Thursday, October 26, 2006


Remember when I asked you which film you'd like to see reviewed next and you arkward sods chose Brokeback Mountain? Well tough, cos Anneka has reviewed October Sky instead.

Welcome to Anneka’s Picture House. BYO usherette.

Ah Autumn. Is there any finer time of the year? Yes. Summer. But anyway, let’s celebrate Autumn, not by dressing up and asking strangers for sweets – we can do that any old weekend. Instead, let’s watch my new favourite Jake film, October Sky. Despite what piss I might rip out of it in the near future, it’s ace, see it.

Adverts. If I started a woman’s insurance company called Diamond, it would have taken me a lot less than two years to come up with the slogan ‘Diamond is a girl’s best friend’. Maybe I should work in advertising…Maybe I should get on with the review

Film’s starting. Voice Over informs us that the Russians have launched a satellite into orbit. Good for them. Shots of a depressing looking coal mine like the one I worked in as a child when times were hard and I slept in the piano stool. Shots of grubby miners looking depressed. They should be. Working in a Movie Mine, you are guaranteed an accident. People gather around their radios, hearing about Sputnik, the satellite and also the name of my fake Auntie’s dog. Small world. The barber’s stopped shaving someone’s face. That’s not how you make money son. And now the Commies are spying on you, you wanna work twice as hard before they take your money, divide it amongst everyone and send you to a commune where you’ll be paid in carrots. That’s what Marx wanted, right?

Voice Over tells us Sputnik will be visible at night as it crosses the October Sky. There’s a group of people who go to the cinema and when they hear the name of the film uttered e.g. “Welcome to the Moulin Rouge!”, “You’re the wedding singer” or “Lil shop, lil shop of horrors”, they stand up, applaud, and leave. Bet they were pissed off at having to sit through all three Lord of the Rings films waiting for someone to say “Frodo, truly you are Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring can now depart”. We are informed this is based on a true story. October Sky, not Lord of the Rings.

Jake’s friends have come to pick him up in their car. Jake’s sporting a cute Southern accent. I do loves my Southern Gentlemen, sitting on the porch of my plantation, telling me life is like a boxa choclits while Atlanta burns in the distance. Jake’s one friend appears to be called Row-Lee, but I may be having some trouble with Jake’s accent. We are in Coalwood, West Virginia. Somebody certainly used their imaginations when naming the town with the coal mine. Row-Lee’s car is very slow. I see where this is going. They’re going to be inspired by Sputnik to try and get around by rocket power!

Jake is playing football. His brother asks the opposing team to go easy on him. But Jake’s a tough guy. He’ll kick their asses so hard…Nope, Jake’s sprawled on his back. Just how we like him. Evil chuckle. Jake tries to psyche the other team out. “I’m gonna run right over you, you sonofabitch.” The guy on the other team looks scared, not ’cos he’s threatened but because Jake is being weird. Jake predictably gets knocked down. Medic! Medic! The coach sends Homer (Jake) off before he dies. Jake looks disappointed. Has anyone ever known anyone called Homer that wasn’t a cartoon character or a Greek poet?

Cut to Other Friend trying to start the car while Jake and Row-Lee push it. See, now my rocket power transportation idea doesn’t seem so stupid, does it? Jake is moaning about the football players getting scholarships. Now they’re reading about Sputnik. Row-Lee says “Who needs outer space? We got rock and roll.” Beneath the attractive haircut, a brain full of bran. Jake’s Movie Dad appears to be the Nazi Plate Collector from American Beauty, but with more coal dust on his face as we hear him yelling at a character named Jake down the mine. That’s a happy coincidence. Nazi Plate Collector sees a guy whacking a pillar with a sledge hammer. That’s a real clever thing to do down a coalmine, Jensen. Nazi Plate Collector jumps on Jensen and the roof collapses. Ten minutes in and we’ve already got our first coal mine disaster. That could be a record.

Above ground, sirens are going off. Jake and Friends run to the mine, ’cos they’re nosey bitches. Jensen is told that Nazi Plate Collector saved his life. Jake looks so proud, his baby blues sparkling like diamonds in the coal dust as he says, “That’s my Dad.” Then Nazi Plate Collector fires Jensen for bringing the roof down, which is fair play. Would you want to be working in a mine with someone who had a history of doing that? Everyone else seems pissed at Nazi Plate Collector, including Jake who says in a less proud voice, “That’s my Dad.” Nazi Plate Collector then comes to see Jake, asking how football went. Ooooooh, touchy subject NPC, like the Oscar going to Crash. NPC says Jake should shovel coal to build up his muscles. Yeah, and you know where you can stick that shovel NPC. Jake was meant to soar with the A-List, not dig in the dirt. Another miner comes along and makes fun of Jake for his aversion to coal mining. You wait til another roof collapses on you mate, won’t be laughing so hard then. Random miner says coming from Coalwood means you have to be a coal miner. Does that mean people from Liverpool have to have livers? Or pools? Jake looks v. unimpressed.

Coalwood school. Sam Neill’s Bit On The Side From Jurassic Park and Jurassic Park Three Claw Marks is making her class listen to the radio about Sputnik. Most of the class, except American Pie’s The Shermanator, are unimpressed. The Shermanator tells us some statistics while Jake makes eyes at some Susie Highschool bird across the classroom. Mrs Sam Neill shows off her southern accent and when she catches Jake drooling over Susie, says “I got my eye on you boy”. Back off Misses, you’re committed to Sam Neill. From the back of the classroom, a Plainer Jane makes longing eyes at Jake. I know how you feel love. Not about the plainer part. ’Cos I am one foxymoron.

People gather at night to watch the satellite passing by. One Cold War random says it’s taking pictures. Yeah, the Russians really want a picture of you. It’s Jake they’re after and he’s busy on the porch learning how to scam on chicks at movies, which somehow ends with Row-Lee giving Jake a nipple twist. Back off Row-Lee, Jake likes girls in this film as well. Someone shouts they can see it, the satellite not Jake’s nipple, and Jake takes the bait and comes off the porch. All the extras look up and point. A dot of light travels across the starry sky. Jake is suitably impressed and stays looking at it while everyone else pisses off home.

The next morning, Jake’s New Movie Mom is pouring tea – yay! – while NPC and Jake’s brother are chatting about football scouts and how proud NPC is of his oldest boy. In the middle of all this, Jake looks up from his breakfast with a big dopey grin on his face and says in his best Southern accent “I’m gonna build a rocket.” Awww, bless. NPC is unimpressed. New Movie Mom tells him not to blow himself up in the way that a teacher tells a small child not to hurt themselves with the safety scissors.

Jake’s friends come round to see him let off his first rocket. Just as Row-Lee asks if they should get behind something, the rocket explodes, throwing all three of them T over A and sprinkling them with bits of picket fence. New Movie Mom runs out and asks what happened. Jake says my bad. New Movie Mom says “Didn’t I tell you not to blow yourself up?”. Jake looks sheepish. Awww don’t embarrass him in front of Row-Lee and the other one.

Jake Voice Over reading a letter he’s written to some American rocket scientist that sounds like Doctor Van Damme. Doctor Jean-Claude Van Damme. Voice Over Jake sends his condolences as we watch an American rocket attempt explode, destroying all picket fences around it. Jake can’t find any reading material in Coalwood as during the coal shortage of ’49, all books were used as fuel. Jake eyes The Shermanator’s big book with a predatory look on his pretty face.
Jake’s friends try to talk him out of hanging with The Shermanator, it being social suicide. Jake gives Plainer Jane the brush-off and goes to talk to The Shermanator. The cafeteria goes silent. In a German accent, DA SHERMANATOR DOES NOT LET ANYVUN COPY HIS HOMEVORK. Awww, if he was not made of metal, or ginger, I’d hug him. Jake asks him if he knows about rockets. OF COURSE DA SHERMANATOR KNOWS ABOUT RACKETS. Jake wants him to go to the library with him. The Shermanator obviously computes this as some sort of sexual advance and doesn’t want to. Despite being stared at by everyone, Jake sits down. There are gasps among the cool students, like when super-stud Ross Townley sat at my lunch table once…Sorry, I was miles away. DA SHERMANATOR VANTS TO KNOW VAT JAKE VANTS TO KNOW ABOUT RACKETS. Jake gives a slightly evil smile and says everything. The Shermanator starts his computer programme that tells Jake everything about rockets. Jake orders Row-Lee to drive them to his house where they play in the basement, cutting up metal and brooms and mixing dangerous chemicals. They have a rocket-shaped implement but need to weld something onto it. Row-Lee points out that they don’t know how to weld. Well learn boy, learn! What use are you to us otherwise? Jake’ll kick you out of the Basement Gang for sure.
Tune in again soon for Part 2 and then maybe 3 or 4.


smurfette said...

yay! loves october sky

Jake looks up from his breakfast with a big dopey grin on his face and says in his best Southern accent “I’m gonna build a rocket.”

young jake is adorably dopey in that aw-shucks, eager-beaver southern boy way, in this movie, isn’t he?

but wait— DA SHERMANATOR VANTS TO KNOW VAT JAKE VANTS TO KNOW ABOUT RACKETS. Jake gives a slightly evil smile and says everything.

even in this early performance, we can see hints of the darko that is to come! great job, anneka, keep it coming!

Anonymous said...

he was soooooo cute in October Sky - his Pre-Thee Sex days..

Prophecy Girl said...

BEAUTIFUL, Anneka! There should be a way for you to make money doing this. Maybe when we start the Jake Watch Press. I particularly enjoyed the SHERMANATOR bits. HA!

em said...

October Sky is my favourite Jake movie after Jarhead, it's a very sweet, inspiring tale of a type I haven't seen a lot of lately. It may be fairly traditional but it's very well made (and very finely acted- have you guys noticed that Chris Cooper pops up in so many fantastic, off-beat films like Adaptation, American Beauty and Jarhead? Chris has worked with a Gyllenhaal at least three times so far, since Maggie was also in Adaptation!).

I'd like to invite you funky, forgeous Jake Watch readers to visit my blog, at! It involves streams of (self-)consciousness on all sorts of texts (postmodern and otherwise) and hopes to provide some insightful social commentary - any feedback would be greatly appreciated! :oD
You'll find several mentions of Jake within the posts, and a post on Maggie's upcoming films (though some of those films may only be upcoming to those of us in Australia!)

Nothing Really Matters said...

This must be the only JAke movie i've never seen!

muffin said...

well get thee to a DVD rental store NRM and get yourself a copy!!

It's a graet film and one of my favs too....thank you Anneka!!!!!! Hopefully you will convert many a watcher to the wonderful OS!

cina said...

You should really see it NRM. It's a really sweet film and Jake is adorable in it! :-)

Like has been said by others: Great job Anneka! I haven't seen the film in a long while and this is the best way to re-live it without seeing it! LOL

nice anonymous said...

I really **adore** this movie, being myself descended from coal-mining people who lived in the anthracite region in Pennsylvania. What I love is the atmosphere, which to me feels authentic for a former "patch" town. Kudos to whoever scouted out the locations, worked on the sets & the costumes. To discover, years after first seeing it, that the young male lead whom I'd admired grew up to be JAKE, was an unexpected bonus. I didn't know they were one & the same until after "Brokeback Mountain" won me over last winter.

I feel like "October Sky" is like Jake's "National Velvet" or something.

Anonymous said...

I feel like "October Sky" is like Jake's "National Velvet" or something.

That's a very nice observation!

playitagain said...

Anneka,great work. old timey
"belly laughs" throughout.

mpom said...

Thanks Anneka. Great choice. This is so funny. I watched OS today just a few hours ago. Jake is wonderful in it and I always feel good at the end.

I must say there is no man on earth who looks as good as Jake does with his face covered in coal dust.

This too will become a classic, along with your review of TDAT. Can't wait for the next installment.

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Shots of a depressing looking coal mine like the one I worked in as a child when times were hard and I slept in the piano stool.

Haha omg! I had a bit of a wtf moment with that one. I absolutely LOVE October Sky, I can't wait for your review of it, Anneka! Especially when Jake heads down the, dirty Jake.

Anonymous said...

Loved OS, and seeing it thru you eyes has given me a whole new perspective!!!! Love your review. Love it!!! LMAO!!!

Keks said...

I really love this movie..
Jake is so sweet and innocent.

by the way, perhaps anybody here wants to watch a really hot video on my webblog (only little off topic) Australian Speedo Boys (the hot link cames from a David Cullen Lashers, she asks herself wow Jake would be look in such a little speedo, Answer: HOT of course...)

havs a nice weekend

Anonymous said...

Not to change the subject of October Sky because I love this movie and own the special edition but I found this video of Pedro, a waiter in NY who waited on Jake, his mom, and a mystery woman who turned out to be Greta Caruso.

Here's the link to his blog:

Anonymous said...

Hey the guy who played his dad (Chris Cooper) in OS - was also Lt. Col. Kazinski in the Jarhead film - he spoke to all the troops when they got off the plane and when they all went in that tent - and also the guy that assigned Jake & sarsgaard to a special sniper job that eventually got taken fromt them.

He was also Col. Harry Burwell in Teg Patriot (with LEdger). He plays a military guy a lot doesnt he?

He has worked with tons of amazing actors in a lot of great films - he even won an Oscar 7 golden globe for best supp actor in Adaptation.

The man is in everything!!

Anonymous said...

I meant an Oscar A& Golden Globe..not 7 Golden Globe

JoyceDavenport said...

Hey Nice Anon I really identify with this movie too 'cause my dad was a miner when I was little and all my grandparent's worked in the mines.The whole theme of education being the saviour of these kids really struck home. Great movie Jake- always something with a worthwhile theme. Great review Anneka- always funny as hell.

Anonymous said...

Are there any more of these reviews on Jake Watch? This one was hilarious, I'd hate to have missed any!

Agent Krycek said...

Anon 11:35 AM there's a hysterical Day after Tomorrow one - well worth checking out.

Lovely job again on October Sky - mucho appreciated

penny lane said...

em and Anon 9:56 AM: yes, Chris Cooper in my opinion is one of those underrated actors that people sometimes have a hard time to put a name to the face on the screen. I remember Jake mentioning in an interview he has learned a lot as an actor from Chris Cooper.

JoyceDavenport said...

Er Britpop- just noticed- BYO usherette!

Surely JW should provide every patron with their own personal Jake-a-Like attendant to bring them drinks and snacks and hold them and comfort them and whisper soothing, calming words at the scary/sad bits?

If not I want a refund on my CinemaJake season ticket as I am sure I read in the small print that all of the above was included in the price.

I may have to complain to trading standards.

Simon Agent 002 said...

I had a tramatic experience with a usherette.
A cranky old woman wielding a flashlight, at Philadelphia International Airport (worse in the nation pay more to avoid ;)IMO)
She had us in a blacken closed gate and refused to allow us to return to the gate where are plane was departing...suddenly unexpectedly after many many hours of delay....a large group of people over 30 walking outside the terminal for over 3 blocks (at midnight) due to this evil woman.
We were like the group from survivor...
Luckily, no one was hit by a taxi or a last minute arrival.

Anonymous said...

It's so good to have this blog back to what made it great. Wow a week of awesome creative posts.

kaydee said...

the film doesn't sound particularly interesting. all jake's films except for BBM and perhaps Donnie Darko sound completely stupid (except for his presence in them).

definetely not my cup of tea, but i adore your reviews. keep them coming!

i don't want to prove an awkward sod anymore, but could you please review BBM next?

smurfette said...

i think it’s really good to see october sky in the context of jake’s body of work, because you see so much of his raw talent in this young role. this is the youngest jake movie i’ve seen because I’ve never seen city slickers or josh and sam or anything like that, but it’s an important one, because he basically carries the movie on his as yet undeveloped shoulders hehe. and I think a lot of people like to lump jake’s early roles as all characters that are disturbed or quirky misfits, but here, you see jake playing the all-american boy, and excelling at it really. it’s a simple story, but cool to me he showed such range that early on.

Anonymous said...

Off topic, but I've been wondering since I found this blog a couple of weeks ago, is that picture actually you? Or is that someone who's famous, and I should know that, and I'm really an idiot for asking! lol Just wondering. Gorgeous picture. ;)

britpopbaby said...

i don't want to prove an awkward sod anymore, but could you please review BBM next?

I do have a half a review of BBM waiting in the wings. Anneka wouldn't do it cos she found BBM boring. Wow, I really dropped her in it just then.

Anneka's Alias said...

You whorebag. I never said it was boring. But since you have started a smear campaign, I hereby withdraw my reviewing services and demand you return the rest of my October Sky review. If you put it on this website or any other, I will sue, take your cat, drop a sofa on it so it will be a write-off and then you know what comes next.

And I'm ripping up your fucking birthday card.

kaydee said...

wow, did i start (unwillingly) an argument in the family?

Anneka wouldn't do it cos she found BBM boring.

i will pretend i never read that

I will sue, take your cat, drop a sofa on it so it will be a write-off

no harming any cats, please. i'm exceptionally partial to them

I hereby withdraw my reviewing services and demand you return the rest of my October Sky review

don't do it, please. i just might get virtually killed by other readers for provoking this

and finally, the best info for my poor self: I do have a half a review of BBM waiting in the wings.

yay Brits i love you!

perfectscore_goldstar said...

Joyce, I read "Jake a Like" as "JAKE A LICK" and I wanted to know where I could sign up ... ;)

And Jake has a whole "worked with all the major actors in Sling Blade" thing going on ... he acted with the Mom in "October Sky" and the boy, Frank ("I lahk the way you tawlk") in Jarhead, and Karl "Sling Blade" in Homegrown ... next up he just has to work with Dwight Yoakam and he's "done" them all ! ;)

nice anonymous said...

"Brokeback Mountain" is boring?

I'm speechless.

I must leave this blog. Now.

Before something unpretty happens.

SquallCloud said...

This was way fun Anneka! YAY! I look forward to Jake and The Basement Gang's adventures in toto. I actually saw this movie and Jake was adorable in it and acted his little faux southern accent having ass off but I CAN'T WAIT for you to do Darko! I didn't get that shit. Jake didn't get it either but he loved it. I loved it for The Jake the other performances were great too but really truly it was all about the Jake.

Kendra said...

Jake as Homer: nerdy, rocket specialist and child-boy, as Donnie: nerdy and sexy, more trascendental.

Anonymous said...

^ Squallcloud, I watched DD THREE times, the Director's Cut, and I'm still confused. lol Agreed, we need a good Donnie Darko review. ;)

Anonymous said...

I simply must ask, based on the comment above, is the term "whorebag" a term of endearment on this site? ;)
Maybe in the same way that "son of a whoreson bitch" was a term of endearment for Jack and Ennis? ;)

I think our fearless leaders must be getting in the right frame of mind for the future BBM review. ;)

JoyceDavenport said...

Anon 8.34

You can stop fantasising.
Alas my blog image is way more glamourous than the truth. Joyce was the very cool public defender in the seminal cop series Hill Street Blues. The only things we have in common are our profession and our outlook and the fact that niether of us will see 45 again.She was my icon as a young lawyer. That was 25 years ago.

perfect_goldstar- mmmm- Jake-a lick - could be the coolest new flavour in town. I'm sure CinemaJake would be packed.

Brits, Anneka - if you are going to squabble at least pm each other- public threats of cat murder could be used against you in court you know. Just some friendly legal advice.

*hopes Anneka is still talking to her after sticking her nose into her job interview*

britpopbaby said...

Anneka didn't like Donnie Darko either. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Anonymous said...

Anneka didn't like Donnie Darko either. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

You don't say! Pray tell, (at the risk of being called a whorebag, or worse having a couch slung in my direction) are you on medication...anneka dear?
Ah, but you're welsh...that explains it then.

britpopbaby said...

Sorry, but I'm the only one who is allowed to take the piss out out of Anneka.

The Bearded Lady said...

^^Does Anneka know this?

Anonymous said...

^ Anon 8:34 here. lol Thanks Joyce for explaining. ;) I do remember the actress and the show now that you have triggered my memory. See, I knew I would end up feeling like an idiot for not recognizing the pic. ;) (And I neither confirm nor deny the fantasizing comment.) ;)

veeveevee said...

Staying out of reviewgate and the boring comments. Love your reviews, Anneka, and am waiting (as patiently as possible) for Bubble Boy which is on Comedy Central (when isn't it?) as I speak, and I can't help but laugh all the way through. Jimmy is such a dork, and yet there are those certain tilts of the head, a quick peek of the Tongue in action, and the way his eyes smile that completely reveal the man he is yet to become. I adore this movie, and I'm not afraid to admit it! ;-)

Anneka's Alias said...

Okay, clearing this up once and for all - Brokeback Mountain is not boring and I was generally confused by Donnie Darko, but as everybody seems to have been, I am now no longer afraid to admit this. Britpop offered to review BBM because I did not have it in my vicinity, and I was a little afraid of the lashing out that would surely follow. Why she has no posted it, take it up with her. However, I have recently invested in a copy of the Jake Gyllenhaal DVD collection and now have a plethera of films to review in my own sweet time.

The cat thing is a quote from some weird comedy programme. If you think I can be arsed to drive to the other end of the country in order to abduct Britpop's cat, find a sofa and drop it on the said cat, then you have greater faith in me than most.

And I as I paid the grand sum of £2.24 for your birthday card Britpop, and you sorta stuck up for me (above) in a weird way, I could not bring myself to tear it to shreds. Is spitting in it a little more affectionate?

Anonymous said...

Anon 4.21 here. I hope that you didnt take offence, I was only joking around but re-reading my post it came across all wrong. My apologies.

nice anonymous said...

My respect for Anneka has been completely restored.

(Would that this could also happen so easily the Gyllenpappa. No such luck, I'm afraid.)

SquallCloud said...

An Anneka review coming up in yummy installments with a Britpop review waiting in the wings? Just dviine. That movie was the saddest sad that ever did sad so I'm not quite sure how your gonna make it funny but the Brokeback in 30 seconds with the bunnies never fails to make me laugh so have at it dear!

Anonymous said...

^ I LOVE the 30 second bunnies doing BBM...have it on my desktop and watch it every morning before I start working. lol ;-)

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