Wednesday, July 26, 2006

JAKE WATCH MYSTERY OF THE WEEK: WHERE IS JAKE?

It seems Lance Armstrong is none too shy about disclosing his whereabouts at all times, but traveling companion and sometime actor Jake Gyllenhaal seems a bit more cautious about revealing which country he'll be in from day to day. Since we know Lance should be showing up stateside at any moment, can Jake be far behind?

New York? Los Angeles? Paris? Nice? The North Pole? The South Pole, this time? Where is Jake?! Amazingly enough, the Gyllenhall does not submit a full iternary of his whereabouts to his devoted (if slightly insane) fans here at Jake Watch. Until he realizes how beneficial such a courtesy would be, we must continue to carefully track his every movement via the world wide web. Jake, give us something to work with!

And for those of you who have developed Armstrong-onset avian flu, I offer up:

ALTERNATIVE MYSTERY OF THE WEEK: IS JAKE A CLOSET TRUMPET PLAYER?
I not sure which mystery will prove more difficult to solve!

53 comments:

Anonymous said...

He can play my trumpet anytime.....

Kendra said...

One thing I really like about Jake is (pun intended) that sometimes he doesn't blow his own trumpet when he prefers going unnoticed.

Den Of Thieves said...

lol anonymous 7:36...you took the words right out of my mouth.
I just have to say how much I love this place. I don't comment often but I check this site obsessively. I've been having a really bad day and pictures of Jake (along with the hilarious commentary) definitely brighten it.

gin said...

Ahem...I am going to reserve all the sick comments in my head involving Jake's lips and playing and vibration and hearing music and all that stuff...cuz you either know, or you don't. ;)

SquallCloud said...

I bet Jake is on a secret rendezvous with an indetermed honey. Maybe Natalie... maybe somebody altogeher different.

Anonymous said...

Where are all the Gyllenhaalics?! Jake needs us!

http://movies.msn.com/movies/hottiespoll

Anonymous said...

Looks like Natalie was snapped by the paparazzi in Buenos Aires:

http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/7799361.html#cutid1

I never bought the whole Jake/Natalie linking the gossip mags were trying to pull on us and I actually think it's pretty funny what drastic lengths they go to trying to get gullible readers to buy their stories. I don't know why people even buy those magazines anymore.

Elle said...

http://movies.msn.com/movies/hottiespoll

Dear heaven, another poll so soon? Can our fingers and our nerves stand it?!?!?

Good news is Jakey G is in the Number Two spot right now, cos ahead of him, by a mere 1%, is probably the only guy in the list I'd prefer to vote for ... Johnny Depp. It was a difficult, difficult moment, and it pains me to say my vote must remain a secret ...

Katie of Sweden said...

Is it true he was playing in a band when he was at Columbia? I've never heard about it before. What instrument? Or did he sing?

dottieb said...

I've been voting on that one for several days. Jake led most of today, but is tied with Depp now.

Bad elle, bad bad bad. . . .

Kendra said...

I've voted for Jake another time, and two things: now he is on a draw with Johnny (both 27% votes), I hate James Blunt but the femenine list is worse (Pussycat Dolls).

Kendra said...

And, Katie, I'm not very sure, but I read that Jake Went to elementary school with band members of Maroon 5, then he joined a band called Holeshot during his stay at private high school Harvard-Westlake, and after in Columbia played in another rock band.

cina said...

He was the singer in Holeshot, and eventually got kicked out of the band for stealing the drummer's girlfriend. LOL!

Ania said...

I would like him to come to Poland! but I'm not sure if I could stay alive after such a news...

mrs_dalloway said...

Well,he has to earn his living somehow..I mean..movies and all..are kind of low payment..yeah..that definetly has to be it..

JoyceDavenport said...

*holds hand to ear*

Can't hear for all this noise - a closet what dear?- strumpet?- oh i'm sure he is.

JoyceDavenport said...

Edit: For those not familiar with the term Roget's Thesaurus defines it:

Strumpet

NOUN: A woman who engages in sexual intercourse for payment: bawd, call girl, camp follower, courtesan, harlot, prostitute, scarlet woman, streetwalker, tart2, whore. Slang : hooker, moll. Idioms: lady of easy virtue, lady of pleasure, lady of the night. See SEX

Or 'The Sex'

Nothing Really Matters said...

CLOSET TRUMPET PLAYER! Maybe we could send him a trumpet or send him some crumpet!

Elle said...

NRM said: "Maybe we could send him a trumpet or send him some crumpet!"

Or a strumpet with a trumpet ... or a strumpet with a crumpet in her trumpet ... the possibilities are endless ...

JoyceDavenport said...

Elle said
...or a strumpet with a crumpet in her trumpet ... the possibilities are endless ...

... and the mind boggles!

The Bearded Lady said...

I think he has his tongue caught in the mouthpiece.

That must hurt!

JoyceDavenport said...

^^^Lol- it does look as tho' he's stuck- and it wouldn't surprise me knowing 'The Tongue'

mrs_dalloway said...

it wouldn't surprise me knowing 'The Tongue'

Joyce? do you have something to tell us?

Elle said...

Mrs D, 'The Tongue'is trademark Jake! He's totally perfected that little thing he does with it ... melts .... sighs ....

Nothing Really Matters said...

OT - can anyone else see that the side bar is not at the side but further down the page?

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ It's doing the same thing to me, although when I'm at home on my laptop, it's back to normal. I don't have access to the settings or else I'd mess around with it. I'm sure this is somehow my fault...

Elle said...

NRM - to me it looks fine right now. Sidebar ends about level with the start of the blog post for Monday 24th.

Blogger has a mind of its own sometimes and does weird and wonderful things with posts and layouts and stuff, though, so it doesn't surprise me to see things moving around now and then!

Nothing Really Matters said...

PG it did that to my personal blo gand not to the other and i've not touch anything!

Nothing Really Matters said...

Thanks Elle! PG aybe we have retarded computers!

mrs_dalloway said...

NRM and PG, I get the same thing! weird..I fall asleep scrolling,lol. I think blogger has its own feelings and moods..

Anonymous said...

[i]but traveling companion and sometime actor Jake Gyllenhaal[/i]

That was funny.

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Is it blasphemous to say that I think Jake looks kind of, ah, homeless in that picture? I mean, the coat, the trumpet...looks like his case is at his feet and he's playing for "donations."

wtbgirl said...

In re remark about "traveling companion and sometime actor" - I second that - LMAO!

I would assume Jake will resurface in support of Maggie's big movie premiere for World Trade Center. I wonder if that premieres here in NYC .... hmm ... I can hope. Since spring he has been here at least once a month, until he started cycling the world with Lance ... I am going through major Jake withdrawl - not good!

moonbeams said...

I hope, if he's holed up somewhere with someone, it is Natty, Squallcloud! Seems like she had a traumatic time in BA. Media rumors swirling about Gael's divided heart. Saw the pap pics. If she was with Gael and bodyguard, how come she went after the paps and they didn't? Not very chivalrous. I think Jake would have handled the situation so much better! And he'd provide strength, comfort and...so many other things. If she can't put Jakey to good use,I sure can cause that man is doin' serious damage to my head...and other parts...

smurfette said...

hey, PG, when/where is this pic from? looks to me like a younger JG pic, with the floppy hair, goofy tee (lakers?), and oversized jacket

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ From the enigmatic "Session #6" in the IHJ archives. :)

http://www.iheartjakemedia.com/thumbnails.php?album=342

There's no date, but he's obviously a bit younger in these pics...he also crawls up a lampost in his PJ bottoms in a few of them. Basically, this session was photographic gold. :D

Kendra said...

That's a golden session: I like the pic where he wears a white shirt with "Greedy Bastard" written, and that grey raincoat, I'm enthralled with that mix of prêt-à-porter and indie style!

jla said...

He is sucha cute dork!! And it works for me! Damn that poll...I have to choose between Johhny and Jake!! That's just cruel!!

Anonymous said...

I'm actually getting a bit crazy not knowing where he is.

Elle said...

Damn that poll...I have to choose between Johhny and Jake!! That's just cruel!!

You said it, jla! It's enough to rip a girl's heart in two ...

Kendra said...

Yeah, it's unfair, but c'mon, gals, Jake is hotter than Johnny these days...

smurfette said...

thanks, PG! that “enigmatic session 6” series is great! i love the button-down with pj pants combo—climbing a lamp post no less! something about a tall guy in pj pants is just so sexy to me… those long legs in flannel… haha i’m weird!

Katie of Sweden said...

thanks cina for excellent info ;)

Katie of Sweden said...

Hey, Scandinavians, do YOU too want the Jakey movie HIGHWAY with Scandinavian subtitles to be available on 'buy DVD'? See
here
...

cina said...

There's no date, but he's obviously a bit younger in these pics...he also crawls up a lampost in his PJ bottoms in a few of them. Basically, this session was photographic gold.

Despite those horrid pants in some of the pics, that has got to be one of my favorite photoshoots with him. And I particularly love just those pictures with the lamppost! *squeeeeee!!*

@Katie: You're welcome! :-)

phoebe said...

Damn that poll...I have to choose between Johhny and Jake!! That's just cruel!!

I know, jla!!! Two words: Jack Sparrow... *whimper*

Jake did get my vote eventually though. He's The Sex, after all. ;-D

Anonymous said...

Saw the pap pics. If she was with Gael and bodyguard, how come she went after the paps and they didn't? Not very chivalrous.

It's 2006 baby, men and women...doesn't matter, someone's pissing you off you don't need to send your boyfriend or even your bodyguard after them. I think most women nowadays can handle it themselves.

dottieb said...

Where do I find the Session 6 photos? I went to the IHG gallery, but they don't seem to be indexed by session.

Anonymous said...

Your website has a useful information for beginners like me.
»

Anonymous said...

Interesting site. Useful information. Bookmarked.
»

Anonymous said...

Excellent, love it!
Ambien and breast feeding is it safe Hummer h1 carpet Royale beach and tennis club Michigan baccarat crystal business insurance and houston Autowatch car alarms Ambien adventures ambien buy uk What are the causes of allergys Discount order discount oxycontin Sex offenders in grass lake mishigan new york times ambien driver article European ambien Discount xanax Circuit breaker mil 10a Allegra renaisance Epson printer repair Home+based+business+merchant+account Longevity of bextra seo uk 20

Anonymous said...

This is very interesting site... »

Anonymous said...

Very nice site! »