I'm Jake Gyllenhaal, bike enthusiast and puggle activist; you may remember me from such paparazzi pictures as 'Blue Surf Trunks', 'Homoerotic Lakers Game' and 'Crossing the Road'. For me, like most people around the world (waaassssup Innuits!), Christmas is a time for reflection. A chance to look back at what has passed and foward at what is to come. I don't know about you suckers, but I've had a great year. Got me a Bafta award and I got to go to the Oscars and sit up front right near George Clooney - awesome - not on the same row, but y'know, still close. Closer than Peter Sarsgaard got to sit - lame-o!
In the summer I decided to take up cycling. Most people just buy a bike and get on with it but not moi. I like to enlist the help of some A-list friends when I take on new hobbies and who better than my main man Gunderson (oh, you might know him as Lance Armstrong, record seven times winner of the Tour de France), and also, for some inexplicable reason that has yet to be explained to anyone, Matthew McConaughey. We had an (to be said in a high pitch) awesome time. Who knew mountains had so many uses?
In October a new Gyllenhaal was good enough to grace the world with it's presence. Turns out I'm a great uncle, like fun Uncle Jake who gives you ice cream when Mom told you no and buys you really noisy toys, like a drum set and a Elijah Wood tap dancing penguin. Sweeeeeet. Good job I got all that practice in with Boo...speaking of which, have you guys seen him lately? I swear I left him around here somewhere.
Anyway, I didn't come here today to talk about myself, no honestly I didn't! Just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas (yo, whatever deity you're down with is coooool by me) and A Happy New Year. Awesome.
See ya around guys!
All my love,
PS - I know the picture has no relation to my letter but I just look so hot I thought you all should see it. Plus RDJ looks creepy weird. He's a card!
Jake Watch is closed for Christmas (25th-29th Dec*). Prophecy Girl shall be busy putting all Jake's Sprinkles receipts in date purchased order, Anneka is tied up ironing Jake's lycra bike shorts and as a practising Pagan, britpopbaby shall be dancing around the woods in a hessian robe, beating herself with willow branches and then sacrificing a Christian to the Horse Goddess at Stone Henge . Happy Yule!
*unless something really exciting happens or they cancel Christmas.