Aaah, we meet again, Seagull of Malevolence. I could assume that this is an act of revenge designed to make me glowing nuclear green with envy...but no, I'm not that self involved. I realise the world doesn't revolve around me. It obviously revolves around Jake Gyllenhaal. I can see this is merely a case of BLATANT STALKING.
I can accept that this is in no way a retaliation to that time you flew into the back of my head on Aberdovey beach. Remember that? I am also going to make no connection between this and that time you sent one of your blackbird minions into my bedroom to scare the living fuck out of me which resulted in a trip to the A&E.
Nah. I'm cool. Just know that I hate you Seagull of Malevolence and I will seek my vengeance. Especially after this stunt.