Monday, October 29, 2007

Jake Takes the Loss of Jake Watch Hard

Tragically, though not unexpectedly, Jake Gyllenhaal has spent the past several days on a path of self-destruction, reeling from the news that Jake Watch will soon stop updating.

Let's take a look at the timeline.

Friday*: Jake is seen publicly for the first time since the announcement. Clearly still in shock, he walks around wearing half of an all-black mourning ensemble.
Saturday: Distracted by his grief, Jake commits the costume tragedy captured in the previous post. No doubt his mask is to hide his tears.
Sunday: Having not changed pants in three days, Jake drowns his sorrows in an all-night bender with Danny Bonaduce.
Monday: As Jake takes a day to mourn privately, the following is reported by Variety, "...'Nailed,' directed by David O. Russell and starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Jessica Biel..."

"Nailed." With Jessica Biel. What stage of grief is that?

Aw, poor Jake. We always forget what an emotional effect we have on him. I can't leave you seeing him like this. So I'll leave you seeing him like this:


And we'll see what tomorrow brings. Never a dull moment...

Thanks to heddaparsons for the Biel bit.
* Note that the dates are roughly as accurate as my description of the pictures and my identification of Danny Bonaduce.

26 comments:

BirdGirl said...

Wow, when he likes an outfit he really likes an outfit.

He is clearly just as sad as we are about your departure.

S4M985 said...

i still cant get over the haloween costume, i mean its gotta be one of the worst ive ever seen... and Reeses isnt that much better either!

Im glad to see that its upset him as much as its upset us! So it should...

S4M985 said...

And ah.. how uncomfortable does he look in that video, he got ants in his pants or something? haha

BirdGirl said...

They had to have thrown them together at the last min. Esp Jake. How funny. :)

Prophecy Girl said...

And ah.. how uncomfortable does he look in that video, he got ants in his pants or something? haha

I know! He was so jittery. He's seriously gotten more poised with age, but I thought he was really endearing in a less polished state. :) Also, the costume thing remains inexcusable for someone who has a history of giving interviews about the awesomeness of past Halloween costumes. *shakes head*

coffeecat said...

*sigh* Oh Jake you were so young & cute & energetic. Little did you know that you would grow up to make so many poor decisions, like attending a costume party as a __?

coffeecat said...

That's not Danny Bonaduce, it's Robert Downey Jr wearing a blond wig.

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ Oh, I'm well aware. ;) That's why I put that note down at the bottom about my inaccuracies...

Stephanie said...

I think that was my favorite Jake period, he was so innocent-looking and adorable back then. ;)

Xenia said...

What about Robert Downey Jr's outfit? it's even worse than Jake's! ;D

And Young&Cute&Innocent!Jake is a dream, not that I'm complaining about the actual Jake...;)

S4M985 said...

maybe it was a dress really shit halloween party?! Just throwin it out there... :p

Anonymous said...

Gawd, thank you for that clip! I never saw that one before. So innocent, sweet, funny. Jake at 21! *sigh*

phoebe said...

Oooh, I love that clip! He's adorable and sooo cute!!

But yeah, what the heck was that costume about?! He was clearly in a state of grief, nothing else explains it.

suzyQ said...

yeah, that mask indicates grief, alright. also, he hasnt changed his t-shirt for a few days, so I think it's grief plus depression.

Anonymous said...

Bwa-ha-ha, that was really funny about Danny Bonaduce. Someone must have told RDJ that blondes have more fun.

heddaparsons said...

Holy crap, a real quick glance and he does sorta look like Danny Partridge, LOL!!

I'm not feeling the blonde hair on Robert at all. Jake has joined countless others in mourning over the news that JW will stop posting. Sigh.

Anonymous said...

I've never seen that clip before!!

What an adorkable, squirmy cocky little bastard. I just want to take him home and do delicious things to him. Lucky he's 21 and legal...

BirdGirl said...

"maybe it was a dress really shit halloween party?! Just throwin it out there..."

Maybe so.

You can tell that J & R are in a sort of new relationship cause I wouldn't let my man go to a Halloween party in such a shit costume. Okay so maybe I would let Jake go however he wanted. Don't tell my boyfriend though. :)

nice anonymous said...

Oh, dear. The way Jake kept rubbing the inside of his upper leg all through that interview ... I'm thinking: Here. Wait a moment. Let **me** do that for you.

Didn't someone once call that Jake's "French lesbian" haircut?

How I'll miss Jake Watch. It was the only Jake-related site on the Web where I really felt at home at all times. (Except for not knowing what a tamagotchi was.)

Cherita said...

Jake drowns his sorrows in an all-night bender with Danny Bonaduce

Once again I almost spit food all over my monitor. :D I'm glad I wasn't the only one baffled by RDJ's new coiffure. What the hell kind of role is that for? On the bright side, it makes Jake's beard seem absolutely trifling in comparison. (Well, I always thought it was, but that's just me.)

And mypantsaretootight!Jake on The Daily Show? Priceless. Like niceanon said, if he'd touched himself any more, they probably wouldn't have been allowed to air the show. Damn. That was quite the yummy treat.

coffeecat said...

It's RD jr? Really? I was being sarcastic - I thought. I must be more perceptive than even I realized.

Oh Jake, Jake, those pants are so tight they make you squirm. What do you have in there? Ants, or ...?

hAhAHAHA said...

Hello dear friends! My what a lovely costume my dear friend Heath's dear friend Jakey Poo is wearing! Tell me, where on EARTH did get that mask, its simple divine! No doubt hiding his face so that he may mask his mourning of your departure.

I was just in the neighborhood and thought I would drop by to wish you all a Happy All Hallow's Eve.

Trick or Treat ladies!!

-J

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ Oooh, thank you! I feel privileged that we had such a Halloween guest! :D

Anonymous said...

Oh my god, I can't believe you resecurected this video from moonlight mile, I haven'seen this before. It's great. thanks

bobbyanna said...

Awwww. I loved the Jon Stewart video. Jake is so comfortable. And so accessible. And so cuddly. And just...just..very, very....young. Dammit! (slaps self in face viciously two times.Think Annette Benning in American Beauty.)

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