Saturday, December 09, 2006

THE JAKE WATCH NEWS

With Jake! Remember the last time we had one of these babies? Oh boy, that was fun. Good times. Good times.

JAKE WATCH WILL NOT BE SWITCHING TO BETA BLOGGER
Not that any of you care but I was excited about it. It meant we could have catergories and stuff but when I tried to swap over it told me Jake Watch was too big. Jake Watch and it's fat ass...

PROPHECY GIRL ROCKS THE EXCEL
Thanks to everyone who took part in our survey. We're working on it as I type with Prophecy Girl using her spreadsheet mastery to perfect our scientific findings. Oh yeah, baby.

INPUT TIME
I would have made it in to a questionaire but I think we had a question and answer overload this week. Basically, with the new year approaching and britpopbaby getting restless about the layout again - is there anything you'd like to see at Jake Watch? Any changes? Any ideas?

FINALLY, BUT I SWEAR THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE I HAD TO TELL YOU...
Your questions answered...

Ya Brit, what did you have for breakfast this morning? asks Agent Simon.
A Kit Kat and two litres of Sunny Delight.

Are we ever going to see your socks? asks kaydee
NEVAAAAAAAAHHHH!

Aren't you afraid someone will set up a BritpopbabyWatch and stalk you? asks kaydee again.
Scared or a little turned on? I'd be very easy to stalk.

My question is have you got my Oasis CD? Because if you haven't, I've lost it asks Anneka.
I may have it but I also may have lost it too.

A while ago you mentioned that you'd been reading 70s postmodern novels, any recommendations? asks em
Angela Carter – The Passion of New Eve and The Infernal Desire Machines of Doctor Hoffman
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Passion_of_New_Eve

What are some of your other interests that we don't know about? asks em.
When I’m not blogging I enjoy road rage and caprese.

What's your favourite JW post? asks em.
Ooo…I’m not sure. I’ll have to come back to that one when I’m not high on Strepsils and Lemsip.

So what color are they? asks Dumbo.
Black mainly.

What REALLY happened between you lot and Stephen Gyllenhaal? Is there more to the story (because I have a feeling there is)? asks dear old anonymous.
Sarah920, is that you? Poppa tried to get PG drunk and then begged her to go to Masion Derriere with him. True story. Seriously though, we're writing the expose as we speak. It's going to make us hundredaires!! (PG adds: It's entirely true. I can also verify the alcohol in question was Peach Schnapps.)

Do u have Jake posters or things alike in your bedroom/bathroom/kitchen anywhere?!? asks Agent sam 985
No I don’t, I'm not allowed to use Blu Tac 'cos I eat it. I wouldn't recommend keeping Jake posters in your bathroom.

Query for PG: Tell us everything about you. I feel like I know some stuff about BPB. She's an agent that poses as a student like Sydney Bristow and she's now got a 9-5 as a cover for her life of intrigue but what are you all about? What makes you tick? How do you pay the bills? asks squall.
My friends will tell you I work a mundane office job that is completely unrelated to any ambitions I might someday acquire, but what do they know? They also might tell you I've been heavily involved in 5 fandoms since age 2 and never crushed on a boy in college who was remotely within my social stratosphere, but I have no idea what any of that has to do with Jake.

Query for BPB: When/If your Jake Gyllenhaal interest wanes do you think you'll do another kind of blog? What kind? asks squall.
How could life possibly carry on if my unhealthly obsession with Jake were to wane? Although, tea, being my one true love, does deserve that website I always promised it.

Can we see a picture of the REAL bpb not the cartoon. I'd love to put a face to the name! asks Agent sam 985.
Already answered I think. You can find mugshots of me, PG and anneka if you know where to look (wink, wink, nudge, nudge...no not there!)

Hey, I almost forgot my last question: Is anneka a real person or BPB's or PG's alter ego? asks kaydee.
Anneka is my Frank the Rabbit. Except she is only 5’2 and Welsh. And real, I think, but either way I should probably see a psychiatrist about her.

49 comments:

Simon Agent 002 said...

Sunny Delight?
I never could understand how anyone could drink that stuff. let alone like it.
Yet many people do?

Kit Kat?...it will due in a pinch, I suppose.

Ideas? Would you rather them sent via e-mail or posted here?

Anonymous said...

October Sky is on USA network now.

cina said...

LOL! What's with his hair? ;-)

em said...

What sort of drink is Sunny Delight?

Thanks for the link, BPB, I've been thinking about giving magic realism a try for a while, though I'm a little wary of post-feminist philosophy.
'Desire Machines' reminds me of Deleuze and Guattari! ;o)

>So what color are they? asks Dumbo.
>Black mainly.

I think a description of your socks would be even sexier... pretty please? ;oD

What do David Fincher, Gavin Hood and Ang Lee have in common, besides working with J to the G? They (along with a gaggle of other innovative media types) belong to a cutting-edge group called Anonymous Content. You can find fab commercials (some of Fincher's include Coke, Nike, Adidas, Motorola and Heineken and HP), music videos (including some by a 'Joaquin Phoenix') and movie trailers at their website, www.anonymouscontent.com... I spent many happy hours browsing through their archives today.
'Rendition' is being produced by the company's founder and CEO, Steve Golin (who also financed 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', 'Being John Malkovich' and 'Babel').

Simon Agent 002 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Simon Agent 002 said...

Sunny Delight?...
I don't have a clear memory of the taste,as I spat it out so quickly.
But I think it's suppose to be some orange flavored beverage?
It sort of glows in color not unlike auto coolant,and now that I think of it it may taste like auto coolant?


The hair? ...either his hair piece became loose or a head transplant malfunction?....either way it's charming.

kaydee said...

Aren't you afraid someone will set up a BritpopbabyWatch and stalk you? asks kaydee again.
Scared or a little turned on? I'd be very easy to stalk.


oh, turned on, of course. i already told you about my obsession with your dominatrix attire and the whip ;D

and i thought jake's hair is a classy chignon, no?

kaydee said...

and what an ugly tie. i think he should only wear the shirt from now on...

Anneka's Alias said...

Kaydee, I cannot believe you don't think I exist.

I cannot believe that comment is making me doubt my own existence.

Is Britpop 'Joan of Arcadia' and am I God? Cos if I am, I gonna be raining down vengeance on you Kaydee for not believing I exist.

kaydee said...

I gonna be raining down vengeance on you Kaydee for not believing I exist.


like what, heap coals of fire on my head? put me in hell for the whole eternity? not posting pics of jake in sheer shirts? not making bbm review? :P

cina said...

Thanks to everyone who took part in our survey. We're working on it as I type with Prophecy Girl using her spreadsheet mastery to perfect our scientific findings. Oh yeah, baby.

I can't wait to see the result of this!!

Anonymous said...

You have to make a website devoted to tea! I love tea more than almost anything and I'd love to hear what you have to say about it and what blends you'd recommend.

kaydee said...

^^^^ ditto, anon 7:44. tea's the second best thing in the world! just a step behind chocolate.

kaydee said...

seems i forgot to mebntion jake in the sheer shirt. lol

so tea's third

Nothing Really Matters said...

PG always a wiz with the computer!

Anonymous said...

I'll come back later when I can post appropriately. Right now, I'm having "shirt" hangover. Gonna have to double up on my meds.
This is like post traumatic stress syndrome...only nicer.

Carla said...

OT:
It seems that the Rendition production is moving to Morocco today. I just found this at IMDB from a person that claims to be an extra on the set:

"I don't think they will be filming in DC cuz yesterday I worked as an extra on this movie in L.A and we were supposed to be in DC. They are done with all their American filming cuz I heard that today there are going to Morrocco"

I do not know how reliable the person is, but if it is true, perhaps the pics with THE SHIRT were Jakes present to us before he disappears for a long time...

Anonymous said...

I think they have publists, paparazzi and cameras in Morocco.
Unless less Witherspoons bans photos being taken in the entire country?
She does have pull.

cina said...

Oh how very sweet of Jake to think of us! ;)

Wet For Went said...

I was just thinking, I wonder what Brits had for breakfast this morning? And then I come here and there's my answer. I love the internet. I have no idea how PG managed to avoid PG's charm seeing as he's so poetic and all. Hey, PG & PG...I never noticed that before. I was just pondering how I would feel about the Beta switch today myself but I've read horror stories and everything mostly works the way I like it so I'm sticking. I wanted the categories but I think I may have another way...Oh and Jake Watch's fat ass made my day.

Girl Friday said...

Sunny Delight?
I never could understand how anyone could drink that stuff. let alone like it.
Yet many people do?


I don't know what the hell Sunny Delight is (or Sunny-D as the kids "around the way" call it) but it sure as hell isn't orange juice.

Simon Agent 002 said...

Sunny Delight is the soylent green of our times!

ATD said...

I wouldn't recommend keeping Jake posters in your bathroom.

Well if you get them laminated then there really isn't a problem...no?
Ok I'll take them down then!

Anonymous said...

She can ban all she wants, but there are still pictures getting out, bcz I saw some of her. No Jake, tho. I wonder if she's even part of the Morocco shoot? It may just be Jake. I hope there'll be someone with a camera who's as smitten as I am and takes some pics of him on location even if it isn't about the J&R combo.I have this scene in mind, see. Jake witnesses the interrogation and is sickened by it and wants to lose himself in despair so he hooks up for some hot anonymous sex...in a shower...

Anonymous said...

Reese has the power of the inviso-ray. If she deems it, no one will ever see you again.

Anonymous said...

^^ Well I'll be the first to say see ya Ryan!

S4M985 said...

No jake posters in the bathroom?! Man maybe i did go a little too far! haha... jk. And who said your not allowed Blu Tac? Im sure its not THAT harmful if you eat it...
I cant wait for the suvery results and the expose on Poppa. Makes me wonder what good old Steph will have to say about THAT!

S4M985 said...

And yes cina, i noticed the hair too! As Jake said a few posts ago to the dude with no socks... What is UP with that!

Newport Girl said...

Kaydee told BPB that she would be "turned on, of course. i already told you about my obsession with your dominatrix attire and the whip"

Kaydee, that wasn't BPB, it was me.

PAY ATTENTION OR I'M GONNA HAVE TO WHIP YOU AGAIN, MISSY!!!

Newport Girl said...

Cina said "LOL! What's with his hair?"

Jake, along with the other three members of the Channel 4 GoodMorning! NewsTeam, Julee (co-anchor) Johnny (Sports) and Janie (Weather), has what is known in the industry as NEWSCASTER HAIR.

NEWSCASTER HAIR is ratted, puffed and amended with extensions and hairpieces in order to give the illusion that the actual pea-sized brain buried deep inside is brimming with so much intellectual activity that it is growing to mammoth proportions and is ready to burst.

NEWSCASTER HAIR also feeds the fantasies of the Network BigWig, as having a head blow up on Live Television would knock the ratings right off the chart.

Newport Girl said...

Everybody says "What is Sunny Delight?"

Sunny D is a drink made from a mixture of citrus juices, primarily orange.

What I'm worried about, though, is the quantity of BPB's consumption, as she herself admitted to having two litres at breakfast.

I once had a friend who drank so much Sunny D that his whole entire mouth and lips broke out with cold sores, due to the high acidic content of the beverage. It tooks weeks for the sores to go away and it was pretty ugly.

So, BPB, watch your Sunny D intake, okay? You wouldn't want to run into Jake and have a mouthful of oozing sores waiting for him. Sure, he'd be screaming OMG OMG OMG, but it wouldn't be the orgasm type of OMG that you've been dreaming of.

Kendra said...

I'm a fierce devote of "Sunny Delight", too, Bpb. I love all its versions: orange, lemon, strawberry flavors, I always sip a glass of Sunny in the breakfasts, my everyday Vitamin C dose.

mpom said...

Good morning JW. I have a slight headache his morning. It was either caused by the dream I had last night about me and Jake trying to find my daughters car, which I parked and forgot where, or black shirt brain overload.

If it's true that JG is on his way to Morocco for Rendition, I want to wish him safe journey and a good shoot. I am always a bit nervous when my children travel, particularly out of the country, and up in the air. I know we at JW must let him go but we want him back without a molecule disturbed. I am sure the agents will debrief him upon his return. No squabbling over who gets the job.

hedda parsons said...

Sunny Delight! I just had a major flashback to my childhood and it wasn't good!

Simon Agent 002 said...

Sunny
Delight

Newport Girl said...

MPOM: "If it's true that JG is on his way to Morocco for Rendition, I want to wish him safe journey and a good shoot. I am always a bit nervous when my children travel, particularly out of the country, and up in the air."

Since JG is afraid of heights, it's possible that he's traveling by boat. lol

Girl Friday said...

It's official, when I become a prostitute at the Bunny Ranch I'm going to use Sunny Delight or "Sunny D" for short as my working girl name.

I'll wear only atomic tangerine and have glow in the dark tassels.

Simon Agent will have to work on helping me get giant Texan hair. What else would you expect from a whore named Sunny D?

Simon Agent 002 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Simon Agent 002 said...

^she'd be sweet like corn syrup? and maybe she'd chew Xanthan Gum?

The Bearded Lady said...

"Morocco cutting penises of US rendition suspects."

OH GOD
Jake please be careful!

Bush is depraved.

nice anonymous said...

I'll be interested to see how closely "Rendition" reflects what went on at Guantanamo. I really wonder what they are doing with it.

I also wish a safe journey to Jake as he travels to Morocco. Sometimes, when I think of him, I start flashing back upon the life & career of James Dean & you all can imagine where my worries go then. (I am a worrier, really.) I don't want him to become a posthumous icon. Not till he's at least reached Jack Palance's age.

But Morocco ... how cool is that? In my mind, in Marrakesh, it's always the 60s, with Talitha Getty, Marianne Faithful, Mick Jagger, clouds of opium smoke, beaded curtains, ethnic-looking robes & jewelry, hippies traveling through & etc. I'm imagining Jake stretched out on a divan, with a water pipe, behaving a little less than wholesomely.

kaydee said...

PAY ATTENTION OR I'M GONNA HAVE TO WHIP YOU AGAIN, MISSY!!!

@Newport Girl: Promises, promises!

Anonymous said...

I read somewhere that Natalie Portman has made a couple of trips to Morrocco just as a traveller, not for work and no one recognizes or bothers her. It seems a relatively safe place to shoot a film. They do a lot of film shoots there. Then of course they are supposed to go to South Africa.
Don't know if Jake is in scenes at all these locations, but I assume he is. It sounds like a wonderful adventure for him.Think about it.
Even Jarhead was shot stateside. Proof, DD, October Sky, Zodiac. The most "exotic" location was Calgary! On his own he's visited places like the UK, France, Venice, Berlin, (for film festivals) the North Pole(!).
I can't think of too many young single, 25/26 year olds that wouldn't be up for the travel experience. My own kids had travelled to Brazil, Argentina, Mexico, Amsterdam, UK, France, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Barcelona Canada, all before they were 26.

Anonymous said...

Index

Newport Girl said...

Girl Friday: "It's official, when I become a prostitute at the Bunny Ranch I'm going to use Sunny Delight or "Sunny D" for short as my working girl name. I'll wear only atomic tangerine and have glow in the dark tassels."

And by that time, after drinking all that Sunny D, those extra three breasts (one on each knee and one on your right shoulder blade) should really come in handy!

Girl Friday said...

And by that time, after drinking all that Sunny D, those extra three breasts (one on each knee and one on your right shoulder blade) should really come in handy!

Please girl, those are perfect for dancing .... yeah.

Newport Girl said...

You'll have triple tits!

I mean TIPS...

Newport Girl said...

...I work at the Chicken Ranch, myself...

Newport Girl said...

*newport_girl runs out to Costco, loads up the rented U-Haul with all the Sunny D they had to offer, drives madly over to Sam's Club, buys all their Sunny D too
goes back to the Ranch
inserts the Sunny D IV drip
and waits
and it drips
and waits
it drips some more
and waits, waits, waits
for the triple tits to appear*

*still waiting*