Friday, January 26, 2007

CELEBRITIES TO KEEP AN EYE ON

Any foe of Jake is a foe of Jake Watch. Could one of these people be responsible for the loss of Jake Watch's two top agents? Let's consider the suspects:
Sir Anthony Hopkins who, despite his knightly title, once tried to drag Jake off the red carpet so he could kidnap him.

John Madden, who directed Jake in Proof and then inappropriately manhandled him in an ill-fated kidnapping attempt.

This guy, for whatever he did. And his attempted kidnapping plot.

Robert Downey, Jr., who once broke Jake's wrist while trying to kidnap him.

Dustin Hoffman, who successfully kidnapped Jake away from Susan Sarandan.

And George Clooney, because he just can't be trusted.

Only time will tell, Agents, if one of these people is responsible for the latest kidnapping tragedy. It's best to keep a weather eye just in case. Over and out.

Picture credit: IHJ.

29 comments:

cina said...

I just know it's George. He's pissed about the pig.

veeveevee said...

That John Madden guy looks dangerous. I don't trust him.

But Clooney is verrrrry clever. And as Cina pointed out - that pig comment in the GQ article probably didn't go over well at all. At. All.

cina said...

Well, I'm sure George didn't like that comment, but I was referring to when we accidentally killed George's pig Max as Terence mentioned in his post after BPB and PG had gone missing. :)

agenth said...

My money is on John Madden..the guy looks crazy.

Anonymous said...

Here's the thing.Jake is very physically fit. So IMHO,I think who ever is responsible will have to use guile and cunning rather than use force.
Thus, I move George and RD,Jr. to the top of the list. Jake likes and admires both of them. They have guile and cunning. These crimes are often committed by people we think we know as opposed to random crimes by total strangers. And both have a motive. Geoerge's is obvious. The Pig. Robert's motive may be less obvious. As for BPB and PG. I'm thinking SNL. Remember the "land shark?" Again. Guile and cunning.
It was someone they thought they knew. Have either BPB or PG ever expressed any interest in slaughtering pigs????

Anonymous said...

Are you suggesting that George Clooney kidnapped BPB and PG???? Bcz I'm totally up for that!!!!!

cina said...

Have either BPB or PG ever expressed any interest in slaughtering pigs????

No, but like I said, we accidentally killed George's pig Max when mugging him of his Oscar in order to give it to Jake instead. That's his motive.

I'm telling you. It's George. And I'm after him as we speak.

Anonymous said...

I know for a fact that despite seemingly severing all ties with his homeland, Anthony Hopkins is actually the Head of the Welsh Mafia, Codename: RED DRAGON. This also explains his role in the aforementioned film - it was a cover for a trans-continental sheep smuggling ring. There are pictures of Ed Norton with more sheep than any man needs.

I think this should be looked into.

Anonymous said...

If you go to the homepage of the Ellen show you can hear Jake being one of her 'Celebrity Stalkers' (on the Birthday edition)... you can hear him say "C'mon, pick up the phone." It made me all tingly.

veeveevee said...

Silly me, Cina! I had forgotten about that. I knew that George had an affinity for pigs, having had a pet one for years, and that it recently died. I had forgotten we killed it. No wonder George is pissed.

Definitely George. Definitely.

Although if he's the one who has Brit and PG, they may not necessarily want to be saved. Or at leat not for a little while... ;)

veeveevee said...

Oh and "Land Shark" - I LOVED Land Shark.

Candygram?

get real said...

According to IHJ, Jake was part of Ellen Degeneres birthday show. Hope someone can get it on YouTube. He sounds adorable as always trying to stalk her, lol.

And love these pics of him with random celebs.

Anonymous said...

I'm confused. I can understand totally why someone would want to kidnap Jake. Totally. But why would George Clooney want to kidnap BPB or PG???? It won't bring Max back!!!!! If this means we all have to take a side trip to Lake Como to investigate...I can do that.

smurfette said...

^^me too, but BPB and PG are our top agents responsible for ensuring jake's safety-- perhaps by first kidnapping the girls, the captor has succeeded in leaving jake more vulnerable than ever! good thing we've got agent 6 (whoever he is), and the rest of us manning the operations.

and thanks, anon and getreal for the ellen news, he's so sweet! i hope it gets on youtube too!

hmm... so jake is stalking ellen, much like we stalk him--i wonder if this has anything to do with PG and BPB's kidnapping? maybe a stretch, but you never know how these things come to be connected...

Agent Lola said...

Are you sure that's Jake saying "Come on, pick up the phone?" It doesn't sound like him at all! But if that was him....good God...just when I thought he couldn't get any sexier...

Anonymous said...

i wouldn't mind being kidnapped by george cloney.

and they look so hot together in that pic.

kaydee had a visual of being sandwiched between those two, with - or preferably without - tuxes.

guh

nice anonymous said...

I think it's none of the above. Instead, it's clearly a plot by Paramount-Dreamworks. Doubtless someone from the studio has kidnapped Jake. Even now a burly operative is muttering into Jake's ear: "You made fun of 'Dreamgirls' on national television. It was all over the Internet! Your clip was viewed by over a quarter of a million people on YouTube. And then we didn't get a Best Picture nomination. It's your fault, Jake. The only way we'll let you live is if you agree to spend the rest of your life as a love slave, chained up in David Geffen's basement."

Anonymous said...

or perhaps it's some lust-struck fan who'd like to keep jake in his storage room as a sex toy. ;)

veeveevee said...

Agent Vee here - I regularly DVR the Ellen show, so as soon as I get home from work (another two hours), I will do my agently duty and put the recordings on YouTube, if they're not already there.

I'll keep you posted.

Agent Vee Out.

Anonymous said...

I agree about Clooney, the pig comment did it.

PS: Jake's bit on the Ellen show sounds like a hoot!

Anonymous said...

I went to Ellen's website and watched a promo video for her b'day celebration. All I could hear was her celebrity stalker saying,"Pick up the phone, Ellen." With some heavy breathing...but if that was Jake, and it sure could have been, OMG!!! He sounded so incredibly sexy I almost...nevermind.

Anonymous said...

I think I know who abducted BPB and PG. Some manipulative and pretentious person who is probably trying to do a brain tranplant to get some funny shit in her own brain, since she totally lack any wit. I trust you know who I mean. Check out the latest, just check it out.

Anonymous said...

Ellen and Jake

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNTRxj1gu-I

smurfette said...

^^^ thanks so much, anon! so cute and sweet and funny. so jealous of ellen! haha, i love her too tho.

Anonymous said...

Awww! Jake played his harmonica for her...and Damn! He sounded SO sexy!!! I mean he really sounded...amazing...did he say he was in bed, playin' his harmonica??? Good thing he actually played it then! The harmonica... LOLOL!!!! O.M.G.

veeveevee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
veeveevee said...

And here's mine, as promised, although my sucky camera made the file too big, so I had to cut out Ellen's intro. Therefore it starts immediately with Jake:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ffEXrJtNiUI

Anonymous said...

I've heard a lot of descriptives in my long and eventful life as a somewhat promiscuous Democrat, but "in bed, my harmonica" is a new one. Gotta love the boy! How could you not!

nice anonymous said...

Ellen is in very good company, since I only recall Jake playing his harmonica on previous occasions for Heath & a flock of sheep. Thanks to all who are adept at YouTube for recording this & letting us hear that soft, goofy beloved voice. I wonder how many more media appearances Jake is going to make in the coming months. I'm so glad "Zodiac" is bringing him out onto the TV every other week or so. Wonder where else he's scheduled to show up?