Highly scientific experiment conducted at MyHeritage.
Question: Which celebrity does Jake Gyllenhaal most resemble?
Answer: Suprisingly, Jake Gyllenhaal!
Conclusion: Whilst britpopbaby is impressed that MyHeritage thinks Jake looks 97% like himself, she must express concern over the lack of Tobey Maguire resemblance statistics put foward by aforementioned site. As everyone knows, Maguire is Jake's long lost, slightly less attractive, twin brother; seperated at birth by some tragic hospital admin error yet, as if destiny planned it, both carved out a name in Hollywood as 'that one with the big eyes - no, the other one...yeah, him'. Also, a hobbit? WTF?
So what has this taught us about The Gyllenhaal's heritage? Nada except Nicholas Cage is his real father so that makes Lisa-Marie Presley his ex-stepmother which makes Elvis his late ex-stepgrandfather, i.e Jake is related to Elvis. Thank you.
Okay, I'm off for a hard days graft so behave or else I'll tell you all a secret likely to devastate your lives forever. Seriously.
140 comments:
oh i love my heritage! Its soo cool! When i did it a while ago i got Jena Malone, and Anne Hathaway... as im sure ur all well aware BOTH kissed The Sex! *smiles proudly about something she really has no reason to be proud of*
What is with thelast line...
"so behave or else I'll tell you all a secret likely to devastate your lives forever. Seriously. "
I hate secrets!!! Hmmph! **stamps her feet on the ground!**
^^ haha newport girl!
ok, its not really funny. i wouldnt be laughing if he really was dead. I take that back.
^^ It just means shes going to work hard!
LOL! That's really insane, how can it be 97%? Bwahaha.
And seriously - Nicholas Cage? Tim Roth?? Oh they do share his gorgeous features.
Yeah right.
"Oh no, is Boo dead?
Nah, BPB will probably tell us that Jake is actually Elvis and the living proof that Elvis lives.
Nicolas Cage? Outrageous!
and what's the secret? come on, i'm dying here!
Yeah seriously! Nicolas Cage? Freddy Prinze jun.? WTF?
^^ Uhm yeah. Me too.
Sorry, can't think of anything clever to say this morning...still irritable and sleep-clogged...
but LOL!!! you guys are too funny!!
P.S. I love secrets, hate waiting for them :)
Freddie Prinze??? And no Toby!!!
I always knew Jake was related to Elvis. And now we have proof.
He-he, girlies, I llove Cage in Jake and Schwimmer is good just 'cause he has a little bit of Jake, yes indeed. I've realised: Jake adsorbed the best of everyone the hottest...*sigh*
seriously, ppl, i have NO IDEA why you can't see the resemblance> let me explain it to you in easy terms:
every single guy there has:
-two eyes
-a nose
-a mouth
-a chin
-more or less hair on the top of their heads.
really you must be blind not to see it. ;P
As far as I'm concnerned failure to mention Toby Maguire or...Jared Leto, really screws with the credibility of this, this, heritage tree or whatever it is.
haha, those results are funny. though if jake has to resemble a hobbit, shouldn't it be elijah wood? they have similar eyes, at least! and elijah looks like tobey, who looks like jake...
actually u know who i think looks a lot like jake? jonathan togo from csi: miami. it's as close to seeing jake on a regular basis as i can get-- tho he's prolly not famous enough to get on myheritage...
eek! 3 more days til SNL!! i hope jake does a cool andy samberg rap/music short this saturday. not only are they the funniest skits on SNL of late, i reeeaally want to hear him sing.
But ... but ... Jake has a much healthier hairline than most of these guys he's being compared with. And his eyelashes are so long & heavy, they weigh down his eyelids. (Thus the bedroom eyes.) Truly, he is a follically gifted male. Set him out in full sunlight for just five minutes & he starts growing more hair, without even thinking about it, or using any kind of product.
and the mouth. the mouth.
sigh
it curves so nicely. drool
I still contend that Jake was born by IMMACULATE CONCEPTION!
roco
He looks 3% not like Jake Gyllenhaal? What up with that?
Nice anon - follically gifted! I love it! LOL
Smurfette, I too, would like to hear him sing - he said he went through auditions for months for Moulin Rouge, and was one of the finalists, so he must have a damn fine voice! (Is there anything this man cannot do?)
This is hilarious, I did this on Jake yesterday and he looked like someone else more than himself...wtf? must not have been a good picture.
H
Look. There may be random people here and there who bear a VERY slight resemblance to Jake, but there is no one who has the total package. No. One. He is the most gloriously beautiful man every born.
i just deleted a comment about an interview of maggie from envelope.latimes.com cuz i remembered i should post OT discussions in the forum. anyway, it's there if people are interested.
97%? That is one of the best statistics I have ever heard. Kaydee your explanation has to be the right one (the other guys having two eyes, a nose etc).... I completely agree about Tobey Maguire bpb, although lean more towards him being the beta version before the software was perfected (love the 'follically gifted' nice anonymous!)...
Am crossing pretty much everything I own that someone records and posts online the whole SNL episode immediately, if not sooner...I think IHJ promised to...I am sure they will take pity on those of us who are cabley-challenged...but SNL, Golden Globes, Zodiac... hooray for the new year!
97%? That is one of the best statistics I have ever heard. Kaydee your explanation has to be the right one (the other guys having two eyes, a nose etc).... I completely agree about Tobey Maguire bpb, although lean more towards him being the beta version before the software was perfected (love the 'follically gifted' nice anonymous!)...
Am crossing pretty much everything I own that someone records and posts online the whole SNL episode immediately, if not sooner...I think IHJ promised to...I am sure they will take pity on those of us who are cabley-challenged...but SNL, Golden Globes, Zodiac... hooray for the new year!
nicholas frigin' cage???
LOL!
"actually u know who i think looks a lot like jake? jonathan togo from csi: miami. it's as close to seeing jake on a regular basis as i can get-- tho he's prolly not famous enough to get on myheritage..."
Smurfette, you are my hero!
I thought I am the only idiot who is watching CSI-Miami every week because I want to see that guy Jonathan who looks a bit like Jake....
Jared Leto and Jake could play twins in a movie, I swear. I can't believe he failed to pop up.
Britpop, you're going to drive us all crazy with that last comment. It makes it sound like you know something very secret.
Maybe you do.
I do have a secret, but I told you, it's truly devastating.
hahaha, no carla dear, you are MY hero! maybe we should start a club for "idiots who watch csi: miami to see a jake-lookalike!" surely there could be more of us? hee.
aww, BPB, ever the tease =)
Is there anything this man cannot do?
He can't cook worth damn. He's pretty good with a can opener though.
i think i'm ever so slightly obsessed... :)
and BPB, what's the big dark secret!?
BPB..i'd rather be devastated and know..than be left in the dark, unless its with Jake of course.
than be left in the dark, unless its with Jake of course.
why, does he glow in the dark? :P
behave or else I'll tell you all a secret likely to devastate your lives forever.
does it mean that sometimes we don't behave?! i'm outraged. we are so nice, peace-loving, calm and disciplined Agents. :)
so what's the secret?
"Hail to the Boo"
haha kaydee..I don't know if Jake glows in the dark, but it is definitly worth finding out!!
I volunteer my services for that!
The three percent that doesn't look like Jake is due to his acting talent, of course -- his ability to transform himself into another character. Even in photography sessions, he's probably "in character" in some way.
Britpopbaby we need to know about the secret!
Due to government cutbacks JakeWatch Agents are having their budget slashed and will for ever more be forced to do their agentry via public transport?
m
Love it, BPB. I actually refer to Tobey as "Jake Lite." Isn't Tobey only, like, five foot five or something like that? He can look mighty fetching in the right light (at which time I squint just a little and pretend he's Jake), but mostly he doesn't hold a candle to The Gyllenhaal.
yuck....I am so NOT a Cage fan, so the sight of him even on the same page as Jake disturbs me...Cage should consider himself lucky to be mentioned with Jake.
How can anyone not see Jake's resemblance to Billy Boyd?!?
Ha, count me in for the club "idiots who watch csi: miami to see a jake-lookalike!" That Jonathan guy is surely a cutie. No substitute of course, but close enough. :)
Now I´m nosy, I really really want to know this secret.
Add me to the CSI miami list, i love the show and he is very cute. Doesnt come close to jake though
BPB do we ever get to know this secret, or was this just a ploy to see how all your little agents act to a comment like that. Im onto you!
Billy Boyd???? And no mention of Elijah Wood? If they were going to mention a hobbit than it should have been Frodo!!
Okay, while I love Jarhead Jake for Xmas, would love to see a new banner, like one of the ones we voted on. :)
And am wondering what this secret is. Brit, you are being a major tease. ;)
Brits, you tease, give us a hint. Is the secret Jake-related, or Gyllenhaal-family-related?
Is it career-related? About "Rendition" or some other role?
Is it regarding Jake's forthcoming TV appearances?
Is it bigger than a bread box?
Yes, Brits, do tell! You've had your hard days graft, now it's time to spill.
Or agents...perhaps we're not misbehaving enough??? We could fix that...
;-)
Okay, here is the secret. Don't read the following if you're easily offended!
When I entered THIS PIC into MyHeritage.com is came to with a 70% resemblance to, brace yourselves, George W Bush.
Told you it was bad.
Sorry, my grammar above is fucked up. I was just so devastated I couldn't think properly.
OMFG, Brit, I am appeared to be 73 percent of Harrison Ford!!! Though I love him, it's pretty disappointing...
And, girls, what's follically gifted? 'cause Ima justa crude russian girl,haven't it in my dictionary...
omg! that's quite a secret-- so glad i checked here again! if it's any consolation, with jake's sense of humor, maybe he'd get a kick out of resembling the u.s. president, who should more than anything be a serious and grave symbol of american leadership, right when he's making a goofy face?
maybe i'm stretching here...
alina, follically gifted refers to jake's superior hair genes (on his head or elsewhere hehe. get it, like hair follicles?) hope that helps!
In all seriousness, I think myheritage goes by not only general face shape but particularly by patterns of light and dark--I did it once with a pic of myself in my sister's yard and it "saw" a face in the gravel! Yes, it saw my face too, I'm not that weird looking.
What I saw immediately looking at the results is that they all share the same shaped shadow under the eyebrows, in addition to a similar hairline SHAPE (as opposed to a similar hairline. Jakey has a lovely widow's peak, which is something balding guys sometimes like to pretend they have. I've always been so envious of people with widow's peaks!)
Oh, no. Jake looks like a Republican.
And not just like any Republican. He looks like the dumbest one of the bunch.
His family surely will disown him.
veeveevee, could you please post the link to the vid again, I have tried everything, but I cannot get to it on YouTube. and when I search Jake, SNL, Gyllenhaal, I get nothing. What tag words did you use, or what is your YouTube ID? It is making me crazy that I cannot see this, argh!!!!!!
Thanks veeveevee if you can fix this....
HAHAHA. I look like Toby McGuire 55%.
u know who really looks like him? Jonathan Togo from CSI Miami
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