well:

http://s80.photobucket.com/albums/j197/veeveevee_2006/?action=view¤t=JakeGyllenhaal-Zodiac-SchoolBus.flv

http://s80.photobucket.com/albums/j197/veeveevee_2006/?action=view¤t=JakeGyllenhaal-Zodiac-ShootingRange.flv

Anonymous said...

Thanx vee!

Anonymous said...

That was one of the most accurate summaries I've ever read.One thing that struck me on the TV Guide thing: Some tantalizing shots of footage of Jake from Jarhead and BBM, behind the scenes candid stuff that I've never seen before. And it irks me no end that they could have used some of that footage to make the DVD special sections on the "making of..." more interesting, and more Jakeful, but they producers of said films chose not to. Arrrrggghhhh! I was appalled, actually, to see a slug like PErezHilton sitting there as if he can speak authoritatively about Jake. AS IF...!!!!!Ugh! I'm comforted to know that Jake was actually dressing Graysmith-like. Would hate to think they picked that stuff out randomly as typical of that period.
I cannot wait to see the real live Jake on Letterman, Conan and TDS. And doing the Morning shows, too. and the the film opens and I can watch it over and over and over and over....

anette said...

what did perez say actually?
And great recap number six,can't wait to see the real jake soon.

Veeveevee your photo links are not working, but thanks for putting the videos up.

S4M985 said...

Oh this movie is looking really good, i cant WAIT to see it!

And is it just me and im a little ditzy today... does anyone know if there is anyway we can see the whole of what was just summerised beautifully by Number 6?

anonymous blonde said...

Don't get TV Guide channel, so I missed that one. But did watch "America's Most Wanted", and Number Six, your summary is sublimely accurate...... dimly lit in more ways than one! What a monumental waste of time....

And now that I've actually seen and heard the real R. Graysmith, I can understand how thrilled he might be that Fincher picked The Sex to immortalize him on film.

Number Six said...

I'm sure it'll be up on IHJ soon, but Perez said (from memory and thus, undoubtedly wrong), "No one really thinks he is [gay]. Or at least I don't and that's what matters." I was surprised they actually touched on that rumor. But the whole show really was pretty worthless.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Number Six for the recap, you're a doll. Ummm wait a minute, you're a guy, right? I keep forgetting....

(Dam, when are we gonna go find our real leaders?? I miss BPB and PG.)

veeveevee said...

Here are the photobucket links smaller:

http://tinyurl.com/2b822f

http://tinyurl.com/2aqfkv

Hope this works if the YouTube isn't!

Anonymous said...

Ohhhhhh....Jake Eating Carrots. Loved that one :))

cina said...

I knew about Jake using Graysmiths' pens, but his clothes - that I didn't know! :)
Well, I'm off to watch it now.

cina said...

Okey, seriously. I CAN'T WAIT to see this movie! Beside the fact that Jake is in it, I think it is going to be really good! It's a movie I most likely would have seen even if Jake hadn't been in it, it looks awesome. And I thoroughly enjoyed the America's Most Wanted Zodiac special. Very interesting, especially having read Graysmith's book.
Oh, and Jake munching on carrots? Too cute!

cina said...

Beside the fact that Jake is in it, I think it is going to be really good!

Hm. Does that sound like I think it's going to be a good movie despite the fact that Jake is in it? Totally not what I meant, but of course you guys know that right? My english fails me sometimes, I have to confess. :/

S4M985 said...

we knew what u meant cina ;)

j01560403 said...

Aww Cina, we could only take it one way, OF COURSE we knew exactly what you meant!! Good grief, this is Jakey you're talking about!!! :-)

cina said...

^^ LOL!! Aww, thanks guys! :)

S4M985 said...

i just saw this on the blog, i dont know how long it has been there but its bloody funny!

"WELCOME
Got an unhealthly obsession with The Gyllenhaal to the point where your family and friends are planning an intervention?
Fuck them!
This is your spiritual home now. "

Thats one of the things i love about this place... all those little bits and peices that make it feel like home.. ahh

heddaparsons said...

Great recap Number six!!

PS: You quoted the jerk Perez Hilton correctly.Still don't know why he was on that.

Anonymous said...

I love those clips!

That description of that other 'person' who was hammering in about teh rumors is a joke and inconsequential. I'm so glad I didn't watch the TV Guide interview - that 'other person' is a tool and shouldn't be mentioned by name.EVER.

cina said...

That 'other person' is just a twat that no-one should be paying any attention to really. Does he even know how to spell "respect"?

Anonymous said...

I'm curious - is there a Oscar party planning party?? I mean - its tonight - I mean seriously - I mean we have to like work out whose bringing what?

Jake - Milanese
Me - Empanadas a la Cruz
Agent 6 - ???
VeeVeeVee - ???
Anon 3:40a - ???
Cina - ???
Boo - Various Drink mixes

cina said...

^^ I'm bringing my irresistable charm and stunningly good looks. Anything else? ;)

Number Six said...

We are snubbing the Oscars this year for many reasons. Unless they let Helen Mirren win and then we shall forgive all.

Anonymous said...

Never enough JAKE ... never enough!

roco

Nothing Really Matters said...

Dude Helen Mirren will win!

You must lead such a hard life watching Jake all the time!

heddaparsons said...

Helen Mirren will win, don't fret number six!

cina said...

^^ Yeah, I think that is pretty safe to say. I also think Forest Withaker is going to take home Best Actor. Although I definitely think Leo deserves one for his performance in Blood Diamond. He was fucking brilliant, and it's a damn good movie too.

Anonymous said...

I want Leo to win. And if he doesn't,I want Peter O'Toole, bcz this is probably IT for him. And I want Judi Dench to win for "Scandal." I saw both The Queen and Scandal, and Judi Dench was amazing!!!! And I want Martin Scorcese and The Departed and I want Djimon Honsou to win BSA. Jennifer Hudson is a good choice for BSActress. But most important: WHERE IS JAKE??? THERE WAS NO SIGN OF HIM YESTERDAY. Nada. Will he surface at any parties? IS he even in LA? Despite the sighting on Defamer, I think he is NOT in LA. I hate this feeling of Jakelessness.

cina said...

Jake is most likely not showing up at the Oscars. My guess is he is in NY.

Anonymous said...

If he is in NYC that would be a really smart move, bcz we are gettingt bad weather and storms tonight and over the next few days as well. If he were in LA, he might run in to problems getting to NYC. I hope he is in NYC, all cuddled a cozy...and I wish I were there too.

Anonymous said...

If he is in NYC that would be a really smart move, bcz we are gettingt bad weather and storms tonight and over the next few days as well. If he were in LA, he might run in to problems getting to NYC. I hope he is in NYC, all cuddled a cozy...and I wish I were there too.

Anonymous said...

I still haven't forgiven Perez for a post about Jake he put up maybe over a year ago. It was not just in bad taste it was revolting and vulgar.
To see him to be commenting on Jake, was annoying to watch. Although he did speak up for Jake. It's like having road kill at the dinner table, a queasy proposition. At least it was some dumb TV guide program, and will most likely be lost to history. One can hope.

Anonymous said...

Oh God what did Perez say about Jake? Was he asked about the awful posts he puts on his site?

Anonymous said...

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IHJ