Tuesday, January 23, 2007

INITIAL STATUS REPORT

Hello agents, I am Number 6, the acting commander of Jake Watch.

As most of you will be aware of, there was a serious breach of security here at JW HQ on Friday 19th January. Intruders broke into the compound late in the evening and kidnapped britpopbaby and Prophecy Girl. Lt Dan also remains MIA. Emergency procedures were activated and I was drafted in to take control.

My identity must remain a secret to prevent further danger, to not only The G but also all agents and associates. We are currently tracking the whereabouts of britpopbaby and Prophecy Girl via the JW Transit Van that was used in the getaway. As to the perputrators of this crime, we have at this stage no clues.

Until our leaders are located and safely returned to us I have recruited a top team of bloggers to aid me in the task of keeping Jake Watch fully functional.

Thank you, agents.

Number Six


PS: The new forum is now OPEN. Visit by clicking the link in the menu bar. The old forum can still be accessed by clicking HERE.

49 comments:

Nothing Really Matters said...

Yeah whatever don't you mean Brits is in rehab!

BeABee said...

oh no!:0 they were kidnapped?:0 I hope they are OK:\.

I liked "the G" :P

veeveevee said...

GREMLIN!!

veeveevee said...

Er, and Number Six...sorry for that blaming you for their disappearance thing...

Bye-gones?? ;-)

Anonymous said...

whats with the bitchy comments???

whats gooing on???

have we been infiltrated by aliens?

somebody get mulder (oh yes please)

Anonymous said...

GREMLINS!!!

Anonymous said...

No.6: I just wanna know: Are you a girl doll or a boy doll? How tall are you? Do you have beautiful, blue eyes? Do you need a haircut? Have you recently injured your thumb? Are you seriously to die for handsome? Are you so handsome you give yourself a woodie just looking in a mirror?

Anonymous said...

Are you seriously to die for handsome?

i am :)

and i'm a very good agent too

Anonymous said...

i solved the mistery!!! sorta... :)

some big ass film directors from hollywood kidnapped them, chained them to a computer and told them to write a script to equal JW the movie.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Number 6 knows i'm joking! Right ;-)

Number Six said...

Number Six has noted your comedic remark, NRM and appreciates it in this desperate time. Number Six has also made note of the dissidents and their IP addresses and they will be caught and tortured in connection with the current scandal. We will make them wear fuschia jumpsuits.

veeveevee said...

Woo hoo! You go, Number Six!!

veeveevee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
S4M985 said...

So Number 9 when do we meet all the other bloggers?? I hope you find the SOB's who did this and put a cap in deir ass. You go girlfriend, boyfriend.. w/e!

Anonymous said...

has number 6 also noted all the questions about his identity and desperate please for some news? is number 6 going to answer them?

or are they classified?

Anonymous said...

Number six, I have faith in the bloggers to keep JW afloat while PG & Brit are MIA I just hope they are found ASAP, I'm getting worried!

Anonymous said...

Anon 8:34 here. So. Number 6. You wear spandex much? Do you like to, like...go running? Do you cycle? Got any of those really cool bike helmets??? With flames shooting out? How's your socks? Look. I'm not tryin' to guess your identity, bcz obviously things have taken a serious and sensitive turn around here. Just being neighborly. Tryin' to establish rapport. If you get some down time, and you want to fool around with my karaoke machine, I've got some really cool wigs and long gowns we can mess around with.....

cina said...

Number Six has also made note of the dissidents and their IP addresses and they will be caught and tortured in connection with the current scandal. We will make them wear fuschia jumpsuits.

That's the way you do it.
But don't you think fuchsia jumpsuits will be a tad too flattering for them?

ATD said...

LOOK OUT NUMBER 6!!

There’s a giant bubble behind you!

city girl said...

Hello number six, please continue to keep us posted on every move Jake makes. I live to watch Jake.

city girl said...

I'm sorry I forgot to welcome you. Welcome number six very nice to make your acquaintance.

Steaphanie said...

Fuschia jumpsuits eh?? sounds kinky...

Stephanie said...

Wow...I made a typo in my own name...

veeveevee said...

^^^hee hee hee!

Anonymous said...

klatu barata nekutu... It´s not from your age

Anonymous said...

What? Has a robot replaced BPB?

penny lane said...

I'm not quite sure that I know what you guys are doing but thanks for the link to the old Forum!

Anonymous said...

seriously
what the fuck is going on?
i feel sullied and unsatisfied

Anonymous said...

Agents! While the search for Brit and PG continues I found this bit of info from the L.A. Times:

http://www.latimes.com/business/careers/work/la-me-pogo24jan24,1,2023848.story?coll=la-headlines-business-careers


And it says this:

Today, armed with a world record for highest pogo stick hop — 6 feet — Vurtego sells through such retailers as Costco.comand claims such celebrity customers as Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney, actor Jake Gyllenhaal and cyclist Lance Armstrong.

Did he hurt his finger using as pogo? Was a pogo used in the disappearence of PG & Brit???

Anonymous said...

Defamer is claiming Atticus was dry-humping some strange dog at the dog park Sunday and a very apologetic Jake intervened to separate them. Bet that's where he got his injured thumb! I don't care what they say. I just can't see Jake on a pogo stick. I just can't. I won't.

Anonymous said...

Pogo??? Jake, Lance and Gov. Romney? I didn't know they still made those. Grown men on Pogo sticks, no, no.

nice anonymous said...

Nice to meet you, Number Six. I understand that certain aspects of your identity must remain classified for the sake of national security. The most important things for me to know about you is: 1) Do you possess a good sense of humor? and 2) Do you have an IHeartJake account, like our previous blog hosts, so that you can post any new pictures of Jake that become available?

smurfette said...

i feel sullied and unsatisfied

why sullied? who sullied you? hehe, j/k. hang in there anon, the girls will be back soon. i'm sure their extraction mission is already in the works.

veeveevee said...

Jake. On a pogo stick.

This is serious and calls for a secondary mission (as soon as BP and PG have been rescued, of course!)

Then we need to go rescue Jake. From himself.

A pogo stick, indeed.

Anonymous said...

Are they being held for ransom????
Have we received some "proof of life" like BPB or PG reading the latest edition of GQ or Hello! or The Sun????? What frightens me most is that BPB and PG are an ocean apart so the kidnappings had to be well coordinated! I'm sick with worry! I need my Cuervo Gold!!!!I absolutely draw the line at pogo sticks!!! Jake!!! What were you thinking!

Anonymous said...

This blog has gotten so FUCKING COOL!!!!

Seriously this is the shit now

cina said...

What the hell is a pogo stick???

veeveevee said...

Oh Cina, you really don't want to know. It will tarnish your view of Jake forever.

But if you must, here's a picture:

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml05/05167a.jpg

Your feet go on the little platforms near the bottom, hang on the top with your hands and start jumping. There's some sort of spring-action inside that causes it to bounce high off the ground. That's basically it.

Ugh. I'm going with the thought that the article is a bunch of crap and Jake never bought one. OR that Jake bought one, and immediately gave it away to a 9-year-old nephew.

Gack.

Anonymous said...

OT, but still... The SAG awards take place on January 28th. Since Jake/Heath's presentation last year was so memorable, I was wondering if they, or at least Jake, was invited back to present this year. Don't know why, but I feel pretty confident Jake will at least do the BAFTAS. He did win one after all! That's in London in February,yes?

cina said...

^^ Yes, the BAFTA's held on 11 February, and I really hope Jake shows up because I'll be watching!

And thanks veeveevee - so they're called pogo sticks those funny little things. Hm. Well I can't really see why Jake would buy one of those for himself. But on the other hand, he seems to be crazy enough to do it so why not? LOL

atk said...

Ha, more like he gave it immediately to his 4 month old niece! :)

I will just pretend I never heard of that. Works fine for me.

smurfette said...

hey anon, i think this year's SAG awards will be gyllenhaal-less. i've read some announcements of the presenters, and jake's not among them, so i think we're outta luck, what with maggie getting snubbed here too. i'll still watch it tho, for the other folks. anne hathaway will be presenting the lifetime award to julie andrews, meryl streep will be there, and i'm hoping reese (in case you were wondering about jake's costars).

Anonymous said...

Haven't read anything at all about SAGs or who the presenters will be.
Usually, when an actor has a film coming out, they get more visibility during awards season. But SAG may be the exception. Who knows!

smurfette said...

^^here's a good article on who will be at the SAGs, if you want more info http://iesb.net/index.php?option=com_d4j_ezine&task=
read&page=1&category=2&article=
1677&Itemid=29

also, check out theenvelope.latimes.com

get real said...

In all fairness, the pogo article makes it sound like these are pogo's for adults, not kids. Whatever the case, makes me love Jake and his quirkiness (sp?) even more.

And the Defamer sighting is very cute.

Sunday at the dog park. My dog starts playing with a cute German shepherd that proceeds to hump him, without benefit of formal introduction or dinner. The owner and I intervene to restore civility and suddenly I'm confronted with sapphire blue orbs. Who else but Jake Gyllenhaal. Very sweet, drop dead hot, and very apologetic- although none was necessary. Our dogs just lived out my fantasy, by proxy. I say "WOOF".

perfectscore_goldstar said...

"the dogs just lived out my fantasy by proxy" ... too funny.

Hello and Welcome to #6 ! :)

nice anonymous said...

There's a really good joke to be made here about Jake's pogo stick, but I am trying to stay as far away from it as possible.

veeveevee said...

Like..."I wish I were Jake's pogo stick?"

*sheepish*

Sorry...I couldn't resist, now that you mentioned it! :D

nice anonymous said...

Don't tempt me, VeeX3. But it would ends with a punchline about wanting to bounce up & down on Jake's pogo stick.