Thursday, January 11, 2007

STING OF OSCAR LOSS LESSENED AS JAKE WINS YET ANOTHER AWARD FOR BEING DOABLE

Aw, Jake. You're just so damned cute! I'm sure the Oscars and Golden Globes will start piling up soon, but in the meantime, you can be happy that you seem to be universally attractive to all members of the human race. And can you blame us? Handily winning a poll that for once I don't think was influenced by quick-fingered Jake Watch Agents, Jake blew away the competition in Gay.com's Best of 2006. He easily defeated fellow track junky Ryan Phillipe and my homedog Justin "I can't believe he's in the same category as Jake Gyllenhaal" Timberlake for "Male Celeb You Most Wish Was Gay." Inexplicably, Jake wasn't nominated in the "Hottest Male Body" category (Daniel Craig) or "Person of the Year" (Stephen Colbert...I love Stephen as much as the next left-wing nutjob, but I don't think he's yet given us a gift to humanity that can compete with the Santa Dance..although who didn't love the Green Screen Challenge?). George W. ran off with "Person You Most Wish Would Go Away" so using britpopbaby logic, I think we can safely say that Dubya did not vote for Jake in this poll and therefore Republicans are the only group of people that are immune to the Gyllenhaal charm.

Regarding Jake (Jack):

"We blame Ang Lee -- if the "Brokeback Mountain" director hadn't cast the lean, dreamily dark-eyed Jake as hopeless romantic Jack Twist, and then put him in that sexy shearling coat, and then made him say the line, "We could have had a good life" with such heartbreaking sincerity, we might not have fallen in love with him. Now, it's too late. Who among us hasn't wished we were snuggled up with him in a tent on a snowy mountaintop? We could have a good life, still, Jake, if only you would have us." gay.com

Say it with me, now, "Awwwwww!"

Summary of results here, pic from some random place on the internet.

49 comments:

Newport Girl said...

I'll be waiting in the tent.

Newport Girl said...

Or at the Siesta Motel. You choose.

cina said...

I'm waiting right here where I am. Come on over Jake!

And yes - AWWWW!

nice anonymous said...

I agree with all written in that excerpt about Jake's appeal in "Brokeback Mountain" -- except for "dark-eyed." As we all know, his eyes are light-colored, not dark. Their blue is stunning in some photographs, when the flashbulbs or the sunlight catches the irises just right. Like two translucent pieces of blue quartz or some other mineral that refracts light.

Anonymous said...

At the newsstand for your viewing pleasure --> OK! Weekly dated January 15th (cover Angie J. "Tormented") --

Last page is a full page HOT picture of Jake!

Way to go OK! -- give us more of these!

dan wayne said...

Darn, it's too late alright..

Check out also the new thread in forum GyllenLounge: Why we fall in love with Jake.

Agent H said...

There are to many reasons and to many different times when we fell in love with Jake..it really isn't Ang's fault...it's Stephen and Naomi's for creating such a glorious specimen...but I'm not angry with them, nope I think the Gyllenhaal's should be declared Royalty in honor of their amazingly perfect genes!

smurfette said...

haha, great headline, PG.

and nice catch with the dark eye comment, nice anon! the rest of the quote was so sweet i didn't even notice they mis-described one of jake's best traits!

ncwoman said...

Dang, niceanon! Ya stole my thunder, as I also was going to point out that glaringly erroneous "dark-eyed" thing...nice description of his eyes, BTW..."Like two translucent pieces of blue quartz or some other mineral that refracts light."

Brilliant commentary and headline as usual, PG.

veeveevee said...

I was going to jump on that dark-eyed thing, too! How could they not notice the hypnotic color of his eyes?

Apparently the powers-that-be in charge of the poll haven't spent the millions of hours that we agents have unwaveringly scrutinizing all aspects of The Sex...

Agnes said...

Awwwwwwwww!!

AlinaGyllenhaal said...

AWWWWWHH, Britpop, you're so damn right! And ladies, we are brand new lirical poets of Jake's beauty, why don't we write somethig powerful and highly artistic. E.g. "the ballad of Jake's Polly" or "The Story Of Splendour nipples"... Huh?

Nothing Really Matters said...

AWWWW!

Carla said...

"Like two translucent pieces of blue quartz or some other mineral that refracts light."

Wow, that´s pure poetry!!

In other news: The idiots over at NBC have now managed to spell Jakes name right! Yeah, go NBC!

cina said...

^^ Well that's about god damn time!

veeveevee said...

...WINS YET ANOTHER AWARD FOR BEING DOABLE...

If there actually were a top award for the most doable, he would win it, hands down!

(What the heck does "hands down" in that sense mean, anyway???)

Good for you NBC idiots! I'm on the look out for the first commercial tonight, they usually show up about two days ahead of time. Counting down...2 days, 8 hours, and 20 minutes...

Anonymous said...

He had me when he stepped out of the truck!

roco

kokodee said...

He had me when he stepped out of the truck!
...leaning and flexing like a cat on a hot tin roof!

Sorry, what were y'all saying again???
Oh yeah... nice quote, and er..poll.

The Bearded Lady said...

He had me when he stepped in poo.

smurfette said...

^^ what? he killed boo? oh! poo... heh.

hey, i just found the cutest pics of maggie and le sexx-- can i say i love her dress, and for once, her hair's seems ok too! (maggie's one of my faves, but for some reason, unlike her follicle-y gifted brother, her hair is never right!)

http://celebrity-moms.blogspot.com/2007/01/maggie-gyllenhaal-and-peter-sarsgaard.html

Kendra said...

^^ Omg, Surfette, Maggie's hair in that pic is really awful, she seems having stepped out of the shower and not having dryed or given shape to it at all!

smurfette said...

hehe, you're right, the hair isn't the best... but maybe i was just glad guess it's pulled back and not poufy? ok, i'll stop, cuz i don't want to be mean. actually, i think i saw another pic somewhere of the same event, and it looked better from the front.

S4M985 said...

Awww.
But i think jake was hot way before BBM. But is also great that its gained him alot more fans

Im growing more and more depressed that i wont get to see SNL on tv. It sucks sometimes living in the middle of nowhere away from everything exciting. Soon ill start seeing munchkins, walking scarecrows, tinmen and horses that change colour.

Anonymous said...

So, this is what you do at work after I leave

anonymous blonde said...

not to belabor the subject of Jake's eye color but.....
some of his photos immediately remind me of that lovely phrase from "My Best Friend's Girl" (The Cars)...... "suede blue eyes".

nice anonymous said...

As to the headline, sorry, Brits, but the sting of the Oscar loss last year hasn't lessened, for me at least.

I'm still disgusted. It remains inexplicable.

get real said...

Squee!!!!!!! Just saw the preview of SNL with Jake looking sexy as ever in a black t-shirt and great hair. *swoon* He said, "Hi I'm Jake Gyllenhaal and I'm hosting SNL with the Shins. He was with one of the male actors (playing gay) who said, I love your work Jake Gyllenhaal. Jake says, Oh you know me, and the guy says, Know you, I was you for Halloween. It was cute.

veeveevee said...

^^Get real, you're so lucky!!

I've been watching NBC all night long just for Jake and I haven't seen that promo yet. The only one I keep seeing has a voiceover saying his name while showing a two-second clip (no sound) from when he was on the tonight show! That's so wrong. In my book, they could just show live promos of Jake all night long and I wouldn't move!

Girl Friday said...

Saw the promo with Keenan Thompson as a drag queen and Jake. I don't know what to tell you, I caught it during the TV show, "30 Rock." Try again at the same time tomorrow night.

veeveevee said...

aiieeeeeeeeeee!

Ask and you shall receive...I just saw my first Jakeified promo for SNL!

The same one you saw, get real, just him and that Kenan guy. Did you catch The Tongue right after he introduces himself? And the look on his face at the end, like he can't decide if he's going to laugh or if that was the stupidest thing he's ever seen.

Best 10 seconds of my day!

veeveevee said...

And now for the best 10 second of your day!

I got out my trusty camera with the video mode, recorded the promo, and uploaded it to YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnWMCv73KbI

I don't know how legal it is, so it may not stay up long, but enjoy! :-)

Anonymous said...

not exactly true... I am a Republican and I have fallen to the Jake charms.

LOL... just thought I'd let you know that not even Republicans are safe.

cina said...

Thank you soooo much veeveevee!! I'll have a look as soon as Youtube isn't DOWN FOR MAINTENANCE anymore!! Just my luck... >:(

kaydee said...

AWWWWWWW!

and i love you veeveevee. jake had a cute, geeky smile at the end :)

Agent Krycek said...

Thanks for the youtube link - he looked adorable as always, hopefully (begging here) a lot of SNL will make it onto you tube for us deprived folk.

BTW, The Dreamers was on tv last night over here, the role Jake turned down because of nudity - well, I only watched about 15 minutes, but after those 15 minutes lets just say I can see why, err, very much a case of letting it all hang out :o

S4M985 said...

OH THANKYOU FOR THE YOUTUBE FOOTAGE! OMG I LOVE YOU!

cina said...

Loved the Youtube clip!! He's so adorable. :) Thank you veeveevee!

I've seen The Dreamers, and all I can say is that I am forever thankful Jake didn't do that film. I didn't like it one bit. And don't get me started on Michael Pitt... not exactly my cup of tea to put it mildly.

atk said...

Thank you for the clip, veeveevee!

He is so adorable, isn´t he? And clean shaven! And that look he has in the end with that grin.... *sigh*

nice anonymous said...

Thanks so much, Veeveevee. Jake looks amazing, doesn't he? I love when he's clean-shaven and I can see the outlines of his handsome face. But he also appears a little tense here, I think. And pale. (But that could be due to his wearing black, and the screen's resolution.) How does he feel about making "live" appearances, I wonder? He's always so charming & charismatic, and he's clearly more comfortable than poor Heath. No wonder Jake's in demand as a presenter.

I do hope Jake gets into a play sometime. Even though I know that won't make him much money, or get his agent much of a commission. I suspect Jake's time is too valuable right now for him to spend months in the cast of a play. But I'd love to see him onstage. Jake, please consider getting into some Roundabout Theatre production, or something like that.

ncwoman said...

Oh, Veeveevee, thank you so much for that YouTube video...you rock girlfriend!!

hedda parsons said...

Thanks for posting that clip, he is adorable. I had a crush on Jake way before BBM, so I can't blame Ang Lee!

Prophecy Girl said...

Nice work, veeveevee! I saw it during The Office but don't have internet at home right now (grrr) and thought I'd have to recall from memory. There's now a (very short) post. :)

veeveevee said...

You're welcome, everyone!

Isn't he cute? I love the appearance of The Tongue, and his goofy "Is this funny or have I made a BIG mistake?" grin at the end is adorable.

He is such a comic genius - I hope they come up with some decent skits that don't have to rely on poking fun at the gay rumors/BBM!

Anonymous said...

If he didn't 'have' me already during Brokeback, I would have succumbed when he took his coat off during that first tent scene. Yowza!

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