Sunday, December 24, 2006

YO HO HO HO!


'Sup Flock,

I'm Jake Gyllenhaal, bike enthusiast and puggle activist; you may remember me from such paparazzi pictures as 'Blue Surf Trunks', 'Homoerotic Lakers Game' and 'Crossing the Road'. For me, like most people around the world (waaassssup Innuits!), Christmas is a time for reflection. A chance to look back at what has passed and foward at what is to come. I don't know about you suckers, but I've had a great year. Got me a Bafta award and I got to go to the Oscars and sit up front right near George Clooney - awesome - not on the same row, but y'know, still close. Closer than Peter Sarsgaard got to sit - lame-o!

In the summer I decided to take up cycling. Most people just buy a bike and get on with it but not moi. I like to enlist the help of some A-list friends when I take on new hobbies and who better than my main man Gunderson (oh, you might know him as Lance Armstrong, record seven times winner of the Tour de France), and also, for some inexplicable reason that has yet to be explained to anyone, Matthew McConaughey. We had an (to be said in a high pitch) awesome time. Who knew mountains had so many uses?

In October a new Gyllenhaal was good enough to grace the world with it's presence. Turns out I'm a great uncle, like fun Uncle Jake who gives you ice cream when Mom told you no and buys you really noisy toys, like a drum set and a Elijah Wood tap dancing penguin. Sweeeeeet. Good job I got all that practice in with Boo...speaking of which, have you guys seen him lately? I swear I left him around here somewhere.

Anyway, I didn't come here today to talk about myself, no honestly I didn't! Just wanted to wish you all a very Merry Christmas (yo, whatever deity you're down with is coooool by me) and A Happy New Year. Awesome.

See ya around guys!
All my love,
Jake Gyllenhaal.

PS - I know the picture has no relation to my letter but I just look so hot I thought you all should see it. Plus RDJ looks creepy weird. He's a card!


Jake Watch is closed for Christmas (25th-29th Dec*). Prophecy Girl shall be busy putting all Jake's Sprinkles receipts in date purchased order, Anneka is tied up ironing Jake's lycra bike shorts and as a practising Pagan, britpopbaby shall be dancing around the woods in a hessian robe, beating herself with willow branches and then sacrificing a Christian to the Horse Goddess at Stone Henge . Happy Yule!

*unless something really exciting happens or they cancel Christmas.

44 comments:

S4M985 said...

Merry Christmas everyone!!! Thankyou for sharing the past few months with me, its been great getting to know you all. Thanks britpop and PG for all the good memories! Look fwd to seeing u all in 2007 xx

claire said...

Aww, what a lovely message from Jake, I'm sure he spent ages writing that.

Have a great Christmas everyone, and here's looking forward to a Jake-filled new year!

cina said...

Merry Christmas all you Jakewatchers (Britpop and PG in particular)! Thanks for this past year, it's been a great ride, bumpy in parts (wink wink) and extremely entertaining. I can't wait to see what next year will bring for us to dig in to Jakewise. Until then, have a wonderful holiday everyone! Oh, and that goes for you too Jake. I almost forgot... ;)

Hugs and kisses from your devoted agent Cina! :)

SwedishLadybird said...

GOD JUL!
to everybody!

cina said...

^^ Yeah, I guess that goes for me too - GOD JUL! :)

only1annabel said...

Fab post as always, very festive of you Jake!
Merry Christmas all you Jake Watchers hope Santa brrings you what you want, fingers crossed I'll find something Jake related in my stocking!
xxxx

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas Biatches!
You rock the blog-o-sphere!
Jake stau sexy you Mo-Fo!
Fuck Yeah and Peace out!

claire said...

Fingers crossed I'll find Jake in my stocking....or Jake in stockings?

mpom said...

Thanks BPB,PG & all of you at JW for the good times. I don't know what I'll do till the 29th but maybe some of you will drop by to chat. Have a great Holiday You all. And Jake, Have a wonderful Holiday too, I hope Santa fills your stocking with all the things you asked for.

Anonymous said...

Best wishes everyone at Jake Watch for a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas to everyone at JW! BPB and PG, and Jake, and all the folks I've come to "know" in the past few months have definitely brightened my life!

Thanks for the laughs and looking forward to 2007...and to Jake, Happy Holidays to you and a fabulous 2007, darin'!!

NC Woman

Anonymous said...

Oops, I meant "darlin'"...

Too much egg nog...

NC Woman

nice anonymous said...

I just knew that Jake was the type to include an annoying family newsletter with his Christmas cards.

Hope you all are enjoying yourselves & will survive all that time together with your respective families.

Happy Christmas!

Anonymous said...

Happy Holidays everyone! I am so glad we heard from Jake, yeah I wish someone would explain why Matthew MC was along for the ride!

well I hate to say it but I have Boo, he showed up one day at my door and well I am a sucker for those bright puppy dog eyes, wet nose. yes I am talking about the dog (although I think Jake could fit this description as well)

anyway I have enjoyed hanging out here with all of you, being part of all the covert operations and laughing with you guys too.

looking forward to 2007 which I'm sure will be bigger and better than ever

L

penny lane said...

Merry Christmas to everybody out there! Hope you are spending a great time with all your loved ones.

mpom said...

Merry Christmas everyone. I have to work today.
I am watching October Sky right now. It's raining in this scene and Jake is very wet again.
MENTAL NOTE TO SELF:
Research all Jake's movies and photos to find and log all scenes where he is dripping wet. I'll have to see if dripping with sweat can be included.

Well, I have to find SOMETHING to do till the 29th.

Agnes said...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!!!!!

And in Swedish

God Jul och Gott nytt år till er alla!!!!

perfectscore_goldstar said...

Happy Holidays everyone ! ! !

vanzmotorbike said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
hedda parsons said...

The Channakuh and Christmas celebrations may be are over ( I hope everyone had a wonderful Holiday), but the Holiday celebrations continue! Happy boxing Day and Happy Kwaanza to everyone at JW!

Katie said...

Thanks Jake for your Christmas message! I was looking forward to that - much better than the Queen's speech (lim green is not a good colour on anyone).

Merry Christmas Jake, Brits, PG and everyone at JW!!! (sorry I'm a bit late I've been in the Land Without Internet but - phew - I survived and I'm back)

cina said...

^^Glad to have you back Katie! Hope you had a nice holiday. :)

kaydee said...

I know that I'm a bit late, but what the hell: Merry Christmas and A Very Happy New Year JW, its leaders and all the agents.

I hope that 2007 will be as wonderful here at JW as the passing yoear was.

And in Polish: Wesołych Świąt i Szczęśliwego Nowego Roku! :)

Katie said...

^^ Thanks Cina! It's good to be back home!

Kendra said...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, BRITPOPBABY, PG, AND THE REST OF WATCHERS, FROM WEIRDLAND!!

I hope you forget all the bitter moments you went through 2006 and have a good time creating new good memories on the road to 2007 ;)

mpom said...

Hello all, It's the day after Christmas here in the USA. I guess It's Boxing Day for you all across the pond. What ever that means. Boxing here is when two sweaty men with plastic things in their mouths and big padded gloves on their hands punch each other into a stupor. Anyway.
I just got the Directors cut of DD. Have never seen it. Sooooo... tonight I will be sipping a nice glass or two of red wine while I watch it.
Hope you all had a great holiday. And it's good to see the "travelers" are back safe and sound.

veeveevee said...

I echo all the sentiments here - a hearty thank you to Britpop and PG for all their hard work, especially in the face of some pretty trying times and a happy holiday season to everyone here.

Looking forward to every moment of JW 2007!

Anonymous said...

mmmm...Donnie Darko Director's Cut...another one of the things I wanted for Christmas that I didn't get...ah, well. The 'rents are cathing on. They bought me Monster House cuz they noticed that Maggie was in it. It was actually quite good. I found all the puberty jokes to be hilarious...because
I have experienced it fairly recently...Maggie was great...er, her voice was.
Hope y'all have a lovely New Year's.

kaydee said...

damn damn damn!!! remembrer when in the hellomagazine in july JG was in the most attractive man of the month vote?

and i set my alarm clock to vote every 20 minutes like a loon. and now jake's not even in there for the man of the year competition.
and he lost to some uglies, i tell ya!

DAMN!

Carla said...

Kaydee, please calm down, girl.:-))

And have a look on this page:

http://www.hellomagazine.com/vote/pastwinners/attractiveman.html

There you can see the monthly winners. And our man is "Most attractive man" June. (And the Robster is Mr October - yeah!!)

The competition is very strong. We will have to work very hard when the yearly voting starts...

Only some days and an exciting year will be over...I am waiting for Jake at SNL and I am hoping for some ZODIAC promotion starting soon...

Carla said...

Thats the correct link:
http://www.hellomagazine.com/vote/
pastwinners/attractiveman.html

mpom said...

Just watched DD Directors Cut. I Liked it so much better than the regular cut. It left me with alot to ponder over. Jake is wonderful in it and such an eyefull. Maggie is beautiful. DD was not my favorite before but now I don't know... It's so deep. Have to watch it again.

Must be the DD influance but..

17 days 11 hours 40 minutes to SNL

kaydee said...

17 days 11 hours 40 minutes to SNL

ok now it's official: we are all insane LOLOLOL

and still posting off topic :( but it's my new year's resolution to stop it. i promise

kaydee said...

what's up with his eyes in this zodiac film? when you posted the pic where he emerges from the filing cabinet drawer i thought it had smth to do with light angle or smth... but now i see that he looks like a raccoon on all the pics from the film...

and the hair is strange as well, but here i think it is some dreadul seventies *shudder* fashion.

glad i didn't live back then. i would have to deal with some very compromising pics of myself now.

off topic again, sorry.

and posting to myself, everybody seem to be still celebrating or curing post-holiday hangover...

SquallCloud said...

Awwww I've been gone so very long. Happy New Year! I'll go to that forrest and see if britpop saved me any willow branches!

veeveevee said...

^^Kaydee, I agree - he looks like a raccoon - a very cute raccoon!

Anonymous said...

Ack! Apparently Jake was staying at a restaurant/lodge up in Marin County near San Francisco last night, and the place went up in flames! He escaped unharmed. Phew!

vanzmotorbike said...

That's full-on!

Copy and paste peeps.

http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2006/12/28/INVERNESS.TMP

cina said...

Ack! Apparently Jake was staying at a restaurant/lodge up in Marin County near San Francisco last night, and the place went up in flames! He escaped unharmed. Phew!

Eh, okey, a link please!! You can't just drop a bomb like that without providing us with the source of the information (if you have it). Please??
Thanks vanzmotorbike for the link, but there was no mention of Jake in there though. Still I appreciate the link!

THANK GOD he was unharmed!!

Carla said...

Someone over at DC posted some links, where Jake is mentioned:

http://www.sparselysageandtimely.
com/blog/?p=84

http://www.marinij.com/marin/ci_4911533

cina said...

"Jake was helping me pull things out of the fire," DeLong said

Awww bless him!

I'm glad Maggie was unharmed too, and Ramona too I'd guess?!? How absolutely horrible.

Thanks for those links Carla! :)

kaydee said...

oh jake my hero!

vanzmotorbike said...

What a horrible, scary thing to experience. sheesh.

mpom said...

Holy Cow. Glad to hear our Jake's safe and sound, along with Maggie and Ramona. Isn't it just like him to lend a hand in an emergency? BPB and PG will have alot to catch up on when they get back tomorrow.
No one canceled Christmas, but this was surely exciting.