Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Jake Gyllenhaal on Conan O'Brien (bitches!)

After perusing the Google searches that led people to Jake Watch over the past 24 hours, I decided to make the title of this post as Google-accessible as possible for the searchers of the next 24 hours. The "bitches" part was added for a little Jake Watch flavor, lest some unsuspecting soul overlook Jake Monroe in the header and think we have journalistic credibility (God forbid).

And the picture of Jake has nothing to do with anything (it's from yesterday) although, to me, he totally looks like investment banker but the time crunch (less than three hours to go!) made it impossible for me to Photoshop him onto a pile of money and/or give him some large bling, perhaps in the shape of a dollar sign, in time for this post. I mean, I could easily do it in three hours, but then this post would be delayed and you'd be forced to go someplace else for your pre-Conan chatter. Someplace that didn't greet you with the word "bitches."

Obviously, the excitement (i.e. lack of sleep) from yesterday's Letterman appearance has dulled my cognitive abilities, which is why I'm writing random paragraphs about investment banking in a post devoted to Conan O'Brien. I shudder to think what that will mean for tomorrow's Daily Show live-blog; it might just be crazy enough to resemble something that came out of Jake's mouth. Ha! Just kidding. Sort of. OK, seriously, I should try to take a nap or something. Someone wake me up when it's 11:35.

Hours later...

Fun factoid: One year ago yesterday, I toured NBC Studios and stood inside Conan's studio. One year ago today, I was in the audience of "The Daily Show." It's like Jake just lives his life 364 days behind me.

OK, and can I point out that Stephen Colbert was on "The Daily Show" tonight considering a Presidential run. Goddammit, Stewart, if you can do it for Colbert, you can do it for Jake! Ignoring Jake in '08 at this point is basically criminal. Especially since Meryl was on tonight promoting Rendition and she's already explained the movie (so Jake doesn't have to!). With the movie out of the way, the campaign is just the obvious conversation topic. Speaking of which...

Back on topic.

11:08 - Conan promo. I can't even accurately describe Jake's behavior except to say, "Oh my God!" (That will make sense later.)

11:35 - I have the time wrong again? Why the hell do these shows start at such weird times?!

11:37 - Now we're in business.

11:37 - Ghostland Observatory gets more high-pitched squeals than Jake. I have no idea who this band is, but I'm sure they don't deserve more squealing than Jake.

11:41 - Conan describes Jake as "a big star." I'd say that's a step up from the standard "fine, young actor" he's gotten on every other show this week.

11:54 - Jake's pre-commercial introduction is made by the building's fire safety director. That's gotta be a first.

11:58 - It's Jake! Tie-less.

11:58 - Beard talk. Which gets almost as much squealing as Ghostland Observatory. Facial hair is exciting, apparently.

11:59 - Conan sniffs Jake's beard, fulfilling the fantasy of every reader of this blog.

11:59 - Jake's a Red Sox fan and discusses a game he went to recently (with fans more fan-like than he is). "Green Monster?" I know nothing of baseball. And am showing it now.

12:01 - Oh, and we get the clip from the commercial! It was over a baseball.

12:02 - The baseball story has morphed into the phantom baseball story.

12:03 - "I like Japan 'cause everybody thinks I'm funny there." Jake follows this statement with an imitation of a Japanese laugh which is only slightly more realistic than his imitation of a drunk British woman.

12:03 - Jake didn't work for six months, an experience he likens to "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. He then sings "Crazy" with Conan. And it's crazy.

12:05 - Rendition talk.

12:06 - "My first torture" scene.

12:07 - Jake says (again) he did the movie for that line.

And it's over! So fast! I can't fault Conan for not mentioning the campaign/album because he had no e-mail address for us to write him. Although I can't believe he didn't wear the "I'm stalking Jake!" button we mailed him last March. Seriously. We get no love.



Pic and vid stolen from IHJ.

55 comments:

BirdGirl said...

PG you should take a nap. You deserve it for all of the hard work you girls have been putting in for the last few days.

You will need to be refreshed for all of the inevitable silliness that come with the Conan O'Brien show. I am sure it will be a good one.

Prophecy Girl said...

You are way too nice. We really haven't been working that hard. :D I'm mainly tired because I've been training for a half-marathon. OK, I'll be mostly walking, but there is still serious training involved. It's alright, though, because I figure my level of exhaustion is probably roughly equal to Jake's at this point. ;)

Cherita said...

I think he's too furry to be an investment banker.

Good job training for the half-marathon! I hope you do more running than you predict and feel overwhelmed with a sense of accomplishment at the finish. I'm guessing I would if it were me. ;)

The post so far is brilliant, actually. Totally tangential and wacky and completely appropriate for the way things are going this week. Jake's all over the place; why shouldn't you be?

I've already taken one nap today. I don't think I'd wake up in time if I tried to take another. Conan better keep Jake on for more than five minutes tonight--Dave's interview was entirely too brief!

Prophecy Girl said...

Is anyone watching The Colbert Report?!? He totally just announced his run for the Presidency and was showing Stewart/Colbert '08 bumper stickers! WHY couldn't Jake go on his show?!?? We'd so get airtime there. :(

BirdGirl said...

Yeah, I am watching it. He is such a nut. Your right I think that we would get some air time if he went on that show.

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ He is awesome (if not crazy)! Colbert is so wonderfully fan-oriented. Sigh.

And Cherita, obviously I am not napping, so I'm glad you like the way it's going so far because seriously, it's only going to get worse. :D But yeah, let's hope all this sleep-deprivation is for a good cause (i.e. longer interview)! ;)

BirdGirl said...

Amen sister! I always love Conan’s interviews. He isn't so predictable. You can tell people actually have fun on his show.

BTW, it is awesome that you are training for a half marathon. Good luck.

Prophecy Girl said...

Thanks! Although I was an idiot and waited until the last possible minute to get my ass in gear so I'll be lucky if I survive until the race. :D

OK, so Meryl was on The Daily Show and now Reese is on Leno...MAN these Rendition people are everywhere tonight! They just showed Jake in a Conan promo and holy shit. Of all nights for me to be off my game...

Cherita said...

What the bloody fuck??! ROFLMAO!!!

"The excitable Jake Gyllenhaal"

Goddamn, I so wish I didn't have to go to work in the morning. This will be good.

Cherita said...

Am I the only one wondering if the fire safety director's cue card was written phonetically? He just doesn't look like a fan to me.

Cherita said...

I wonder if Chris is calling Stephen right now to plot Jake's murder.

AgentLola said...

LOL Cherita!

BirdGirl said...

Poor Chris. How could anyone get that excited about the Red Sox?

BirdGirl said...

WHHYYYY! Another short interview. I feel so unsatisfied. Jake you usually satisfy me. I guess you are just too busy this week.

God damn it. Ellen better be a long one. Does it really have cooking? Wow, now that's something to look forward to.

BirdGirl said...

I must admit that Conan smelling Jakes beard was pretty freaking cool. I think that is the first time I ever wished I was a tall dorky red head.

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ As a tall dorky red head, that made me laugh out loud. ;D Alright I'm going to bed but yeah, short again! We'll see what tomorrow brings. :)

cina said...

^^ *snort* I have to admit that made me laugh too! ;D

NY AGENT said...

Another short interview! but it was funny, poor Chris! Good job PG!

heddaparsons said...

I have a feeling Jake and Chris wil be crying in their bers by the end of the week, the Red sox are one game away rom being eliminated from the World series!

I think that this is his best interview yet so far and it looks like he is wearing his outfit from Kelly and Regis.

Great work blogging PG, you must be exhausted!

felicia said...

If Jake was referring to the Red Sox/Yankees game he attended toward the end of the season - he wasn't with Chris. It was some other friend.

I DVR'd it. Because I'm a dork. And a Red Sox/Jake fan.

Anonymous said...

Smelling Jake's beard, LOL!!!

I recall that Jake was with some other friend at that Red Sox/Yankee game sitting next to him but I swore I read on another blog that they saw Chris there but he wasn't in the same row. Anyway, Jake, Chris and all of their friends that are Sox fans have to be a bit nervous!

nice anonymous said...

You know, I am a sad creature, because I always watch for the moment when Jake unbuttons his jacket before sitting down, and then rebuttons his jacket before standing up again.

"Look, he's doing that one-handed (un)buttoning thing with his blazer again!"

I imagine someone training him to do this & pointing out afterward if he doesn't do it: "Jake, your jacket RODE UP because you FORGOT THE BUTTON. Next time, Jake, REMEMBER THE BUTTON!"

Anonymous said...

I think it might be safe to assume Jake has more than one friend. There were pics of Chris at the tennis matches in Queens with Jake. U.S.Open finals I think. It was right around that same time. No pics of any Chris at Bosox game.

BirdGirl said...

Sorry PG. I hope I didn't offend. I don't think that you are dorky. :)

coffeecat said...

THANK YOU for posting the clip AND for the concise minute-by-minute review of the show.

Stephanie said...

I went to an early showing of Rendition last night. Woo free Jake. Honestly though, it was a pretty decent flick, it seemed slow at times, but for the most part it was a solid film. Plus, there was shirtless Jake, what more can I ask for? ;)

Cherita said...

Don't mean to offend anyone by suggesting that it had to be Chris he was referring to. However, I got the distinct impression that the game in question is the same one where Al Roker threw out an opening pitch, which must have just occurred as they were talking about it on Today. Jake's comment that Roker should never do that again at a Red Sox game sort of led me to make that connection. It is entirely possible that Jake attends the occasional sporting event without getting snapped, you know. But as I don't know anything about the baseball schedule, someone else will have to tell us what the timeframe was. And yes, it could have been anyone. But for some reason, it sounded very much like Chris to me. :)

Prophecy Girl said...

My pleasure, coffeecat! And birdgirl, I was definitely not offended! It's still funny this morning. ;D

felicia said...

However, I got the distinct impression that the game in question is the same one where Al Roker threw out an opening pitch, which must have just occurred as they were talking about it on Today.

Different game, Cherita.

The Al Roker game was in Cleveland.

The Green Monster seats are in Boston.

:-)

Shondra said...

Thank God that 99% of Jake's friends are off the radar, feel bad about Chris but that's what happens when your best friend is an actor.

He said in the interview "one of his friends" so it was a group and he singled out one.

He mentioned Cleveland so I assume that this happened while they were watching it on TV, not in person so it could have been his friend Joe Schmo from Brooklyn he was talking about.

Again, a good thing most of his friends are unknown to his fandom, it's bad enough with what's out there already, no wonder he is so guarded.

PS: Great blogging PG, can't wait for the Daily show!

Cherita said...

Different game, Cherita.

The Al Roker game was in Cleveland.


Well, that settles it! Thanks. Told you I had no knowledge of baseball or its schedules. :)

Again, a good thing most of his friends are unknown to his fandom, it's bad enough with what's out there already, no wonder he is so guarded.

I couldn't agree more, Shondra. Glad I'm not the only one who feels this.

Anonymous said...

though joe schmo from brooklyn is prolly not a red sox fan-- i'm thinking it would make mores sense if it was one of his other vineyard buddies from growing up. sigh, i am a dork for analyzing this...

Anonymous said...

I'm thinking it's Chris because of the way Jake describes his friend as usually "tough and quiet." That's the impression I get when we see pix of them together. If Chris grew up in MA he'd naturally be an avid Red Sox fan :-)

Prophecy Girl said...

Sorry guys, but can I ask that we end this line of discussion? I'm a little uncomfortable with people debating the identities of Jake's non-famous friends. He didn't say who it was so let's just respect their privacy and focus on other things...like why more people aren't talking about the beard-sniffing.

Shaken, not stirred said...

Yes, beard sniffing. I wonder what it smelled like?? Only Conan knows!

BirdGirl said...

I've been thinking the same thing about the beard sniffing all day. I bet he smelled fan-freaking-tastic.

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