Tuesday, February 20, 2007

ANOTHER JAKE WATCH EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

With the promotional workload building, Jake Gyllenhaal suddenly realised there was one place he'd neglected to include in his domiance of the media schedule Feburary through March...er, Jake Watch! (famed for it's provoking, sensationalist, gin-soaked journalism).

Jake arrived at our top secret Headquarters, that may or may not be situated out back at the Sprinkles cupcake store, this morning and ready to give the high-brow interview of a lifetime. But Jake Watch said, 'No.....would it be okay if you could just respond to our questions with facial expressions because what with britpopbaby and ProphecyGirl still missing and all the cupcakes we need to bake we're a little short on time for the Gyllenbaffle?'

So, we've all been waiting to see Zodiac since about 1987 now. Can you tell us what's in store??
Cool. It's been described as a horror movie by some. How scary is it exactly?
Well, we'd love to sit here all day and discuss your career but like I mentioned we're a little short on time, pal. Can you just give us what we want?
Oooo, you're too good to us Gyllenhaal! Is being an international sex-baguette as difficult as we hear it is?
Oh come on now! You LOVE IT.
Well, that's all Jake had time for. His eyebrows were hurting.

60 comments:

only1annabel said...

Awesome pics! Aw he so pretty!

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, I laughed tooooo much! I love his hair in these piccies.......more than usual i mean.

Anonymous said...

SEXBAGUETTE! This is HYSTERICAL!

Located in teh rear of Sprinkles!
I love love love the photo 'responses'!

Oh man - I laughed aloud at work for the first time.

Absolute genius work! MASTERY of the BLOG!

By the way folks - if you are hard up for the Sprinkle experience but find yourself regionally challenged - Crate and Barrel with their NUMEROUS locations have the Sprinkle packages (make it your dam self!) available.

Sprinkles - it goes better with Jake.

Anonymous said...

Oh GOD the HAIR!

I like the hairy-peepshow!

I just wanted to slap some gold chains with medallions and italian horns on him - nestled so warmly in that fuzzy chest!

Anonymous said...

This was a pure delight ! I'm sitting here laughing outloud at this stuff when I should be revising my resume so I can find a job bcz I'm borderline destitute...forget borderline!

BTW: I'm not loving the Gyllenhair in this longer length. And the way he's got it backcombed it makes his face look broader, bigger, fatter. He's still the most gorgeous thing that ever drew breath...but still.

cina said...

LMFAO!! "sex-baguette"?! Bwhaahahaha!

Actually, he truly is a sex-baguette in that interview. Utterly, utterly gobsmackingly gorgeous. He's just so incredible I don't know what to do with myself. Now if only that friggin' video would work again so I could watch it over and over. DAMMIT!! >:(

cina said...

I'm sorry, how could I forget:

This post was fucking hilarious!!

Well, that's all Jake had time for. His eyebrows were hurting.

*dies laughing*

ncwoman said...

Oh my God...
"Sex baguette"
"His eyebrows were hurting..."

loloooollll....

nice anonymous said...

FINALLY! JakeWatch lands an interview. About time. See, Jake is so much more than just about words.

And here I was worrying Jake had more respect for Chill Online than his fans. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Do you think Jake gets flirty in his interviews? With the interviewer? Do you think it's on purpose or it's just natural or it's both? Do you think that girl wanted to just Squeeeee! and melt all over him??? What would he do if an interview situation came up and the girl had blurted out:" I want to have your babies!!!" He's so nice. Maybe he'd have said yes...out of politeness.

cina said...

I think this is my favorite post ever. Honestly!

Bobbie said...

"His eyebrows were hurting." Bwah!

God, Jake is such a stud. I can't believe I used the word stud, but I mean, yeah. He's a stud.

Linna said...

FUCKING AWESOME!!!!

LMFAO!!

S4M985 said...

That is my favourite post. i just think that was perfect. so funny, so 'serious' but so funny!!! More more more!!! Thanks guys

veeveevee said...

That was the BEST non-Gyllenbaffle interview EVER!

I do love the Gyllenbaffle, but sometimes it's fun just to look at pretty pictures! :-)

LOVE. IT.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Jake Gyllenhaal always the giver!

Anonymous said...

OMG I am LMAO this was too funny. I go to your site everyday (ok probably more like 5 or 6 times a day) and that "other site" too. I saw the pics there first but I swear that was nothing compared to this....so freaking funny. Thanks for all that you do. You guys are the best by far

nice anonymous said...

Jake flirts with everyone. Interviewers. Fans. Small children. Dogs. Women with large breasts. Women with small breasts. Handsome young actors. Geriatric actors & actresses. And probably with inanimate objects. Bicycles. Sports equipment. Cupcakes.

Sterling said...

I think it's funny that everyone is commenting on the hair on his head, but what about that CHEST HAIR?! The dude's wearing his shirt collar open, his hair is hangin' all out, and you can even see that gold chain. I love the guy, but in this "exclusive interview" he kind of reminds me of the greasers who would hit on you in high school...

Anonymous said...

Did you notice the exquisite chain??? Lost in the exquisite chest hair???

phoebe said...

LMFAO!!! This is HYSTERICAL!!

And dude. He's just too gorgeous and beautiful for words.. *dies*

Anonymous said...

I am LOVIN the way he looks in the third picture down, before the video starts. In the still frame we see tongue, chest hair and bedroom eyes!! I can't take it...

heddaparsons said...

He is absolutely adorable! Love the interview, even though it was cut off right when they started to talk about Zodiac, DUH!!!

"His eyebrows were hurting"

I love this blog!

Anonymous said...

Gahhhh! he soes that thing with his eyes...and then that thing with his tongue...He's driving me insane!!!! But in a good way! And yes. He knows what he's doing. Jake is a shameless flirt. Like when he loked at the interviewer and said, "It's all good." Yeah. It is. As for the damned chest hair - Has anyone from JW been in touch with Gavin Hood yet? It is critical that Jake have at least two shower scenes and at least 35% of the film spent with no shirt on at all...in fact - never mind.

Anonymous said...

OT: Saw trailer for Ioan Griffudd's new film, Amazing Grace at the cinema tonight, a beautiful, inspirational film. Went to the official website and discovered The Amazing Change Campaign. The film, Amazing Grace is about a member of British Parliament, William Wilberforce's fight to end slavery in the British Empire. The Amazing Change Campaign is about ending modern day slavery for over 26 million children and their families worldwide. Plz, if you can, just go to the film's official website and just read about it. I knew nothing about it and wouldn't have if I hadn't been curious bcz of Ioan Griffudd.

sfgirl said...

OMG nice anon...I just about died when I read about everyone and everything Jake flirts with....
FABULOUS :))

heddaparsons said...

Zodiac will be featured this Saturday, Feb. 24th on America Most Wanted. Interviews with Graysmoth, Jake Ruffalo and Downey:


http://www.thefutoncritic.com/news.aspx?id=20070220fox01

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Oh the Gyllentongue. How I've missed thee. Thank God Jake's always willing to put out. (His tongue, of course.)

Anonymous said...

I love Nice Anon 10:28 PM post about how Jake flirts with about everything - I'm thinking he has a softspot for them cupcakes...Flirting With Bakery Items Mr Gyllenhaal? How ...tasty of you.

Who wants to see Jake with Sprinkles on him? And when are we gonna start planning our St Patty's Party a La Sex-baguette..rather his Corned Beefcakiness.

S4M985 said...

Shit i still cant get over how funny that post is. I had a good day because it started off with this, thankyou!!!

The eyebrows, the hair, the eyes, the expressions and the questions to go with it are just brilliant!

atk said...

Thank you for that much needed laugh this morning. This must be one of my favorite posts ever. A Jake-Watch-classic.

His eyebrows really have a life on their own, haven´t they?! :)

cina said...

Zodiac will be featured this Saturday, Feb. 24th on America Most Wanted. Interviews with Graysmoth, Jake Ruffalo and Downey:

Thanks Hedda! I've always been curious of how the RL Graysmith looks. Hopefully someone will cap it over at IHJ.

Kendra said...

More cute captions, this time from ABC TV

anne said...

OMFG!
that's awesome!
LMFAO!

smurfette said...

agreed, definitely a JW classic. the 1-2 step of the gyllenbaffle interview followed up by the gyllenfaces interview...

Anonymous said...

two words--
unbelievably handsome,
this guy is.

sigh.

Anonymous said...

I adore Jake, think he's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I love his personality, watch/read all his interviews, revel in the pictures, etc. I have noticed something, tho. I think Jake has always been a social, accessible, friendly person. And very open. He was younger and perhaps foolishly thought the world was a friendly place. Until BBM. And Jarhead and his new found celebrity started bring crazies out of the woodwork, including stalkers and probably threats from time to time. This isn't unusual. Most celebs have similar experiences. So. Jake has become more mature. He has learned how to be detached. He's learned to put on, not just his "company" manners, but his public face even moreso than ever before. And truthfully. The public face I saw when I watched the interview this series of pictures is from, left me feeling...odd. He seemed TOO saccharine and too fakey. I know the interviews and the questions are tedious and banal. I know he probably gets bored out of his skull. I know he tires and is wary of anything that smacks of intrusion into his personal life. And he probably blames himself to some extent for the intrusions into the personal lives of family and friends. He's become very guarded about his private life. I understand all that. Totally. I just don't like the fakiness of it.

Anonymous said...

If Jake seems vague or detached, it might be bcz he's absorbed in his role in Rendition. Hard to disengage from his character and shift gears into movie promotion
mode.

get real said...

4:53 PM GMT, I personally don't think Jake was being fake or saccharine. I however, think people have been way to involved and invasive about his personal life. I mean really, really obsessive, like he owes an answer to the public if he is single, gay, straight or bi. It is none of anyone's business and I don't blame him if he was very tired of those questions. Yes, he is a public figure and these things come with the territory, but I have never seen the lengths people are going to know his sexuality/relationships. Honestly, it is scary. And considering that I think he was very patient and polite to the reporter, even if we know he didn't want to answer the questions. I wouldn't blame him if he refused to answer.

AlinaGyllenhaal said...

Whow, guys! That is the most exciting thread I've ever read.Pics are sooo sexy,he looks like a little curiosity, stranger in our world of tame faces. And the comment about fakeness...STRONG.I feel like I know you all for years...

sfgirl said...

Anon 4:53...I agree with your comments! And to think how much he's changed in just under three years. It's kinda sad but it's reality!

Anonymous said...

Thankfully it's his reality and not my own.

If he was or appeared naive at the beginning, then it only makes sense when you grow up with low profile but highly talented parents in the industry. Demi Moore and Bruce Willis kids probably have a better grasp on celebrity side of the industry than Jake ever did.

I think he is handling his celebrity along with this film career wonderfully.

cina said...

Get real, I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. :)

get real said...

Thanks, Cina! Glad you understand. :)

KayDee said...

he expresses himself better with his face than with words. but then, he has such expressive and mobile features, and not very coherent way of talking, so it's understandlable :D

And the tongue part was very telling: so he KNOWS what we here at JW crave, he's only teasing us to make us crazy with jakelesness

cina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

4:53 here. I agree with GetReal, too. I'm not talking about the substance or suggesting Jake is a phoney at all and I'm really sorry if anyone took it that way. I'm just saying, and if you look at the last cap in this series, there is a style he's adopted that can sometimes come across as just a bit too congenial and sugary. And maybe it goes with the fact that he's gotta deal with so much crap.
I don't blame Jake at all for putting a professional distance between himself and the media. They aren't his personal friends, except maybe in some rare individual cases. I think it's his basic nature to be an open, kind person. And I think he's had to really make an effort to not be that way. That can be tiring. To always be on your guard. Bored to tears with the same old questions, yet still watchful for the "ambush." And he is SO smart. Really smarter than most of the journos who interview him, he has to make an effort to mask his impatience. Some people have remarked from time to time when he is impatient or sarcastic in interviews. I'm saying, this might be the other side of that.

get real said...

I understand and agree with you 6:54 PM GMT. :) What you say makes a lot of sense and sadly I think Jake has to put up with a lot of bullshit and so he may act accordingly which may seem like he is not being totally forcoming. Again, who could blame him.

Kaydee, I think Jake does great in tv interviews. He is very smart and has great things to say. However, I don't think that always comes across in print. His sarcasm, etc. are better when you can see him saying it.

get real said...

Should be "forthcoming"

smurfette said...

he has such expressive and mobile features, and not very coherent way of talking, so it's understandlable

that's so true-- i sometimes wonder if being gifted with an unusually expressive face early in life has in effect stunted his ability to form coherent thoughts/sentences. it's like he never had to try to perfect the latter trait since the former always more than made up for any shortcomings in expressing himself... and of course the fact that he's easy on the eyes tends to distract the audience quite a bit too... :)

smurfette said...

I think Jake does great in tv interviews. He is very smart and has great things to say. However, I don't think that always comes across in print. His sarcasm, etc. are better when you can see him saying it.

get real, having said what i just did (a bit tongue in cheek), i have to say i actually completely agree with what you say here

Anonymous said...

GREMLINS!!!!! The thing that I LOVED best about that interview was when the ditzy "reporter" asked about his love life and he had that smile and said, "It's all good.!" Whoo!

Muffin said...

Rather than describing Jake's interview style as fake I see it more that he has lost his innocence.

It's sad but inevitable; some of it comes with age but undoubtedly he has had his fingers burned too.

I only discovered Jake a year ago (probably like most people here) and I have watched lots of old Jake clips so seeing the loss of innocence has not been a gradual process for me. Perhaps for long-time fans this evolution has been more gradual and "natural" and therefore not so noticable.

Carla said...

I absolutly agree with what you said, Muffin.

It was interesting to compare the “JustJared” and "Primetime” interview with that Sky-thing. IMO he was his usual self while talking about his work - enthusiastic, thrilled and open.

Anonymous said...

All this "psychoanalysis" about how Jake seems! He IS getting older and more mature. So maybe he is more reserved. And he has reason to be wary. I love how he handles media. He's poised, quick, and he really stays in charge.He is not intimidated or self-conscious. A very media Savvy person, IMHO. And very naturally sweet and very naturally charming.
Here's another thing. Someone said earlier. He is making another film. From the description of the plot, it seems to be an intense film. A serious film. Interrupting the shooting to do awards and media promotion has to be taxing. He really can't afford to totally let go of his character.

Anonymous said...

I know we're going to see oodles of Jake over the 24th,26th,27th & 28th. And then the film comes out on March 2nd. But Jake will be in Morocco and then South Africa, & I'm missing him already!!! If he were in the UK or France, we'd have a chance to hear regular news about him. I just don't think they're allowed that kind of coverage in Morocco...and they may have coverage in S.A., but is he even that well known there? I know I sound stupid, but I just want to know.

penny lane said...

Am a bit late to this, but just wanted to say that I agree with what 'get real'wrote. I thought the question from the 'interviewer' was inane and that he handled it gracefully in an evasive manner. He also seemed clearly embarrassed even if he gave it a coy twist.

S4M985 said...

i agree with everything all of you said, but IMO think he did it all perfectly, and i couldnt be prouder of 'our boy'

hehe


p.s Still laughing at this post like 2 days after the fact haha

Anonymous said...

I hate to say this, bcz he is SO sexy and really a beautiful man, but sometimes when I look at screen caps like these or others, I'm immediately reminded of the little boy in the cowboy hat showing his interviewer he's "double jointed" and can do things with his shoulders that other people can't. Jake has been handling media since he was 12. He has poise. He is beguiling. Distractingly handsome now, and yet, I can still see that little boy sometimes. And It's totally charming!!!

nice anonymous said...

Now I'm imagining Jake having to cancel a public appearance after straining an eyebrow-flexing muscle after a particularly strenuous interview.