Thursday, August 17, 2006

I DON'T MEAN TO TURN ON MY OWN KIND BUT...

CASTAWAY star (when they say this they mean THIS Castaway not THIS one) AMANDA DONOHOE has a crush on Hollywood heart-throb JAKE GYLLENHAAL - and it appears the feeling is mutual. The British actress, 44, recently met the BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN hunk, who was too stunned by Donohoe to talk to her. She says, "I wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating biscuits! He has the most gorgeous bedroom eyes. He's quite Irish looking and has a piercing stare. "I met him in the flesh and he's just lovely. I didn't get tongue tied, but he did a bit." [Source]

I'm sure you've all read this little "account" by now but I think it deserves the full Jake Watch dressing down. For those of you who don't know who the hell this woman is, she is this person:

You may or may not have noticed that I have copy and pasted her next to Ellen Pompeo (right). They are similar, no? Trust me, it's going somewhere. Jake likes some Pomp, no? So ...yeah?

Now, listen Donohoe, from this evidence I can believe that Jake might find you attractive - he seems to like the 'impish' sorts. I can also believe that Jake might not have spoken to you but rather then being "tounge-tied" at your beauty he was more likely shell-shocked because you probably tried to rub yourself up against him from the sounds of it. Please don't do that, Jake is a sensitive lad. Throwing around turns of phrase like, "bedroom eyes" and "eating biscuits" might have done all kinds of things to his mind. I can only imagine it was like when Jayne Seymour tried to seduce Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers.

And FYI, Donohoe, this is the only way someone can 'look Irish':

I'm going to let this slide because you're British and foxy and in Bad Girls tonight (coincedence?) but next time you meet Jake just tell him what a talented actor he is and LEAVE IT AT THAT.

86 comments:

smurfette said...

I can only imagine it was like when Jayne Seymour tried to seduce Owen Wilson in Wedding Crashers.

lololololol!! haha, we're not jealous =P. thanks for the clarification, bp-- she is quite attractive tho hmph..

who's ADORABLE dog is that? tho i don't mind the "a little bit irish" description-- it could lead to more diverse roles for jake, no?

winterbird said...

I thought Amanda was a lesbian!
And then... there's such thing as "Jakesexual", you go whichever orientation that leads you to Jake...

JoyceDavenport said...

Who else do those two remind you of? Me!! that's who>.

Now if only I looked like that in real life *sigh*

Elle said...

When I first read this report (without knowing what Mandy D looked like, only her age) I had two instantly conflicting reactions!

1. How dare some random old tart make eyes at Jake? She probably terrifed him to death coming on so strong and spooky, that's why he was tongue-tied. (Or being the polite, well-mannered lad we know and love, he was just biting back all kinds of snarky putdowns).

OR

2. Woo hoo, Jake likes older women in their forties!! I am SO in!!! :-)

Confused and conflicted,
Elle

The Bearded Lady said...

Brit ,
Which of the three photos is this Amanda Donohoe?

smurfette said...

news flash for to boston-area folks: gyllendaddy is having a reading at the vineyard this saturday. can we dispatch any JW agents?

http://cantarabooks.blogspot.com/2006/08/tobolowsky-gyllenhaal-cantaraville.html

razvanzlavog said...

oups! she is so... i cannot find a proper word but she is so... arogant. Jake, i swear!You don't have to do this if you don't want to!

wtbgirl said...

Wasn't this chica on LA Law - like 15 years ago?

smurfette said...

winterbird, any backing to that rumor? (or is it rumour cuz she's british :)?)

Anonymous said...

I think it's the wrong Amanda.

Marie said...

Wow, she's quite full of herself, isnt' she?

Anonymous said...

Yes, she is.

Anneka said...

I'd never kick anyone out of bed for eating biscuits. Unless they were dog biscuits.

JoyceDavenport said...

^^^What about Boo- if he was snuggled up beside you in bed would you kick him out for eating dog biscuits- surely not!

phoebe said...

That dog is just too cute! LOL

And that Amanda-chick better keep her hands and eyes off our man! The nerve!

news flash for to boston-area folks: gyllendaddy is having a reading at the vineyard this saturday.

Aww, man! When is Gyllenpappa finally gonna get over her to Sweden with one of his readings?!

*waiting impatiently*

Kendra said...

Ellen Pompeo OWNS this woman Amanda Donohoe, btw it can be a tricky surname if we remove "Dono", forget it, I'm in a bood mood today.

JoyceDavenport said...

next time you meet Jake just tell him what a talented actor he is and LEAVE IT AT THAT.

Just like all of us would...

The Bearded Lady said...

Come on Brit give me a clue.
Does Amanda wag her tail when she's happy?

cina said...

I thought Amanda was a lesbian!

Apparently Jake is so hot he can turn a lesbian straight.
LOL!

Aww, man! When is Gyllenpappa finally gonna get over her to Sweden with one of his readings?!

*waiting impatiently*


Do I have to say that I totally second that?

That dog is just too cute!

And, well.... I second that too. LOL!

winterbird said...

winterbird, any backing to that rumor? (or is it rumour cuz she's british :)?)

Smurfette, I think the rumour was there because of the bi/gay role she played in LA Law back in the 80s. Also she's known for being outspoken over sexuality issues. And of course, being British helps the rumour :-P

britpopbaby said...

TBL, I'm 100% sure Amanda is the one in green. Help any?

there's such thing as "Jakesexual",

Ooo, Jakesexual Healing...

Anonymous said...

GO ON THE IRISH!!!(irish cailin here) droppin by.

But allow me clear something up for Jayne THERE AINT NO MEN IN IRELAND WHO LOOK LIKE JAKE I'LL TELL THAT AND I'LL TELL YA NO MORE!! ...ya can bet on stumblin upon wee frecklied leaprechauns or red blazin haired giants, even bearded morauders but no jake gyllenhaal ..oh be still me wee green irish heart! be jaysus and begorra Slan innis mo gullenhaalic cailini agus buachailli (thats gaelic for 'goodbye my gyllenhaalic boys and girls')Culture as well how amazing ;)

nice anonymous said...

I think that, in, calling Jake "Irish," she's trying (rather lamely) to describe his complexion, hair and eye-color: The fair skin, the rich chocolatey goodness of his hair, and his very blue eyes.

I, too, recall several Irish actors with that coloring. But there's also Elizabeth Taylor, who I believe is Jewish. I don't think the combination is uncommon among people of Jewish descent.

I think that several ethnic combinations could result in that particular coloring.

Smurfeyshmoo said...

I don't like her. And not just because she's after Jake, though that's reason enough. "I didn't get tongue-tied, but he did a bit!" Um, no, beeyotch. You sound horribly arrogant and SO unsuited for The Sex.

(Could possibly be just because she's after Jake.)

The Bearded Lady said...

Oh thanks dear,
that clears things up considerably.

Anonymous said...

well you gotta give it up cause Irelands have produced a few hotties you can forgive her the resemblance...lets ee Pierce Brosnan, GAriel Byrne, Colin Farrell, Killian Murphy, Jonathan Reyes Myers, Liam Neelson, Aidan Quinn eh...i've run out thats about it but hey we got U2 and thats gives up another extra few hundred points..what this relevance has to to do with J.G i've lost my train of thought anyway GO ON U BOYS IN GREEN..gyllenhaalic from Dublin

britpopbaby said...

I've been told I 'look Irish' and I never got it at the time so maybe it's why I'm confused. Irish-looking just isn't a term I'd use to describe Jake.

The Bearded Lady said...

Oh dear I'm confused again... does Amanda have a cute little nose?

Prophecy Girl said...

I never would peg Jake as Irish. My experiences with Irish men were always accompanied by shaved heads, track suits, and pimped out mini's (scobes!). I get told I look Irish all the time, too, but a) I have red hair and b) only Americans tell me this (Europeans seem to know better). I think this was just a lame pick-up line that went horribly wrong.

gin said...

i don't think she's that attractive, personally. and that comment is not fueled by jealousy. i promise. hey, jakey, my name's amanda, too, and i'm much cuter. (sorry, donohoe...wow, the temptation to make a last name joke is really overwhelming.)

nice anonymous said...

Amateur ethnography is a very hazardous past-time. It's easy to give offense.

Just say he's extremely handsome and charming, and leave it at that.

The Bearded Lady said...

Does Amanda pant when overheated?

only1annabel said...

Never did like that old Donohoe bird! As if Jake would go for her...in her dreams!
I do like young Ellen Pompeo tho she was cool in Moonlight Mile and I love Grey's Anatomy! Don't think they look alike tho.

dottieb said...

Elizabeth Taylor converted to Judaism, I believe when she married Mike Todd.

wtbgirl said...

Wilson the Volleyball from the OTHER Castaway movie (the one with Tom Hanks) has a more appealing personality than this arrogant ninny.

The Bearded Lady said...

Would Ms.Donohoe dance around in a small circles in anticipation of getting a biscuit?

mrs_dalloway said...

That pic with the Irish dog is HILARIOUS!!I can't stop laughing! Jake sure does NOT look like that. Boo,maybe,if you get him dressed up and put a mask on its face. But Jake? come on Amanda Banda!

britpopbaby said...

I have no idea, TBL. Try it if you ever meet her.

msdonniedarko said...

oh my i hate it when when women talk to jake!!! tbl your so funny i think she may pant when shes hot!!!

The Bearded Lady said...

Well the not knowing was driving me mad.
So I did a Google image search on her.
Let me say it was a real eye opener.

msdonniedarko said...

i love that irish dog bpb!!! so funny

Nothing Really Matters said...

Are you watching Bad Girls tonight?? Someone will die!

britpopbaby said...

Who?
Amanda Donohoe?

mpom said...

I have to say to anonymous who is bashing Irish Guys. "Sorry How Wrong You Are."
http://s86.photobucket.com/albums/k85/mpom/?action=view¤t=DSC00008b.jpg&refPage=&imgAnch=imgAnch5
This is Brian my Irish (from Ireland) son-in law with my daughter. We think he's a dish.

The Bearded Lady said...

Yes,
Ms. Amanda Donohoe.
The photos I saw were not what I'd call fashion photoshoots.
Because there was no fashion was involved,let me put it that way.

Becky said...

That lady needs to leave Jake alone! What an old harlot! Jake's a lot of things, but we don't need her turning him into another Ashton Kutcher!

smurfette said...

tbl-- what was so eye opening? heh, i don't do google image searches cuz i'm too scared of the lewd things that sometimes pop up

nice anonymous said...

O.K., I just did a lot of Googling of Elizabeth Taylor: "Although born in England, her parents were actually Americans who were just working in England. Her mother was of German descent and her dad was of Scots-Irish descent."

So several ethnic backgrounds or nationalities could result in a person with fair skin, dark brown hair and striking blue eyes.

Maybe this ... female ... just has a thing for Irishmen, and it's her ultimate accolade & compliment for any guy whom she finds good-looking?

The Bearded Lady said...

Smurfette?
Let's say i've come to appreciate that she has a couple of qualities to admire.

mpom said...

As for Amanda. She's old enough to be his mother however, could we really blame her for trying?

Just can't see him being interested. But then sometimes young men like to sow those wild oats on the senior citizen lawn, so to speak.

cina said...

^^ LOLOL!!

ilovelost said...

I love Amanda Donohoe. If the boy is to be sexed up by a fabulous olde woman, let it be her.

ilovelost said...

*older

Nothing Really Matters said...

Natalie Buxton i think!

Bitka said...

Hmmm, something in me wants to call BS. Seems like she's using his name to get her own in print.

mpom said...

Although Amanda would probably NOT be my first choice for our Jake's Senior Citizen outing, I have to confess if I were twenty years younger and found myself in her designer loafers I would definately flirt my a-- off, and, if he in any way, shy or otherwise hinted, my answer would be, in the words of Jack Twist, "You bet."

Interesting. Who then would BE my first choice.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Guys i did post over at the board but just so you know. Miffed is alive and well!

Prophecy Girl said...

Hooray!!! We've missed her so much! I was starting to get a little worried.

Muffin said...

That lady needs to leave Jake alone! What an old harlot!

Yes!! Hands off....Leave him to the old harlots here!!

I'm happy that she's spreading the Jake love.

smurfette said...

no wonder this lady's all over jake-- he's just been voted sexiest "Rising Male Star" and "Sexiest Star Siblings" with maggie.

i know most of these lists are bs (saw on E! last night that justin timberlake was ranked #1 hottest 20something guy, and jake was 5th or something!)- but since this is an instyle poll, i’ll give it a little more weight. besides, i love rachel mcadams and she got the female equivalent of jake's title, so at least this set of voters have pretty good taste! hey, didn’t the two of them also win rising male star and rising female star at some other awards? i want to say hollywood film awards…?

moonbeams said...

Interesting. All her name needs is a couple of hyphens. Jake's a smart lad. He'll get the message: "Do-No-Hoe"

Anonymous said...

I remember her on LA Law in the 80's. She played an attorney who kissed a woman and it was suppose such a shocking moment on TV. If this is true, I take solace in the fact that she is only 2 years older then I and if she has a shot I would because I'm much better looking and have recently been carded for a glass of wine in a restaurant. (I told the waitress I loved her LOL).

If he's going to go British he needs to be with Kate Winslet immediately!!!

SquallCloud said...

She was probably on him like that skeezah Catherine Keener. Jake seemed overwhelmed but that was because someone old enough to be him mum was slobbering all over him. He was oh so adorable in L&A though gotta give him that but Keener needs to realize that THE KISSES ENDED THEN. She can't keep jumping on his back like she did all award season.

bubblegirl said...

I like that he thinks old ladies are sexy. Gives me hope!

SquallCloud said...

Everyone tries to claim Jakey. "He looks Irish!" "His mother is a Jew so he is too!" " Jake looks Black!" It's all because we love him so.

Also Jonathan Rhys Meyers and Colin Ferrell are minty sexual goodness. They're no Jake ... but they do have their charms.

What the hell is Jarad Leto?

wtbgirl said...

Wasn't Catherine Keener married, for like, forever (in Hollywood standards anyway) to Derlmot Mulroney? Clearly she likes the handsome dark-haired men. I don't blame her.

Anonymous said...

BPB was being nice with the picture. I direct your attention here for something more accurate:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/
39240000/jpg/_39240124_donohoe.jpg

I think she needs to lay off the booze or whatever it is that keeps her in a state of such obvious dillusion. Emphasis on HOE.

Anonymous said...

Squallcloud said:

"Everyone tries to claim Jakey. "He looks Irish!" "His mother is a Jew so he is too!" " Jake looks Black!" It's all because we love him so."

I agree but they are essentially very possessive which is what I don't like. For instance, I haven't read anywhere where he's said I'm half Jewish. I get the feeling that Jake isn't terribly fond of labels. I think we should let him decide who he wants to be.

Anonymous said...

A lot of people have that contrasty coloring, but my family happens to be Scottish/English and we have that too - dark hair, fair skin and green/blue/grey eyes. So who knows?

dani said...

I have no problem with Jake being with an older woman if he fancies. He has had amazing chemistry with every "mature' woman he has worked with so far. Just let him do the choosing and find someone with a bit more class and less desperation. The actions of this Amanda person would be a turn off whether she was young or old. Jake is sensitive and more afraid than flattered when women throw themselves at him. If she really does want him she would have earned a lot more points by just telling him - as others have said - how talented he is and how much she admires his work.

Anonymous said...

"I have no problem with Jake being with an older woman if he fancies."

I don't have a problem with it either; in fact I think it's interesting. People should be with whoever they enjoy being with and makes them happy; never mind convention. Older men have been dating younger women forever, so why can't a younger man date an older woman?

Anonymous said...

I saw her on Bad Girls tonight and she is rough.Really old looking.Could put ten years on her and she has baggy eyes and no lips.Urgh!
The age doesn't bother me.Whatever turns Jake on.But she is not attractive.That story with him being tongue tied is ridiculous!

SquallCloud said...

anon 4:25. That pic of her will give me nightmares.

wtbgirl said...

I agree, I'm all for older woman-younger man relationships, I just didn't like Ms. Donohoe's comments -they came across as arrogant and totally self-serving, and likely total BS.

Elle said...

If she really does want him she would have earned a lot more points by just telling him - as others have said - how talented he is and how much she admires his work.

I don't think this would really 'score points' at all. I have always wondered what I would say to Jake (or to any other celebrity for that matter) in the happy event that I actually DID have a face-to-face encounter with him? I mean, EVERYONE says to a movie star 'you're so talented, I love your work'. Where's the originality in that? He's heard it a hundred thousand times from a hundred thousand fans. Not that its not true, of course, but its so ... me-too ish. If I met Jake, I'd want to be able to say something that I not only really meant, but which would stand out from the crowd.

Ah well, I can but dream ...

Elle said...

I agree, I'm all for older woman-younger man relationships, I just didn't like Ms. Donohoe's comments -they came across as arrogant and totally self-serving, and likely total BS.

Totally agree, wtbgirl!

Anonymous said...

For instance, I haven't read anywhere where he's said I'm half Jewish. I get the feeling that Jake isn't terribly fond of labels.

In the MM commentary with Dustin Hoffman, doesn't he refer to himself as "half-gentile?" I don't remember the context but thought it was a nifty way of turning on its head the "you label the part of your background that makes you not-a-WASP" conceptualization of ethnicity and race that is still predominant.

Anonymous said...

Heh, I agree. The contact news thing made it sound like it was Jake who admitted to being interested and spellbound by this woman but it was really all her saying it which frankly just ends up making her sound stuck-up IMO.

kokodee said...

mpom, what a dish you've got there.
And I think the anonymous gyllenhaalic from dublin already stated the case for gorgeous Irish men.
The simply rock!

In the MM commentary with Dustin Hoffman, doesn't he refer to himself as "half-gentile?"
Yep, he does. The director says something about him (jake) being a gentile in a traditional jewish school, and jake corrects him with 'half-gentile'

nice anonymous said...

I'd think that Jake has had many such interactions & has probably developed a sort of sensitivity now that tells him when people are a little too into him on too short an acquaintance.

Through the encounter, he was probably thinking, "Oh, no, this woman is getting weird on me. Maybe she's a little drunk? I shouldn't have stolen that quick glance down the front of her dress. But is it my fault when these women wear gowns cut down to there? Christ, it's been months. Months and months .... Oh, no -- now, is she going to touch me or start hanging on me, and if she does, is that going to get photographed? And what will BritPopBaby say about this little incident on JakeWatch? Jeez, I wish I knew how to quit this business. I'd just bike half the day, like Lance when he's in training, meditate a lot, play with the dogs, read, do carpentry & cook these really elaborate meals for all my friends. Damn, I wish I'd get offered a good part ... [Sigh] Wonder when this woman is going to stop touching me & breathing into my face."

Anonymous said...

Yep, he does. The director says something about him (jake) being a gentile in a traditional jewish school, and jake corrects him with 'half-gentile'

That's interesting because I remember several debates on various boards on what Jake considers himself. Some have said that because Jewish people tend to feel that fathers don't matter and if your mom is Jewish, it means you're completely Jewish. But I think that some people fail to consider that not everyone who has Jewish ancestors feel this way. Especially in this "mutt" culture of ours here in America where many of us have a variety of ethnicities in us. So I find it interesting that he specifically says "half" implying that he doesn't go the traditional way of thinking.

Anonymous said...

There are a lot of Irish people who have a similar look to Jake. I have a lot of family still in Scotland and Ireland and I've visited them about 4 times in my life (once just last winter). Many in the areas that I spent time in have lighter skin, dark hair, and either big blue or green eyes. So I can see the comparison.

Anonymous said...

jake: WHAT THE HELL ARE U THINKING!
EHHH... I MEAN... ARE YOU ALMOST THINKING????
JAJAJAA

dani said...

Elle...I didn't say that I knew of something original to say to Jake. I wouldn't know what to say if he popped up right in front of me. All I would want to do is be respectful. So if - when you meet him - you come up with the one thing he has never heard, let us know,

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Ms. Donahoe means Jake is Irish looking in the artistic sense - the earthy and ruggedly handsome poet. I think Jake's beard makes him look that way. Stereotype, I know, but a nice one. ;-)

Anonymous said...

Ahhhhh, leave poor Ms Amanda Donohoe alone you guys. She is absolutely gorgeous and a very good actress. Here in England she has many a fan and she is absolutely fabulous in Bad Girls. You may be pleased to know that she is into women.... maybe more than men.She is a confessed bisexual and feminist. As one of her female admirers, I'd rather her eat biscuits in my bed, than let Jake eat them in hers!!!!!! ...and maybe she would rather be in my bed truly than his. You know these stars say anything to the press! AMANDA DONOHOE is a darlingxxxxx Beautiful,talented and absolutley gorgeous, even being 44.