Monday, July 17, 2006

PROPHECY GIRL WATCHES ESPN!

In fact, she wrote this as she was watching ESPN! Because that's just how on top of things we are here at Jake Watch. She also had to quit watching after Jake presented because there was a baseball game on before the awards which made it start late and she has to wake up very early in the morning. :(

A quick recap of all things important about the 2006 ESPY Awards hosted by Lance Armstrong:

The Joke. The joke we all hoped would not happen. The joke which caused nightmares for those of us who heard about it being practiced during rehearsal...IT HAPPENED. Like a train wreck...

Lance: "We've also got a lot of Hollywood celebrities in the audience. Fresh from his Oscar nomination for Brokeback Mountain, my good friend Jake Gyllenhaal!"

(applause and reaction shot of Jake looking Oscar-nominated-happy)

Wait for it, wait for it...

Lance: "Jake, why are you sitting in the front? I thought you liked it in the rear."

(audience groans, boos, cheers, like, "Oh no, you didn't!!"; reaction shot of Jake throwing his head back like, "Oh no, you didn't!!")

Lance ("Oh yes, I did!!"): "In the rear of the theater, you sickos!"

Prophecy Girl: "Jake, I'm so sorry."

Then Lance went on to introduce "Sexiest Man Alive" (my ass) Matthew McConaughey.

Lance: "We don't have to turn and look. We all know what he looks like. Jake! Eyes up here!"

Prophecy Girl: "Oh, Jake, I'm SO SORRY!"

Somewhere in Los Angeles, Ted Casablanca jumps up and down on his bed in his jammies.

Then the awards started being given out and each one was accompanied by an hour-long video montage of the four nominees in each category. Whenever an award was given out, the presenters prefaced it with, "And the fans have decided..." So apparently this is a fan-oriented thing. I really didn't know because I've never watched ESPN before in my life.

Other observations: Janet Jackson is not a very good presenter. Keifer Sutherland is only 1/4 the size of Venus Williams. And Mariah Carey is completely incapable of opening up an envelope. Who knew? Also, the "most close-ups award" goes to McConaughey, hands down, which is odd since he's not even an athlete.

Towards the middle, Lance gave a moving speech about cancer and told the audience that half the people in the room would be diagnosed at some point in their lives. He symbolically moved his hands to indicate he was halving the audience (suspiciously gesturing in Jake's direction) and then...we get a reaction shot of Jake, who, appropriately, looks like he might cry. We're less than an hour in and Lance has already called him gay twice and told him he was going to get cancer. Jake, I don't know if this friendship is the best thing for you.

Next up is our buddy Matt, whose shirt is only half-buttoned and whose sunglasses (!) are hanging off of said shirt, like it's part of his outfit (and as the evening progresses, it becomes sadly apparent that this is, indeed, a fashion statement). What the hell? Every other person there managed to at least button up their shirt. Jake, I mean come on here! This is who you want to hang out with? Instead of me? Dude. Matt presented an award to an inspirational basketball team from New Orleans, although I was focused more on how stoned he looked than how inspirational the team was.

Then there was a whole bunch of other stuff that I wasn't really paying attention to. Maybe we can find this on YouTube and Anneka can do a real recap. Blah blah blah. Terrell Owens becomes Person #2 to be called gay. Apparently he wrote a gay book. Whatever. OK, Jake! Finally! The ESPY for "Best Moment" (at least they gave him a decent award.)

Jake comes out. Reading Terrell Owens' gay book. Oh, good God, Jake! You don't have to do this!

Jake (still pretending to read): "There's a lot of good stuff in here. But I'm going to let the beginning of the show go."

The first part of that statement could not been more unenthusiastic and the second part sounded a little bitter. I don't blame you, pal. I'm boycotting ESPN after this and it's all for you! Oh, wait. You're still talking...

Jake: "Sports are more amazing than fiction, more compelling than movies, more thrilling than anything we can imagine."

I'm not buying it. Jake most definitely is not either. He's "fresh from his Oscar nomination" and I don't believe for a second he thinks sports are that exciting. I also don't believe for a second he enjoyed being the running joke of the night (I'd never treat you like crap, Jake!). At least he got to give his award to a rightfully enthusiastic winner.

I think there was an award or two after that, but I was just there for the Gyllenhaal. Also, I managed to get this up before the awards show actually ended so take that other blogs!! Goodnight!

EDIT: Here are a few more pics of Jake from the awards which look a lot like all the other pictures we've already seen of Jake from the awards, but I promise they aren't the same ones as britpop put up. This is a sleight of hand manuever on my part to distract you from whatever I wrote above that was offensive to some of you. Let's take a moment to reflect on why we're all here to begin with:

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And a big thanks to Karin for finding this:

104 comments:

Anonymous said...

We're less than an hour in and Lance has already called him gay twice and told him he was going to get cancer. Jake, I don't know if this friendship is the best thing for you.

Okay I actually did think the eyes up here joke was kind of funny but I had to laugh out loud at what you just said. Ha, I didn't even think of that.

Anonymous said...

I don't believe for a second he thinks sports are that exciting.

I don't know about that. I don't know if he likes sports better than movie making but he does seem to be extremely into them including surfing, baseball, basketball, cycling, skateboarding, and skiing/snowboarding (don't know which that last one was). He seems to spend most of his free time doing some kind of sport. I did find it kind of funny how in his Oscar monologue he talks about how everyone needs to go see movies in the theater and how great they are and then suddenly this monologue has him saying sports are better.

Maybe it's just me but Jake's eyes actually appeared to be glittering. It was obviously the lighting and maybe I just didn't look close enough at the other presenters but he's the only one's whose eyes appeared that way to me.

gin said...

I also don't believe for a second he enjoyed being the running joke of the night

I don't believe that either. I didn't watch the awards...because I could give a crap less about all sports but ice hockey and also I was out seeing "Pirates"...but I did see a video of the so called joke online. Apparently Jake knew beforehand. I guess he has a great sense of humor but to me it's not all that funny. Of course, I'm not him...sooo if he's not pissed I guess I'm not either. :)

dani said...

Wow, PG, I just finished watching the show and you are way ahead of the game with a recap already. After Jake, the show was pracically over so you didn't miss anything.

According to the E entertainement show the other night, Jake was aware of the joke Lance was going to make at his expense. Lance said Jake is a friend and he wouldn't spring something like that on him.

Well, if he considers Jake a friend I don't think he would have thought it was a funny thing to do. Jake was being a good sport in taking it once again. Poor guy, Enough already.

Anon 9:02 said it appeared that Jake's eyes were glistening. I thought so too. It seemed that he was very moved by the accomplishment of the young man he presented the award to. Jake is such a sensistive sweet person.

Finally, I agree that no way in hell can Matthew be considered the Sexiest Man Alive as long as Jake exists in this world. No comparison. And PEOPLE magazine better rectify this situation soon!

Dottieb said...

Did PG and I watch the same show? His laugh certainly looked genuine to me! To watch Lance's comments, it didn't seem nearly as bad as reading about it ahead of time. But BBM jokes were never very funny, and no topical joke is funny when it's six months old!

Anonymous said...

Great post Prophecy Girl. And holy unfunny Brokeback jokes, Lance. I definitely had an "Oh hell no" reaction. I like that Jake just laughs it off. The absolute sexiest thing about Jake for me is that he is so confident in his sexuality that he honestly doesn't care when people imply that he's gay. That's the sexiest thing. And his gorgeous smile. And rock hard abs. And that scene in "Brokeback" when he rolls on top of Heath Ledger.Shirtless.
But yeah, lame joke.

dani said...

Anon 9:46, you are right about Jake not caring whether people think he's gay or not. That does make him incredibly sexy. I like it that he's not one of those people who has to be seen with a woman around him at all times so that no one will think for a minute that he might be gay. He just hangs with whomever he wants to be with. That's cool.....I also love that particular scene in Brokeback.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, that scene. . . . But in the book, he didn't have anything on. . . . ;-)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, I think I have to disagree, I think Jake is very into sports. He's a big Lakers fan supposedly, and he's been shown to really enjoy biking, surfing, playing baseball and basketball and he's a Beckham fan as well. I think you're wrong, I think he's very into sports. But I do agree, that they didn't appreciate his presence enough at the awards. To be the butt of the jokes like that - and from people he so admires. I was a bit sad for him, but he took it all in stride and played it very well. Can't wait till Zodiac comes out and they all get off his case. And Mathew McConahy (sp?) is NOT the sexiest man alive - no way! And did you see Matt's reaction to the Afghan women? Too UNimpressed, if ya ask me.Maybe he was stunned. They WERE SO impressive. I thought it was all fairly entertaining, and it's the first time I watched - not being a big sports fan at all - only tuning in for our Jake. I thought he was great. As always.

Kiki (of West Palm Beach)

Anonymous said...

Oh, forgot to say "Excellent blog, PG." You're doing a wonderful job! Keeping at it like you are, and such wit. Really enjoyed this last one. Thanks a lot.

Kiki

Jan from Canada said...

I realize tonights ESPY award show, it was hard to decipher clearly what Jake actually said when it showed him coming out and pretending he was reading the T.O. book but he actually said "There's alot of "gay stuff" in here (not good stuff).

I'm so tired of all the BBM jokes at Jake's expense most of the time. Its so unfair to him, and what the movie was all about. Jake is such a gentlemen! The award Jake presented was also so befitting for him too. You could tell Jake was touched by the young man that won.

DottieB said...

Jan from Canada said...
. . it was hard to decipher clearly what Jake actually said when it showed him coming out and pretending he was reading the T.O. book but he actually said "There's alot of "gay stuff" in here (not good stuff).

-- I heard it that way, too. So if he's making jokes, he can't really mind that others do. I think his dismissal of the earlier stuff was done in humor. He's a wisecracker, and he's good at it. Better than the scripted stuff the others did.

cina said...

I have now come to the conclusion that having my breakfast and reading this blog at the same time is a VERY bad idea. I don't have time to clean my computer from my half-chewed sandwich and tea every freakin' morning...! LOL!!

*thumbs up* PG - once again great job!

karin said...

jake knew about joke and thought it was funny. lance went to him before he told the joke for jakes approval. here is you tube that proves it. lance is a good friend. i like the fact he asked first.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjQtnafCS88

Anonymous said...

"Sports are more amazing than fiction, more compelling than movies, more thrilling than anything we can imagine."

Jake is more amazing than fiction, more compelling than movies, AND more thrilling than anything we can imagine.

:)

Anonymous said...

PG, thank you for putting into words EXACTLY how I felt about this show and the people participating. Cringe, cringe, cring.

And anon9:46, I love you.

Dottieb said...

Thanks for setting the record straight, Karin.

phoebe said...

Well, whether Jake knew about the joke (which he apparantly did) or not, I still don't find it funny at all. Enough already! I mean for pete's sake..

PG, you're hilarious! You actually made me wish, for the first time in my entire life being the so-NON-sports-fan that I am, I had ESPN! Wait, did I just say that?!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I realize that Jake knew about the joke at the beginning beforehand....I still find it hard to believe that it didn't bother him though cause I'm sure that its getting very old all of the BBM jokes, moreso at his expense it seems. I think he'd have to pretend to go along and say oh yeah, the BBM/gay jokes are no big deal sort of as a cover in a way sort of speak I think. I don't know, that's just my take on it. I bet you'd never catch any celebrity dare making gay jokes out loud about Tom Cruise....he'd probably sue them all! LOL

winterbird said...

doesn't matter if Lance asked Jake beforehand. What could he say? "No, that's not cool"? he can't win. If he says anything about these jokes, then people will say he's an a** or has no sense of humour, if he doesn't say anything, they will just keep coming. The appalling thing is, most people still think IT'S PERFECTLY OK to make gay jokes (esp those that aren't even funny). I feel sick.

Anonymous said...

Exactly winterbird, whether jake knew is irrelevant. Whether he thinks it's funny or not is irrelevant. It's still a homophobic joke and that's sufficient to make it suck. Lance's "you people are sick" -- allowing for the possibility that anyone might enjoy gay sex -- capped its homophobia.

Anonymous said...

Very true winterbird....Jake can't win either way! To me, he's a pretty sensitive guy cause I get that sense from him but, I think he's going to be forced into having a thick skin to have to deal all with the gay and BBM jokes that seem like will never end.

Girl Friday said...

Did PG and I watch the same show? His laugh certainly looked genuine to me!

I remember watching some footage of Jake when he was at the Palm Springs film festival. The footage was from a papp watching Jake during a photo op. Jake said something like, "Wanna see something?" then he started to spontaneously laugh outloud as they snapped photos.

In any case, he was at the run through, he was informed of the joke before the show and he was laughing accordingly because that's what he is supposed to do but can you laugh at the same joke genuinely on camera after you'd heard it twice before? No, probably not. He's an actor and he has to give the impression of having a good time so he did.

Granted, I don't know and have never met the man but from what I understand -- he seems to come off as a real people pleaser. In other words he likes the attention and the approval of others. He's mentioned as much in his interviews and his desire to do less of this.

I use to be a lot like this and then I realized that at the end of the day when I was alone and I felt emotionally drained, it wasn't really worth it. At that point I discovered my inner bitch and then decided to use my bitch-craft to fight evil and injustice in the world. I learned to master the F-You smile and laugh. When I'm smiling and or laughing at work or at parties, I'm really thinking -- "F-You!" It's a good tactic to have in your arsenal.

Anonymous said...

I've read the T. Owens book, OT and it's not a gay book, and there is no gay stuff in there if i remeber corectly. Jake was only joking. It's a rather poorly written book about Terrell's battles off and on the field. He is full of himself and a bore. Since Jake was presenting the best sporting moment, I guess they were to make a joke that Terrell antics wouldn't be considered as great sports moments. I don't know why Jake decided to go the gay route.

cina said...

Somewhere in Los Angeles, Ted Casablanca jumps up and down on his bed in his jammies.

LMAO!!!!

I don't know why Jake decided to go the gay route.

Probably because there was as much truth in that as in Lance's jokes.

zoo said...

Lance Armstrong is a tosser. Can I say that? I'll say it again. Lance Armstrong is a tosser.

Not because he implies Jake is gay, but because he implies being gay is a bad thing by making the umpteenth crap joke about Brokeback Mountain, while taking the piss out of Jake and making him uncomfortable.

Lance Armstrong is a tosser.

PG, thank you, that was a top report. Even in my rage you managed to make me laugh.

zoo said...

The ESPY clips are here at IHJ: http://iheartjake.suddenlaunch.com/index.cgi?board=gyllenhaalics&action=display&num=1153106547

SquallCloud said...

This was funny. I didn't see any of the MTV tension in Jakey so I allowed myself to laugh along. Mat McC looked dirty. I love Jakey. I hope he keeps up the facial grooming! His lips are so sensuous. I think he said "There's a lot of gay stuff in this book." I was like "Oh Jakey dont' stoop to there level! Soon Chronicles will come out and you wont' be the gay joke at every award show dont' succumb to the locker room pressure to make gay jokes too!"

SquallCloud said...

Let me also say that Jake not caring about being called gay is sexy. Jake courting his gay following makes me swoon. He just likes attention and admiration no matter what quarter it's coming from.

zoo said...

"Oh Jakey dont' stoop to there level! Soon Chronicles will come out and you wont' be the gay joke at every award show dont' succumb to the locker room pressure to make gay jokes too!"

Exactly, Squall. Exactly. Not that I blame him - he has my loyalty and support whatever he does. I blame the machinery around him that necessitates such bollocks.

Anonymous said...

I can't imagine an actor like Jake preferring sports over movies. That would be like Lance Armstrong saying he really prefers soccer over cycling. NO, dude. Just NO.

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ That's exactly what I meant. I did not mean to imply in any way that Jake didn't like sports (clearly he's quite the athlete), but the statement he read was so over-the-top! I just don't think that a movie star from a family of writers/directors/actors would honestly think that sports are better than storytelling. I just thought he looked a little uncomfortable at times but maybe it's because I was tired and trying to watch and type at the same time. :)

Kendra said...

"I blame the machinery around him that necessitates such bollocks."
I agree, zoo. This childish circus around awards machinery is fueled by jokes of this kind, it's like popcorn buckets sold at theatres: inevitable.

moonbeams said...

Thanks so much PG. You mirrored my feelings exactly.Excellent post!That second, "eyes up here Jake" did it for me. You're right as rain, ZOO. Lance is a tosser. I wanted to smack him and tell him "Dude! You don't get to say that!" And it is irrelevant to me that Jake is alleged to have "not minded." He's not the poster boy for bad gay jokes. All this self-conscious humor, or what passes for humor IS homophobic, as Lance so able demonstrated. And just as an aside, I'm SURE there were some gay athletes in the house who didn't think it was funny worth a damn. I absolutely HATE to think of Jake out somewhere at a social gathering or industry function, or walking down a street, and having people he barely knows, or strangers or whatever, assuming a level of familiarity with him that allows them to tease, ridicule or otherwise harass with this lame crap. And for me the most damning thing a guy of Lance Armstrong's staure did last night, was give the impression that it's OK to do that. I hate it.

nice anonymous said...

Jake's following a really interesting PR strategy regarding the rumors about him being gay or bisexual. He's not doing what certain other actors have done before him. His representatives aren't countering it with locker room talk about how many sweet young things he's bedding every night. And he's not out in a very public venue every evening with his arm around a blonde. Jake is either laughing along with them -- at least feigning amusement, no matter how he feels privately -- or taking the high road & defending "Brokeback Mountain" as a serious work of art. (As it deserves to be treated.) I just think this is a very adult, very evolved (for want of a better term) way of handling his situation. He's certainly confronting all the talk, rather than ignoring it. And his shrugging it off or laughing along is more in keeping with the way his younger audience views the issue of sexual preference. I say: Kudos to him & to his PR handlers.

nice anonymous said...

Oh, and let me add here, in case it wasn't clear from my post, that I think the gay jokes concerning Jake's role in "Brokeback Mountain" are getting really old. The movie was far too fine to deserve that kind of treatment. Jay did some of the best work of his career in it. And, of course, being gay isn't automatically a joke. (Though sex in general is fair game to joke about, because it's both thrilling & somewhat ridiculous.) What I'm praising here is Jake's handling of these jokes. I wish "handling" wasn't necessary -- I wish the jokes weren't being made, in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Heath didn't attend any show since promoting BBM, and i think that's good. I think Jake should take a break from shows till promotion for his new movie begins. Those BBM jokes aren't funny anymore imo. I just fear the public will get tired of him and those jokes.

Anonymous said...

What really pisses me is that it seems that the BBM jokes have now morphed into Jake jokes. It's old, and tired and very homophobic, and for that reason, very sad to me, but I sincerely hope that Jake signs on the dotted line and gets some new projects line up awfully soon. And he can start promoting the Fincher project. I ached for him last night. I imagined him at the party afterwards and people who knew who he was, or who might have barely knew him at all, after a few drinks, feeling a comfort level or a familiarity to carry the joke on. And don't think that stuff doesn't happen. These rotters are putting a new spin on the phrase "career defining performance." I think Jake needs to take a page out of Heath's book, too. Enough. Jake has causes he is interested in. If he was to promote something let him be defined for that in between film projects. I hate what Lance Armstrong did. I really do. Jake's management team needs to re-evaluate how they deal with this crap.

zoo said...

I've finally managed to watch that E! clip from YouTube. Lance Armstrong looks as sincere as Pinocchio in that interview. Jake probably knew about the joke. Jake may or may not have minded about it. But I wouldn't base my assessment of the situash on that interview with Plastic Fantastic Lance.

gin said...

Anon 6:36 I would like to agree with and second every single word you just said. Thank you. :)
Since it's all just speculation anyway, I'm sticking with my opinion that I don't think Jake finds it funny. I think he feels obligated to go along. I think it's a bad strategy and I feel sorry for him. That's all. :)

Anonymous said...

6:36 AM, very well said. Oh, and Jake needs some new friends.

Anonymous said...

Whether Jake knew about the “joke” is irrelevant, what is he supposed to say to Lance?- Please don’t say it! ? The best weapon against these kind of crass jokes where people are eager to see your “reaction” is to be nonchalant about it, it’s another way of saying nobody can get on my nerves.

Jake, as usual, did not disappoint, acted very classy. For a young man at the age of 25, he acted very mature.

Jake DOES NOT hide or avoid, he carries on his life as he wishes (at least to a certain degree), because he knows deep down in his heart who he is and everything relating to fame can be transient and pass quickly. It gives me hope to see a young man, surrounded by the juvenile glare and gossips of Hollywood, appear at awards shows by himself and not cave to the pressure of having to bring a “date” along. He must be an incredibly strong and self-assured person. Kudos to him.

Anonymous said...

Someone mentioned that Jake likes the attention. Maybe he really didn't mind the joke? Who knows.
If i were him i'd like to get attention for my performances and not this kind of attention. Although, i don't know Jake personally, so i could be completely wrong with my theorie.

moonbeams said...

Ditto 6:36! The thing of it is, there are all sorts of people with whom we have superficial relationships, much more so in Jake's line of work. Folk are always grasping after the familiar...what is in the public domain, what they think they know about you... and for Jake it is that he's becoming the butt of homophobic gay humor. Ang Lee doesn't invite such reactions, Heath doesn't...but then they have both stayed away from this awards show stuff, and also have announced new projects. They have moved on. I don't think anyone would accuse either of them of not being supportive of these important human rights issues. I think Jake needs to move on. I think he wants to move on. I think Lance Armstrong and the producers of this show are rotten.

Anonymous said...

Yes, i also think, Jake needs to move on.

Prophecy Girl said...

Moonbeams, I'm so glad you de-anonymous-ed yourself. I totally agree with what you've said and I think Jake got screwed when they pushed back the premiere of Zodiac. He could be in the "moving on" stage, but with his next movie pushed back several months, what can he do? The only thing I'll say about the interview with Lance is that I thought it was hilarious when the interviewer said something about him riding with Jake and Matt and Lance's response was, "Yeah, Jake's a great rider," (I know I misquoted that). Basically, Matt sucks. ;)

Anonymous said...

I think Jake is a bit too eager to please, and this case it's with his idol Lance. But enough already with the BBM inspired gay jokes.

Anonymous said...

I think Lance is jealous of Jake. He's younger, gorgeous, healty and has a hotter body without having to spend his life on a bicycle. Fuck you Lance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

beignet said...

I fell asleep right after the first award was givien out. Next thing I knew my husband nudged me and said, "wake up, your boyfriend is about to present." I was so proud of the hubby!!

Kiki said...

Dear PG, I just want to apologize if I came off as being offended or too harsh in my comments - I just meant to express an opposite opinion. And when I wrote "Mat McC is NOT the sexiest man alive, no way" which may have come off a bit loud, I was disagreeing with People Mag, not you PG. (Mr. McC just bugs me - I think it's the cockiness.)

I really enjoy ALL you've written. And I didn't think you were offensive in the slightest.

Kiki, WPB

zoo said...

Hear hear Beignet. Here is to long-suffering husbands and boyfriends who endure our Gyllenmania with a smile on their face.

Prophecy Girl said...

Kiki, my comments weren't directed at anyone in particular, and certainly not you, so don't worry. :) I've just noticed an increasingly level of hostility regarding several things on this blog lately and I just want us all to get along!! :( At the core, aren't we all just Jake fans? That's why we're here! We should get back to that.

Anonymous said...

Well, there was a sighting on IHeartJake of Jake in Austin, TX with Lance Armstrong on Saturday.

http://iheartjake.suddenlaunch.com/index.cgi?board=encounters&action=display&num=1153040113

only1annabel said...

Prophecy girl your doing a great job while our fearless leader is away! I can see why the blog was left in your capable hands!
As for the ESPY's, I'm in England and dont have all sky and extra channels so would not have been able to watch them even if I'd wanted to but thanks to you I now know what I'd have been missing... Jake=butt of all jokes!
Keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

I don't think it wss an insult to Jake being implied as being gay in the jokes. Linking being gay right along with having cancer is more of an insult in my book. This blog is ten times worse than the show was.

zoo said...

Just ignore the troll, everyone. Remember Dr. Tanya's message: don't encourage naughty behaviour by giving it any attention. ;-)

Anonymous said...

2:56 am said: I don't know why Jake decided to go the gay route.

It's doubtful that it was Jake that chose to go the "gay route". If you watched the whole ceremony, Jimmy Kimmel and T.Owens were onstage directly before Jake. When T.Owens pulled his book out, Jimmy asked him if that was the book with all the gay stuff in it. Cue Jake coming out pretty much seconds after Jimmy and Owens were on stage and Jake is holding that same book and opens with his comment about it really having a lot of gay stuff in there. It was most definitely a scripted line because of Jimmy being the one to start it off.

Nothing Really Matters said...

PG i think you need to come back to British time! I'm really lost now ;-(

Why can't we have seen this show! The TV people are so mean! Thanks for thr report PG!

kokodee said...

Wow, nice recap PG. Thanks so much.
I havew enjoyed reading all the comments here as well, but I just wanted to add that I did find it funny.
Yes, its all getting a bit old and hopefully this would be the last of them for a really long time, but in the context of Jake being made aware of it beforehand, I allowed myself to laugh.
"Jake, eyes up here!" (at me, of course)is my new slogan

Den Of Thieves said...

I agree with you, moonbeams. I was the poster who said that the sexiest thing was that Jake didn't mind the jokes. But that doesn't make it alright. Lance's "you sick people" comment pissed me off. So now being gay is sick? Um, I don't think so Lance. I think that Brokeback Mountain reached a lot of people and I had hoped that it might have helped gay people to be more accepted in society. And then I see this display. It's not that I don't have a sense of humor. But homophobic jokes have never, and well never be funny. Lance Armstrong needs to recognize. Just because Jake doesn't threaten to sue and the mere suggestion that he's homosexual doesn't give anyone free reign to make him the but of jokes that aren't even funny.

wtbgirl said...

After reading the recap of "The Joke" I must admit I am glad I skipped the ESPYs in favor of watching HBO's Deadwood and Entourage (which, as I predicted to ALL of my friends months ago, BLATANTLY ripped off the real-life event in which Tobey Maguire almost lost his Spiderman role to Jake, although even I was shocked that they had Vinnie Chase loisng Aquaman 2 to ... who else ... Jake! Although one caveat - if Entourage were real, I think career-wise, Jake at this point is WAY beyond taking on Vince's sloppy Michael Bay-directed Aquaman seconds.)

In any event, back on topic. I have to admit I have been laying low this past week or two - to be perfectly frank, all of this Jake-Lance-Matt bonding is becoming increasingly unappealing to me, because with the exception of Lance's admirable cancer-fundraising, I tend to think of Jake as a million times smarter and overall better person than these two party-hearty guys. I kind of hoped the whole Jake hanging with Armstrong and McBongo was over and done with, and was really just an opportunity for Jake to cycle with a champion cyclist.

I'd party with McBongo for sh*ts and giggles, maybe, but I don't think either of these guys are particularly good role models - and watching Jake socialize with these two has been kind of been a turn-off for me, to tell you the truth. Of course I know, I know, he can hang out with whoever he wants, but I admit, my feelings on this subject are a bit ... conflicted at best.

I am mentioning this mostly because I have been absent from the board this week, and this is the primary reason. Oh well, venting time - done now.

Anna said...

nice anonymous wrote:
I think the gay jokes concerning Jake's role in "Brokeback Mountain" are getting really old. The movie was far too fine to deserve that kind of treatment.

This is exactly my problem with all the gay jokes. In a way I really don't care how Jake feels about the jokes, though I hope they end soon, because he's got to be pretty sick of them by now. What really annoys me is that they reduce this amazing film to a couple of (or plenty of) crude jokes. It feels like an insult to me that this is all they have to say about Brokeback Mountain.

I want to say that they're all homophobic cowards, afraid to acknowledge the beauty and wonder of this film, but that's probably just my disappointment speaking...

And as many of you, I don't believe Jake could actually have stopped the joke. I don't think Lance "wrote" it himself either. Remember the crappy speach Jake and Heath had to make on the SAG awards? It's all scripted...

Marie said...

Just chiming in with my two cents to say these BBM jokes are LAME and sooo over. They were never funny to begin with and did nothing but reveal a level of immaturity and homophobia in the culture that is just not cool. Are straight men really that pathetic that they feel the need to make stupid jokes and macho statements to prove that they're not *gasp* gay? Jeez, I wish they'd all grow up.

What I hate about these jokes is that they cheapen my most favorite movie in the whole world. BBM is a a work of art. It is a beautifully made and moving film with amazing performances. Would these same people make Jewish jokes about Schindler's List? It pisses me off that this type of bigotry is still acceptable to some people.

Poor Jake is in a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation. But the class with which he handles these types of incidents (whether he knew about these jokes beforehand or not) makes him look head and shoulders above the idiots making these stupid jokes.

And, lastly, I do agree that the way Jakes handles the rumors about his sexuality makes him even sexier. He knows who he is and what he is and doesn't feel the need to explain to anybody. I love that confidence.

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Okay, maybe this is just me being a Gyllenhaalic, but I was a teensy bit pissed that they didn't show Jake in the audience more. They showed waay too much ugly Matt and minimal gorgeous Jake.

And that thing at the beginning, with like all those clips before they started the awards? Endless. I almost just said "Screw it" and watched something else. But I did it for Jakey. He better appreciate that.

The Bearded Lady said...

Hello! WtbGirl, you were missed...and I agree with what you just said.
Although I did stay up just to see Jake present... I sat thru Lance's offensive jokes too..but finally, as if they were holding out the best for last...Jake came on stage!
He was great and distingished...classy and gave out a heartwarming award...a high point of the night in my opinion.

moonbeams said...

Actualy, smurf, given the "gay" theme that ran thru the show, I was almost relieved when they didn't keep flashing to Jake. There were so many poster boys for bad behavior in the audience, I guess they had to eschew their normal tabloid sensitivities and try to get all the 'right'shots.
Two things: When Jake came out with the T.O. book, it wasnawfully clear, but I got the impression a very sober, serious Jake came out saying, "there's no gay stuff in here" and then "I'll try to let that go about what was said at the beginning of the show.." or something like that. At any rate, he didn't look pleased or relaxed. The other thing is this: Matt and Ashley Judd had a much larger narrative with their presentations. Jake seemd to care a lot about the young man who won, but otherwise sort of phoned it in. Of course, I might be projecting the fact that my heart was achy by then. He was definitely in with the wrong crowd, a bunch of homophobic, insecure jocks. And you know what? That show was live. If Lance Armstrong was a firend, or if he had any political or social consciousness at all, he could have NOT said a couple of those lines....like "Jake, eyes up here." In my bonesI believe Jake's been hanging around LA bcz things might be "percolating" vis a vis future projects...GAWD! I hope so.Jakey has so many wonderful friends. I wish he'd get back to them!

cina said...

I just want to say "welcome" to all the new names here. It's nice to see less people posting as anonymous! :-)

Agnes said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Agnes said...

At the core, aren't we all just Jake fans? That's why we're here! We should get back to that.

I agree with you PG :) and thanks for the report!

stupidmansuit said...

What's interesting to me is that Jake is the one who admires Lance but manages to exude more maturity, class and grace than his idol could ever dare to. It's natural for Jake...this effortless goodness and warmth he has. Even if he was sincerely okay with the jokes, Lance should have told them, "Look,he's my friend. A good guy, and I'm not saying this crap."

wtbgirl said...

Having not watched the show I can only add commentary on how "The Joke" appears, at least on paper. Maybe the overall tone was different.

I suppose the use of the term "sickos" is what disturbs and saddens me the most - partially because I doubt Lance Armstrong even UNDERSTANDS remotely WHY it's so offensive, I'm sure in his mind he thought he was just making a joke. And maybe that is the saddest part of all, how ingrained in the culture this all is.

I've heard enough lame BBM jokes to last a lifetime and I'm pretty immune to it all at this point.
Making a joke that crudely alludes to homosexual sexual behavior is one thing, and perhaps that's bad enough for some - but then to completely and utterly disparage even the thought of that sort of sexual behavior as something only "sickos" would even fathom, falls into the category of outright bigotry, in my opinion. ick.

The Bearded Lady said...

Sorry to say but what you see in print is pretty much how it was...
But Lance is goldenboy so he can do no wrong...and onward the show went...
My prediction is he (Lance) will try to parlay his fame into acting roles ...cameos in films etc..."comming to a screen near you!"....so look out and check your local listings
Anyway there's always CSPAN if all else fails.

Simon Agent 002 said...

Well I felt bad for Jake.
They were a crude jokes. and all done infront of packed room to be broadcast on national television.
Nothing like cameras and people turning to stare at you after you've been made the butt of an anal joke. (seriously no pun intended)
Could have Lance hosted with diginity and skip the attempt at being a comic?

kokodee said...

I just want to say "welcome" to all the new names here. It's nice to see less people posting as anonymous! :-)

Ditto! its always nice to put a name to a comment, you are all very welcome.

Dottieb said...

Smurfeyschmoo said, ". . . I was a teensy bit pissed that they didn't show Jake in the audience more."


And wouldn't have shown him at all if Lance hadn't made the jokes!

cina said...

Btw, Jake looks just boootiful in those pics.... Like someone said in an earlier topic - can that man hang a suit or what?! DAMN.

dani said...

It is so sad that Jake has to continously be exposed to these lame jokes. As someone said earlier it's as if he has become the joke and not just the movie.

That he still keeps going about his life and appearing at these award shows with his head up high makes him so much better than everyone else.

I just hope he never feels he made a mistake by taking on the role of Jack Twist. I don't know him, but I am so proud that he is part of this beautiful masterpiece, but it saddens me that it is being cheapened by such asinine comments.

I also think Jake either needs to get some better friends or get back to the good ones he already has. He is such a good person and deserves so much more than this.

I know Lance is a hero to Jake, but we all make mistakes in character judgement sometimes. Hopefully. Jake will see this soon if he hasn't already and back away from what is clearly not good for him.

SquallCloud said...

I don't know. I want Jake to move on and stop having to be subjected to this bullshit but in a way I feel like his nonchalance about it is really empowering. Being bi, it's nice that a hot celeb doesn't feel the need to "Deny! Deny! DENY!" rumors of his aleged bisexuality but has fun with it. I just hate the assholes who take advantage. For instance it's totally fine and hot hot hot for Jakey to do sexy pictorals for men's mags but enduring undending Ranch Hand Job jokes and even last nights "liked it in the rear... you sickos!" bullshit is not what I want him to have to go through because I'm sure the Ladies Who Lunch that run his career are none too happy and their probably started to get way pressury about it.

I hope this whoel ordeal doesnt' sour him to gay causes and his gay fanbase. :o(

Anonymous said...

You guys act like Jake doesn't have a mind of how own and is a helpless victim in this. I don't see him that way at all. Imo, if you didn't like the jokes, you would have to blame Jake just as much as Lance here for agreeing to take part in it.

As others mentioned, these shows are always scripted and Jake knew what was going to be said. Lance's jokes, Jake walking out and carrying the book.. Jake was in on it and agreed to it. I think everyone is taking it too seriously.

Should Jake not have been comfortable with it he could have easily said to Lance or to his agent "Well, I think that's too much, it might make people uncomfortable." which he obviously didn't say. In fact, he didn't have to take part at all. I didn't really find the jokes very funny myself, but given the tone of this particular award show, (male driven sports awards which usually have that stupid macho slant) they probably felt the jokes would work their way into the entertainment and the response would be good. It was definitely all very calculated.

Girl Friday said...

Apparently the people at the New York Times weren't too thrilled either at the jokes.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/18/sports/18sandomir.html

Dottieb said...

Bobbie said: Lance's "you sick people" comment pissed me off. So now being gay is sick?

=== No, no, Lance wasn't calling gays sick, the remark was directed to the audience. He was calling the audience sick - having dirty minds - for assuming he was saying Jake liked it in the rear (end) when he "really" meant rear of the theater. Of course the audience assumed exactly what he wanted them to assume. It's a common comedian's trick.

Anonymous said...

Why would it be sick to assume that anyone liked it in the rear unless you believe liking it in the rear is sick. It's homophobia.

SquallCloud said...

Good point anon 9:31 he was hardly the lamb out to slaughter but there is a lot of pressure to conform in Hollywood and publicity is publicity I suppose. *sigh* I wish people would see the film for what it is and stop trying to laugh at it. Such a touching and amazing story. Also, what anon 2:47 said.

*sigh* Jake looked so pretty.

Anonymous said...

What 2.47 said, and what squallcloud said (cubed).

The Bearded Lady said...

"Why would it be sick to assume that anyone liked it in the rear unless you believe liking it in the rear is sick. It's homophobia."

No it's replusive because it's "vulgar"...I wouldn't want to hear a heterosexual verison of such a "joke" either.
Here is one dictionary's meaning of the word "vulgar"

Entries found for

"vulgar"

vulgar adj

1. crude or obscene, particularly about sex or bodily functions

2. showing a lack of taste or reasonable moderation

3. lacking in courtesy and manners

4. relating to a form of a language spoken by ordinary people

5. characteristic of or associated with the majority of ordinary people (archaic)

npl

ordinary people regarded or spoken of as a group.

What I do find cruel , mean and
homophobic is people who enjoy ridiculing gay people.
that is sick to me.

moonbeams said...

The New York Times article was very illuminating! And, at least IMVHO, it gives a really clear indication of how deliberate and complex the process was in terms of how the writers, producers and "host" interacted in shaping the show. It's very apparent to me, the "gay humor" theme was going to be foundational to most of the show's 'comedy' and skits. It is also clearer to me, that while pro forma, Lance may have asked Jake if it was OK?, Lance wasn't really asking for guidance, he was asking for an opinion. If Jake had taken the stand that it wasn't OK, would we have seen a manufactured controversy? "Gyllenhaal bows out of ESPYs?" Or "Gyllenhaal protests ESPYs?" It almost makes me wonder. And, yeah, maybe I'm a bit(!) paranoid....but did they invite Jake to appear, bcz they decided to go with gay humor? Or did they decide to go "gay" because of Jake's indentification with BBM? My reaction to the Times article made me ponder these things. The person who really did have the option, of course, was Lance. Maybe he had to do the first joke.... but the eyes front comment was gratuitous. He could have just not said it. And he'd have gotten away with it. And the jock producers at ESPN could have excised the "sicko" remark, but they are not at a level of consciousness where they even considered it might be interpreted as offensive. ESPN is cable. It is broadcast in other places besides the US. I sincerely hope the viewing audience for this show is really small. And I hope it all just fades away...quickly. The very last thing I want to see is Lance embroiled in any controversy, where Jake's put in a position to defend him. Ugh! It would have a serious affect on my ability to keep my lunch down. These are my last delusional ramblings on the subject.

Anonymous said...

The NYT article:

New York Times (July 18, 2006)

And the ESPY for Bad Taste Goes to ...
By RICHARD SANDOMIR

When you don’t expect to hear certain things in a familiar environment, it’s easy to be surprised. Your head turns. Your stomach flips. Your ears quiver. I can’t remember hearing anal-sex jokes on ESPN, so I was stunned to hear Lance Armstrong make one in his monologue at the ESPY Awards show televised Sunday night. The one-liner by Armstrong, the cyclist-turned-host, wasn’t uttered willy-nilly, but to Jake Gyllenhaal, the co-star of “Brokeback Mountain,” who was seated in the front row at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood.

Armstrong got a huge guffaw, and a few gasps, out of the tasteless line, but the surprise was that it survived the editing of the tape. It felt so out of context for a program that followed the Mets’ 13-7 win over the Cubs, although it would have been apt in some areas of Yankee Stadium.

It would have been unacceptable for one “SportsCenter” anchor to make the same crack to another on the air, yet it was O.K. at 9:45 p.m. Eastern during a program in which athletes and Hollywood stars mingle? It’s fine if you’ve brought Carmen Electra, Ludacris and LeBron James together, but not during a bowl game or the N.C.A.A. cheerleading championships?

It would seem so. John Walsh, ESPN’s executive editor and long-time journalistic guide, said that through the first 13 ESPYs, the ESPN empire learned it had to stay positive while celebrating sports and not insult people.

I’m not sure where green-lighting Armstrong’s one-liner fits within the ESPY curriculum of lessons learned. But the rules of propriety must be different when you’re trying to be cool outside stadiums and arenas.

“When you’re trying to attract the best, most contemporary and most talented people from the entertainment community, they have an expectation of being attached to a show that takes risks,” Walsh said.

That attitude apparently sanctions the airing of Armstrong’s crude joke, and, as we scale ESPN’s highbrow mountain, cracks about Armstrong’s remaining testicle. (He is a survivor of testicular cancer.) You have to wonder if someone explained all this to the young Afghan girls who were honored by the ESPYs with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award for defying Taliban authorities to play soccer.

You need not be a prude to believe that there are more appropriate places for such language than an awards presentation that celebrates sports.

But should we view crudeness as evidence of entertainment-world risk — or as a failure of the creative process? The program had a writing staff, and this was the best cutting-edge humor they had? The program was taped last week, and no one at ESPN had the good taste to rule that anal-sex and gay jokes (Armstrong followed one with the other) exhibited a lack of decorum?

Walsh said the anal-sex joke was among the three or four most-discussed items as the ESPYs production team analyzed what to excise for the two-hour broadcast. Finally, it was deemed a “reasonable risk.”

The program cannot be dismissed completely for a few words spoken by Armstrong, hard as they are to expunge from memory. The Ashe award is always moving; so was the story of a high school basketball team from Marrero, La., as it recovered from the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.

Armstrong’s plea for more financing for cancer research was heartfelt, as was the acceptance speech of one ESPY winner, Jason McElwain, the autistic teenager and high school basketball team manager who suited up for a game last February and sank six 3-pointers on his way to scoring 20 points.

But much of the rest was like a mediocre edition of “Saturday Night Live,” pairing Armstrong in sketches with Ben Stiller and Will Ferrell.

This, then, was another episode in the ongoing battle of Good ESPN and Bad ESPN, juggling inspirational stories with the fluffy and the profane.

Good ESPN produces “Outside the Lines” while Bad ESPN creates the now-dead “ESPN Hollywood” daily series, a howlingly awful effort to blend sports and entertainment celebrity news.

Good ESPN televised Sunday’s well-produced ballgame for six and a half innings — with super slow-motion replays that gave terrific portraits of Mets and Cubs batters connecting with the ball — before it gave way to Bad ESPN’s excessive promotion for the ESPYs.

In the bottom of the seventh, the bottom-line scoreboard was replaced by a constant alert (total elapsed time: 32 minutes 17 seconds) that the ESPYs were “Coming Up Next.”

All interest in the results of other games in baseball or other sports was to cease immediately as per Bad ESPN fiat. The announcer Jon Miller also had to hype the ESPYs with outright pitches (“We’re one out away from the ESPYs,” he said), by links to a nominee (the Mets’ David Wright) or by a suggestion for an ESPY for best performance by a 47-year-old (Julio Franco).

Walsh said the reason for such overboard (my word) promotion was to lead those who had watched the ESPYs’ red-carpet show on ESPN2 through the end of the game, which delayed the awards program. “When you’ve invested that much in that kind of show,” he said, “we’ll do everything we can.”

ESPN’s power is such that on nights like Sunday its nickname should be rewritten to be “The Worldwide Leader of Itself.”

E-mail: sportsbiz@nytimes.com

Anonymous said...

I haven't read every comment so this might have already been said,but Jake did actually approve the in the rear joke.Lance asked him before the show and Jake said he loved it?I don't think an in the rear joke is funny ,and why even bother at a sports awards,or anywhere of that matter?I have mixed feelings about it.Anybody else?

Anonymous said...

(I'm anon 9:31pm from above) I wasn't aware until now that Jake "loved" the joke, but I knew he was in on it and had to approve it and I'm honestly not very surpised that he did. Going by TV interviews, I can see Jake as the type that might have that brand of boyish/crude humor. Sort of a no holds barred, everything is game type. As much as we might feel that we know him, we don't. We don't know his own personal sense of humor and what he might find acceptable or funny. I would hope that if he did find it objectionable he wouldn't have agreed to it, that would really be worse, imo.

My feeling is that jokes of that sort might be ok between friends where each knows the others bounds, but not for national television. I think they genuinely thought (or hoped) people would have an innocent laugh over it, at least their target audience, which is whom they were catering to. Course, as we see now, not everyone did. Surely, they now regret their choices considering the negative attention it's receiving. (NY Times and so forth)

Anonymous said...

Yes,have to say it has had a lot of negative press.I can take a joke,and i have a good sense of humour but i can also see it from the other side and how some people could be offended,although the joke was directed at Jake.Lance was on E' and backstage he said he ran it by Jake first as he didn't wanna do that to him out there and according to Lance who did a Jake impression he said "I love it,i love it."(Jake said that)and the gay book reading?What was all that about?Oh well,tomorrow it will be yesterdays news.Literally.lol

msdonniedarko said...

hahah i didnt watch the espys but i wish i did! i would of laugh so hard at thoses jokes i think there fucking funny but that dosent mean i dont love jake i bet he loved thoses jokes to! And i dont think its bad that people make bbm jokes at jakes expence cuz you know there just jelous! i mean what other guys could take it in the ass and still have all the girls wanting him? only jake!!! I love Jake for doing broke back mountain and too for taking the jokes!

The Bearded Lady said...

Jake giving permission is not the point. Because the offensivness of it goes beyond Jake himself.
It was a vulgar remark. As I explained in @6:06...that alone offends me, then add to it that it ridiculed gay people ...offends me more...now do I think it was a nice thing to do to Jake...no....but take him out of it ...it's vulgar and offensive to me!
I really think people don't even understand vulgarity and can recongize it anymore ....how crude would it need to get before it gets noticed anymore....must we sink to feces humor?....vulgarity removes all love from sex and leaves it a mere bodily function...like the animal world...so does it make it ok to me that Jake said fine?.....NO

Anonymous said...

If a lot of people are down on Jake(No pun intended) after the ESPY's,
does this mean the end of Jake watch as we know it?How can people that ONCE liked him before the ESPY charade still come here?There would be no point.So,if he pissed anybody off,then go too another blog!

The Bearded Lady said...

Am I typing with invisible ink? is every other word skipped over?....it's not Jake I have a beef with...it's Lance Armstrong and the ESPY organizers...they are the ones responsible for the remark.
Amazing Janet Jackson exposes her breast and thousands of dollars of fines...and outrage...but smear gay people and it's just a joke...he he

Anonymous said...

You might have a beef with Lance as you put it but Jake agreed to it.So how is he any better or worse then Lance?At the end of the day,it's a boys joke,between friends but unfortunately not everyone will see it like that and i don't blame them.

msdonniedarko said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Lance AND Jake had brain farts that evening - first for Lance to even think that joke would be a good idea, and then Jake reasuring Lance thats its cool with him - WTF!?!?!?! Jake of all people has rolled his own eyes over the gay related jokes and then he thinks its okay for his friend to embarass himself and him? Jake probably wanted to seem all cool about it and not lose his brand new super cool buddy Lance. idiots. For god sakes now Matthew looks more dignified than these two!

Anonymous said...

Yeah and why is it taking it in the rear a 'SICKO' idea, MR Lance Armstrong? You're a jerk and that was a homophobic remark in my own opinion and several others apparently. What an emabarassment he was - the ESPYs lost a SLEWWWWWWWWWwwwwwwwwwww of peopel over that and a ton of intergrity. Niec way to kill a show Armstrong. Then to tell half the audience they'll get cancer - sweet - you're the second coming of fricking host hell. Get the frickin Hollywood out of your eyes Armstrong and stick to a bike or sports you wannabe.

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