britpopbaby was raised in the working class, nineteenth century city of Manchester. As a youngster she laboured in the cotton mills of Ancoats, scrambling under the powerful machinery to retrieve misplaced shuttles and fingertips.
As a sufferer of the ailment ‘Limp Lungs’, brought on by the dusty atmosphere of the mill and cat fleas, life was hard for britpopbaby and became even harder when her beloved pit pony, Minge, died of canker.
It was after a viewing of the modern masterpiece (pretty to look at but confusing) Donnie Darko that britpopbaby’s life began to turn around. She won a grant to study The Rolling Stones at the prestigious University of Wales where she met Anneka and this one time, Al Murray.
britpopbaby is now looking forward to a forward looking future involving restraining orders, pirating dodgy official Jake Watch merchandise out of the caves of Penzance, and a stint in Big Brother 8.
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prophecygirl was born in 1982, the thirteenth daughter of Elvis, an ex-serviceman and moderately successfully swinger. After a idyllic yet fairly uneventful childhood growing up in the Mountains of Memphis where any contact with Justin “Trousersnake” Timberlake was thankfully avoided, PG uprooted herself and moved to LA with dreams of becoming a photocopier machine technician.
It was whilst in LA she met the self-pitying yet comical Xander Harris and fell into a dubious gang of teen drug addicts and was finally satisfied with life. But then Xander asked her out and she felt bad because she didn’t feel that way about him. Things got worse when PG overheard Giles and Angel discussing a prophecy saying that The Master’s ascension was at hand and that she would die trying to stop him. She shouted out, telling Giles that she quit.
But the vampires were growing stronger and after an attack at the school she decided it was time to face the Master. She was led to him by the Anointed One and was quickly overcome, the Master drained her blood and left her face down in water. Bastard. Xander found Angel, told him that PG went to face the Master, and the pair set off to help, arriving to find her apparently dead.
Xander performed CPR and PG woke feeling stronger than ever. Meanwhile, the others fought off vampires and a huge monster that had come from the Hellmouth. PG went to face the Master again and this time won, throwing him through a glass roof onto a wooden shard below. At this, the monster disappeared back into the Hellmouth and the gang retired to the Bronze to snort some more crack.
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anneka was born in 1999 on the eventful eve that saw Winnie The Pooh get lodged in Rabbit's hole. She slept in the family piano stool (for they had no piano) until she was eleven as her older sisters Rag, Tag and Bobtail did not care for her very much. To this day they still don't care for her much.
Whilst on a school trip to Wales’ Largest Ball of String in Brynaber, anneka's unruly hair attracted the attention of Guy of Gisborne who would become her not-so-very-devoted husband after she found that copy of his bank balance. They had a Snoopy themed wedding in Waikiki but the extreme heat inside the Peppermint Patty papier-mâché head made Anneka pass-out. She woke up three days later to find her brow being caressed by the third most beautiful woman she had ever seen: a nun called Sister Mary-britpopbaby. They were to remain pen pals for many years, through Rocky I-V and beyond, save for that little spat over Milli Vanilli.
After recovering and taking out some time to invent tuna, Anneka left her husband donned her travelling cloak and set off for China to fulfil her life-long dream: to discover how string beans are made. However, she took a left instead of a right at The Great Wall and ended up in a sweat-shop making wallets for two dollars a day. When she had saved up 500 dollahs! she travelled on to Cambodia and helped raise orphaned marmosets with Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. She returned home some years later to discover only one piece of mail from britpopbaby offering her a scholarship to the University of Wales to major in 'Allo 'Allo, minoring in French Economics.
Whilst in the midsts of higher education, britpopbaby and anneka cemented their bond with a midnight ceremony involving cricket bats and a sheep's heart. It was on that blood-soaked Pagan burial site that britpop told anneka of her message from the Gods (Thor and Angus Of The Brugh) fortelling that they must devote their lives to the protection, prosperation and perspiration of The Sex. Cool beans, thought anneka. It’s not like she had much of a life anyway.
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