Wednesday, August 23, 2006

THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW REVIEW CONTINUED AND CONTRIVED

First of all, any slow members of the class might want to catch up with Part 1. Secondly, I take absolutely no responsibility for Austin Nichols's pseudonym in the following passages. Please address all hate mail to anneka@jakewatch.com.
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We’re at the school quiz. Jake proves he is the smartest one, despite Son of Howard wearing specs, as he answers some random question and looks suitably smug. Emmy is distracted from Jake’s cleverness by some much less attractive git across the room. Maybe she should borrow Son of Howard’s specs. Jake is terrified by ugly git scamming on his chick.

Quiz is over, now we’re getting down. Emmy brought a sexy dress, just in case Jake was distracted by all the other nerds in their school uniforms. Jake says she looks beautiful. And I agree. Man, if I wasn’t waiting for Jake, I’d give you my heart Emmy. However, she is not very impressed with Jake’s compliment as she decides to go off with Ugly Git who has the world’s ‘coolest’ name – JD – leaving Jake behind to pretend he’s a cup-holder. If you want my advice Jake, if she should get herself in some kind of predicament, say she’s helping some French people out of taxi while a giant wave is coming towards her, LEAVE HER BEHIND!!! Son of Howard says Jake seems to have competition in the form of Ugly Git. Maybe SOH needs to borrow SOH’s glasses. Wait…

At DQ’s place, it’s thundery and the phone is ringing. It’s Bilbo calling from Scotland. He explains about the cold buoys and DQ panics that a new ice age is coming within the next half an hour. Hope Jake remembered to take his skis. Hope that’s how you spell skis.

Two peeps in LA are getting it on instead of monitoring the weather. In a disaster movie about killer weather. If they die, Darwin wrote the script. The Non-weather-monitoring-guy leaves to answer the phone and talks to a man observing Tokyo-style falling ice on the beach. As we watch, a tornado forms over LA. Man, when it’s not tornados in that town its volcanoes.

Back in Washington, DQ, his boss, New Guy and a pretty Asian lady are talking about doing computer models on Bilbo’s buoys in order to do a forecast. All you need for that, guys is a green screen and a button to change the pictures.

LA, always a city for going over the top, now has about eight tornadoes, one of which takes out the Hollywood sign. Where are all the tourists going to have their picture taken now? Oh that’s right, at the fake Hollywood sign at Universal Pictures. Some dick on the news asks if anyone in the midst of these eight tornadoes is hurt. Where did you go to journalism school? Cars rain down on a news van, a guy in a Porsche is crushed by a bus. Do YOU think people got hurt?

Cut to Jake and the Super-Nerds watching Porsche-crushing on the news. Jake’s wearing a sexy grey t-shirt despite the disaster surrounding him. Gotta look good when they dig you out of that rubble. Back to tornado central where the room is a rocking, and not because the non-weather monitoring people have gone back to woohoo. Non-weather-monitoring-guy opens the blinds. Oh, now you wanna see what the weather is doing? There’s a crash and when the floor-buffer-er goes to see the fate of our canoodling couple, the entire room has been blown away. Darwin, please collect your Oscar™ for Best Screenplay.

Cut to Vice Prez filling in Real Prez. Note: not an innuendo, they are not having sex. Real Prez is obviously modelled after Real World Leaders as he immediately asks someone else what he should do.

Cut to Super-Nerds and Jake. SOH has been on the phone to his Mum, probably crying that the other nerds are picking on him. That’s what I used to do anyway. He changes the TV channel, much to everyone’s disappointment until they realise CSI is on. Just kidding, but is it me, or is it always on? It’s news about planes being grounded so they have to stay put. That’ll give Jake more time to do the deed with Emmy. Or SOH. No, we decided it was girls.

Back to DQ’s office where his boss says there’s lots of work to do. No shit Sherlock, half of LA just got hoovered up, along with your two best weather monitors there. All the clever weather peeps at DQ’s place are bitching about how the weird weather couldn’t possibly be connected. Man, I need to get me a job there – OF COURSE IT IS! Before I can get me an interview, DQ explains his theory about there being too much water in the sea. The rest of the movie documents how DQ got into rehab for glue-sniffing. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SENTENCE IS THAT!?! Hang on – “We’ve just hit a critical desalinisation point.” Holy shit! Isn’t that one of the signs of the apocalypse, along with the Ron from Harry Potter making films with the word ‘pants’ in the title?

DQ and the gang adopt Pretty Asian Lady to help make weather forecasts with help from Bilbo. New Guy Who Destroys Antarctic Shelves tries to chat up Pretty Asian Lady with a handshake. Old Guy Who Croaks Before The End smacks him upside the head. Man, if I weren’t waiting for Jake, and you weren’t going to die before the end, I’d give you my heart Old Guy Who Croaks Before The End.

Cut to Movie Mom who is predictably a doctor. She’s looking after a small bald child called Peter who cannot read. But he won’t be able to enjoy the Da Vinci Code! Not that many people did. (Note: I have recently been informed that Peter cannot read because he has a tumour on his brain. Whoops, my bad!)

Back to DQ and Friends who are fiddling with computers - www.jakewatch.com, ladies and gents. Old Guy Who Croaks Before The End tells us DQ is the only one who hasn’t taken a break. None of you lazy bastards should be taking a break. The world’s coming to an end, Jake’s in mortal peril and you lot are round the bloody water cooler chatting about Brangelina? DQ ignores my rant and goes for a nap. Don’t be surprised if you wake up under water then. Pretty Asian Lady asks if he’s always this obsessive. What, about napping? She asks how long the gang have been together and New Guy explains in a way that is supposed to be funny that he is New Guy and the Old Guy Who Croaks Before The End is the Old Guy Who Croaks Before The End. However, not funny.

A second later, though we’re meant to believe it’s hours later – secrets of the business people – they go down to wake up DQ. He is obviously upset by the results. Turns out he’s not Jake’s Dad. Oh sorry, wrong results. DQ says 6-8 months can’t be right. There is a flash of lightening as Pretty Asian Lady says “No Dumbass, that’s in weeks. Learn to read.”

It’s raining like crazy in New York. Jake’s on the phone to DQ telling him the school is full of sewage. There’s a pleasant image. Hands up who still would if Jake was covered in sewage? DQ asks Jake where he’s staying tonight. Little perspective DQ, world ending and all that jazz. Jake’s staying with the New York branch of the Super-Nerds. Oooh, they can stay up, discussing which Nobel Prize they want to win when they grow up – it’ll be just like Chemistry camp except less poison ivy. Jake watches Ugly Git chatting with Emmy as he complains about the stench of the sewage. Little perspective Jake, world ending and all that jazz. Jake says he’ll take the train. Jake, if the trains don’t run ’cos there are leaves on the track, I don’t think they’ll be running in a flood. But what do I know, try your luck. Jake goes to meet his gang to discover that Ugly Git – momentarily promoted to Ugly Sneering Git will be providing their accommodation. Jake looks less than pleased. He was probably hoping to get in a sleeping bag with Emmy. I know I was. Hoping he would that is, not me. Phew, think I got away with that.
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Tune in quite damn soon for Part 3 of this most epic review.

149 comments:

JoyceDavenport said...

LMAO Anneka- you should have been a script editor or something on the movie- its dumb quota would have dropped by a lot!

smurfette said...

yes! was eagerly awaiting this! [off to read]

Muffin said...

I love you Anneka......well I like you a lot anyways! Ugly Sneering Git..priceless!!

Nothing Really Matters said...

LOL Anneka. Its like i'm watching the film right in front of me!

smurfette said...

Jake’s wearing a sexy grey t-shirt despite the disaster surrounding him.

thanks for mentioning that—i’ve ALWAYS thought jake looks hottest in that scene

He changes the TV channel, much to everyone’s disappointment until they realise CSI is on. Just kidding, but is it me, or is it always on?

so it’s not a u.s. only thing, huh?

that Ugly Git – momentarily promoted to Ugly Sneering Git

haha, i have to say, austin looks pretty good sometimes (e.g. at the famous laker game), but mostly i think he just looks like a sneering not-that-pretty-pretty-boy-jerk… (ducks)

speaking of pseudonyms, why is emmy rossum the only cast member besides jake to get the honor of escaping your wrath? hmm, you’re not hiding your girl-crush very well!

Agnes said...

LOL!

He changes the TV channel, much to everyone’s disappointment until they realise CSI is on. Just kidding, but is it me, or is it always on? Yes it always on!

SquallCloud said...

This was even funnier than the first and that's saying a lot becaue the first part was funny as hell! Heee. I'm not offended about Austin's name in the film. I know that he and Sam share a love that will never grow old. Heee *nooch!*

Anneka's Alias said...

Yes Smurfette, I likes me a bit of Emmy Rossum. She's so cute. If I was to turn, it would probably be with her. Because Britpop made her totally platonic feelings for me very clear.

smurfette said...

yeah, she's cute in this movie. it doesn't hurt that she looks a little like a young angelina sometimes. wait-- i forget, but isn't that britpop's celebrity crush too? do i see a girl-crush trend here?

Kendra said...

Anneka, Emmy is mine ok?, you should work in "Jake Watch" the movie, what a witty review!

Prophecy Girl said...

^^^ I've been telling her that for months. But she never listens to me. I'm on the edge of my seat, Anneka! What will happen next?! OK, I know what will happen next, but it's more fun when you tell me. Also, I have no complaints about Austin's alias. Actually, I thought that was his real name. It's not? My bad.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if "Ugly Git" was done on purpose or not but I do find it unfortunate. Everyone's free to their opinions but I think Austin gets too much shit from people who direct their anger at him for the Jake/Austin rumors. I've seen so many people call him ugly, untalented, accusing him of only hanging out with Jake for the attention, etc. I just feel really bad for the guy.

Anonymous said...

I actually really liked Austin's character in this one. Do we ever find out if his brother is okay? Maybe I'll just pretend he is even if it's more likely the kid didn't make it. But anyway, I was impressed with how they handled Austin's character because they could've just made him the asshole guy who starts competing with Jake's character for the girl. But instead, they had Austin's character helping them all as best as he could and even telling Jake's character to go for it with the girl.

cina said...

Jake’s on the phone to DQ telling him the school is full of sewage.

Have you guys noticed a certain Kirsten Dunst behind Jake in that scene...? She was visiting Jake on the set that day and ended up in an uncredited cameo role.

Witty as always Anneka! *Impatiently waiting for part 3.*

britpopbaby said...

I don't know if "Ugly Git" was done on purpose or not but I do find it unfortunate.

Ah, I knew this would happen! Look what you did, Anneka! You got the anons speaking out. Trust me anon, Anneka just thinks Austin is unattractive in this role. Nothing deeper. I don't think she is even that aware of Jake/Austin because she lives in Wales. She has no anger. She has problems but not anger. So chill.

Girl Friday said...

Have you guys noticed a certain Kirsten Dunst behind Jake in that scene...?

The funny part was my Dunst sense picked it up before I even think I acutally knew that was her in that scene.

If only I could put that talent to good use.

smurfette said...

anon, i‘m sorry if austin gets crap sometimes for the jake rumors, but honestly, that’s not my reason for not feelin any love for him. i’ve always thought he was meh, even before i was aware of the rumors. in the same way, i’ve bashing kirsten way before i even knew who jake gyllenhaal was. so it’d be unfair to say i’m reacting like a fangirl. of course, i only speak for myself.

anyway, like you said, it’s just a matter of personal preference. i know there's a lot of austin love out there, and i admit both austin and kirsten have their moments, but i just don’t like them that much. and like britpop says, anneka was just giving us some anneka humor. i hope everyone can tell from her tone, and the general tone of this blog that there's no hate here-- just jake-love and general joking around.

cina, i didn't notice kiki until i listened to the dvd commentary either, but now i always see her!

winterbird said...

I am entitled to my own opinions, no? I find the name "ugly git" for Austin very unfair and inaccurate.

Nonetheless, it's still very funny to read.

Anonymous said...

Trust me anon, Anneka just thinks Austin is unattractive in this role. Nothing deeper. I don't think she is even that aware of Jake/Austin because she lives in Wales.

I'm just saying, given all that happened in just the last couple of weeks, that I find it unfortunate. (Though I don't know what living in Wales has to do with anything, if she has the internet, that means she has access to the information.)

smurfette said...

of COURSE everyone's entitled to their opinions! the review is just anneka's, and anyway, we're not supposed to take it seriously! i'm pretty sure son of howard is pretty unfair and inaccurate too!

Though I don't know what living in Wales has to do with anything, if she has the internet, that means she has access to the information.)

britpop's comment was a joke, an attempt to lighten the situation by redirecting attention to anneka and "her problems". get it?

smurfette said...

given all that happened in just the last couple of weeks

wait a sec, what are you talking about?

kokodee said...

Pray what is this banner everyone's raving about?
I fear I see nothing on my screen, not even future sex prince aka yellow frog.

Haha lovin' the review,and the inevitable fallout from 'ugly git'.
Guaranteed to bring out the anonymous lurking out.

smurfette said...

kokodee, how were you able to acquire such a kickass new avatar if you can not see the banner? think TBL's pussy would approve of your kitty?

SquallCloud said...

The banner is of big boobied cartoon girlies. Looks like Danger Girls I think. Umm Austin is cute in profile and really as long as your cute in profile it's all good! Anon 10:46 I totally agree with you. In fact I was so surprised that people dis this movie so. They did defy that convention and they took some risks and it was interesting for a big budget CGI fest. Plus it had The Sex in his first big role.

Anonymous said...

Christ almighty, why do folks think that any mention of Austin Nichols is immeadiately a vicious attack. Get some perspective - the whole world does not revolve around Jaustin rumors. Lighten up. That was one funny ass synopsis.

britpopbaby said...

Looks like Danger Girls I think.

Sssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You'll give our alter egos away!

And yeah, I was enlightened to see Austin's character turn out the way it did. I thought he'd be on Jake's ass the whole time.

Anonymous said...

Guaranteed to bring out the anonymous lurking out.

FYI, I may be anonymous but I've hardly been lurking. I've gotten involved with many conversations and usually comment a few times under nearly every subject so don't assume things just because someone is anonymous and doesn't care for picking on Austin, even if it's done in jokes. Personally I don't like picking on anyone who is seemingly friends with Jake because I feel that if he DOES happen to ever stop by these boards, it's not fun to read mean things said about friends and family. (Not saying I think Jake reads these boards, but there's always the chance and while freedom of speech and expressing your opinions are fine, I don't see any real reason to insult people.)

kokodee said...

Ah, thanks squallcloud for that vision.
Thanks smurfette, but the combo of villan and pussy was made during the 'bond' era, and maybe its time for me to embrace something entirely wholesome: I'm thinking a cherub with an afro to rival squall's, we need an antithesis to big-boobies, no?

Linna said...

Anneka, you're bleadin' hilarious!! LMAO through the whole thing! Can't wait for part 3!!

kokodee said...

FYI, I may be anonymous but I've hardly been lurking. I've gotten involved with many conversations and usually comment a few times under nearly every subject so don't assume things just because someone is anonymous and doesn't care for picking on Austin, even if it's done in jokes.

My bad!
Since you do comment a lot, may I suggest a face to your comments?
How about joining me as the in-house villan?

Anonymous said...

FYI, I may be anonymous but I've hardly been lurking. I've gotten involved with many conversations and usually comment a few times under nearly every subject so don't assume things just because someone is anonymous and doesn't care for picking on Austin, even if it's done in jokes.


Perhaps you should head over to WFT, where the Austin love is abundant. WFT has really upped the ante.

Smurfeyshmoo said...

Ahhh Anneka! You have me in stitches everytime you open your mouth! (Everytime you move your fingers??) I never understood how Austin/Ugly Git (or anyone, really) was competition for Jake. I mean, that chick must've been blind or stupid or both, because she had JAKE doting on her. I mean...Jake Gyllenhaal or anyone else on the planet? Not real tough.

cina said...

I thought the JW/WFT-issue was over and done by now.... *sigh*

Anonymous said...

The banner is of big boobied cartoon girlies. Looks like Danger Girls I think

That's all good but where do the boys fit into all this?
I love your blog brit, but I wish you would make us feel more welcome here. The screaming girls thing gets a bit too much at times.

Muffin said...

I don't think she is even that aware of Jake/Austin because she lives in Wales.

I don't know what living in Wales has to do with anything, if she has the internet, that means she has access to the information.

Have you ever been to Wales, Anon?

cina said...

The screaming girls thing gets a bit too much at times.

I'm sorry??

Anonymous said...

I love your blog brit, but I wish you would make us feel more welcome here. The screaming girls thing gets a bit too much at times.


well in true Bond tradition aren't the only vacancies for anonymous henchmen or mad (and doomed) villians? Unless you want to jump into drag.....

1:02 said...

Cina I'm not trying to start anything, I'm just directing the poster to a blog more Austin friendly. I was just expressing how I like the direction it's going in. We are free to speak as we please right? As long as it's not offensive.

kokodee said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
kokodee said...

well in true Bond tradition aren't the only vacancies for anonymous henchmen or mad (and doomed) villians? Unless you want to jump into drag
Lol! That would be a sight for sore eyes, indeed.

Kendra said...

That's all good but where do the boys fit into all this?


Here, in Jake Watch, the boys are mere sex toys ours, lol.

cina said...

If Anneka's " ugly sneering git" is what you are referring to when you say "the direction it's going in" I have to say you're overreacting imo. We are not Austin unfriendly here at all. It is a JOKE. And I didn't realize you were talking about that when you were wondering where the boys fit in here among the cartoon girlies. Where does Austin come in all of the sudden?

smurfette said...

boy anon, i see you point. it'd be nice to see more than a few girls on the banner. i think others have asked that other ethnicities be represented as well. and there's nothing wrong with adding a few villains if that's the only way to keep the theme and have males in the mix, kokodee's avatar is a villain and it's great!

that said, i don't appreciate the "screaming girls" indictment. we're witty, philosphical, at-times intellectual too! much like jake :)

Anonymous said...

cina, i think you are confusing me with anon 1.02 and 1.13.
I have no problem whatsoever with austin or the blog in general. Just that as a guy, I feel a little left out with the themes of bond girls and big cartoon boobs.
In reference to kokodee's earlier post about lurking anonymous posters I think one of the reason's is we feel out of place.
I honestly don't mean to cause offense but I was just staing my very humble opinion.

cina said...

Please forgive me anon 1:36! It does get confusing with all anon posters. Once again I'm sorry!

cina said...

And I do get your point. :-)

muffin said...

Sorry you feel out of place her anon but have you ever read Brits "mission satement"?

It's not a general jake fan site...it's Britpop's personal blog....it's just grown out of all proportion alomg with her plans for world domination.

The gals who contribute to the Blog (not the folks who leave comments) are all boobilicious gals who have made it their goal to track down the Sex and more than likely have their way with him in true Bond girl fashion.

With this blog, what's on the lable is what you get in the can....

kokodee said...

I hear ya boy anon. Even though im female (i think) I have a certain aversion to overt femininity (lets just say I ain't girly girly). Hence my rather ambigious avatar, complete with fierce pussy.
Do try and hook-up with a villan or at least just a name like smurfette/muffin do. Its always nice to be able to put a name to a comment you know.

britpopbaby said...

That's all good but where do the boys fit into all this?
I love your blog brit, but I wish you would make us feel more welcome here. The screaming girls thing gets a bit too much at times.


The girls on the banner represent me, prophecygirl and anneka. Sorry, but we all happen to be female and white.

If you want to be represented here than get yourself a name and an avator. You obv that ain't that bothered if you're happy posting as 'anonymous'.

I honestly don't think this comment is genuine so I won't go on and on.

smurfette said...

boy anon (hope you don't mind this alias), i agree with the others--the estrogen overload you're sensing prolly comes from the fact that the 3 authors are girls (britpop, prophecy girl, now anneka). also the bond theme. i don't think they mean to exclude anyone-- it's just the tone of the blog.

it is a personal blog, but that said, all jake fans are welcome in to comment here. i'm sure there are other males out here? holla back! man, where's eugene when you need him!

britpopbaby said...

It's not a general jake fan site...it's Britpop's personal blog....

Thanks, muffin! I've tried to make myself more accessable by being less British, etc but at the end of the day I just want to write what I want and now PG and Anneka write what they want to write too, without politics getting involved!

Michael said...

To address a couple of people's points in one post:

Since you do comment a lot, may I suggest a face to your comments?

You mean like an icon or just a name? I admit the reason I stay anonymous is more just because it's the easiest button below to push when posting and I'm all for easy when it comes to online. (I'll throw a name on if that's better.)

Perhaps you should head over to WFT, where the Austin love is abundant. WFT has really upped the ante.

Actually I like to go to both of these sites. I don't know what I believe when it comes to Jake as I don't personally know the guy so I enjoy hitting up various places for different aspects of the fandom.

Have you ever been to Wales, Anon?

Yes, I have. I went to Wales, Scotland, Ireland, and England just last year for the summer (I have some family out there). I'm not sure what the point of your question was though...

I think one of the reason's is we feel out of place.

I'll have to agree with that since there are seemingly more women than men here. I don't think people do it on purpose but it does feel like that.

muffin said...

I've tried to make myself more accessable by being less British

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dear gawd no!!!!!!

That is exactly what make this blog the place to be.....just get a SOH detector installed on the main page and leave it at that....

boy_anon said...

why don't you think i'm genuine?
I respect its your personal blog and i do usually lurk more than i post, but i can see i've upset some people. sorry.

smurfette said...

man, i just noticed muffin's also converted to blogger! fine... i guess i've resisted long enough and i love this blog too much to stay on the fringe. britpop, you should get a commission from blogger!

and yes, you gals please keep writing what you want.

muffin said...

I take it you are not British then Michael?

If you were then the reference to Wales would not have missed the mark with you - call it the British sense of humour....

britpopbaby said...

I'll have to agree with that since there are seemingly more women than men here. I don't think people do it on purpose but it does feel like that.

What can be done? Honestly, any ideas? And I don't mean that in a threatening way - I'm genuinely asking. This place is supposed to be humourous - that is it's one and only aim. Yes there appears to be more woman than men but that's surely because there are more straight/bi women that fancy Jake then gay/bi men?

muffin said...

man, i just noticed muffin's also converted to blogger! fine

only cos even though I sign my posts as muffin (or at least I think I do) I often show up as anon....and dammit when I make a damn fine and amusing comment I want the credit for it!!

kokodee said...

I've tried to make myself more accessable by being less British

Lol! I've noticed that i use y'all and dude a little too much online.

You mean like an icon or just a name? I admit the reason I stay anonymous is more just because it's the easiest button below to push when posting and I'm all for easy when it comes to online. (I'll throw a name on if that's better.)

Nice to know you Michael. Its real easy to hook up with an avatar. Makes you memorable.

boy_anon, its also nice to meet you so to speak.

britpopbaby said...

why don't you think i'm genuine?
I respect its your personal blog and i do usually lurk more than i post, but i can see i've upset some people. sorry.


No worries. I apologise. It just stresses me out because I don't mean to offend or exclude anyone. I wanted JW to be the one happy place that ALL Jakes could visit and just have a good laugh.

britpopbaby said...

Lol! I've noticed that i use y'all and dude a little too much online.

Oh I use 'dude' all the time in real life! Ironically of course ;)

And the britpopbaby above was me, Blogger signed me out for some reason.

muffin said...

And the britpopbaby above was me, Blogger signed me out for some reason.

maybe blogger was feeling excluded... ;)

Kendra said...

I love your British acid touch, British humor is a little like Aragonese and catalan irony : Seny and Rauxa, seny signifies "common sense"; it means what Samuel Johnson meant by "bottom," an instinctive sense of order, in traditional Catalan terms it comes close to "natural wisdom" and Rauxa is a relief from seny that means "uncontrollable emotion, outburst" It applies to any kind of irrational or Dionysaic or (sometimes) just plain dumb activity- getting drunk, screwing around, burning churches, or disrupting the social concensusm, haha joking, the same Jake Watch.

Nothing Really Matters said...

Brits don't change a thing! It's your blog do what you like! I'm happy with my Pussy! You always come up with great idea and don't stop being british.

Why do people alwasy moan?

Prophecy Girl said...

Seriously. What happened with this post. I thought we were talking about The Day After Tomorrow.

Michael said...

I take it you are not British then Michael? If you were then the reference to Wales would not have missed the mark with you - call it the British sense of humour....

Nope, I'm American. I guess it did miss my mark which wouldn't be the first time. Not just the sense the humor which I didn't always get when I spent time out there but I also sometimes forget about the slang. I remember the first time I went to London when I was 16 and a guy asked me if I "had a fag" and I said yes because I thought that was just a different way of asking if you were gay and had a boyfriend. The guy got pissed when it turned out I didn't have a cigarette for him.

Nothing Really Matters said...

I loved The Day After Tomorrow. PG was it you who really liked it as well??

I'm sure lots of people did not really like this movie much! Or am i making that up!

muffin said...

Very funny, Michael....one language be damned...American English and the real thing ;) are very different deals.....tis a shame that you didn't get the joke about Wales but alas I fear I cannot explain it without risking the wrath of a few hundred thousand leek eaters and some sheep....but trust me, Brit was making a very valid point! ;)

Michael said...

What can be done? Honestly, any ideas? And I don't mean that in a threatening way - I'm genuinely asking. This place is supposed to be humourous - that is it's one and only aim.

Honestly I don't think there is anything you can really do. Not that comes to mind at the moment. I didn't say that to make you feel an obligation to help make it more inviting for the guys or anything. It's not even always the way it feels just once in awhile. At least for me anyway. No worries, you're doing a good job, it just happens sometimes.

Yes there appears to be more woman than men but that's surely because there are more straight/bi women that fancy Jake then gay/bi men?

There are a lot of us gay/bi fans out there, I just think a lot of them are more scattered than the straight/bi women may be. By that I mean, we have a lot of our own forums where Jake or other actors might be discussed. So many of his gay/bi fans might not think to come here or IHJ. I do know quite a few that lurk though (meaning they'll bring up something from here on a different board or else it's someone from my life offline who will bring it up).

boy_anon said...

Please don't stress out. I wouldn't have my fix of witty posts if you did.
I think my meaning may have been lost in translation. smurfette explanation of the trio of female writers, and why one may feel a little overwhelmed as a result puts it in perspective.
Of course it dosen't mean that you are delibrately shutting out anyone and my sincere apologies if it sounded that way.

Anonymous said...

No worries. I apologise. It just stresses me out because I don't mean to offend or exclude anyone. I wanted JW to be the one happy place that ALL Jakes could visit and just have a good laugh.

I think your nasty attitude makes a lot of people feel excluded. Calling it British humor is just a coput. You're very rude and inflexible, and I don't care if you like to hear it or not.

kokodee said...

Aww! you guys are such a sweet bunch.
*wipes tear* I'm touched,
brits/anneka/pg should be proud of their endaevours.

kokodee said...

I think your nasty attitude makes a lot of people feel excluded. Calling it British humor is just a coput. You're very rude and inflexible, and I don't care if you like to hear it or not.

See now boys? The need to standout? you never want to be caught up with the demented amongst us.

Prophecy Girl said...

NRM, I LOVE TDAT. I'm one of the few. I always enjoy a good disaster flick and God knows I'm interested in global warming! Plus, the peanut scene and an eerily accurate representation of our current inept administration...box office gold in my book! ;)

Anonymous said...

You know, "the people who comment" contribute to the popularity of this site, too.Lots of us lurk bcz of Jake and bcz it's often hilarious. But it is often rather puerile and high schoolish, too. And some of you are rather clique-ish, probably like you were in high school. Interesting premise: to control growth by being snobs.

muffin said...

the peanut scene is worth the price of the DVD on it's own...

Prophecy Girl said...

If I could weigh in on the whole screaming girl thing...that accusation has been directed at this blog from several arenas and in response, it's we overplay that aspect. We're bitchy like that. ;)

Prophecy Girl said...

There should have been a "possible" between "it's" and "we." Sorry!

Prophecy Girl said...

I was a nerd in high school. Just for the record.

kokodee said...

I was a nerd in high school. Just for the record.

Were you now? Would never have guessed.
*digs out photo evidence with son of howard-like glasses*

smurfette said...

You know, "the people who comment" contribute to the popularity of this site, too.Lots of us lurk bcz of Jake and bcz it's often hilarious. But it is often rather puerile and high schoolish, too. And some of you are rather clique-ish, probably like you were in high school. Interesting premise: to control growth by being snobs.

i'm confused, what are you saying? are we the "people who comment"? and so do we contribute to the popularity of this site because we're screaming girls/hilarious/witty? but then popularity is bad because it's clique-ish?

and man, how is anyone controlling growth by being snobs? brits has stressed herself out time and again trying to please as many people as possible when it's her blog. it's really unfair to criticize her if you don't get her humor. those who do, stay. that's not exclusion, that's just preference. i for one don't want this blog to lose its snarkiness/edge. and there is nothing wrong with lurking if you prefer that.

definitely a nice guy said...

Ok can I just weigh in as one of the anonymous men that enjoys this site as well as other gay/bi blogs like towleroad and pink is the new blog. I think a lot of us are being overtly critical of britpopbaby. writing a blog you can only write in your own perspective and that has nothing to do with being inflexible, rude or snobbish.
You wouldn't accuse andrew towle of being heterophobic for chosing to write from his perspective as a gay man? why would you begrudge britpopbaby, for writing as she choses?
With specific reference to anon 2:36 I think you are the one who needs to have a reality check. Your comment sadly says more about you than any indictment on the blog mistress.

Michael said...

Nice to know you Michael.

You too, Kokodee. While I have commented here awhile, I see how much easier it is to have a name down. ;)

Sorry that this seems to have opened up a huge thing. I honestly didn't mean for that to happen. I was just feeling bad for Austin lately (even though I don't personally know the guy).

On topic, I actually only first saw TDAT this summer when my boyfriend made me watch it. I like action movies but not usually disaster flicks. This one wasn't bad. I did like that J.D. and Sam didn't get into some lame fight over Laura (I didn't think that sounded right but IMDB says that was her name). And even though it wasn't in this part of the review, I really liked the hug between Sam and his dad at the end. It was very sweet and Jake made the perfect facial expression during the hug. (Not really a fan of Dennis Quaid though but Jake made it a cute scene.)

muffin said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
muffin said...

nice guy 3.15....in the words of David Cassidy....I think I love you!

smurfette said...

nice guy, and michael, welcome! and yeah, back on topic, though jake does (in my opinion) the least "acting" in TDAT, i will always have a place in my heart for it, since it introduced me to him, and man, didn't he just charm his way into your heart doing promos for his first big movie?

OT: speaking of edge, my avatar sux... where are those sexy smurfette pics when u need them?

kokodee said...

Lol, I can't wait to see anneka's description of the 'wolves' chasing the boys on screen.
Not jake's best movie by a long stretch, but when you are 'watching' it through the eyes of anneka suddenly there is this compulsion to see the entire damn thing again.

OT
kendra, wtf happened?????????

~DKBB~ said...

Anneka, your reviews are true genuis! What a total hoot!!!!

Kendra said...

Terrible news, I'm afraid I've deleted all my blog by mistake and it's impossible to recover it, since it was gratuite. Now I feel like shit.

phoebe said...

I thought the JW/WFT-issue was over and done by now.... *sigh*

I couldn't agree more, cina! I'm fed up with that whole thing.

Seriously. What happened with this post. I thought we were talking about The Day After Tomorrow.

Exactly my sentiments. Discussions are always good, but they sometimes tend to get wee bit hostile. And OT. With that being said, it's time for me to get back on topic:

Oh how I wish the actual movie was as great as this review (which it was so not, imho!). Brilliant Anneka! Frickin hysterical! Bring on part 3 real soon, will ya? :-D

muffin said...

f*ckity f*ck, Kendra!!!!!!

How in the Sam Hill did you manage to do that?

Prophecy Girl said...

Oh my God, Kendra, that's awful!! I'm so sorry!

phoebe said...

Terrible news, I'm afraid I've deleted all my blog by mistake and it's impossible to recover it, since it was gratuite. Now I feel like shit.

WTF? Your entire blog?!?! That's horrible!! I'm really sorry to hear that!

kokodee said...

*hugs*
aww! you poor schmock. don't worry. I'm sure all that experience of blogging means that the new jakeweird is gonna kick serious ass!

muffin said...

...and Phoebe's avatar is totally in context!

Kendra said...

I'm stupid and deserve to die, I suppose. Thanks, girls, I clicked the button to supress thinking it was another button. I am depressed.

phoebe said...

muffin, it really is! That was seriously the expression on my face when I read kendra's post!

You're not stupid, kendra, and you most definitely NOT deserve to die! It could've happened to anyone! Again, I'm so sorry!

muffin said...

Damn bad luck, Kendra. I hope you manage to pull it all together again cos Jake Weird was one of my daily stops.

Kendra said...

Thanks, Kokodee, Pg, Phoebe, Muffin... I like all of you, I loved receiving you in my little weirdland *crying while writting*

Girl Friday said...

I'm sorry to hear that Kendra, I loved Jake Weird. I hope everything works out for you and that you rebuild bigger and better than ever.

As for TDAT, I felt like the real star of this film was in fact the snow. Why they don't have Oscars for inanimate objects created by nature - I don't know. Someone should get to work on that.

Anonymous said...

This is US Weekly so of course take it with a HUGE grain of salt. But did you see the bit about Jake in his mom in this coming week's issue? They have a copy of it at IHJ:

http://iheartjake.suddenlaunch.com/index.cgi?board=gyllenhaalics&action=display&num=1156367049

Anonymous said...

er, of course I meant Jake AND his mom not Jake in his mom (ew).

dani said...

I saw the item in US about Jake And his mom. It gave me a chuckle - if it's true.

As for TDAT. When I first saw it, I only thought of Jake as a cute boy.
Then, of course I had to watch it again in a different light once I started liking Jake.

Now, I just fast forward to his scenes only. That way I am still loyal to Jake without having to watch the whole thing.

That part with the wolves still put's me on edge everytime- holding my breath like I think Jake might not get away from them. I, too, can't wait to see what Anneka has to say about it.

Her account so far has definitely been more entertaining than the actual movie. Great job!

nice anonymous said...

I go away for a week -- just seven days, mind you -- and Jake goes to NY while I am out of town & gets a tattoo & is possibly nagged at by his mom.

Moral of the story: One must ask to borrow one's host's computer in order to keep up with all the antics occurring on JakeWatch.

bubblegirl said...

I just want to say that I have been reading this blog for a few months..........I don't always post but I always make time to read it. This is because I think Jake is really sexy and this blog is really funny. I have learned from this blog more about Jake's family and Jake and enjoyed myself. I don't always post because I just can't think of clever funny things to say sometimes. When I have posted I have never felt stupid. With all that said I just want Britpopbaby to know that this blog is great. I am not British, I have never been anywhere and still I find this blog entertaining. That is its purpose. If anyone reads anything else in to it they need to relax. It is all in fun. I have a name I don't have a face and I don't know what WFT is or who Austin is. Can anyone tell me?

iheartbpb said...

Okay, I haven't been able to follow all of this discussion, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't tone down the britishness of this blog!! I'm from freakin' Kentucky, I'm sure a lot of it goes straight over my head (Wales? What??), but it's the comments about things that "sound shit" that make me laugh the loudest!

On a different note, I've only posted like twice before, and both times I've posted as anonymous, but only 'cause I'm shy...sorry...

Anonymous said...

Oh, I always thought a couple of the girls here are actually boys, no? Own up, boys.

SquallCloud said...

I feel bad about that gossip rag talking about Jake being nagged by his mom. That's far more personal than even who he might be shtuping. Having said that, "Awwwww!".

Also I'm very pleased that gossip about Jake is like him being nagged about his knees and his happiness by his mom and not ... ya know, doing lines of coke off some starletts ass.

pgcatz said...

Thank You anneka, I had nothing good to read and crap on TV. No Jake Movie. So reading your story has made my night. Britpop Your site is so cool. Thank You for allowing me to be part of the fun.. Hugs

SquallCloud said...

Because I always double post here's another thing. I'm kind of a psudo-Toothy and Brit and the gang have only been nice and kind to me and indulged me in my wild flights of fancy. It's all just unfounded rumors anyway. Have fun with it. Not that serious. I promise. Even when some jerk tries to hurt my tender feelings someone always stands up for me so there! Anyone who thinks this blog is Austin or even Jaustin phobic can put that in their pipe and smoke it. *growls*

Anonymous said...

BUBBLEGIRL,

I totally agree with what you said.

mpom said...

Jake’s wearing a sexy grey t-shirt despite the disaster surrounding him.

This is My favorite look for Jake. In this scene he seems to know how great he looks looking like he doesn't know how great he looks.

Does that make sense?

I love this blog. Interesting personalities.

mpom said...

Also I neglected to say how great Anneka's Review is. Wonderful commentary, a fresh slant on a flick we all saw and can now enjoy again. Can't wait for the next installment

cina said...

bubblegirl - WFT (Waiting For Toothy) is another blog that is about the possibility of Jake and Austin being a couple. Austin is a friend of Jake's, he's an actor and was in The Day After Tomorrow.

cina said...

Forgot to say that his full name is Austin Nichols.

britpopbaby said...

I guess we've created a little communtiy here and we know each other in that delgihtful 'internet-you-could-be-a-murdering-psychopath-but-you're-just-lovely-on-here' sort of way. We know that squall loves her slash, pg likes her politics, etc, etc. I know who the more mature women are, who the men are, who the Brits are, who the lawyers are. Sorry if that comes out as clique mentality but as Michael said, as soon as you give yourself something to for us to identitfy you by it makes it a lot easy.


And as to the person who called me rude, inflexible and nasty - FUCK YOU. K? Tnxbye.

KENDRA!!! How did you manage to delete Jake Weird?? Please set it back up - do you need any help?

britpopbaby said...

Sorry, my grammar and spelling is more screwed than usual today - I hope you can decipher the above message.

Kendra said...

Please set it back up - do you need any help?
I contacted to www.blogger.com assistance team, and they explained me I couldn't do anything to recover it through the dashboard, accidentally I pressed the button "delete blog" an I feel very upset. It was a creation out of work, patience and vanished in a second. Maybe you know any trick/alternative/advice to rescue it from the internet vacuum, I'd be very grateful, brits.

mrs_dalloway said...

Hahaha!Hilarios review, Anneka!!You should totally start a blog!I'd be curios what it would be about.Reviewing movies would be a hit!

Anneka's Alias said...

I'm not quite sure where to start.

Thanks for the love those who send love. Love is always appreciated. As is sticking up for me (thank you!). And Muffin, thanks for trying to explain about Wales. It's hard to put living in the Dark Ages into words I know.

People, the review is simply something to entertain you and to fill up the emptiness of my dull grey life. It is not to be taken too seriously or dissected for it's PC-ness. If you find Austin more attractive than Jake, even after borrowing SOH's glasses - see? I'm plugging my own review! - then you are entitled to your opinion. Bask in it, bathe in it, shove it down the throats of others and be joyful.

I'm sorry if Austin's term of endearment has appalled any of you. But I am merely voicing my opinion. BTW, I do not call him Ugly because people have questioned his sexuality. I call him Ugly because he is unnattractive to my eyes. And I wear glasses so do not need to borrow them.

And to the twerp who called Britpop nasty names, don't pick on people who haven't done anything wrong - that's how wars start. And she is very flexible. She does yoga.

And to get back to the subject matter, I like TDAT very much. True, it is fairly awful but I enjoy watching it and that's all that really matters.

And sorry about your techno problems Kendra.

Kendra said...

Thanks, Anneka... As you I don't find Austin specially attractive.

gummybug said...

Please do a Bubble Boy review, Anneka! For me. And for Jimmy.

The Bearded Lady said...

Up all night, looking at photo enlargements...five pages of Old English script...darkening ...
lighting....sharpening then unsharpening...
contrast/uncontrasting...
ugh!
All I know is T O
Look Jake honey dear, if your gonna send cryptic messages....at least don't wash them off! huh?
Miss Bearded Lady is cranky ,irritable, ADD suffering, impatient old woman....
If it requires the FBI,CSI and the IRS to understand you honey then forget it.
The book with the matching sneekers was fine....although I wish you had the cover facing out...I won't quibble over that...*heavy sigh*

Speaking of impatient...
Did someone call me a bitch?

Bring it on!
(squats into a knife wielding stance)
....you won't need psychoanalysis, crystals, Buddha or rebirthing!...

I'll size you up in a few lines...and it won't require years of insight to decipher too....trust me! ;)

JoyceDavenport said...

Hey Kendra really sorry to hear about your blog. *hugs*

To anon 8.43 NRM aka 'Pussy' is a boy. So is Simon obviously. We have a few boys on the forum who are very active posters (is that the word- is it a word?)and are lots of fun and a really active and beloved part of the community.

Brits: I know who the lawyers are

Picked up on that the last couple of days- girl friday and wbtgirl?
Who says we are a bunch of fangirls.

Squall- coke off some starlets ass-the vision that gave me was just hilarious- can you imagine our lovable dorky Jake up to such antics? No me neither.

Muffin- just as well it wasn't 'Scottish' jokes eh?

Michael and all boys- delurked or otherwise come and play- we don't bite- well apart from Brits and Squall ;)

JoyceDavenport said...

..oooh- and our Bearded Lady- never seen her fangs before tho'!

The Bearded Lady said...

Joyce...I thought a good lawyer knew when best not to answer questions?

britpopbaby said...

Anneka is slightly blind when it comes to men and their sexual attraction. When I had a crush on Jack White she told me I was crazy for loving that pasty ball of grease.

JoyceDavenport said...

TBL- Lawyer's motto- never ask a question you don't know the answer to ;)

cina said...

TBL, I was wondering where you were! I missed your wonderful comments! :-)

winterbird said...

When I had a crush on Jack White she told me I was crazy for loving that pasty ball of grease.

I disagree with her over the charm of Austin, but I have to say, Anneka has a point there about Jack White... :-P

The Bearded Lady said...

Yes Joyce,
...but sometimes it in your clients interest not to respond to questions you do know the answer to.

Kendra ...dearest what is going on with you honey?
For months I've watched your spaceship hover and pick up that yellow ball of trash...
Great. Score one for the anti-littering camp.
I've gone from thinking you odd and absentminded to a intellectual genius...back to absentminded...
Drop the bong...and
Rip a new page, forget the past....start a new!
"Snakes on a Plane"...is a gift to all blogdom...don't look a gift horse in the mouth...seize the day!

Hello Cina,
Stop tattooing ,piercing whatever your doing to your beautiful body this minute!
(I do miss the blonde)

Brit,
Butch it up a bit...put a jockstrap on ...chew tobacco...talk sports...scratch yourself in inappropriate places.

NRM...about time to clear up your identity crisis be a pussy and be a fierce one!

Mrs Dolloway...oh to your alter I worship.

Kokodee
ah you are ahead of the curve ...aren't you?...your avatar is now in vogue.

With tough love for all,TBL

Anna said...

Squall said: Also I'm very pleased that gossip about Jake is like him being nagged about his knees and his happiness by his mom and not ... ya know, doing lines of coke off some starletts ass.

Me too. I don't like the thought of people listening in on Jake's private conversations, but it's comforting to know that even The Sex gets nagged by his mom... ;D

cina said...

Hello Cina,
Stop tattooing ,piercing whatever your doing to your beautiful body this minute!
(I do miss the blonde)


My dearest TBL: No tattooing or piercing going on here, I promise! I already have one tattoo and that is enough for me, don't worry dear!
Now, I was afraid you wouldn't agree with my new style, but I promise - for your sake - to use my Hollywood Fashion tape (at least occasionally...) to secure my boobs when I'm out physically defending Jake. Is that ok? I'm sorry you miss the blond, I quite prefer being a brunette myself. :-)

The Bearded Lady said...

Well tattoos can be like potato chips...some people can't stop at just one.
Before you know it, you will look like Japanese Yakuza gang member.
It's a slippery slope.

The cleavage is a statement...isn't?...what's holding it all together? tape?
Oh my goodness.

smurfette said...

britpop, new pic here: http://www.teengossipblog.com/
teengossipblog/teengossipblog.php/
2006/08/24/
jake_gyllenhaal_in_new_york

dang, forgot my blogger pswd already, on my SECOND DAY! i'm worse than mrs_dalloway...

Agnes said...

Okay I want to tell you Kendra I am SO sorry about your blog *big hug* I hope you have the energy to restart it again.

And I also want to say Hello to all the new people (names) here!

Kendra said...

Thanks for the big hug, Agnes, I need so many hugs as a teddy-bear.

britpopbaby said...

Thanks for the link smurfette!

mrs_dalloway said...

Mrs Dalloway...oh to your alter I worship.

Why,thank you very much,my dear!I take that as a wonderful compliment to me,as I resemble her quite alot.Except that I don't have a flower obsession. Maybe when I'll be your age,TBL..maybe then.

dang, forgot my blogger pswd already, on my SECOND DAY! i'm worse than mrs_dalloway...

So you'll be as bad as I am, try writing all your passwords AND usernames in your agenda!Imagine that..my problem wasn't that I had forgotten my password, but that I didn't remember my ID!!!so..you might want to rethink who's the worst..:))
PS, Smurfette! I've found a very cute Smurf!It's not the girl,it's the boy..but he's very cheerful!If you want it,email me!;)

Anonymous said...

I think your nasty attitude makes a lot of people feel excluded. Calling it British humor is just a coput. You're very rude and inflexible, and I don't care if you like to hear it or not.

I see the person who said this went over and made a comment on WFT. Will some people never learn?

Anonymous said...

you know it is amazing what avatars can do and i am suprised to see the gender biases on this blog. i thought kokodee was a dude and nothing really matters was a girl until now, lol!

Btw, i love your unique and witty blog. My name is lisa and i am originally from canada now living in brighton. I rarely make any comments only because I feel so out classed by a lot of the smart ones here. But please keep doing what you do, I really enjoy your sense of humor.

Simon Agent 002 said...

@12:12 PM
So desperate to entertain their boring selves, it has come down to that...
Come here create conflict then report the results back at the home base! LOL

Anonymous said...

And as to the person who called me rude, inflexible and nasty - FUCK YOU. K? Tnxbye.

I would say fuck you too, but you're already fucked. K? Thnxbye.

britpopbaby said...

Yep, that's great.

Anonymous said...

12:12, the comment at WFT was mine; the one you mention here was made by an American.

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