Monday, June 25, 2007

Sneaker Watch: Officially Vetoed

I know, over the years, the idea of a 'Sneaker Watch' has been banded about the place like the serve of a Russian ping-pong champion. I have never spoken publically about this before as I did note, at the time, the popularity of the notion. But now, I must proverbially lay my proverbial cards on the proverbial table.

I, for one, felt that 'Sneaker Watch' could never become a reality because a) it would be determential to the sanctity of Sock Watch and b) Jake wears straight up FUGLY sneakers.

My belief was further compounded when I chanced upon the following picture:
Jake, your Kevin Federline-esque pal has well and truly out-sneakered you. I simpy cannot devote any more of my time to your sneakers when your friend is standing right there, rocking the rainbow soles. I'm sorry, but no.

P.S - Hey, what happened to that guy, anyway? You're so careless with things like friends...and dogs.

27 comments:

Long live sock watch! said...

Ha, ha! His pal does look like Kevin!!! Jake is strickly into Nikes, boring Nikes. His agent should have Nike draw up an endorsement contract for Jake!

Anonymous said...

woah! jake sure has some fine-ass friends. this one's almost as good looking as chris and austin. almost.

ps: long live sock watch too!

Anonymous said...

Well, I like Jake's sneaks. They are always in good condition, colorful, like all good sneakers should be. ;) He has enough to provide for a full basketball team, lol. But, yes, long live sock watch! Jake has the best socks and ankles in the business. ;p

nice anonymous said...

I figured that, with all of Jake's running & exercise, he probably wore through his Nikes at a pretty good clip. In addition to undoubtedly being sneaker-fixated. I'm sure he's also been designated A Most Favored Sneaker Wearer by Nike or his local retail outlet -- I imagine the salesmen or a Nike representative saving special editions for him. They probably lift off the lid, push aside the tissue paper, and hold up a sneaker for his delectation like it's a piece of fine jewelry, all the while extolling its engineering & aerodynamic properties. I wish some interviewer had the wit to tag along with Jake on a sneaker-buying expedition, since that probably would be something to experience. How many thousand $s worth of merchandise do you think he walks off with? Bet it's one of his favorite indulgences. (And calorie-free, too, unlike fine Italian cooking. ;-)

nice anonymous said...

... Also, sometimes I wonder if Jake discards the sneakers after just one or two wearings. With a lordly wave of his hand: "Oh, that pair. Yes, my feet have already sweat inside of those on a previous occasion. I'm done with them. They're so over." (Who do you think gets all those castoffs?)

ncwoman said...

Britpopbaby said:
"Jake wears straight up FUGLY sneakers."

ROFLMAO!!!

And anon 7:32, I'm with you! That's one fine lookin' friend Jake's got there with him....

Anonymous said...

How recent is this picture of Jake

Anonymous said...

"Jake wears straight up FUGLY sneakers."

I totally agree!

Carla said...

You got me for a second - I really thought it was K-Fed....

Nothing Really Matters said...

I totally support this action! FUGLY sneakers, make me wanna vomit!

Anonymous said...

Jake wears straight up FUGLY sneakers.

Take that back!

Anonymous said...

I promise. If I ever have the chance to be alone with Jake, I won't be askin' for no sneakers. Go ahead, baby! Wear them damned sneakers. LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

Jake's "friend"..is Vanilla Ice..I swear it is....

cina said...

I promise. If I ever have the chance to be alone with Jake, I won't be askin' for no sneakers. Go ahead, baby! Wear them damned sneakers. LOL!!!

Well I tell'ya one thing. They're not coming to bed with me, that's for damn sure!

heddaparsons said...

I'm glad i'm not the only one who hates those fug Nike sneakers!

S4M985 said...

I like em... *insert embarassed smiley here*

joycedavenport. said...

Is that a Sgt Pepper t-shirt he's wearing?

Oh and according to People Jake and Reese are officially completely and totally over. (insert rolling eyes smiley here)

http://www.people.com/people/
article/0,,20043624,00.html

pink mist said...

Uh-oh! Looks like Sneaker Watch is going to be a controversial topic! I am in the pro-sneaker team. The sneakers are comfortable (some really nice-looking) and match his non-fashion-conscious clothes. His usual everyday outfits seem to say: “There are more interesting things in life than the latest Prada collection”. And I agree. After all, he’s Jake Gyllenhaal and that’s the most interesting brand he will ever “wear”.

P.S. BPB, maybe this guy stole Boo and ran off.

Anonymous said...

if the sneakers are not an impediment to accessing his more interesting parts, I see this as a non-issue.

get real said...

Agree with Pink Mist, count me as pro sneakers. Although nothing replaces sock watch, I like his large kicks collection.

call me cherita said...

The sneakers are comfortable (some really nice-looking) and match his non-fashion-conscious clothes. His usual everyday outfits seem to say: “There are more interesting things in life than the latest Prada collection”. And I agree. After all, he’s Jake Gyllenhaal and that’s the most interesting brand he will ever “wear”.

pink mist, you took the words right outta my mouth. Jake's fugly sneakers are the same ones I see in the stores and think, did a blind person design this? I love that he wears whatever he damn well pleases, like the reappearance of the same favorite shirts and hats over and over, just as I love the crazy hair and the refusal to shave for a week.

Why do people like pictures of you doing mundane things? Because it makes you one of us, Jake. We need that reminder because you're just so damn wonderful you seem too good to be true.

nice anonymous said...

The black-topped post serving as a car barrier seems to be accessing Jake's more interesting parts in this picture. (Or maybe I'm inclined to see phallic symbols everywhere when viewing Jake -- a distinct possibility.)

Anonymous said...

OT: I don't know if this blogger is joking or not, but he claoms that Jake, Matt, Lance along with G. Clooney and M. Wahlberg were all in N. Idaho this weekend shopping for some summer homes/condos, very expensive real estate:

http://www.pkmeco.com/familyblog/2007/06/homes-sweet-homes.html

Anonymous said...

It sounds like they were in Idaho!

http://www.spokesman-review.com/blogs/hbo/archive.asp?postID=15678

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